Bridge of Hope (11 page)

He gestured into the flat. “Come in, mate.”

~~~

Around two weeks later, after I’d had time to cool down and think things through, I turned up at Alice’s door. Part of me had no idea why I was there, but another part of me loved her and wanted to make things work; thanks to the minor detail that she was actually my wife.

I hadn’t seen her at college, and her friends were staying loyal to her by not giving me any information. Not that I asked more than once.

So there I stood outside the place we had begun our married life together. I tentatively knocked on the door and waited. The scrawny creature that answered the door was hardly recognisable.

“Greg?” she whispered before flinging her arms around me and collapsing into my body. We clung to each other for the longest time and I carried her into the room. Pulling away, she kissed me feverishly and began to unbutton my red-and-black checked shirt. Confusion, hurt, and love washed over me in equal measures; and as we tumbled backwards in each other’s arms, my mind was screaming at me to stop this from happening. But my heart overruled my head. I loved her. God only knew why, but I did.

We made love slowly with our eyes locked, whispering heartfelt apologies and words of love as we took pleasure from each other’s bodies. The climax I experienced was intense to say the least. But afterwards there was still an emptiness inside me that I couldn’t shake.

~~~

August 2001

After leaving university, Alice and I moved to Oban, where I got work in a music shop and she began a job with an independent fashion designer. Things had been going well and we’d put all of our hardships behind us. I’d learned to forgive her for what she had put me through. We even got to the point where we had discussed the possibility of trying for a baby, but I didn’t feel quite ready.

We were renting a little house just outside the town centre. Since the death of my parents, we’d been talking about buying somewhere of our own. Alice was getting frustrated with what she said was my lack of ambition. She wanted me to open a recording studio in Oban and begin to make something of myself, but I was enjoying meeting all the musicians that came into the shop to jam. It was like one long recording session at the place, and I loved the vibrancy and electric atmosphere I encountered every day.

My best mate, Connell, had started working as a music teacher at a school in Oban after following us to move there. His girlfriend was a barmaid at a club in town and so weekends were spent drinking and dancing. I was loving life for the most part. Except for the arguments.

Friday came around. It was the second-to-last weekend in August and we were going to a gig over in Inverness. A band made up of our former uni pals, the Mad Batters, were playing at The Ironworks, which was quite an exciting event as far as I was concerned. I arrived home from work about an hour earlier than normal. Alice was still at work and so I jumped straight into the shower.

As I was towelling myself off, the phone rang. I grabbed the receiver and tucked it under my chin. “Hello?” I said as I hopped around drying my feet.

“Hi, Greg, mate. Look, I’m really sorry but I cannae make it tonight.”

“No way? Why the fuck not, Connell? We’ve been looking forward to this for fucking ages, mate.” I couldn’t disguise the disappointment in my voice even if I’d wanted to.

“It’s Sarah, she’s really sick. A bug or something. Throwing up like something off
The Exorcist
. Can’t leave her, mate. Sorry.” There was a muffled sound as Connell shouted to Sarah in the background. “Look, mate, I’m sorry. I’d better go, okay? Talk to you tomorrow. Have a great night.” He hung up.

Fucking knobbing fuck!
I threw down my towel. Okay so my night was
semi
-ruined, but at least Alice and I could go. I dressed in my black jeans, black boots, and my favourite Soundgarden T-shirt. Making my way downstairs, I chuntered to myself about the convenience of Sarah’s supposed illness. She never wanted to fucking go anywhere, that wee lassie. Drove me fucking mad.

As I stood in the kitchen making mysel’ a coffee, the front door opened and Alice walked in, looking pale and miserable.

“Oh, great. Not you as well?” I know my attitude was selfish, but I could see my eagerly anticipated night rapidly going down the Swanny.

Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean, not me as well?”

“Connell rang. Sarah’s throwing her guts up and so he can’t go tonight.”

“Ah. That explains it, then.” She dropped her head and sighed heavily.

“Explains what?”

“The reason I’ve been throwing up all day. I was going to come home, but we’re pushed out trying to get ready for the fashion show in Glasgow next week.”

I walked over to her and helped her off with her coat. Concern came over me. “Do you think you’ve got what Sarah has?”

“We were with them last night and the night before. Stands to reason one of us would get it.”

“Aye, I suppose so.”

She stroked my cheek and hugged me. “I’m so sorry, Greg. I know how much you’ve been looking forward to tonight, but I feel crappy. I just want to sleep.”

I dropped my gaze to the floor. She couldn’t help being ill. I tried really hard not to let my disappointment show through. “You go on up to bed, babe. I’ll bring you a drink.”

She smiled up at me and kissed my cheek. “Look… why don’t you still go, eh?”

I shook my head and hugged her to me. “No, it’s okay. I’ll stay and look after you.”

“All I’ll be doing is sleeping. The sickness has stopped. You’ve been looking forward to this for so long. Just go, sweetie. It’s fine… honestly.”

I brightened a little. “Really? But—”

“I insist that you go. If you stay here, I’ll feel guilty and you’ll be over the top with the nursey thing.” She was right. I couldn’t stand someone I cared for being ill. I tended to go a bit far.

I kissed the top of her head. “Okay. Only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

“Okay. Thank you, babe. Get yoursel’ to bed, eh?”

“I’m going.” She made her way upstairs. Around an hour later I checked on her and she was sound asleep. I kissed her head and left her to recuperate.

Climbing in my Landy, a relatively new acquisition—not brand-new, but new to me—I set off for Inverness.

Chapter Fourteen

August 2001

The journey from Oban to Inverness was going to take me almost three hours, but I’d got a great soundtrack for the trip. I sang along as loud as I liked as I drove the winding roads of the highlands, surrounded on all sides by bracken-covered outcrops and lofty mountains that appeared to touch the fading azure-blue canopy overhead. The sun began to set as I travelled; the red, orange, and purple glow to the sky behind the mountains was so stunning that I came over quite emotional. I could never tire of Scotland and its beauty. I knew exactly what Dougie MacLean was singing about in “Caledonia”.

An hour into my journey I was busy singing along to “In The End” by Linkin Park when my mobile phone began ringing. I could barely hear it over the CD blaring out, and so I leaned to turn the volume down a little. I’d left the phone on the seat and nervously glanced over. S
hit, is it Alice?
I swerved as I looked down at it, trying to get a look at the caller ID. Realising it was stupid to try and read the screen on the move, I pulled over and grabbed the phone.

Sarah?
Confusion washed over me.

I clicked to answer. “Hi, Sarah. Are you feeling better?” I tried to sound friendly.

“Better? What are you on about? I’m fine. Can you pass the phone to that arsehole of a boyfriend of mine
please
? He’s got his phone switched off, and my Mum is asking if we’re coming down again in October. I need to check with him.”

I laughed. “Very funny, Sarah. Tell him to stop arsing around. I’ve still got a ways to go yet.”

“Greg, what on earth are you waffling on about? Just hand him the sodding phone, will you?”
She
was getting
angry
? At
me
?
She
was the one messing about.

“Sarah, come on now. I’m glad you’re feeling better, okay? But I’m hanging up now.” I clicked end call and was about to pull out into the traffic when my phone rang again.

“Hi, Sarah. What is it now?” I couldn’t hide my annoyance.

“Can I speak to Alice, then? At least I’ll get sense out of
her
.”

“Sorry, Alice is in bed ill. She’s got the same as you.”

“What? A set of annoying parents who like to plan ahead?”

I scrunched my face. I had no fucking clue what she was talking about and I was getting more pissed off as the seconds passed. “What?”

“Greg… I will ask you
once more
and then I’m going to get really angry. Please can you pass the phone to Connell.”

“And I will tell
you
once more. He is at home with
you
, seeing as you’ve been calling to Huey all fucking day.”

“He really isn’t with you?”
Ah, bingo! The penny droppeth!

“No, Sarah he’s with
you
.” There was a long pause on the line. “Sarah? Are you still there? Look, I’ve got to go or I’m going to be late.”

“Erm… Greg, he isn’t with me. I’m down in Manchester with my parents. He stayed home to go to the gig with you.”

Huh?
“Oh… that’s odd. He rang me earlier to say that you were ill and he couldn’t leave you.”

“I see. I don’t get it, Greg.” I could hear the worry in her voice.

“Me neither. Just hang on, I’ll call Alice see if she’s heard from him.”

“Don’t bother. Her phone’s off too.”

“Oh… yeah, that’s right. I turned it off before I left. Didn’t want her being bothered, with her being ill.”

“Do you think something’s wrong, Greg?” she asked after another pause.

“I… I really don’t know what to tell you, Sarah.”

“Is he having an affair, Greg?”

Anger bristled at my skin. “What? Why the
fuck
would you ask me that?”

“Because you’re his best friend. And you have a tendency to stick together. But… please tell me if you know he’s having an affair. Don’t let him make a fool of me.” Her voice wavered.

“He’s
not
having an affair, Sarah. He adores you. I’m sure there’s some logical explanation for this.”

“Yes… I hope you’re right.”

I heaved a long sigh. “Look, I’ll go home and check at yours, see if he’s alright. I’ll give you a call, okay?”

“But what about your friends’ gig?”

“It’s no bother. I’d rather make sure Connell’s okay.”

“Thanks, Greg. I really appreciate it. I owe you one.”

My laugh was small and rather humourless. “Aye, you do. Bye, Sarah.”

I hung up the call and turned the car around. Disappointment mixed with apprehension. What the hell was Connell up to? If he was having an affair, I’d fucking kill him. I drove at the top end of the speed limit all the way back to Connell and Sarah’s house. The place was in darkness. I hammered on the door and peered in through the window, but there was no one there.

My mind whirred as I tried to figure out where he could be. I decided to head back to my place and check in on Alice, seeing as I was in the area. Then I’d set back off and catch the latter part of the Mad Batters’ show.

I pulled up outside the house and switched off the engine. Once I climbed out, I walked to the door and unlocked it as quietly as I could in case Alice was still sleeping. Sleep was the best thing for a sickly person after all.

I heard noises coming from upstairs.
Fuck! It’s a good job I came back when I did.
Alice was crying out—bastard that I was, I’d left her alone and sick. I jogged up the stairs and burst into our bedroom.

Alice’s eyes snapped to mine and she screamed.

Connell lifted his head from between her thighs and simply said, “Oh fuck.”

My heart almost stopped dead.

She scrambled up from the bed and gathered up her clothes, hopping around the room as she dressed. My chest heaved and I literally saw red. Lunging forward, I grabbed my naked best friend by the throat and punched him in the stomach. Then I punched his face. His nose crunched and blood spattered everywhere.

Alice screamed and scratched at me. “No! Greg, please. Leave him alone. Nooooo!”

But I kept on punching him until he lay in a crumpled, snivelling heap on the floor. Then I turned to Alice as she stood there sobbing. She began to back away. A
s if
I’d fucking hit a
woman
.