Breaking Away (43 page)

Her love for him deepened her responses. Left her as vulnerable to him emotionally as she’d ever been physically to Will. In the last two weeks she’d reveled in their closeness, but there had been moments of fear mixed in. What if something happened to end this? Just the thought squeezed her heart and made it difficult for her to breathe. Joy loved Tim as much as she did. He offered Joy all the affection and attention Will hadn’t. She would be just as devastated.

And Tim loved them. She saw it in the tenderness and care he showed Joy, the passion he had for her. She had to set aside this fear and just enjoy being with him. And hope Will continued to stay away.

“What are you thinking about?” His voice, gravely with sleep, broke into her thoughts.

“How I wish you didn’t have to sneak away so Joy wouldn’t see you in my bed.”

She turned her lips against his chest and slid her hand down over his stomach in a slow deliberate quest for what lay beneath the sheets. By the time her fingers closed around him, he was already hard in anticipation of her touch.

Tim’s heated gaze tripped her heartbeat into thunder mode. They were so lucky to have found each other. A wave of tenderness and love rolled over her. When she bent her head to place an open mouthed kiss on his chest, she felt his quick, indrawn breath. Encouraged by his response, she found one of his flat nipples and laved it, then sucked. His erection hardened in her hand. She rained kisses down the center of his stomach as she continued to caress him, up and down. His stomach muscles tensed beneath the gentle nip of her teeth.

“Sam,” he whispered, his voice a voice husky, his fingers tangling in her hair.

When her mouth closed over him, he made a strangled sound of pleasure that made her hum in satisfaction. There was power in giving him pleasure. Each time she shared herself with him, it made her stronger.

“I’m not going to be a damn bit of use to you, if you don’t stop,” his voice was rough.

It was so arousing, knowing how she could drive him as quickly over the edge as he did her. She straddled his hips and lowered herself over him.

His hips jerked in reaction, deepening the contact. “Jesus, you feel so perfect, Sam.” He ran his hand from her hips and up her back, drawing her down for a long, deep kiss.

She captured a slow, intense rhythm, tilting her hips and taking him deep with each movement.
I love you.
The words lay there between them with every movement of their bodies, every shared caress of their hands and lips. All too quickly fulfillment overtook her with a sweet, sweeping pleasure that left her gasping. Tim’s climax followed and triggered a renewed need for more.

The words still lay there between them as they looked into each other’s eyes. And when he said them aloud, she stopped breathing for a moment.

“I love you,” he said again.

She leaned down to rub her cheek against his beard, then turned her lips against his, “I love you, too.”

Flash pulled the car in front of the house. They’d spent the morning at the Springs Preserve, walking through the museum, the exterior displays of flora and fauna, then caught a movie after lunch. It had been a perfect family day. He’d even enjoyed the movie about cartoon cars.

But regret and worry had plagued him all day. The more time he spent with Sam and Joy, the harder it was to tell Sam about the trouble he knew was coming. He could feel it. He’d already begun to look over his shoulder, regularly check the rear view mirror, and check the computer monitor and doors at night. Every day he remained here, he put the two most important people in his life in danger.

For the last week he’d spent every moment he could with them. It was selfish and short-sighted, but the time he had with them would give him something to hold on to when he was either in jail or back on his team.

Those thoughts were more than selfish. Now that he had said the words and she had too, it had made it even more real. What would it do to her when he was gone? What would it do to Joy?

Maybe he could ask Sam to leave with him, but she’d struggled so hard to keep the house. It was home to her. Once he’d told her the truth, she’d want him as far away from her and Joy as he could get.

And it would kill him.

He couldn’t just disappear like he’d done before. He couldn’t leave her wondering what had happened to him, as he had with nearly everyone else in his life. Like his team. Why hadn’t he run to them, instead of away? He believed he’d put his experience in juvie behind him, but he hadn’t. The abuse dealt to him by the older boys, the barred windows, and locked doors. He’d die in jail. But he couldn’t run again. He couldn’t bring himself to leave Sam and Joy. And if there was a single chance he could walk away from this and still have Sam and Joy in his life, he had to take it.

“My legs are all wobbly mommy. I’m tired,” Joy whined from the back seat.

“I’ll get her,” Flash said, exiting the car.

Once he’d released her from her booster seat, Joy slipped her arms around his neck and attached herself to him like a spider monkey. He gave her small body a hug and tucked his arm beneath her bottom.

Sam ran up the three steps to unlock the front door. Joy lay against his shoulder and Flash rested a hand against her back to hold her in place as he side-stepped past Sam into the house.

Joy’s arms tightened around his neck and she snuggled close. “Are we going to have chow?”

“What kind of chow do you want, sweet tart?” He rubbed her back and breathed in her kid smell of outdoors and cherry Kool-Aid.

“Nuggets.”

“You’re going to turn into a nugget. In fact, I think I see a brown crunchy spot right there on your arm. I’ll nibble it off.” He pretended to gnaw her arm, making noises like Tasmanian Devil.

Joy squealed and wiggled in his arms. He swung her down and laid her on the couch. Joy grinned. “Your beard tickles, Mr. Tim.”

“So I’ve been told.” Flash looked up at Sam and grinned. She wagged a finger at him and soft color rushed to her cheeks.

“I’ll heat up your nuggets left over from lunch, Joy,” she said.

“’Kay. Play Barbie with me, Mr. Tim,” she begged.

“Uh…”

Sam disappeared behind the dividing wall between the kitchen and living room, but it did nothing to muffle her laughter.

Joy wiggled off the couch and ran to the large pink Barbie house that sat in its place of honor in front of the fireplace. She jerked a male doll out of one of the rooms and hustled back to him with it.

Unable to think of any way out of it, Flash took a seat on the rug in front of the dollhouse. And for the longest ten minutes of his life he played Ken to Joy’s Barbie. He dressed the naked doll in the bathing suit and shirt Joy handed him, and pushed him around in a pink convertible he thought did nothing for the dude’s image.

Joy jabbered on about the plastic couple’s relationship. “And Ken takes her to the movies like you did me and mommy. And drives her around like you did me and mommy.”

Sam appeared from the kitchen and called Joy to the table. He heard chairs being pulled out in the next room while he parked the pink monstrosity in front of the dollhouse.

Sam wandered back into the living room. “I’ve put a frozen pizza in for us. It’ll be done in a few minutes.”

“I’m good.” He flopped back on the brown, red, and cream-patterned area rug. “I may have to lie here for the rest of the evening to recover.”

Sam laughed and stretched out next to him on the rug. Flash extended an arm to act as a pillow and she curled in against his side.

“Out of all the protective, caring things you’ve done for us, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as sweet as you playing Barbie with Joy.”

“She pretty much has me right here,” he said pointing to his heart. “But that dude Ken has some real body issues.”

Sam laughed out loud.

“If the guys in my team ever saw me—” Realizing what he was about to say, he stopped.

She ran her hand back and forth across his t-shirt-covered chest, and despite the mental kicking he was giving himself for the slip, his heart and body responded to her touch with a hunger he didn’t try to suppress.

“I know you were special ops. Isn’t that what they call it?”

His throat was suddenly dry. “Yes. A Navy SEAL.” He was still a Navy SEAL—until they discharged him or arrested him for desertion. The thought had his stomach muscles tightening and an ache settled like he’d been punched in the solar plexus. They’d give him a dishonorable discharge and prison time. He’d been AWOL nearly a year. He threw an arm over his eyes to hide his expression.

“You don’t have to talk about it. I know you guys can’t talk about things, even with your families.”

“No. Not much.” He grasped the hand that lay on his chest and held her palm against his cheek. “We’ll talk about it later, after Joy’s in bed.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah. I think I do.” He turned on his side and his mouth found hers. He was hungry for her, for everything she was willing to give. He loved her so much. For a moment, Sam’s response was as unfettered as his.

The oven timer went off, and Joy yelled, “Mommy.”

Sam continued to press soft kisses to his mouth, then with a sigh drew back. “Later,” she promised with one last kiss, rolled to her knees, and stood.

Giving himself a moment to rein in his emotions, Flash lay there and swallowed back the pain. He shoved to his feet and followed her into the kitchen.

“Want a nugget?” Joy asked, holding one up.

“No. Thanks, honey.” He wasn’t sure he could even stomach the slice of pizza Sam slid onto his plate.

“Mommy’s honey. I’m sweet tart, Mr. Tim.”

He smiled. “Yes, you are.”

Though it felt like a fist lay lodged in his throat, Flash choked down one piece of pizza and a little salad, then cleaned his plates and put them in the dishwasher.

“I have to go over to the apartment to get my laptop. I have some things saved on it I want you to see.”

“Okay.”

He brushed Sam’s cheek with his lips before he headed over to the apartment, then rushed back, his heart pounding in his ears. Using the key she’d given him, he let himself back in and reset the alarm. He heard Sam in the bathroom getting Joy out of the tub. He sat at the kitchen table and pulled up two of the videos and put them on the desktop for her to view, then closed the computer. There was no need for her to watch them all; the less she knew, the safer she would be once he was gone. The video reports he’d sent to Captain Jackson were enough.

He went into the living room and sat down in one of the overstuffed chairs. Images flickered across the television screen, but he couldn’t concentrate on the comedy playing on it.

Joy ran in with a rag doll and a book and proceeded to climb up into his lap. She tucked herself in against his side and propped her feet onto his knee, her favorite position. She smelled like baby shampoo and her hair lay in soft wisps against his arm.

“Is that what you want to read before bed?” he asked taking the book from her.

“Uh-huh.”

He opened the book. He took his time reading each page and allowing her to point out the characters. Sam came into the room and took a seat on the couch. Eventually Joy grew still and curled in against him, and he set the book aside and just held her until she fell asleep.

Sam rose and started forward, but he shook his head. “I’ll carry her.” She went ahead of him to Joy’s room and pulled back the bedclothes to allow him to lay her down. She pulled the covers up. He paused beside the bed, taking in the long sweep of Joy’s lashes resting on her cheeks and the flyaway blonde hair. A wave of tenderness and grief nearly brought him to his knees. He turned and left the room, but paused outside in the hall and leaned back against the wall.

Sam came out of the room and stopped to look up at him, concern in the crease of her brow and the anxious expression in her eyes. “What is it?”

“I wish we’d met six years ago. I wish she were ours. He doesn’t know what he’s thrown away. But I do.”

“Oh, Tim…” Her eyes filled with tears and she put her arms around him, holding him tight. He wrapped his arms around her, buried his face in her hair, breathed in her scent and held on until the pain eased a little.

“I love you. Love you both,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“I—we—love you, too.” Her fingers caressed the back of his head and neck.

He wanted to forget about everything but how they felt about one another, but he couldn’t. If something happened to Sam and Joy he’d never forgive himself.

“I’m in trouble, Sam.” He swallowed. He forced himself to release her and took a step back. “My commanding officer, Captain Jackson, will be meeting with me at the Bellagio this Thursday.” He shook his head. “You need to watch the video files I’ve compiled for you so you’ll understand.”

“What kind of trouble?” she asked, a frown drawing her brows together.

She’d never believe him. She’d think he was pretending to be Rambo or trying to pull a con. Even a military spouse would have trouble believing all this. What was he thinking? He drew a deep breath.

“I’ll give you the background info, then you need to watch the videos.” He drew her into the living room and they sat down on the couch.