Breathless (164 page)

I kissed a trail from her ear to her neck and then across her collarbone. Her nipples were hard as they pushed against the thin material of her night shirt. Unable to stop myself, I leaned down and bit one of them through her shirt. I loved rough sex, but I didn’t want to tell her that just yet. She was new to all of this, and I didn’t want to scare her. She moaned as my teeth clamped onto her nipple. I made sure not to bite too hard. There was a fine line between pleasure-inducing pain and straight pain. I released it almost instantly and flicked my tongue across it.

“Can I take off your shirt?” I asked, praying that she’d say yes. I had to go slow with her, or she’d freak out.

“Yes.”

I barely heard her whispered reply. I tugged the shirt up and over her head. I threw it on the floor next to the bed before turning my attention back to her.
God, she’s beautiful.
I kissed her softly on the mouth before cupping both breasts and rubbing my thumbs across them. She closed her eyes and moaned as I leaned back down and took first one and then the other into my mouth again. Instead of biting, I sucked on them. Her hips bucked as I rolled each one around with my tongue.

I released her nipple. “Do you like that?” She only nodded.

I ran my hand between her breasts, close enough to torture her, and then I moved down her stomach to the top of her underwear. Her boy shorts were a pale gray, and I could see just how turned-on she was by how soaked they were already. I slipped my thumbs under the waistband and started slowly pulling them down her legs.

She tensed for a split second. “Jesse…”

“Shh, I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to do, but I want to see you, all of you.”

She shuddered as I slipped them off her ankles and threw them on the floor with her shirt. I didn’t touch her as I stared down at her now fully naked body. Knowing that I was the only person who had ever seen her like this made me feel possessive. She was mine, and I wanted to keep it that way.

I reached between her legs and flicked her clit gently. She nearly came up off the bed as she cried out. I settled down in front of her as I pushed her knees apart.

“Is this okay?” I asked.

“Yes, just…”

“Just what?”

“Please touch me again.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I slipped my hand between her legs again and parted her with my fingers as my thumb started rubbing. My fingers were soaked instantly, and I nearly came right then and there. I pulled my hand away, knowing that I was about to lose control.

“Why did you stop?” She groaned.

Her legs were still spread wide open, screaming at me to take her. Normally, I never asked a girl if it was okay. If they were in a bed with me, I knew it was fine. With her, I couldn’t be sure.

“Emma, I have to stop.”

She propped herself up on her elbow. “What? Why? Did I do something wrong?”

The innocence in her statement made me groan. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just…I can’t go halfway with you again. I want inside you, and I don’t think you’re ready for that.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I want you so bad, and I’m not going to be able to control myself if we keep going.”

She studied me carefully. “You really care about me, don’t you?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“You do. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t waste your time on me if you thought you’d get nothing out of it.”

I leaned down and scooped up her clothes off the floor. “Here, put these back on.”

She took them from me and did something I hadn’t expected. She threw them as hard as she could against the far wall. She sat up on her knees, so she was mere inches away from me. “I trust you.”

I had no idea what she’d meant by that. Maybe she’d meant that she trusted me to control myself, but I didn’t. “I don’t.”

She smiled as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled our bodies tight against each other. We were both on our knees, and her heat was tight against the crotch of my shorts. I was in the best possible hell right now.

“You don’t have to trust yourself because I trust you not to hurt me. I want you, Jesse. I want my first time to be with you.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, still unsure of what to do. I didn’t want her to regret this later.

“I’m sure. You just have to be patient with me.” “I can do that.” I smiled at her.

She leaned back and pulled me with her as her back hit the bed.

“You trust me completely?” I asked one more time. I didn’t want her to stop me once I started.

“Completely.”

That was all I needed to hear. I held her hands above her head as I kissed her, working my way down her body. I ran my tongue down her stomach, heading to the place I wanted most. I pushed her legs apart and ran my tongue across her clit. The sound she made had me repeat the action. I did it over and over, tasting her as I went.
Fuck, she’s sweet.
Innocence poured out of her, and I savored every bit of it.

I sat up and replaced my tongue with my fingers. They slipped farther back until they were probing her entrance. I slipped one finger inside, feeling just how tight she was.
This is going to hurt like hell for both of us.

I slowly pushed another finger in, trying to loosen up her body a bit more. I looked up to watch her as I did so to make sure that I wasn’t hurting her, but she didn’t seem to be in pain. Instead, her head was thrown back in ecstasy. I wanted to make her come before we actually had sex. That way, she wouldn’t be as tight. I continued to push two fingers in and out as my other hand reached up and tweaked one of her nipples.

“Oh my god, Jesse. I can’t take anymore.”

“Shh, just let go.”

I ran my hand down her stomach to play with her clit again. As soon as I touched it, her body exploded. She cried out as she fisted the covers. Her internal muscles tightened around my fingers, and I damn near lost it again. I had no idea how I was going to be able to go slow when I pushed inside her.

I was barely hanging on by a thread now.

I stood as she quieted down, and I slipped off my shorts. I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a condom from inside. I turned back to her to see her staring at me with her mouth agape. The heat in her eyes was mixed with fear.

“Hey, we don’t have to do this, Emma. I mean it.”

“No, I want to. I’m just afraid that it’s going to hurt.”

“It will. I won’t lie to you. But I promise to be gentle.”

She nodded. “I trust you.”

I ripped open the package and put on the condom before walking back to the bed. I lay on top of her and started kissing her. I wanted her to relax, or this would never work. The kiss worked as I felt her body relax beneath me.

“Are you ready?” I whispered.

“Yes.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I positioned myself at her entrance.

“I’m going to go slow and give you time to adjust. If it starts to hurt, tell me, and I’ll stop.”

“Okay.”

I pushed in only an inch or two and stopped, giving her time to adjust. I started thrusting my hips slowly, barely moving, as I slipped in just a bit farther.
God, she feels good.
I had to stop when I’d made it a little farther in.

Between her heat and the tightness, I was ready to blow.

“You still doing okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. It hurts a little bit.”

“It will. I’m going as slow as I can.”

“I know.”

I started thrusting again, still barely moving, as I wedged myself deeper in.

I knew I couldn’t go any farther like this.

“Baby, I’m going to finish going in. This is the part where it hurts. You just have to relax for me, okay?”

“I’m ready.”

I was impressed at how relaxed she was keeping her body. I took a deep breath before thrusting fully into her. She cried out, and I felt like a bastard as tears sprung to her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just give me a minute.” She whimpered.

I held completely still as we waited together for the pain to pass. I didn’t want to cause her any more pain than I’d already had.

“I think I’m okay now. Just go slow for a minute, please,” she said.

“Okay.”

I leaned down and kissed her as I started moving my hips slowly. She was still tight, almost tight enough to cause me pain. I worked slowly, stretching her so that both of us were comfortable.

I worked her that way until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I
needed
to go faster. Instincts took over as I started thrusting harder and deeper, fighting my own body for control. She moaned as she wrapped her legs around my waist, allowing me to go deeper. I still held back, afraid that I would hurt her.

“Jesse, faster. I need it faster.”

I groaned as I started thrusting faster. I couldn’t keep this up much longer, but I didn’t want to come without her.

“I can’t hold back, baby. I have to go harder.”

“I’m okay. Go ahead.”

I let go, allowing pure instinct to take over, as I thrust hard and fast into her, over and over. She clung to me as she squeezed her legs tighter around me. Sweat dripped off of my nose and onto her, running down her cheek. Our bodies were both covered in sweat as we worked together. She screamed out my name as she came, and I let go. I gave one final thrust deep inside her as I came. Her muscles squeezed me until I wanted to scream in both pleasure and agony.

This girl was going to be the death of me.

I kept my weight on my elbows as my head dropped to her shoulder. I was exhausted, but I didn’t want to crush her.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I raised my head to look at her. “I think that’s supposed to be my line.”

She smiled. “Whoops, sorry.”

“I’m fine. That was fun.” I pulled out and rolled to my side.

“It was. Thank you for being so gentle with me. I know that had to be hard for you.”

“Not at all. I didn’t want to hurt you. I feel like an asshole for hurting you as much as I did.”

“You were as easy as you could be.”

I kissed her nose before I stood up. “I’ll be right back.” “Where are you going?” she asked.

“I need to clean up.”

I walked to the bathroom and threw the condom away. I made sure to wrap it in toilet paper, so no one would notice it. I grabbed a washcloth and wet it with warm water before returning to her room. She was still on the bed in the exact same spot that I’d left her in. Her eyes were closed, but she opened them as I nudged her legs apart and started wiping away the small amount of blood that was there.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

I threw the washcloth in the hamper in her room before lying down on the bed beside her. “No thanks needed.”

“I think I’m falling for you,” she said as she laid her head on my chest.

“I kind of figured that after you let me do
that
to you a few minutes ago.”

She propped herself up on her elbow and smacked my bare chest with her free hand. “That’s not what I meant. The deeper I get in with you, the harder I fall. I think I’m falling in love with you.”

For once in my life, I was speechless. I had no idea how to respond to that.
Do I care a lot about her? Damn straight. But do I love her? I have no idea.
The thought of loving someone scared me.

“You don’t have to say it back or anything. I just wanted you to know,” she said quietly.

“I’m not sure what to say. I’ve never even considered the possibility of loving someone. I care a lot about you, but I’m not sure I’m ready to say that to you.”

“I understand. If you ever do feel that way, please don’t hide it from me.

I promise that I won’t ever hurt you.”

I kissed her forehead. “I know. I can’t say
I love you
yet, but I can tell you that you’re the closest I’ve ever let myself get to someone.”

“That means a lot, especially coming from someone like you.”

We were both silent as I held her close. I had no idea what was happening, but I did know that things were changing. I could see it happening right before my eyes. And for a split second, I wasn’t scared of it.

Fourteen-Jesse

Sometime later, I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Emma was still sound asleep beside me. I slid my arm out from under her and climbed from the bed. My phone was on the dresser, and I grabbed it just as it stopped ringing. I unlocked it to see three missed calls from my mom and one from Andy. I had several unread text messages, too—most of them from my mom and one from Andy, reminding me about the party tonight.

After sending him a quick reply to let him know that Emma and I were still planning on being there, I opened the ones from my mom. They had all been sent within the last two hours. I glanced at the time and cursed. It was almost noon, and Emma wasn’t at school.

Mom: Call me.

Another one had been sent only a few minutes after the first.
Mom: I need to talk to you about something. Please call me.

There were several others like this. The last one had been sent minutes ago.

Mom: Jesse, I’m getting worried. Please call me. I need to talk to you.

I hit Reply and sent her a text to let her know that I’d be home soon. I hated to leave Emma, but it was obvious that something was up with my mom. I slipped back into my shirt and shorts before walking back to the bed.

I shook Emma gently. “Emma, wake up.”

She moaned as she opened her eyes to look up at me. “What time is it?”

“It’s noon. You missed school.”

“Shit!” she shouted as she sat up.

“There’s no point in going in now.”

“I know. I can’t believe we fell back asleep.”

“I can. We wore each other out.”

Her cheeks turned pink in embarrassment. “True.”

“My mom keeps calling. I need to head home.”

“Let me get dressed, and I’ll drive you back.” She stood and started throwing on her clothes.

***

After driving across town back to my house, she parked out front and waited for me to get out.

“Don’t forget that we are supposed to meet Andy tonight for his party.” I leaned over and kissed her.

“I won’t. I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.”