Breaking Hearts (B-Boy #2) (8 page)

Chapter 14

I waited a couple days before I was brave enough to print out my pictures and waited a few more before I scrounged up enough courage to show Jacob.

“Stop being a pussy. Stop being a pussy,” I muttered to myself as I searched through the Student Commons for any sign of funky music or even a glimpse of his chiseled jawline.

For some reason, the building was pretty crowded that day, and as I barreled and shoved my way in between the crowd of students, I was becoming more and more frustrated. There was no way I’d find Jacob at this rate. After being pushed back a few times I was ready to give up my search when I heard a trumpet solo coming from one of the rooms. The distinct scream of the horn filled the air, garnering a smile from me.

“Jackpot,” I whispered, quickly running down an adjacent hallway. I skidded to a stop before ramming into the closed door and quietly pushed it open in time to catch Jacob practicing his signature head spin. Not wanting to distract him, I snuck inside and closed the door softly behind me. Apparently it wasn’t soft enough because Jacob soon came tumbling down in a heap, crashing onto the floor face first.

“Shit!” I yelped, rushing forward. “Jacob, are you okay?”

“Yeah, believe me I’ve had worse.” He rolled into a seated position with his legs stretched out in front of him and scratched his head. I extended my hand, and without hesitation he grabbed onto it, jumping to his feet. The feeling of his skin against mine caused a rush of heat to flow to my core. It was hard to explain, but somehow feeling him made my body feel a bit more whole.

Without letting go of my hand, he eyed me closely, his eyebrows pulled together tight. “What are you doing here? Don’t tell me my music is too loud again.”

The pictures in my other hand felt like hot coal had burned a hole through my skin. Feeling the urge to run away yet again, I instinctively dropped my other hand from his grip and was a bit surprised and disappointed to find myself feeling empty once again. I bowed my head and stammered, “No…I…uh…”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Um, I actually wanted to show you these.” The words flew out of my mouth quickly, mashing together. I held up the prints and fanned them in the air wildly. “We have a project for my photography class and I decided my theme would be Motion and Emotion. I was hoping you could take a look at them and tell me what you think—for a critique! A critique, I mean…”

I was beyond pathetic.

He shot me a perplexed look but the smile never left his face. “Okay, but I’m far from artistic. I don’t think I’ll be any help.”

“I doubt that,” I offered lamely. I handed him my pictures and stepped back, wincing as he flipped through them—slowly. After a few moments of silence, I felt as if I were about to combust. “So…what do you think?”

No answer.

The seconds felt as if they stretched on for eternity. I bit my lip, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Though his unwillingness to answer felt painful enough, what he did end up saying left me feeling completely obliterated.

“These are terrible.”

“What?” I felt my heart deflate. Where was that rock I could hide under when I needed it?

“They’re wrong. All wrong.” He took a step in my direction and I had to make a conscious effort not to cower in embarrassment. His calloused hand grabbed onto mine, flipping it over so that my palm faced up. I was too confused to realize that Jacob was holding my hand again, but my body certainly felt the difference.

Without a word he placed the pile of pictures onto my palm.

Curling my fingers over, I gazed at the glossy photos and shook my head sadly. What I was once so proud of might as well have been wadded up pieces of trash. “What exactly is wrong with them?” I asked meekly.

He nodded his head and crossed his arms firmly across his chest. “Exactly.”

My eyes bugged out. “Um, come again? I’m confused.”

He leaned over and tapped at the top photo on the pile, its glossy paper reflecting the light of the fluorescent light bulb, which shined above his head like a halo. God, he looked like an angel.

“What do you see when you look at this?” His voice interrupted my thoughts.

My cheeks quickly warmed. “A picture of you doing a freeze.”

“Exactly!”

I rubbed my forehead and sighed. Understanding his critique was even harder than understanding the photography class. “Jacob, what are you trying to say? You’re totally not making any sense.”

His dark eyes softened. “Estelle, anybody can take a picture of some random object, but not everybody can take a picture of a breaker.”

“And I guess I’m the latter,” I whispered glumly. I gazed at the photo and frowned. The photo was actually one of my favorites, capturing Jacob in his signature head spin. In my opinion it was framed perfectly and captured his good side…not that he had a bad one…and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was wrong with it. I bit my lip and looked up at him anxiously. “Can I ask you something then?”

“Sure.”

“How do you take a picture of a b-boy?”

He scrunched up his mouth and shrugged. “It’s not something I can really teach you.”

“Well, that doesn’t help me out much.” I laughed weakly and began to close my fingers tightly around the photographs, feeling the material wrinkle.

Jacob’s hand shot out quickly. “Don’t ruin them.”

I looked at him as if he had just grown two heads. “But you said—”

“Keep them as an example of what not to do.”

Okay, that was a bit harsh.

Before I could respond, he quickly added, “Taking photos of breaking isn’t like taking any other kind of picture. To capture breakdancing, a photographer must immerse himself…er, herself in the music just as much as the dancer does. You said the purpose of this project was to capture emotion, right?”

“Yeah.” Among other things.

“Well, to put it bluntly, that’s one thing you didn’t do with these photos.”

“I…I thought I did,” I stammered. Frowning down at the top print, I frowned. “How do you capture emotion?”

“How?” he repeated, chuckling at my perplexed expression. He bit his lip in thought and grinned. “I’ll tell you what. Come to a few of my practices and I’ll try to show you what I mean. I’m not much of a photographer or anything, but at least I can point you in the right direction when it comes to dancing.”

I gulped. More time with Jacob? This was supposed to help us be friends, right?

“Estelle? Did you hear me?”

I nodded quickly and grabbed at my throat, which suddenly felt parched. “Yeah!” I cleared my throat and lowered my voice. “Wow! I mean, yes. That sounds good. Thank you.”

He grinned. “Perfect. But the way, Joe will be happy you’re actually taking him up on his offer.”

“Wait, what?” I shook my head quickly. “This is just for a project! I didn’t say anything about taking Joe up on anything.”

“Stop right there.” He reached out and pressed a finger against my mouth. Though I was sure his intentions were nothing but to shut me up, I couldn’t ignore how intimate the act felt. A shiver ran up and down my spine. “All that insecurity you’re spewing out is exactly why your pictures won’t turn out well.”

“Insecurity?” I repeated, feeling slightly disappointed when he dropped his finger from my lips.

“Stop thinking of this as ‘just a project.’ If you look at the bigger picture—no pun intended—you might be surprised to see what you’re capable of.”

I refrained from telling him that I was actually quite proud of my capabilities before he criticized them. It wasn’t as if he volunteered the information, I asked him for it. Keeping my eyes on the photos, I asked, “When’s your practice?”

“You free tomorrow night?”

Hearing him say those words did something strange to my stomach. I nodded slowly. “Yes.”

Always free for you.

His mouth stretched out into yet another devilish grin. “See you then.”

Chapter 15

Jacob told me to meet him in the Performing Arts Building at six the next evening during his friends’ bi-weekly session, and needless to say, I was freaking out about it all day. I went about my classes like a zombie and if I were asked exactly what I learned that day, I wouldn’t be able to answer. My body may have been in class but my mind was definitely with a hot dancer.

Besides obvious reasons, I was also a bit apprehensive about intruding on practice, but Jacob assured me that anyone was welcome to join in.

“Does that include Shawn?” I joked.

Jacob laughed. “After I smoked him in the Battle of Five last year, I’m sure he’d rather avoid me as much as possible.”

“What’s the Battle of Five?” I asked.

“It’s just a really big battle that’s held once a year. There are five judges, five rounds in each battle, and five…well you get the idea. It’s a pretty big deal.”

I couldn’t imagine any battle being bigger than the first one I attended, nor could I imagine spending the next evening stuck in a room with Jacob and all his friends. I thought about inviting Anna along with me, but after our embarrassing blowout the other day, I decided to keep my distance as much as possible, which was pretty easy to do since her mouth was permanently attached to her boyfriend’s lips.

The cool AC blew against my neck as I entered the huge building, reminding me of Jack Frost’s kiss. I shivered and pulled my cardigan tighter against my chest, rubbing my arms to keep warm. No wonder ballerinas always wore leg warmers. If all dance studios were this cold, they’d need layers to keep them from getting hypothermia.

Though Jacob had given me detailed directions on how to navigate through the confusing hallways and staircases—seriously, it reminded me of a certain wizardry school—I found I didn’t need them. The loud hollering coming from the floor above me acted as my beacon.

“This is it. Time to stop being so scared all the time.” I gulped as I took a step up the staircase, gripping the railing as if my life depended it on it. My palms were clammy and slid up the metal railing, feeling slick and disgusting. With each step I took, the music grew louder and the cheers more intense. Accompanying the noise was the loud beating of my heart.

“Okay, Estelle. They’re just people. Nothing to be afraid of.” Was I really sure about that? I shook my head and sighed. “Let’s do this.”

With a few more silent affirmations, I pushed the door open and stepped inside, surprised to find such a small number of dancers. From the noises I heard, I expected there to be around thirty people crammed into the tiny dance studio, not the five who were scattered around the room looking as if they were having the time of their lives. I pressed myself against the farthest wall, trying to remain inconspicuous and took a moment to glance around. I recognized a few dancers including Arrow, Crimson, and that one girl, Gemma. My heart burned slightly when I realized she was sitting rather close to Jacob. Protégé or not, this girl was definitely as interested in him as I was. The only difference was, she had more of an advantage.

“Estelle!” Jacob greeted, jumping to his feet. Gemma’s face folded into one of surprise, but she immediately stood up and followed closely behind, eyeing me with curiosity.

“Hey,” I replied, praying my face didn’t reflect the nerves I felt inside. “I hope I’m not bothering you guys.”

“Does it look like you’re bothering us?” Jacob pulled me into a side hug, surprising me. His fingers pressed into the top of my shoulders, wrapping me in his cocoon. I stifled a satisfied sigh and merely smiled in greeting.

As soon as Jacob released me, Gemma was right in my face.

“Hi.” Her voice was tiny and exactly what I’d expect from someone so petite. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Gemma.”

“Estelle.” I gripped my camera as if it were a life preserver. “Just here to shoot.”

There was no mistaking the look of relief that flooded her face. With an invisible sigh of relief, she grinned. “Did Joe recruit you? I swear he’s as charismatic as they come. He could easily sell ice to an Eskimo.”

“Um, no, it’s actually for a project. Jacob’s helping me figure things out. According to him my first roll was pretty terrible.”

She threw her head back and laughed before reaching up to ruffle Jacob’s hair playfully. “He was never known for his ability to keep his mouth shut.”

My eyes darkened with envy. “No, definitely not.”

Jacob playfully shoved Gemma away. “Okay, E.”

“E?”

“We all have nicknames around here. Do you think Crimson’s mother gave him that name?” he joked.

“Nah, but his flow is as painful as it is to a uterus,” Gemma snickered.

“Shut the fuck up, Gemma. I heard that,” Crimson shot back, straightening himself.

“That’s what you get for naming yourself after a freaking period. No wonder women hate you so much,” she snapped.

Jacob rolled his eyes and looked back at me. “Don’t mind them. They kid around like this a lot.”

They were only kidding? What the hell was it like when they were actually fighting?

I let out a strained giggle and nodded helplessly. “Oh, yeah. Just a couple of jokesters, I see.”

Jacob threw me a strange look before clapping his hands together. “I guess now’s a good time as any to get started.” He paused and glanced around the room. “So I was thinking what you’ll do is just go about snapping pictures of whatever strikes your fancy. I’ll look over your shoulder and tell you what you’re doing wrong.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “So you assume I won’t do anything right?”

He grinned. “Oh, I know you won’t. Like I said, photographing breaking is an art form all its own. It doesn’t happen overnight.”

“You know what else doesn’t happen overnight? A penchant for photography. Who am I kidding? I’m a lost cause. I should have known better than take this stupid class,” I practically wailed.

“Confidence.”

I frowned. “What?”

“Confidence. That’s your first lesson. If you think you’re going to suck, then you will. However, if you truly believe in yourself then you’ll be quite happy with the outcome.”

“You should become a motivational speaker,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Luckily Jacob only laughed.

“Give it time, E. I promise you’ll get better. Besides, confidence is really sexy.”

A blush spread across my cheek as his eyes bored into mine. Fortunately, before I could do anything stupid, he tore his gaze away, giving me room to exhale quietly.

If things continue the way they do, I’m going to pass out before the night is over
, I thought wryly.

“Lady and gentlemen!” Jacob called out. “This is Estelle—you can call her E.”

I couldn’t help but snort, catching his attention. I smiled apologetically and quickly shut my mouth.

He nodded once. “She’ll be taking photos for a project of hers, so don’t mind her and just continue doing what you always do.”

“Just make sure you capture my good side!” Arrow joked, causing everyone to laugh.

“What good side? The doctor who delivered you was the one who cried when you were born.” another b-boy I’d never met before shot back, leading to even louder laughter.

Jacob chuckled and glanced over at me. “Well, since you’ll be photographing them, you might as well meet the crew, eh?”

I shrugged. “I guess.”

“This is Arrow.” He pointed to the familiar b-boy, whose golden brown hair fell in wisps around his face. I wasn’t sure if he was showing off or not, but he immediately fell into a weird pose that would have made Gumby proud. I couldn’t help but cringe as I watched him pull his leg behind him, gripping it tightly with his forearm.

Jacob continued his walk around the room and pointed to a caramel-skinned boy with shoulder-length hair, who merely flicked his wrist toward me as greeting. “That guy over there is Rodriguez.” Turning, he motioned toward a tall boy with dreads. “That jokester over there is Pharaoh.”

I lifted my hand and smiled shyly. The nickname ‘E’ seemed so boring compared to their cool monikers.

Jacob reached out and lightly pushed me forward. “What are you doing? Go on and take your pictures.”

Instead of replying, as I once again lost my ability to speak, I merely nodded and made my way around the room, feeling as if I were stumbling through the dark. I initially felt a bit self-conscious, snapping photos of people I hardly knew. However, it only took a few minutes before I found myself relaxing. None of the dancers seemed to mind my gigantic camera in their faces. In fact, I think my presence egged them on. They certainly looked as if they were having a lot of fun dancing.

I lifted my camera and peered through the viewfinder. As my fingertip brushed against the button I felt a rush of warm air on the crook of my neck. I shuddered in shock and excitement once I realized Jacob was peering over my shoulder. The shock only magnified when I felt his chin lightly resting on my shoulder.

“No, no, no. That’s all wrong,” he mumbled.

Okay, that excitement was short-lived. I shut my eyes tightly and threw my head back, forgetting how close he was. I jerked forward once I felt my head brush against his shoulders, giving myself whiplash. He gently took the camera out of my hand, but left the strap around my neck. Leaning into me, he tinkered with it until my latest photo was displayed on the tiny LCD screen.

“What do you see here?” he asked.

“It’s Rodriguez doing a…um…hollowback,” I murmured, trying hard to recall the different poses I had Googled the night before. It was a bit hard to concentrate knowing that Jacob was pressed up against me. It was even harder to concentrate knowing the object of my affection was about to tear me down.

“And what else?” he asked calmly.

“What else is there?” I shot back in exasperation. Jacob opened his mouth to reply but I quickly cut him off. “If you say, ‘exactly’ again I am going to punch you in the face.”

Gemma overhead and laughed. “Do it! His Majesty does need to come back down to earth every now and then.”

Despite her slight jab, the look of seriousness did not leave Jacob’s face. “Okay, I guess I should be more specific. Tell me, what direction is this photo taken from?”

I lifted my hand to scratch my forehead, but found it awkward to do so given the position we were in. Any movement would lead me to, um, touch his butt. I gulped and squeaked, “Well I’m facing him, if that’s what you mean.”

“Facing him where?”

“His back.”

“Ex—” I shot him an irritated look to which he corrected, “Precisely.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help laugh. “I take it that it’s wrong?”

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, you could say that.”

A shooting pain began to pulse on the back of my neck, shooting up the crown of my head and culminating between my eyebrows. “Ugh, I’m never going to get this right. Maybe I should just take pictures of stupid flowers. At least I know what direction to shoot them at.”

“Okay, let me explain it in a way you might understand.” Gently handing me back the camera, he lifted his hands as if he were a conductor at the symphony. It was the first time I realized he loved speaking with his hands.

I wonder what else he likes to do with his hands.

“Mind out of the gutter,” I berated myself in disgust.

“What was that?” he asked, gazing back at me curiously.

“Nothing,” I replied quickly. “Just asking you to explain further.”

Looking at me with doubt, he took a moment before speaking. “Think of a painting. Would you hang a painting backwards? Would you look at it from the back of the canvas?”

“Of course not.”

“Ex—precisely. Capturing a freeze like you did here is doing exactly that. Breaking is like a painting. As dancers we strive to portray a message.” He gestured to me. “An emotion. You can’t get that by capturing someone’s back.”

I nodded my head slowly, finally understanding what he meant. “Okay, I think I get what you’re saying.”

He continued to explain, “What you want to do is capture that certain feeling. You need to encompass the emotion from the audience, the b-boy, and most importantly, you.”

“Me? How can I do that? I’m behind the camera.”

“And a painter only holds the paintbrush,” he replied. “Yet, when you look at the
Mona Lisa
you can’t help but smile along with her.”

“I’m far from Da Vinci,” I said with amusement.

“Well, he had to start somewhere, correct?” He turned and called out for Rodriguez. “Hey dude, can you do that exact same run again?”

“Sure.” Rodriguez walked to the center of the room and wiped the sweat off his face. On cue, his feet began to shuffle, moving quickly from side to side.

Jacob looked back at me. “I want you to take that picture again only this time think about what I just told you. Think about the crowd, the dancer, and most importantly, think about you. What do you want this picture to say?”