Breaking Hearts (B-Boy #2) (7 page)

Chapter 12

I was so jazzed up from my run in with Jacob that I was dying to share the news with anybody. Of course the only person I could speak to was Anna, and truth be told, I still had my reservations about her.

It didn’t matter if I told her either way. It wasn’t as if I saw her enough to have a chance to. She was always hanging out with Lucas, and even began sleeping over at his apartment. I couldn’t say that I really cared. I mean, I was used to being somewhat of a loner. Besides, the solitude gave me ample time to fidget around with my DSLR. By the time my next class rolled around I was feeling far less apprehensive and dare I say, even confident.

The next weekend I walked into the classroom with a small smile on my face. Opting to sit closer to the front this time, I chose a center seat, ready to show the world what I could do. Just as I was about to make myself comfortable, a movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention.

“Hey, Ellie. Glad you decided to show up today. I’m actually surprised you’re here. You looked ready to quit when I saw you last,” David said as he took the seat beside me.

“If I were being honest, I’m probably just as surprised as you are.” I patted my camera and turned toward him. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you some photography guru or something? You seem pretty confident.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “Nah. I’m just your run of the mill boring guy.”

“Boring?” I shook my head. “I doubt that.”

“Why?” His eyes twinkled.

“Nobody’s ever really boring. There’s always something interesting about everyone.”

He shook his head. “Not me.”

“Oh, come on,” I prodded. “There has to be something about you.”

I leaned over with interest. Had I any common sense, I would have seen that the gesture seemed somewhat flirtatious. Oh well, things always seem clearer in hindsight.

He made a smacking sound with his mouth and clucked, “Nah, I wish. There just hasn’t been anything that holds my interest long enough. It’s not for lack of trying or anything, but more so lack of passion.”

“Passion?” I gazed down at my camera and had to laugh. “Well, if taking this class is about passion then I certainly can guarantee that I’ll be dropping out soon.”

“It’s only been one class.” He licked his thumb and began wiping at a fingerprint on the side of his camera. “I know what you mean, though. I’m basically taking this class to find my niche, which I assume you’re doing as well?”

“I guess you can say that.” Too bad I felt as if I’d never find my niche in the world.

David’s eyes glazed over thoughtfully. “I wish I was like my roomie. He has it all figured out in the hobby department. It’s pretty cool actually.”

Before I could ask him what his roommate did that was so awesome, our teacher walked into the room. David automatically zipped his lips and gazed at the young woman as she took her seat. I held back a laugh as I watched his gaze follow her hungrily.

“Looks like you’re passionate about something,” I teased.

“What are you talking about?” he whispered, never looking away from the woman.

I nodded and grinned. “Aw, a little schoolboy crush. It’s okay, I know how it is.”

He leaned toward me and winked. “You have no idea. Like a lost puppy dog.”

I smirked. He really had no idea how well I could relate.

***

By the end of class I found I was actually enjoying myself. Our little group took a field trip to the main lawn and snapped photos of flowers and different trees. David stuck by my side like glue, which I was most grateful for. In fact, it took me no time to realize how funny David could be, which made the class that much more enjoyable.

I adjusted the lens of my camera and noticed our young teacher walking straight across my focal point. She didn’t look but a few years older than me and was very stylish in a hipster sort of way. She took a few steps on the freshly watered glass and paused in front of another student to help him with his camera. With a slight snicker, I elbowed David in the ribs. “Hey, maybe you should pretend you don’t know what you’re doing. Looks like it’ll help you score some time with her.”

“Pretend?” He snorted and shook his head. “In this case there is no need for me to pretend. I’m completely lost.”

“That means less acting.”

He grinned and shook his head. “How about you? Do you have some professor you’re going gaga over? An Ezra to your Aria?”

“Whoa! I’m impressed. I would not have pegged you as someone who—”

“Watches teeny bopper shows?” He threw his head and laughed. “Trust me, I hate that I know this stuff. My ex made me sit through four whole seasons of it. Hate to admit it, but by the fourth season I was hooked.”

“Then maybe you know who A is.” I lifted the camera to my right eye and snapped a few photos. “And to answer your question, no. I do not have some hot ass teacher I’m pining after.”

Just a hot ass dancer.

“No boyfriend either?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Apparently my roommate thinks I have an uncanny inability to speak with the opposite sex.”

“You’re speaking to me.”

My mouth dropped open as I lowered my camera. “Oh my gosh! You’re male! I totally didn’t notice.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny.”

I winked. “You’re actually really easy to speak to. You even make this class fun. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Any time.”

“Listen up!” the teacher called out, interrupting us.

I leaned forward and whispered, “Maybe she’s going to proclaim her love for you.”

“Shut up,” David snapped, but there was no mistaking the laughter in his voice.

I snickered and gazed back at our instructor. My smile instantly fell when I caught the hint of mischief on her curled lips. “Uh, oh.”

“What?” David asked, never taking his eyes off the petite blonde.

“I know that look on her face. She’s about to drop a bombshell on us.”

“And how would you know that?”

I grimaced. “Trust me. With a roomie like mine, you learn to recognize it.”

Our professor clapped her hands together in excitement. Too bad she seemed to be the only one jumping in jubilation. “Since you all seem to be quite familiar with your cameras now, what do you say to some homework?”

Everyone around us groaned. Okay, I’ll be honest. I may have let out a helpless yelp myself.

“Homework? This isn’t even a credited course!” a student yelled.

Our teacher smiled. “Practice makes perfect, right? I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you six weeks to come up with a premise for a photography project. We can fine tune your skills until then, but by the end of next month I want to see at least five shots of the same theme. You pick the theme. It can be whatever you want.”

“We’re just beginners and you expect us to have a theme?” a deep voice shouted from the back. “I just learned how to shoot flowers!”

“Then shoot flowers,” our teacher responded coyly.

I turned and saw the bearded student shake his head angrily, muttering, “What a bitch, dude.”

“Hey, I’m a firm believer that you learn faster when under fire. Besides, I’m giving you six whole weeks. That’s five more classes. You’ll have ample time to perfect your abilities until then and I’ll of course give you time to work on your projects at the end of each class. That way if you need help, you can ask me.” The woman didn’t lose the smug expression on her face. Oh, to be that confident and brave.

I shut my eyes and groaned. For one, I never ever ask teachers for help. It was against my nature. Second, what the hell was I going to do my project on?

Our teacher seemed rather oblivious to the turmoil she had just inflicted on her students. Smiling broadly, she clapped her hands together again. “Now get to work.”

My shoulders sagged forward in defeat. “What the hell? How the heck am I going to take five good pictures when I keep messing up each one I take? I seriously take one good one in every twenty shots!”

David looked at me in curiosity. “Hit a creative block?”

“More like a creative wall!” I threw my head back and groaned. “I just became comfortable shooting fucking bushes and she expects me to come up with something artsy?” I let out another exasperated sigh. “Remind me why I’m putting myself through this again.”

“To find your niche,” he replied good-naturedly.

“At the moment it still doesn’t scream photography,” I grumbled. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

He shook his head. “Nope. Good thing this isn’t for a grade, right?”

“Just public ridicule.” I pressed my thumb against my forehead and frowned. “This is going to suck.”

David nudged me teasingly. “Oh, ye of little faith. If you hit a block just call me up. Maybe we can work on it together.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I think this is something I have to work on, on my own.”

“How come?”

I shrugged. “Just something I want to do for myself, that’s all. I’m sick of always riding someone’s coat tails, you know?”

“Well, my offer still stands. Call me up if you need any help.”

“I don’t even have your number.”

David smiled. “We’ll fix that.”

As we exchanged numbers I couldn’t help but notice how easy it was interacting with David. There were no involuntary palpitations of my heart, unstoppable word vomit, or unexplained muteness. It was effortless. Then again, it wasn’t as if I was attracted to him in any way.

“Yup, that’s gotta be it,” I blurted out.

“What’s gotta be it?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head quickly. “Absolutely nothing.”

I liked it that way.

Chapter 13

I spent the next week with my camera around my neck. Heck, I even slept and ate with it near me. If it were waterproof I probably would have showered with it too.

“You ever taking that thing off?” Anna asked as we headed out one morning.

“Not until I figure out what I have to do for my project.” I grumbled with irritation. What started off as a great way to explore my interests had suddenly become something I loathed.

“Why don’t you just quit that class? It’s not as if you’ll get an incomplete or anything.”

“Absolutely not. I’m sick of being scared all the time. I need to present this project and be done with it…regardless of whether people like it or not.” If only I felt as confident.

Anna threw me a perplexed look, but then shrugged. “Whatever. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yeah, see you later,” I mumbled, walking in the opposite direction.

Introduction to British Literature wasn’t due to start for another hour so I figured I’d walk around campus in the hopes that inspiration would hit me. At the risk of looking like a creeper, I snapped every photo I could get, but there were none that remotely stood out as a “premise.”

Feeling a bit knocked down, I walked toward the commons to grab a cup of coffee, hoping to sulk away my insecurities with a steaming cup of java. I took my place in line when once again I heard the unmistakable sound of funk. Immediately forgetting my thirst, I rushed over to the opposite end of the building where a few b-boys had laid out a piece of cardboard. A crowd had already begun to gather around the dancers, but I somehow managed to find a prime spot by the side. Without realizing what I was doing, I looked around for Jacob and felt the familiar jump of my heart when I saw him take the floor. I quickly lifted my camera and began snapping pictures of his routine.

I must have taken around thirty shots during his one minute run. There was just something about the way he danced that mesmerized me. He exuded so much emotion that it was hard not to become captivated by the way his body moved. Contrary to what I had thought before, Jacob didn’t just sex the air, he made love to it. He made love to the music and even made love to the crowd.

After he jumped off the cardboard floor, it looked as if he were about to turn in my direction. My first instinct was to freak out and before I knew what I was doing, I quickly made my exit. As I rushed away, gripping my camera with pure giddiness, I couldn’t help but shake my head. It figured that it would take Jacob to inspire me.

“This is definitely my project,” I thought with a smile.

***

“Oh my gosh! Did you really turn all paparazzi on me?” Anna appeared over my shoulder, causing me to yelp out in surprise.

“Can you please stop doing that?” I hissed, attempting to block my computer screen.

“Sorry. Bad habit.” She shook her head in disapproval as she pushed my arms away from my computer and eyed the thumbnails that littered the screen. “I think you need an intervention.”

“What the heck are you even talking about? Maybe you need someone to tell you to stop creeping up all the time. Seriously, you’re going to give me a heart attack one day!”

Anna rolled her eyes and wagged an accusatory finger at me. “You definitely need an intervention for this.” She motioned toward my computer. “Your crush on Jacob is going way too far. You’re turning all F.B.I. on him. Not to mention peeping tom.” Her mouth dropped open. “Wait, you don’t happen to have pictures of him at his dorm room, would you?”

“Are you being serious right now? Of course not!” I exclaimed in annoyance.

“Oh, too bad. I was going to ask you if I could see them.” She threw me a conspiratorial wink. “I don’t have to tell you how hot he looks with his shirt off.”

As much as I hated myself for it, I couldn’t help but feel a bit envious that Anna had somehow seen Jacob in all his shirtless glory when I still haven’t had the chance to.

I rolled my eyes and turned back toward my computer. “Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“I’m taken, not blind.” She nudged me playfully. “Anyway, I’m only kidding. What I am serious about is how creepy this all looks. I really think you might need some help.”

“It’s for my project,” I clarified. “Like I told you, the teacher wants us to take pictures of something that piques our interest.”

“And that something happens to be Jacob?” she asked with a grunt.

“Breakdancing piques my interest,” I corrected.

She rolled her eyes. “Right. I believe you.” She walked over to her bed and plopped down. “If it’s breaking that interests you, then why are all these pictures of Jacob, hmm?”

“I…uh…”

“Exactly,” she replied with a snort.

My cheeks warmed and I immediately glanced away, clicking my window closed. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get Anna to quit speaking as quickly as I could quit my photo editor.

“And what happens if Jacob somehow hears about these photos? You don’t think it’ll freak him out?”

“No.” I turned back around and stared her straight in the eyes. She wasn’t about to intimidate me; not anymore. “Because I’m going to show him the pictures myself.”

Anna’s eyes widened. “Okay, if I thought you were crazy before I was wrong. You have definitely jumped over to the loony side.”

“I’m serious!”

“I am too!” she protested. “What are you going to do? Go up to him and say, ‘Hey, I was taking secret pictures of you.’ Really, Estelle, that’s just grounds for a restraining order.”

“Joe said they could always use new photographers at the events. I’ll just tell Jacob I happened to walk by their…um…performance this morning and I have a few pictures he might be interested in.”

“And how do you expect to do that?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

She clicked her tongue against the edge of her front teeth in disapproval. “You either talk too much around him or you don’t talk to him at all,” she replied matter-of-factly.

“But see, I have the perfect solution for that.”

“Which is?”

Like a mad scientist sharing the results of his experiment, I leaned over with excitement. “I only get weird around guys I like, but around guys who are friends, I’m fine.”

“And how do you know this?”

“There’s this guy named David in my photography class—”

“David?” she raised an eyebrow. “Is he cute?”

“I guess.” I shrugged.

“What do you mean you guess? He either is or isn’t.”

I thought back to his curly blond hair and bright blue eyes. He definitely looked like a young Chris Hemsworth and it was a wonder why I never noticed how handsome he was before. Guess blonds weren’t really my thing. “Okay, fine. He really is good looking, but I don’t know what that has to do with anything.”

“Maybe I should be taking photography after all.” She curled her lips and nodded.

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, boy crazy, as I was saying, I figured out that I’m somewhat normal with boys I only consider as friends. Maybe if I forge a friendship with Jacob, my mouth will fare better.”

Anna raised an eyebrow. “Your mouth, eh?”

My cheeks reddened. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Sure.” She took a deep breath and patted me on the shoulder. “Estelle, stop lying to yourself. You’ll never be just friends with Jacob. You like him too much to think of him platonically.”

“So first I’m a creep and now you’re saying I’m a liar?” I spat out in irritation. “I need him to help me with my project. I need to be friends with him.”

Besides, maybe becoming his friend will help me out in another department…

“Estelle, I know what you’re trying to do and though I commend you for your bravery, don’t forget my warning. Jacob does not have time for women. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.”

“No, I’m not,” I insisted, sounding like a little kid. “Is it so hard to believe that I may just want to be friends with him?”

“Yes,” she snapped.

“And why is that?”

“Because of that!” she exclaimed, gesturing toward my computer. “You obviously like him a lot.”

“But—”

“No buts, Estelle. You may think you have me fooled, but I think the only one you’re fooling is yourself. Just stop it already.”

Knowing the conversation was leaning toward an argument, I decided to wave my imaginary white flag. “Anna, I know you’re looking out for me and believe me, I hear your warnings loud and clear. I really do appreciate it.”

“But?”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “I know there’s no way Jacob and I will be ‘Jacob-and-I.’ I really do want to try to see him as a friend and only a friend. I’m also trying to better my college experience, just like you told me to!” Realizing my voice was rising a few octaves, I immediately lowered it. “You can stop worrying now.”

“I’ll only stop worrying if you promise me that you’ll stop chasing after Jacob. He’s never going to change. He’s never going to give you the time of day. He’s had girls throwing themselves at him left and right, so—”

“So why should he go for me?” I finished for her, feeling my blood boil with irritation.

“That’s not what I was going to say,” she replied in a tone that was hard for me to believe.

“Fuck off, Anna.” So much for avoiding an argument. My temper had officially reached the point of no return. She gasped, but I did my best to ignore the hurt look on her face and continued to spew, “You may not believe me, but I can do this. Jacob seems like a sweet guy and given my situation, I can always use new friends.”

Anna frowned and crossed her arms. “Okay, what’s that supposed to mean?”

Before I could reply, my phone began to vibrate. Not wanting to acknowledge Anna’s question, I grabbed for it and read the text.

David: Not having any luck getting inspired. How are you holding up?

I couldn’t help but smile and quickly typed back:

Me: Think I found my project.

“Who’s that?” Anna asked.

Still feeling rather annoyed with her, I snapped, “It’s not Jacob, if you must know.”

“I was just making friendly conversation,” she replied coyly.

I pressed my lips, realizing if Anna and I weren’t thrust into the same room together, we’d probably never have been friends. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that we still had eight more weeks before our semester ended and I might as well make the best of it.

As much as it pained me, I replied, “It’s David. He was asking how my project is going—because you know, I do have the ability to make friends.”

“Ah, the infamous David. The one I’ve heard so much about.” The sarcasm dripped from her tone like venom.

“Seriously, Anna, I’m not in the mood.”

She held her hands up in mock surrender. “Just hear me out.”

I let out an exasperated groan. “What now?”

“All I’m saying is that no guy would just text you out of the blue. This David guy probably likes you.”

I shifted uneasily. “It’s not like that.”

“You sure about that?”

“Positive.” I felt my insides clench almost painfully and prayed Anna didn’t notice my slight twitch.

“Well, either way, maybe it’ll be healthier to set your sights on someone more attainable, because that—” she pointed to my computer screen “—is never going to happen.”

“Gee, thanks.”

She shrugged. “I’m a firm believer in tough love, and honey, you need it.”