Breakfast at Darcy's (38 page)

Caitlin glares at me, while Conor simply shakes his head.

‘Darcy and I have had a few too many whiskies, that’s all,’ Dermot states matter-of-factly. He turns to me. ‘I think I
should probably go now, anyway, and collect Megan. Perhaps we can finish our discussions tomorrow?’

‘Sure. Thanks for all your help tonight.’

‘Any time,’ Dermot walks towards the door. ‘Are you coming?’ he asks a stony-faced Caitlin. He passes the cushion to Conor
on the way out. ‘Perhaps you can teach her how to have a good pillow fight, Conor,’ he says as he leaves. ‘I didn’t get very
far tonight, I can assure you. We’ll see ourselves out.’

Conor takes the pillow and coldly watches Dermot escort Caitlin through the door before he turns towards me. ‘Darcy, I think
you’ve got some explaining to do.’

I spend a lot of my time over the next few weeks explaining.

I try to explain to Conor just why Dermot was chasing me round my kitchen with a cushion, eventually having to tell him all
about the holistic resort idea. Eventually Conor accepts my explanation without too much fuss.

In fact, I think I might have preferred it if he
had
shown a bit more hostility towards the situation. He could have seemed at least a
bit
bothered that another man was chasing his girlfriend, and then had her pinned up against the sink apparently about to kiss
her. But not Conor: he takes his usual relaxed attitude to the situation once he’s got over his initial flash of jealousy,
and immediately moves on, and I begin to wonder once again about Conor, and our relationship.

And what
was
Dermot going to do in my kitchen that night before we were interrupted –
was
he going to kiss me? I spend a great deal of time trying to explain this one to myself.

Dermot’s changed since coming to Tara. It’s like he’s peeled
away some of his rough, spiky outer layers to reveal an inner Dermot he’s always kept hidden. He’s just the opposite of the
ruin up on the hill. The building had its engraved heart on the outside for all to see, though it’s walls were crumbling.
Dermot’s always been a solid, dependable person, but he’s kept his heart hidden. Now I can see what’s going on inside Dermot,
and I’m noticing that what’s on the outside is in pretty good shape, too.

But over the next few weeks, my changing feelings towards Dermot and Conor are just one of many worries. I have to explain
to everyone else my plans for the building and the island, and they are met with mixed reactions. But most of the islanders
turn from sceptical to enthusiastic once I’ve taken them aside individually and spoken to them about how I see their own role
in this new project. It’s only Niall who looks like the proverbial rabbit in headlights – only this rabbit is wearing glasses.

‘Darcy, where are you going to get all the money for this?’ he asks. ‘I told you the other day – you’re nearly broke.’

‘And I told you I’d think of something.’

‘Yes, something that doesn’t involve shelling out loads more cash first.’

‘It’ll be fine, Niall,’ I reassure him. ‘By the time Dermot’s finished all the plans, and we need to start buying building
stuff, I’ll have a plan of my very own to find the money.’

Niall doesn’t look too convinced, and at this moment I feel pretty much the same.

Eamon is surprisingly quite relaxed about the project.

‘If that’s what you want to do with Tara, Darcy,’ he says, ‘then I’m sure you’ll do it well.’

‘You mean, you’re not going to kick up a fuss, Eamon? I ask in surprise. ‘I really thought you’d hate the idea.’

Eamon holds his walking stick out in front of him and balances himself on it with two hands. ‘My time to have any say in what
goes on here has long gone. The future is in your hands now, Darcy.
The King is dead; long live the King
.’

I watch Eamon walk away up the hill and back to his cottage. He really is getting stranger by the day.

But if my explanations to everyone else go reasonably smoothly, my explanations to Caitlin surprisingly do not fall on such
willing ears, and it’s not for the reasons I expect.

‘I’m leaving, Darcy,’ Caitlin tells me one Saturday morning when I’ve popped across to the shop for some milk.

‘What? Why, Caitlin?’

‘I just don’t think it’s working out.’ She straightens some boxes of matches that are stacked up on the counter.

‘Of course it’s working out! You’ve done a wonderful job in the shop here, what would we have done without you?’

‘You’d have managed,’ she says, avoiding eye contact with me.

‘But why now? I just don’t understand.’

‘I’ve decided to go travelling.’ Caitlin begins unloading packets of biscuits from a cardboard box. ‘I need to go and see
what’s out there in the world, and if I don’t do something with my life now then I’ll end up forever stacking shelves just
like this one.’ She slams a packet down on the counter and looks at me for the first time.

‘Have you been talking to Conor?’ I ask, thinking this sounds like his handiwork.

‘I might have.’

‘Has he persuaded you to do this?’

‘No, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. I’ve just never had the guts or the reason to do it before. I thought that
coming here to live on this island was going to be an adventure, but I’m falling into just the same traps I fall into back
home. I’m virtually doing the same job, and my personal life is beginning to repeat itself too.’ She drops her head again
and turns away.

‘Are you talking about you and Dermot?’

‘If there is such a thing as me and Dermot.’

‘Of course there is. You’ve been together for, what?’ I think quickly.
It’s mid-September now …
‘It must be about three months.’

Has it been that long? It doesn’t seem five minutes since the dinner party.

‘You’d think after that long we’d be a proper couple. But I’m not so sure Dermot sees us that way.’ Caitlin now begins rearranging
some cereal boxes stacked up behind her.

‘Caitlin!’ I snap, losing patience. ‘Talk to me, I’m your friend.’

‘Are you?’ Caitlin suddenly spins around. ‘Are you really, Darcy?’

I’m shocked by Caitlin’s sudden change of tone, and her quite aggressive stance with her hands on the counter, glaring at
me.

‘I … I don’t know what you mean.’

Caitlin relaxes slightly, but she still looks upset. ‘I never stood a chance with you here.’ She hangs her head and looks
at the counter. ‘Not with Dermot. And then when Megan came to stay with us for those few weeks in the summer, it just made
it even worse.’

She looks up at me now, waiting for my defence.

But I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be defending myself for. I haven’t actually done anything, have I?

‘I’m sorry, Caitlin, but I really don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Caitlin takes her hands off the counter and stands up straight. ‘You see, that just makes it all the worse, Darcy,’ she says
with a sigh. ‘You really don’t know, do you?’

I shake my head.

‘Dermot is in love with you.’

Whoah, I wasn’t expecting that.
Looking around for something to steady me, I rest my hand on the shop counter.

‘Don’t be daft,’ I say lightly, trying to think where she could have got such a notion from. There was the kitchen sink incident
a few weeks ago, but that was just a one-off, and we’d explained that – it was just a few too many whiskies – hadn’t we? ‘Dermot’s
not in love with me. Whatever gave you that idea?’

‘His daughter.’

‘But why would Megan say that?’

‘I don’t know, you tell me.’

Helplessly I shake my head; this is all getting too much. I can’t think about Dermot like that right now; this situation is
just becoming way too confusing. I don’t need someone else making things even worse with the announcement that he’s in love
with me. Then there’s Conor to think of. I’ve been having my doubts about our relationship for a while, but that’s to do with
him and me; Dermot’s not a factor in that.

Caitlin sighs. ‘But it wouldn’t matter what Megan said, the writing was on the wall before she even got here. I can never
match up to you, no matter what I try to do. You’re like a Greek goddess on this island, Darcy, everyone thinks you’re wonderful,
no one can come close to you.’

Now she’s just being ridiculous. Greek goddess? I was more like the court jester when I first arrived on Tara.

‘You shouldn’t take it to heart, Caitlin. Megan’s only eleven, she doesn’t know—’

‘Stop right there,’ Caitlin says, cutting me off. ‘Megan knows everything she needs to, don’t let her fool you, Darcy. She’s
smart, that one.’

‘I know that. But you can’t just give up on a relationship because your partner’s daughter has made a mistake. She’s probably
just a bit protective of Dermot. She wouldn’t be the first daughter to be looking out for her dad in matters of the heart.’

Caitlin shakes her head. ‘It’s not just Megan. It’s you. It’s Dermot. It’s the way he is around you, the way he looks at you.
You must have noticed it.’

‘No,’ I say, slapping my hand down on the counter. ‘No, you’re wrong. Dermot doesn’t feel like that about me, we’re just friends
and we’ve been spending a bit more time together lately because of planning the renovations, that’s all. Anyway, I’m with
Conor.’

Caitlin raises her eyebrows. ‘And that, Darcy, is precisely why you don’t notice any of this going on, and why Dermot would
never tell you. He’s too much of a gentleman.’

I’ve heard enough.

‘I’m sorry if you feel you want to leave Tara. And I’m sorry you feel that your relationship with Dermot is not working out.
But I will not take the blame for it happening, and neither
should you blame Megan.’ I let go of the shop counter for the first time since Caitlin’s revelation and fold my arms. ‘When
would you like to go?’

Caitlin sighs. ‘As soon as I possibly can.’

‘Then I’ll arrange for Conor to take you across in the boat sometime tomorrow. I’m really sorry this didn’t work out for you,’
my voice becomes softer as I relax my arms again. ‘You’ll be greatly missed by many of us here, including me.’

Caitlin doesn’t speak, so I go to leave the shop.

‘Darcy,’ she calls, as I’m about to go out through the door.

I turn back.

‘One day you’ll know the truth,’ she says. ‘This island seems to have a habit of making people realise what they truly want
in life. It certainly has me.’

I nod at Caitlin as I leave the shop, the tinkling of the doorbell still ringing in my ears as I walk away across O’Connell
Street.

If that’s the case, then please, Tara, when are you going to cast that particular spell over me?

Caitlin departs after a riotous leaving party that sees much merriment in The Temple Bar pub, with dancing both on the floor
and on the tables by some of the more intoxicated members of the island. Dermot has decided not to attend, and instead spends
the night at his cottage working on the plans for the new building.

I don’t know what was said between the two of them that night, or if Caitlin ever told Dermot all the reasons she was leaving
Tara. But Dermot has chosen not to talk about it to anyone, and the last time I see the two of them together is when we are
all seeing Caitlin off from the harbour.

‘Good luck, Caitlin,’ I say, hugging her as she goes to get on the boat.

‘And you, Darcy,’ she says, smiling at me. ‘I’ve a feeling you’ll need it, keeping this lot in line.’ She leans in towards
me. ‘I’ve left you a present,’ she whispers in my ear, ‘under the
counter in the shop. Just to show there’s no ill will between us. I know you’ll find a use for them.’

After we’ve watched her sail away with Conor, and everyone begins to wander back to their cottages and jobs, I go back to
the shop to take a look. And there, as promised, is a blue box with a label on it.
To Darcy, one day you’ll understand. Caitlin x

I open up the lid of the box and inside find a multitude of coloured stones. They’re the crystals Caitlin used to keep in
the basket.

‘I hope so, Caitlin,’ I whisper, as I run my hands through the contents of the box, letting the crystals slide through my
fingers. ‘I really do.’

With Caitlin gone, things change on Tara, so that when Megan arrives for the half-term holiday Orla has taken over the running
of the shop, but is being assisted by Siobhan. This allows them both time away to teach their t’ai chi classes and perform
their reiki and massage sessions. Dermot, with extra encouragement from me, has asked his daughter if she’d like to return
to Tara for another holiday, and both Megan and Eileen jump at the chance for her to come to the island again.

‘Why did Caitlin leave?’ Megan asks me one morning, when we’ve gone up to the ruins with Dermot to look over some of the plans.
Dermot is inside, double-checking some measurements, while Megan and I sit on the wall outside and wait for him. ‘It all seemed
a bit sudden.’

‘She just decided she wanted to go travelling and see more of the world,’ I explain while I take my sweatshirt off. It may
be the end of October, but it’s still a warm day. ‘It wasn’t really all that sudden.’

‘Hmm,’ Megan says thoughtfully. ‘Just seemed odd, that’s all, when Dad told me.’

‘So,’ I say to change the subject, ‘how are we going to celebrate your birthday this week? What would you like to do – have
a party?’

Megan shrugs. ‘I don’t know. What do you usually do to celebrate people’s birthdays here?’

Not an awful lot. My birthday was in January, so I’d not celebrated one since I’d been here. But there have been a few others,
and they usually just consist of a few drinks in The Temple Bar and a few toasts to the birthday boy or girl. At Paddy’s insistence
we’ve done a bit more for Niall at the end of September when we’d all had a meal together, but other than Conor and I celebrating
his birthday together in June when we’d had a moonlit picnic down on the beach, birthdays are a pretty uneventful affair for
the islanders here on Tara.