Bright Side (18 page)

“So, how long have you had this car? Do you like it?” He’s genuinely interested in talking cars.

“I love it. I’ve only had it a few months. I used to have a minivan.”

Keller guffaws. “A minivan?”

I smile and narrow my eyes threateningly. “Hey, dude, don’t dog on the minivan. I loved Old Blue. She was my first car. We went everywhere in her. She was kind of a necessity. Long story.”

He raises his hands in surrender. “Okay.”

“Anyway, as soon as I got accepted to Grant this past summer my friend had doubts about Old Blue’s skills in the snow. She was rear wheel drive, you know. So I sold her and bought his aunt’s old car. It’s all-wheel drive, so it should be good when we get a big snow, right?”

Keller shakes his head. “When did you get so soft, Katie? I thought you were a strong, independent woman. You’re scared of snow?”

I widened my eyes for effect. “Dude, I’m not
soft
, I’m from Southern California. I was raised in captivity; I’ve never seen snow in the wild.”

He laughs and pats my arm for reassurance. “Winters aren’t so bad. It’s just snow. Piece ‘a cake. When the first big one comes, I’ll teach you.”

The conversation turns quiet, and Keller reaches into his bag to crack some law text book that’s thicker than the Bible. He pores over it the entire way. The only time he looks up is when I’m staring in the rearview mirror and he asks me what I’m looking at.

“The sunset,” I answer. “It’s
showtime.”

He cranes his neck to look out the back window and the light bounces off the lenses of his glasses.

It’s worth it. It’s orange down low near the horizon, and pink on top, like the sky’s blushing as it forces out the sun.

When the horizon darkens, Keller
turns back to his book and I give the road my full attention. I don’t tell him, but I’m happy he shared it with me.

Thanks to open highways and excessively pushing the speed limit, we break the Milwaukee city limit at 7:45. 

The show was out of control! It turns out I’d heard a lot of their songs before, but didn’t know it was the same band. The front man had incredible energy. He ran from one end of the stage to the other all night and ventured out into the crowd on the floor a few times. It reminded me of Gus. Gus is a phenomenal front man.

Keller and I didn’t drink, but that didn’t stop us from jumping and singing along to every song. The crowd fed off the band’s energy, the atmosphere was buzzing. Keller and I had to hold onto each other’s arms or hands the entire time to avoid being split up by the ever-moving crowd. By the final song, we’d been swept up in the motion of the crowd and found ourselves right up against the stage. The singer strapped a guitar on and played it like he was trying the beat the thing into submission. As the song ended, he bent down, grinned at me, and handed me his pick.
Me.

I wait until we’re outside, and as we walk back to my car, I give it to Keller. “Don’t say I never gave you anything.” I sa
y, my voice sounding distant through my ringing ears. After all, they’re his favorite band. And he plays guitar, not me.

Keller’s still looking at the pick in his hand when he drops into the passenger seat of my car. My ears are ringing so fucking bad I wonder if I’ll be able to hear over the constant din for the remainder of the night, or the week, or maybe forever.

He looks at me with the brightest eyes and a smile that would put an excited five-year-old to shame. “Thanks Katie. For going. For making
me
go. That’s the best show I’ve ever seen. I haven’t had that much fun,” he pauses and shrugs, “ever.” I suspected Keller doesn’t let loose often. I guess I was right.

“It was fun. I think I’ve been converted into a Reign to Envy fan. Thanks dude.” I back out of the parking space and glance at the clock on the dashboard. 12:13am.
             

“I never would’ve come on a whim like this. I admire your spontaneity, Katie. I can’t do it.”

I elbow him in the arm. “I hate to tell you this, but you just did. I would’ve missed out on some of the best moments of my life if I weren’t spontaneous. Honestly, I try not to think about the future too much. I’m a huge fan of the present.”

“I’m always looking toward the future,” he says, suddenly serious. “I can’t afford not to. The future is all I have.”

“Sometimes the future is overrated.” And scary.

“Not for me.”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t pursue dreams and goals. Just don’t forsake the present for the unknowns of the future. A lot of happiness is bypassed, overlooked, postponed to a time years from now that may never come. Don’t bide your time and miss out on this moment for a tomorrow with no guarantee.”

By now we’re on the highway headed back home. Silence comes and we enjoy it for a few minutes. Keller rests his head against the headrest and looks at me through heavy lidded, happy eyes and just stares. I feel it. “Where did you come from?”

I shrug. “San Diego.”

He shakes his head, because that’s not a question I was really supposed to answer. It was rhetorical. I get that.

“Do you miss it?”

I stop and think. “Not really. I mean I miss my best friend, Gus, but he’s traveling right now, so he’s not even there. And I miss the beach sometimes. Surfing.”

“You surf?”

“Sure.” Why does this seem to surprise people?

“That’s legit, Katie. You’re hardcore SoCal.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever, dude.”

“So, is Gus your boyfriend?”

“Nah, we’ve been best friends our whole lives.”

“You’ve been friends with a guy your entire life?” He says it like it’s something that never happens.

“Sure. What’s so weird about that?”

He smiles and the devil shines through. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but if I had a best friend that looked like you, I’d have a hard time keeping it friendly. Is he gay?”

My smile widens at the thought. “I wouldn’t have a problem with it if he was, but no, Gus is most definitely not gay.”

“And the guy never put the moves on you?”

I laugh at the unexpected question and smile. I don’t know if I should answer this question or not.

He crosses his leg and rests his foot across his other knee. “He did, I can see it in your eyes.”

Keller and I are friends and I feel closer to him now after this trip together, so I decide to open up. I don’t have anything to hide or be ashamed of. “I don’t know who
put the moves
on who first,” I say, forming my fingers into air quotes. He laughs at me teasing his word choice. “But it did get a little ...” I search for a term that won’t sound too slutty. “
Carried away
the last night I was in San Diego.”

The question comes quickly. “You’re not together now? Like, you don’t consider him your boyfriend?”

I shake my head. “No.”

He shifts in his seat so he’s facing me. “Okay, just so I’m clear on what you’re telling me, you had sex with your lifelong best friend the last night you were in San Diego before you came to Grant?”

I cringe. “Yes.” I don’t know what Keller must think of me now.

“And you’re not together, but you’re still best friends?” He sounds like he’s genuinely trying to figure this out.

“Yes. And it’s not some sort of twisted friends-with-benefits situation.”

“Friends with benefits isn’t a real thing. You know that, right? One person in that type of situation is
always
into the other one, they’re just not being honest.”

I nod. “You’re probably right. In my case, it just happened. It was a one-time thing.”

“And that’s not weird?”

I glance at him because I wonder if he’s looking at me like I have a third eye now. “No. I know it’s hard to understand and maybe it doesn’t make sense, but our friendship has endured so much more. I think we could work through just about anything the world has to throw at us and come out closer than we were before.” I shrug. “I’m really not a hoe bag who sleeps with every dude she meets, Keller.”

He laughs. “I didn’t say that.”

“I know you didn’t, but come on dude, be honest, you’re judging me right now.” I’m not being hard on him; I just want to know what he thinks about me.

He thinks about it for a few seconds. “You’re right, I am judging you right now, but it’s probably not what you think. I don’t know the guy, but I hope he realizes how incredibly lucky he is to call you his best friend. And I’m not talking about sleeping with you.”

I smile. “I’d say we both know exactly how incredibly lucky we are to have each other.”

He nods. “Good. Don’t ever sell yourself short, Katie. You’re smart and you’re funny and you’re sweet and you’re gorgeous. And the best part is that you do it all without even trying. I hope the lucky guy who wins your heart someday truly deserves it.”

“Thanks, Keller.”

He yawns. “You’re welcome.” I catch his crooked smile out of the corner of my eye. “Wake me up in an hour or so and I’ll drive. Good night, Katie.” He turns and faces the window, and less than a minute later he’s quietly snoring.

I smile for many, many miles. Compliments don’t typically sustain me, but sometimes when the right person throws one at you, it goes a long way. I could live off what he’s just said for weeks.

(Kate)

G
us is on the tour bus headed for a show in upstate New York tonight. He texted me earlier that the bus had a flat tire this morning so they’re behind schedule. It’s easier for him to text when he’s on the bus, where talking can be difficult and never private. When I finish my lunch, I text him back.

ME:
Are you there yet?

GUS:
Another 3 hrs

ME:
That sucks

GUS:
Yeah

ME:
Went to see Reign to Envy last night in Milwaukee

GUS:
How was it?

ME:
They’re no Rook but I’m a fan now ;)

GUS:
Heard they put on a good show

ME:
Yeah

GUS:
2nd round of US tour in the works. Late spring. Bigger venues

ME:
Awesome!

GUS:
After Europe

ME:
WHAT??!! EUROPE!!

GUS:
Finalized this morning. Mid-January. I’m still in shock. Wanna come?

ME:
Ha! Of course, but you’ll have to fly solo.

Mid-January. I don’t plan that far ahead
anymore.

(Kate)

It snowed last night! I can’t believe it
. I thought winter started in December, and it’s October! Barely October!

I was intentionally boycotting cold weather and thought I could delay its inevitable arrival by not buying a winter coat. I know that sounds asinine, but it’s all a mental game. My snowy nemesis has proven to be a formidable opponent.

I concede defeat by driving to one of the thrift stores in Minneapolis. I white knuckle the drive and keep my speed at a grandma’s pace despite the fact that Old Man Winter showed some mercy in leaving the roads merely wet instead of icy or snow-packed. I’m not ready for that yet. I need a baby step approach to get acclimated to this shit.

My efforts are rewarded when I score an insulated wool coat—blue and green plaid with a furry collar—for five dollars in the boy’s section. It fits, it’s cute, it’s even new. The tags are still on it.
And it’s so warm.

I can’t wait to show Clayton my score, which he’ll predictably approve of wholeheartedly. I love that I have someone who appreciates my weird fashion sense.

Thirty minutes before I need to meet Pete and Evelyn at the cafeteria, I get a text from Gus.
Can you talk?

Sugar is gone so I reply,
YES!!!

A few minutes later I’m looking at Gus’s silly grin on my ringing phone. “Konnichiwa,” I answer. “How’s life on the road today?”

“Well, Jamie kicked my ass at poker all day and Franco had the beer shits all morning on the bus. So, you know, it’s fantastic, Bright Side.
Fantastic
.”

“Is the weather nice?”

“Yeah, we’re in Austin. Got here about an hour ago. It’s probably 80 degrees.”

“Wish I could say the same for here.” I sigh. “Get this: it snowed last night. Like real, motherfucking snowflakes.” I’m trying to act pissed, but I can’t bring myself to it because I’m so happy to be talking to Gus right now. I know I don’t have long, so I need to make the most of it.

He laughs. “No way?”

“Yeah, it’s October. Isn’t snow against the rules or something until at least December?”

“You’re asking the wrong dude that question. Is it cold?”

“Yeah, I had to buy a winter coat today. Though for the locals this is probably still T-shirt weather. I swear Minnesotans have some sort of mutant gene that makes them immune to hot and cold. It’s freaky.”

He laughs again but then turns serious. “What about boots? Did you buy some boots? You’ll need boots.” It’s funny when he acts parental.

I over-exaggerate a full body shiver. “Stop. Buying the coat was bad enough. I don’t want to give in to the snow boots yet. I need time to work up to that. Maybe next month, or the one after that.” The truth is, I’ll need to buy the boots new, because used shoes
skeeve me out, and I need to save up for them. That will take a while.

“You’re right, you’d better pace yourself.” He’s teasing me.

I tease him right back. “Need I remind you that you’re touring the United States this winter? That includes the northern frigid states.  You’re going to need to buy a winter coat too, you know.”

He exhales through gritted teeth. “I know. I’m still in cold-weather denial.”

“It’s a nice place to visit, denial, but you can’t live there forever, dude.” Maybe I should take my own advice.

“Bright Side, are you quoting Confucius or JFK? That sounds so familiar.” I know without seeing him that he’s wearing this dumb, mocking expression that makes me laugh every time.

“Dude, I think it was Yoda, in
The Empire Strikes Back
. It was part of Luke’s Jedi training or something.”

We both dissolve into laughter. Gus and Grace loved
Star Wars
. We’ve watched the movies so many times I’ve lost count.

After we both regain our composure he says, “Well, Bright Side, they’re calling for me. I guess they’re ready for
soundcheck. Sorry I couldn’t talk longer. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“No worries. Don’t be a stranger, dude.”

“Right back at ‘cha.”

“I love you, Gus.”

“Love you, too.”

“Later.”

“Later.”