Brax (11 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Nicole

They told me not to upset Doug. The good news about whatever
he’d taken, he wasn’t feeling any pain when I opened the sliding door and
stepped into his room. They had him on oxygen, I.V. fluids, and a medical
student sat on a chair beside him cleaning the wound to his ear. He was young. Probably
late twenties. Doug’s age. The contrast between them struck me. Both blond,
handsome, with baby blue eyes and shy smiles.

He could be anything, I thought. Doug could be doing something
with his life. He was smart enough. And yet, there he was, lying on that bed
with his head half caved in and God knew what racing through his veins. For the
millionth time since the first time I’d taken some middle-of-the-night phone
call about something my brother had done, I said the same prayer. Please let
this be the time he decides to turn everything around.

“Hey, Nic,” he croaked as I got closer. Brax came in behind
me. It hadn’t occurred to me to tell him not to. He kept a strong hand on my
shoulder and I drew strength from it, even as a tiny flicker of doubt crept
into my heart. It might be dangerous to count on him. Still, I wanted him here.
He hung back though, standing in the shadows as I approached Doug’s bed and sat
down on a wheeled stool beside him.

I took his hand, careful of the wires sticking out of it, and
gave him a little squeeze. Even that slight touch made him wince and I had
those twin emotions of wanting to fold him in my arms and throttle him all at
once.

“Doug, where have you been? What the hell happened to you?”

He shifted a little in the bed which earned him a stern look
from the med student. I think maybe I was wrong. He was younger than Doug. Like
the nurse outside, he didn’t look old enough to be driving a car let alone
providing medical care to my brother. But he had steady hands and a kind face.
I shot him a smile and looked back at Doug.

“Just a little misunderstanding. Nothing to worry about.”

I couldn’t see him, but I swear I could feel Brax’s eyes
boring into Doug’s like lasers. I’d had this conversation with Doug a thousand
times. He’d tell me don’t worry. He had everything under control. Then money
would disappear from the cash register or pieces of Grandma Ridley’s silver set
would grow legs. I rubbed my brow with my two fingers and sighed. Doug was
talking still, but I put up a hand to stop him.

“Save it. Just don’t. I can’t fix this anymore, Doug. You
brought it into the parlor this time. Goddammit. How many times did you swear
to me you’d never do that? How much do you owe and what are you on?” I hadn’t
meant to lay into him. But I was spent. Fried. And so tired of all of it.

His eyes went from me to Brax and back again. It occurred to
me I might not have been as blunt with Doug if Brax hadn’t been standing there.
But I became keenly aware of how everything sounded. As if I were watching it
as an observer like Brax was. My brother was a junkie. Plain and simple. He was
in his disease and everything he said to me was probably a lie.

Doug’s face changed. His lips tightened and I saw red fury
come into his eyes. He didn’t like being challenged and whatever drugs he still
had in his system were about to do the talking. This was the Bad Doug. The one
Melinda couldn’t deal with anymore.

“And just who the fuck are
you
?” he said, rising up in
his bed and looking over my shoulder.

Brax stepped forward. Turning toward him, I put a hand over his
where he touched my shoulder. I looked up and up as he towered over me. His motorcycle
boots thunked against the hard floor. I caught the eye of the med student and
all color drained from his face as he took in the full, menacing force of Brax
Anderson, leather cut and all.

“I’m a friend of your sister. And she needs one right now. You
wanna talk about what happened at the ice cream shop? And cut the shit. Someone
was there with you last night, weren’t they?”

Brax must have shot a look to the med student, because he
stiffened, gave a terse nod, and excused himself. God, I envied him. With just
the jerk of his chin or a blink, he could bring grown men to heel.  The Great
Wolves were aptly named. The med student slunk out of the room like a dog with a
tail between his legs. As soon as he’d slid the door shut behind him, Brax went
around the other side of Doug’s bed and put one booted foot up on the stool
there.

“Look,’ he said to Doug. “I’m not here to bust your balls. I
give zero fucks about your story. But Nicole’s at risk now because you put her
there. So do the decent thing and tell me what I’m dealing with.”

“You?
Fuck
you. I
know
who you are. You’re a
thug just like the rest of them. Nicole, get this loser out of my sight.”

Brax showed tremendous restraint. Only a tiny muscle in his
jaw betrayed the rage I knew he held in check. Rage that I started to feel too.

“Doug. Don’t be an asshole. Brax is a friend of mine and I
called him down here to help me.”

“A friend, huh? I’ll bet. Did you get in her pants? Is that
why you’re sitting there trying to pretend you give a shit right now?”

Brax moved like lightning and when he kicked the stool back,
it hit the wall and cracked like thunder. Doug flinched and let out a high
noise as Brax hovered over him. But he hadn’t laid a single finger on my
brother. Hot tears sprang in my eyes as I realized a part of me wished he had.
Even broken and battered as he was, I wanted someone to shake some sense into
him. I wanted my little brother back, not this raging, hurtful thing that
seemed to have taken up residence inside of him.

“Look,” Brax said, picking a piece of lint off Doug’s pillow.
“You’ve had a rough night. I get that. But you’ve got a chance here to turn
things around. Nicole’s all you’ve got and she hasn’t given up on you yet. That
tells me that maybe deep down inside she thinks there’s a part of you that’s
still worth saving. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt on that.
Which means I’m going to give
you
the benefit of the doubt. Now, if I
can, I’m going to help her help you. That makes this your lucky day. But here’s
what
you’re
going do to. The next time you talk to whatever douchebag
you’re dealing with, you’re going to make it real clear that your sister and
her business are off limits.  Do you understand that?”

Doug stared at a point on the wall and clenched his teeth
together. God. He used to do that when we were kids too. Whenever he got in trouble
he’d find some secret place inside of his head and escape to it. Brax couldn’t
know, but maybe he sensed it. Once Doug went inside of himself, there was no
getting through.

Brax shot me a look, his blue eyes flashing. I sighed and gave
him a slight shake of my head. He was wasting his breath. Brax bunched the
cotton pillow case behind Doug’s head in his fist and let it go hard. Then he
straightened, rising to his full, formidable height and stepped around the bed.
He did something bold then, kissing me on the top of the head in front of my
brother. It was a message I think even my brother understood.

“I’ll give you a few minutes,” he said. “Then meet me outside.
We need to talk before I leave.”

Keeping my eyes locked with Doug’s, I nodded. Then Brax ran a
hand down my back sending goosebumps in its wake before he turned on his heel
and left us alone.

As soon as the door slid shut, I turned back to Doug. He kept
his gaze fixed on the wall. I don’t know what he was expecting me to say, but I
don’t think it was this.

“You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

Doug flinched. He finally looked at me and his mouth dropped
open. The rage mask left his face and he looked like a little boy again. “Nic.
You’re going to ally yourself with that biker trash?”

“Stop. Just stop. You really think you’re the right person to
be talking to me about who I associate with? Just tell me how much trouble
you’re in this time. And be straight. Tell me who, what, and why. Now.”

“And I already told you. I need twenty grand, Nic. Just a
loan. Then I’ll be straight.”

I laughed. “Twenty. The other day it was fifteen and ten
before that. I don’t
have
it, Doug. Even if I wanted to give it to you.
I don’t have it. And if I thought that really was it. That you’d turn a corner
after that, I might even do it. But please stop lying to me. Stop lying to
yourself. You’re sick, Doug. You need help. Until you get clean, none of this
is ever going to stop.”

“You don’t understand,” he said, picking at his nail. “You’ve
had it easy, Nicole. You’ve had everything handed to you. You’re perfect.
Remember?”

“Oh shut up. Don’t start with me.
You
don’t understand.
I’ve worked hard for everything, Doug. Everything. You think it was easy
keeping the business afloat after Daddy did what he did? I gave up my life to
come back here and salvage what I could. And I did it. No one helped me.”

“
I
helped you. Jesus. You talk like Dad’s shit didn’t
land on me just as hard. It was harder even because I’m named after him. You
could have gotten away clean. I couldn’t. You didn’t have to come back here.”

I literally bit my tongue. He didn’t want to hear what I had
to say. There was nothing clean about what I did. He was right though, I’d had
my future laid out for me. I was two weeks away from college graduation when my
father got arrested. I was ready to go and get an MBA. But I came back home.
Doug was only a senior in high school and I came home for him. And I saved the
business for him too. At least, that’s how it started. Now though, it was mine.
And instead of Daddy’s bad choices threatening to take it all away, now they
were Doug’s.

“Doug, I’m asking you to get help. No. I’m begging you. Get
clean. Stay clean. If you do that, then I swear to God I’ll do whatever I can
to get you out of the mess you’re in. The doctors are going to come in here in
a bit and they’re going to talk to you about options. You need rehab. Far away
from here. You know it and so do I. Won’t you please go? For me, if not for
yourself. Please.”

Tears sprang into his eyes and for once I think they were
genuine. And that was the crux of my brother. He could volley from sweet to
awful in the literal blink of an eye. And no matter what else he was, he’d
always be that lost little boy who couldn’t understand why his mother left him
the way she did. And no matter what else I was, I could never replace her.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed and I could see the physical pain of
the effort etched in his face. I went to him, gingerly wrapping my arms around him.
There was nowhere on him to kiss that wasn’t bruised or bandaged.

“Please,” I said, letting my own tears fall. “Please get help
this time. I want you back. I
need
you. I’m so tired of doing all of
this by myself. We’re all we’ve got. Don’t you get that? They’re never coming
back. Not Mom. Not Dad. It’s just us. And I’m trying so hard to keep it
together. But I
need
you. Please.”

Doug nodded and cried into my shoulder.

“Mel’s here,” I whispered into the top of his head. Doug let
out a painful sob at the news.

“Are you serious?”

I smoothed back a lock of his hair still caked with blood.
“I’m serious. She rode with me. She’s out in the waiting room and scared to
death. She still cares about you too. I can’t speak for her. You’ve put her
through almost as much as you’ve put me through. But maybe there’s still a
chance.”

“God. I love her, Nic.”

“I know. So why don’t you do everything you can to fight for
her?”

“She doesn’t want me anymore.”

“You’re right. She doesn’t want you
sick
anymore. But
Doug, she never left. You get that, right? She sure as hell didn’t have to stay
at Ridley’s, but she has. You think that’s just because she likes serving ice
cream to pimply teenagers? You can ask her yourself, but I think she’s waiting
to see how you’ll turn out.”

He sniffled. “I want to see her. Can you go get her?”

I kissed the top of his head and slid off the bed. “Yes. But
be nice. She’s a wreck and worried about you. Let her be mad at you for a
little while if that’s what she needs. And then be a man. Tell her you’re going
to rehab and you’re going to get better. And Jesus, don’t scare her. Don’t make
her any promises. Just tell her you’re going to try.”

Doug slowly nodded and gave me as much of a smile as he could
through his swollen lips. God, he looked pitiful and small in that bed and it
was everything in me not to hug him tight. But I couldn’t protect him. I knew
that now. He was never going to get better unless he wanted to. I just prayed
that this was finally his rock bottom. Because I couldn’t imagine anything
worse.

Chapter Fifteen

Brax

I came back to the ice cream shop with her that night. Nicole
was so spent I practically had to carry her in the back door. She’d been tough
all day for her brother but it had taken its toll. She propped herself up
against the back wall while I insisted on checking the place out. When I’d
convinced myself the coast was clear, I went back for her.

“Come on,” I said, taking her hand. “Take me upstairs.”

“Mmm.” God, when this woman moaned it sent shock waves through
me. She rested her head against my chest as we walked up the stairs together.
She had a steel door at the top separating the apartment from the restaurant
downstairs.

“Good move,” I said, liking the solid weight of the thing. “And
good door.”

“Doug installed it for me. I’ve always hated it because it’s
so heavy and ugly.”

I smiled down at her. It was kind of a chick thing to say and
for half a second I got a glimpse of maybe what the real Doug Ridley was like
underneath his addiction. If anyone tried to bust into the shop at night,
they’d have a hell of a time getting through this door. He’d put two heavy
deadbolts on it. Just like I would have if I’d been the one here when she moved
in.

Nicole fumbled for her keys and handed them to me. I’d
insisted on going in first there too though I doubted anything could have
busted through that door. Still, who the fuck knew if her brother gave someone
else the keys.

“I want you to change the locks on at least this door like
yesterday,” I told her as I popped open and had a look inside.

I liked the layout of the place. The building that housed
Ridley’s
had been a warehouse long ago. Nicole owned half of it, the dry cleaners and
barber shop owned the other half.  She hadn’t covered the brick walls or the
huge pipes throughout.

“It’s a little sparse,” she said, through a yawn. “We used to
use it for storage. After my dad, uh . . . left, I wanted to save all the money
I could and the bank took the house I grew up in. So I kinda turned this place
into mine. I wanted to put up walls and drywall, but Doug talked me out of it.”

Well, shit, I thought. The kid knew what he was doing.

“No. I like it like this. All open the way it is.” I looked at
the place with a carpenter’s eye. She had custom shelving on the back wall near
her bed. A half wall separated her living space from the kitchen. The whole
thing was inlaid with stain-glassed windows. I ran my hands along them. Shit,
they were old with copper frames and intricate designs.  

“That was also Doug,” she said. “You remember Saint Augustine’s
down on Jackson Street? When they tore it down he went down there and salvaged
a bunch of stuff.”

I nodded, impressed as hell. “It’s perfect.” And it was. Shit.

“Are you hungry?”

She padded over to the kitchen area and opened the fridge. She
took out two bottles of beer and tossed one to me. “I’m not much of a cook. How
do you feel about spaghetti?”

“Beer’s fine. I’m good. But I’ll make you something if you
want.”

She smiled and shook her head. “God, I’m just tired.
Exhausted. And you must think I’m a crazy person dragging you into all my drama
like this. It occurred to me today that where you’re concerned that’s all I’ve
ever done.”

She collapsed on a futon near the center of the room. I sat
beside her and pulled her feet into my lap. She groaned again when I rubbed her
insteps and it made my cock swell. I knew she was cooked, but I wasn’t sure I
could leave here tonight without easing my growing need.

“I don’t exactly mind,” I said. “I’m just sorry you’ve got
that kind of drama. I know what it’s like, you know?”

Her eyes snapped open and she took a swig of beer. “Really?”

I nodded. “Not me personally, but my mom was a junkie. Pills
mostly. Sweet one minute, life of the party. Then she’d turn on a dime and get
the fuck out of the way. She was an artist back in her day. She painted murals
and landscapes. There are even a few of her pieces still hanging on a wall
somewhere at the Lincolnshire Art Museum. But she couldn’t keep it up.
Everything started going to hell. My dad took off when I was maybe five. Couldn’t
put up with her shit anymore. It’s funny how much you can love and hate a
person all at once.”

Nicole ran a hand over her face. “That’s exactly it, isn’t it?
I know
you
must hate Doug. And why wouldn’t you? God, he’s such an
asshole. He wasn’t always. Underneath all of that he’s sweet and funny and
vulnerable. He was so smart. Artistic. He could fix anything with his hands.
What he did with this place was just the tip of the iceberg of the kind of
things he could do. I tried to get him to go to college to study architecture
or interior design. He even took a few classes, but then everything just turned
to shit. He calls it his reverse Midas touch.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry for that. And I’d like to tell you
everything is going to be okay. But you more than anyone know I’d be lying.”

She smiled and shifted her weight; bringing herself up on her
knees she took my face in her hands and kissed me. She smelled like cinnamon
and sunlight as her hair fell around my shoulders.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t tell me that. Never lie to me,
Brax.”

Never lie to her. I tilted her head toward mine and kissed her
sweet lips. “I can’t promise I can tell you everything all the time, Nic.”

She nodded. “I know what you mean and I get that. I’m not
asking for all of your secrets. But if you tell me something, promise me it
will always be the truth.”

My heart clenched at the set of her eyes. I knew what she was
asking me. She wanted to trust me and she’d been burned enough in her life to understand
the risk of that. And I wanted to be worthy of it. I swallowed hard and looked
away first, hating myself for it just a little bit. But when I looked back, she
was still waiting for me to answer. She hadn’t flinched.

“I promise I won’t lie to you.”

I leaned down to kiss her and I swear it started out just with
that. But when her lips warmed beneath mine, a fuse lit inside me. I slid one
hand beneath her skirt and fumbled with the snaps down the front of her dress.
She groaned in half-hearted protest. “I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

“Walking’s overrated,” I said as I kissed along her throat and
lifted her, carrying her toward the bed. “Besides, I’ll take it easy on you
this time, promise.”

“Hmm, two promises in one day,” she said, dubious, but she was
already working on my belt loop. She shed her dress and unhooked her bra,
letting me at those luscious pink nipples.

“We ought to invent a new flavor for these,” I said as I
licked at the tiny buds and made them rise to peaks for me. “Strawberry kiss.”

“Mmm. We could do that. Maybe some night you could help me
with a taste test.”

“Now
that
is something we are definitely going to do.”

I kept my promise. I was quick but gentle with her as I slid
into her heated wetness. Fuck. This felt like home. I wished I could stay
inside of her forever. I stretched her wide and felt her juices flow around me
with every inch she took. I loved the way she arched her back for me; I put my
hands under her supple ass, angling her just right. She opened her eyes and
smiled as I felt the first quickening of her walls. God. She fit me tight like
a glove and all it took was one look from me and she was primed and ready. Like
she was made for me. Or maybe I was made for her.

She curved herself around me, giving into her powerful orgasm
as I held her tight and waited. For in a minute, I wouldn’t be able to hold
back. I needed the release as much as she did.

When she clawed my back and cried out my name, the dam inside
of me burst as well. I spilled my seed into her, claiming her all over again.
For so many years I’d wondered if having her like this would feel as good as I
remembered. It didn’t. It was so much better. Because now, we knew who we were.
We had the battle scars to prove it. And yet somehow, we’d found each other
again.

When we were both spent, she curled against me, resting her
head against my arm. I smoothed her hair away from her face and kissed the
space behind her earlobe. Inhaling her scent, I gave her a little nip that made
her squeal and buck against me. Shit. I wondered if I’d make it through the
night without needing her again. Nicole molded herself against me, that round
little ass of hers fitting tight against my thighs.

“Thank you,” she whispered, drunk with impending sleep. “For
being there with me today. You didn’t have to.”

I nodded and kissed her again. I wouldn’t tell her what I
wanted to say—not yet. The truth was, I
did
need to be there. Because
she was mine now. What hurt her, hurt me. It might have happened fast and I
didn’t want to spook her. But there it was. If she’d have me, I wasn’t going to
let her go. And I wasn’t going to let anything dark come into her world again
if I could help it.