Broken (11 page)

“
Okay,
Garth.” Aunty Rose said. “I’ll speak to the bank manager and let
you know. But, if we do decide to buy the computer I want you to
assure me that you’ll spend more time on your homework than you’re
doing at present and less time doing whatever it is that you’re
doing in the afternoons.”

I nodded my assurance.

The total
cost of the items that I bought came to seven thousand two hundred
Rand. Aunty Rose paid for them and also began to give me one
hundred Rand every week on a Monday.
Aunty Rose had furnished my bedroom with a bed, a small
wooden desk and a chair and the computer and the small printer
fitted comfortably on the desk top and still gave me enough room to
do my homework. I used the computer to find the required answers to
my homework and occasionally I looked at the news pages. Apart from
that I found little of interest on the web until the day I
mentioned to my snooker companion, Ian Visagie, that I had a
computer.

“
Really?” he
asked. “What do spend your time looking at on the web?”

“
Very
little.” I replied. “I find the answers to my homework and
sometimes look at the news.”

“
Is that
all?” he asked. “Don’t you look at pornography?”

I blinked. I
knew vaguely what pornography was but I’d always thought of it as
something to be avoided.

“
No.” I
replied. “Is it worth looking at? I always thought that pornography
was what sick old men looked at.”

“
Let me tell
you that I spend most of my time on the internet looking at
pornography websites and I’m definitely not a sick old man!” Ian
said. “I’ll give a couple of my favourite porno website addresses
and after you’ve looked at them I’ll guarantee that you’ll look at
nothing else.”

Ian wrote the
three web addresses on a piece of paper and that evening, after
I
’d done my homework and Aunty Rose had
gone to bed, I visited the first website on Ian’s list. At first I
couldn’t believe what I was seeing and I quickly got up from my
desk and made sure that my aunt’s bedroom door was closed. I
returned to my desk and gawked at the images on the computer
screen. The unfamiliar feeling of lust crept over my whole body and
I felt my penis stiffen. It was a sensation that I hadn’t felt
before although I had noticed that girls were becoming far more
interesting to me and had a strange attraction for me.

As I watched the figures moving
on the screen I felt myself subconsciously massaging my penis and
then, to my surprise, I felt myself ejaculate. The feeling was
exquisite and my whole body tensed in ecstasy. I remembered my
father ejaculating in the back of his car in the garage but I had
never given it much thought. Now I understood why he had gasped
with such pleasure. I looked down and saw that the front of my
shorts was wet and sticky. I switched off the computer and removed
my shorts. But what should I do with them? I realised that I would
have to wash them or my aunt would notice that they’d been soiled.
I crept to the bathroom and quietly washed the garment in the
washbasin. I returned to me room and placed the shorts over the
back of my chair, hoping that by the next morning they would be
dry. I climbed into bed and lay on my back and gently rubbed my
penis. The feeling was so pleasant and I realised then that a whole
new experience was opening for me.

The animosity between me and
Aunty Rose continued to fester. She tolerated my smoking as long as
I only smoked in my bedroom and cleaned out my ashtray myself. I
knew though, that my pornography habit was a different matter and
that if she discovered what I was doing there would be hell to pay.
At worst I would be kicked out of the house, and at best my
computer would be confiscated. Although my aunt knew very little
about computers I was careful to erase the history of the websites
that I visited after each porno session

My
masturbating became more frequent and I was forced to collect my
ejaculations in a small plastic cup that I surreptitiously took to
the bathroom after each masturbation and quickly washed out in the
basin. I also began to masturbate in the shower but this
wasn
’t very satisfactory as, to avoid
attracting my aunt’s attention by showering for an excessive length
of time, I was forced to hurry and this spoilt the act
considerably. One day I returned from school to find a plumber
working on unblocking the drain from the bathroom, and although he
didn’t say anything, I could see from the way he looked at me he
knew that my sperm had been the cause of the blockage. Fortunately
he didn’t say anything to my aunt.

I began to
detest my aunt, just as I detested anyone who tried to impose their
authority on me. Her constant bickering angered me and it took all
my self-control to stop myself from retaliating. I often lay in my
bed at night and thought back to the reprimands that I had been
subjected to, and in my mind I imagined myself shouting at my
detractors and even assaulting them. It angered me that I was never
able to retaliate when the incident was happening and always only
reacted afterwards. These imaginings of retaliation gave me
tremendous satisfaction but I was very careful not to try to
re-enact them in real life. I knew that I possessed unusual
physical strength and that, if I used this injudiciously, I could
get into very serious trouble.

When I began
attending High School, I was assigned to the “B-stream” category of
education that was designed to cater for those students would only
be studying until they reached Grade 10 and would then drop out of
school and seek employment as learner tradesmen or professions that
didn’t require a university degree or a matric certificate. The
subjects that we studied were aimed at equipping us with
information that was mostly technical.

As I had no
idea of what I wanted to do when I had completed my schooling, I
had very little motivation and only put sufficient effort into my
studies to ensure that I passed my exams. The pass requirement at
schools at the time was thirty per cent which mean that, as long as
I got one out of every three questions correct, I would pass. Even
though I considered myself to be of very average intelligence, I
had no difficulty in passing my exams comfortably with very little
input.

By the time I
reached Grade 10 I was nearly sixteen years old and had been living
in my Aunty Rose’s house for almost two years. Our relationship had
deteriorated steadily and both of us looked forward eagerly to the
time I would complete my schooling, find work and leave the house.
Communication between us was kept to an absolute minimum and the
hatred between us was blatantly obvious. I spent most of my time
after school playing snooker and pinball and usually only returned
to the house after dark. Aunty Rose no longer bothered to ask where
I’d been and was usually in her bedroom when I reached the house.
My supper would be in the oven and my school sandwiches for the
next day in the fridge. I couldn’t help but feel a grudging respect
for my aunt though. Even though I treated with very little respect
in her own house, she continued to honour her obligation to provide
for me until I was able to do so for myself.

My father’s
estate was finally wound up and I received a small inheritance of
ten thousand Rand. I repaid my aunt the money that I owed her for
my computer, cell ‘phone and clothing and deposited what was left
in a savings account at the bank. Aunty Rose continued to give me
my weekly allowance though.

“
I don’t want
you to use your inheritance for living expenses.” she told me.
“I’ll continue to give you your weekly allowance and you can leave
your money in the bank to earn interest. You must try to get into
the habit of saving money whenever you can. If you do, you’ll never
regret it.”

“
I don’t see
why I should save my money.” I argued. “I might die tomorrow and
then what use will the money be to me? Money’s meant to be
spent.”

“
And what if
you spend your money and you don’t die tomorrow?” my aunt
countered. “What will you do then?”

“I’ll worry about that when it
happens.” I replied.

I got home a little earlier than
usual one evening and while I ate my supper in the kitchen I heard
my aunt begin to run her evening bath. It was her habit to first
half-fill the bath with hot water and then add cold water until the
temperature of the water was to her satisfaction.

I finished my
meal, washed and dried my plate and cutlery and went to my bedroom.
I closed the door and walked to my desk. I switched on my computer
and while it was warming up, I lit a cigarette. Vaguely I could
hear the water running into the bath in the bathroom across the
passageway. I sat down at my desk and connected to the internet. I
brought up my favourite porno website and began watching the
action. I heard a faint cry from the direction of the bathroom but
I was too preoccupied to take any notice of it. When the episode on
the first porno site finished I switched to the next site and while
I sat waiting for the connection I became aware of the fact that
the water was still running into the bathtub. I frowned. It had
never taken so long for my aunt to fill her bath before. I shrugged
my shoulders. If she wanted to waste water, it wasn’t my problem.
She would have to pay for it; not me. I went back to watching
porno.

The action
that I’d watched on the two websites had aroused me and I was just
about to take off my trousers and begin masturbating when I noticed
a thin flow of water flow under the door and into my room. I stood
up, crossed to the door, and opened it. The sound of the water
flowing into the bath was much louder now and a steady stream of
water was flowing along the passageway and into the kitchen. I
crossed the passage and carefully peered into the
bathroom.

Aunty Rose
lay on the wet tiled floor in a foetal position, completely naked.
Her back, shoulders, arms, neck and head were an angry red colour
and covered with mass of large white blisters. Above the sound of
the water pouring into the overfull bath I could hear her
whimpering softly. I stepped into the room and closed the tap. In
the silence that followed I stepped back and looked down at the
figure lying on the floor, trying to understand what had happened.
The only thing I could think of was that Aunty Rose had slipped
while leaning over the bath to turn off the hot water tap and had
fallen face-first into the scalding liquid. Somehow she must have
been able to pull herself out of the bath and had collapsed onto
the floor.

I stood and
stared down at my aunt unfeelingly and wondering what to do. I had
no knowledge of first-aid and couldn’t even gauge how badly she was
burnt. After a few minutes I left the bathroom and hurried back to
my bedroom. I had forgotten that my computer was still open on the
porno website. I disconnected from the site, carefully deleted the
history of the websites that I’d visited and disconnected from the
internet. I switched off the computer and walked back to the
bathroom.

My aunt still
lay on the wet floor, whimpering softly. I shrugged my shoulders
and went to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of milk and stood
drinking it as I contemplated what to do. Obviously my aunt needed
help. I finished my drink and walked along the passageway to her
bedroom. On the small table next the bed was a landline telephone
and a small directory. I looked up the number of the nearby
hospital and reached for my cell ‘phone. I was about to punch in
the hospital’s number when I realised that I would be using my own
precious airtime. I put my ‘phone back into my trouser pocket and
lifted the receiver of the ‘phone on the table. I dialled the
hospital’s number.

“
My aunt
seems to have accidentally fallen into a bath of hot water.” I told
the woman who answered the ‘phone. “She’s lying on the floor in the
bathroom and most of her upper body is covered in blisters. What
must I do?”

“
Where are
you?” the woman asked.

“
I’m at my
aunt’s house.” I said.

“
Yes, but
where is the house? What’s the street address?” the woman
asked.

“
Number
eighty nine Zinnia Street.” I said.

“
I’ll arrange
for an ambulance to go there immediately.” the woman said. "In the
mean time, don’t touch your aunt. Make sure that the front door of
the house is open so that when the ambulance arrives the medics can
go straight to your aunt. Do you understand?”

“
Yes.” I said
and put down the receiver.

I left the bedroom and went back
to the kitchen. As I passed the bathroom I noticed that my aunt had
stopped whimpering.

“
Are you
alright, Aunty Rose?” I asked.

There was no reply.

I went into the kitchen and
poured myself another glass of milk. As I drank the cold liquid my
mind went back to the pornography that I had been watching and I
felt myself begin to harden. Then I heard the distant wail of the
approaching ambulance. I put down the glass of milk and walked
along the passageway to the front door. I unlocked it and opened
it.

The ambulance
arrived in front of the house, its siren screaming. Two men in dark
blue overalls with yellow trim climbed out and dashed into the
house. Another two men hurried to the back of the vehicle and
opened the doors. Nobody took any notice of me. I heard the men in
the bathroom talking anxiously. I went back to the kitchen and
drank the rest of my glass of milk. I sat down at the table and
listened to the medics in the bathroom. I watched the other two men
enter the house wheeling a stretcher and carrying a large gas
cylinder. I heard them lift my aunt onto the stretcher and begin
wheeling it out of the bathroom and along the passageway towards
the front door. A woman wearing blue and yellow overalls walked
into the kitchen.