Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) (23 page)

15.

“Get out of bed.”

“Leave me alone. Sienna murmured and buried her face deeper in to her pillow. Smeags yowled and scratched her legs.

“Ow! You’re so aggressive!” she hissed and sat up irritably.

“Please, Sienna. Its four o clock in the afternoon.” Candice pleaded as she stood over her bed with her arms crossed.

“Why?” Sienna asked frankly with a glazed look in her eyes.

“Who are you? I don’t even recognize you anymore. For the past few months all you’ve done is sleep, mope about and listen to whiny music!”

“You know when I was a kid I used to envy you so much.”

“Who? Me?” Sienna scoffed and rubbed her sleepy eyes. ‘
This should be good,’
she thought wryly.

“Oh yeah, not because I thought you seemed to have a pretty good life with both your parents and a nice house and all but because you were so unfazed by anything in life. I remember one summer when Uncle Phil was teaching us to ride our bikes for the first time without the training wheels and you just kept on falling and each time you’d dust yourself off and get up again without a word, no complaints, nothing, no tears. You must have fallen at least six times. Your knees were grazed and you had dirt in your hair and dust on your hands but you didn’t care, you just kept on riding, you kept trying, you never gave up.”

“Oh god, you’re worse than Dr. Nicholson and his whiny attempts to make me talk about my childhood.” She moaned and fell back against her pillow.

“Remember when we were twelve and I saw you at Christmas in uncle George’s house? You walked in with a page boy haircut which you loved and thought looked so cool but everyone laughed and said you looked like a boy?”

“If this is meant to cheer me up. Its really not working.”

“What I mean is, you just laughed along with us even though I know it hurt your feelings, at least back then you had the courage to put on a front, to put on a smile and to keep on walking with your head held high. You didn’t ever let anybody keep you down. And now…”

“And now I’m sleepy. Big whoop. Get lost Candice go find some other poor son of a bitch to pester and reform to make yourself feel better.” Sienna retorted scornfully.

“Come on, Sienna. Just get up. At least try. It’s a beautiful day outside.”

“No its not. Its all just an illusion.”

“What is?”

“The world. The beauty. Its just a ploy to suck you in just like a piece of cheese left on a mousetrap ready to lure you in and snap back on you and keep you down.”

“Sienna I just want to know why you’re so mad!” Candice exclaimed angrily.

“Because I want to sleep! And I don’t want to wake up! You wonder why some days I’m mad, why I’m fuming with so much rage sometimes I can scarcely breathe, so much that my blood boils with fury, its not just because I don’t like Mondays, or that I hate school or that I can’t stand my mother but it’s because I’m angry! I’m angry that even woke up!” Sienna screamed then saw the look of horror on Candice’s face and laughed.

“Now Dr. Greene, aren’t you glad we had our little therapy chat? Don’t you feel so much better about yourself?” she cooed. Candice just shook her head and gulped back tears and ran out of the room quite possibly crying.

“Trust me, honey, its better this way.” Sienna said to no one in particular and buried herself under her sheets again, soaking her pillow with tears. She hated the world. She hated everything and everyone around her but most of all she hated herself and couldn’t stand to watch someone care for her. She fell in to a deep slumber once again thanks to her meds but it wasn’t long before she felt someone shaking her shoulder. That Candice was like a yapping little Chihuahua that just couldn’t let go.

“Leave me alone.” She murmured groggily.

“For goodness sake, Candice get a freakin’ hobby! Go away!” she yelled as someone prodded her in the back again. She sat up angrily frowning then her eyes widened in shock and she clutched her sheets closer to her as she realized who it was.

“Logan…” she gasped softly.

“Get up, and get dressed. We’re going out.” He told her austerely.

“But I’m tired.” She replied blankly and ran her fingers through her mussed hair.

“Tough shit. Get out of bed.”

“No. I’m not going anywhere with you.” She refuted adamantly.

“Out.” He barked and whipped off her covers. Sienna wore nothing but a light pink silk chemise nightdress and quickly crossed her arms over her chest blushing, wishing she had worn her flannel pajamas or at least a bra.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized suddenly probably coming to the same conclusion and turned around looking flustered and out of place…and not at all like the cocky smooth Logan he usually was. He handed Sienna her white night robe with his back still turned, which she snatched from him in annoyance and put it on.

“What happened to the days where you wore nothing but Winnie the Pooh pajamas?” he asked wryly as he picked up a bottle of her pills.

“In case you haven’t realized I’m not twelve years old.” She hissed and took it from his hands and put it away from his prying eyes.

“Oh I’ve noticed.” He muttered under his breath.

“I want you to leave.”

“Oh I will, just not without you. So hurry up and scoot birthday girl. We’ve got a lot of talking to do. What you thought I forgot?” he asked quietly with his back turned as he walked over to her window and examined her widow’ walk. She had thought that. In her defense everybody else had. 

“How did you even get in here?”

“The window.”

“What?”

“No of course not. I walked in through the front door.”

“How romantic.” She muttered as she left the room to get dressed. She could’ve sworn she heard him chuckle as she left for the bathroom. She returned showered, and fully dressed just moments later only to find Logan in deep conversation with Annabelle. The smarter half of herself screamed at her to kick him out of her house, but as she watched him pick up the photo frame she had of her and Annie as kids, and the way he looked at the picture and the girls inside, she was suddenly enraptured by curiosity.

“Oh hey.” Annie greeted as she saw Sienna watching the two of them laughing from the door. “You ready to go?” Logan asked suddenly looking rather nervous probably because she looked stunning in that understated way in her floral print Bardot skater dress. Annie looked back and forth between the two who for a small moment spoke silently without words.

“So…are you two back together or…?”

“No,” Sienna quickly replied.

“It’s complicated.” Logan sputtered out synchronously.

“You’ll understand when you’re a little older.” He sighed and scratched his head.

“I understand pretty well. I’m twelve, not blind.”

“Mom and Cora are staying over at Uncle George’s house for the weekend before dropping me off to space camp which means that Candice is definitely going to be staying out late doing I can’t even imagine what and as you know Meredith is still at college.” She said with her head down as she idly flicked through Candice’s Cosmogirl magazine.

“What are you saying Annie?” Sienna asked confusedly as if her sister were insinuating something.

“The house is all yours tonight.” She said nonchalantly as she turned a page.

“Annie! Don’t be…we’re not anything!” Sienna gulped embarrassedly, her cheeks turning a light pink shade that Logan always liked on her. Logan just tried to hide his smile with his hand at Sienna’s mortified reaction.

“Uh huh.”

“Oh G
od, she really is your sister.” Sienna hissed to Logan quietly.

“Don’t look at me. Space camp? That’s you written all over.” He chuckled as they quickly left. “Where are we even going?” Sienna asked only after they were in Logan’s car and on the road. She silently reminded herself not to get in to cars with teenage boys however cute or whatever history she had with them without finding out where he was taking her to first.

“We’re almost there.” He replied quietly as the Mustang drew nearer and nearer to its destination.

“Are you kidding me? Is this some sick joke?” Sienna sputtered out. Her stomach turned as Logan drove past the entrance of the psychiatric wing of the Haven Falls General Hospital.

“Sienna, calm down. We’re not going there. We’re just going to see some of my friends.” He said as he drove in to the parking lot and parked his car.

“I can’t go there. I can’t go back.” she started whispering anxiously and began shaking her head, her perfect tears streaked her cheeks. 

“I can’t.” She cried looking around anxiously making him wonder what on earth happened during her stay there.

“Sienna, Sienna, calm down, okay? It’s okay. Shhhh, it’s okay. Look at me. You’re okay. You’re safe.” He said soothingly and held her face in his hands.

“Okay.” She exhaled and closed her eyes and breathed holding on to his arms feeling her anxiety slowly fading away. She opened her eyes and felt her heart pound a little faster but for a different reason as he tucked her hair behind her ear affectionately his light touches sending chills down her body.

“Don’t touch me.” She said quietly and moved his hands away from her and got out of the car. If he was stung by her rejection, he didn’t show it.

“What are we doing here Logan? I feel…uneasy.” She mumbled hesitantly as she stumbled apprehensively after him in the oncology floor in to the Jackson-West Children’s Cancer Trust Unit. The door was locked but someone seemed to buzz them in.
Cancer
. Everything, everywhere, everyone screamed cancer at her in one form or the other. Everywhere she looked she saw pamphlets, posters, kids small as Annie wandering around in their hospital gowns with their teddy bears clutched in their hands and their IV drips still in their arms. Its not like it was a picture of death, no rather the children although were obviously sick seemed rather content and not writhing in pain like she had expected, which was a bit of a reality check for Sienna.

“Hey Logan!” a small bald kid who couldn’t be more than twelve years old yelled as he sprinted over to them clearly excited to see him.

“Hey man. How’s the chemo going?” he asked and bumped fists.

“Got my second round tonight. It sucks man but it could be worse.”

“Hang in there man. I-“

“Danny!” a blond woman yelled from the hallway where she stood next to a couple of nurses and a doctor cutting Logan’s words short.

“That’s my mom. I gotta go.” The kid grimaced clearly not wanting to leave Logan’s company much to Sienna’s bewilderment.

“See you later man.” he said and squeezed his shoulder and began walking down the hallway. “Logan, how do you know that kid?” she asked curiously as she followed him.

“Hey, wait here a sec, okay?” he told her completely evading her question as he quickly entered a hospital room and shut the door behind him leaving her standing in the hallway awkwardly looking around at the patients surrounding her. The first thing she noticed was all the families, all the moms and dads walking around hand in hand. There was a lot hugging, a lot of love and warmth. She couldn’t help but stare and watch the kid, Danny continued to crack jokes and made his mother burst in to peals of laughter, whilst his father’s hand never left his shoulder almost as if he were afraid to let go. They cherished each other and as petty as it was Sienna couldn’t help but feel the slightest tinge of envy. Here were kids young as five, six years old playing with Lego bricks in the activities room, boys and girls alike with their heads shaved, their skin pale and sallow, clearly ill but yet so full of life and love as they giggled with one another as innocent children did. Then there were the slightly older teenagers who didn’t say much and stared at her as they walked past. Sienna looked away realizing she had been gawping like a fool for too long and slipped in to the large room that was divided in to different sections parted by curtains. Sienna kept her head down shyly and tried to follow the sound of Logan’s voice. She cornered around a set of partially closed blue curtains and saw a young pretty girl tucked in bed, lying against her pillows whispering something to Logan she couldn’t quite make out. He nodded to her and kissed her forehead tenderly. She was thin and small, her skin infinitely flawless and porcelain and dark eyes that matched the long black wig she wore and had a tube under her nose.

“She’s a lot prettier than I’d imagined.” She said giddily with a small smile as once she spotted Sienna lurking behind.
Busted
.  Logan jerked his head back to see her.