Broken (19 page)

However, ever the negotiator, what he said was, “I don’t think we should put a time limit on it. Would you agree we’re both committed to providing Zoe the most stable home life possible?”

Cassidy nodded, still keeping her face averted.

“We’re friends. At least, I hope we still are. We both love Zoe, want what’s best for her, and additionally we care about each other. I’m not Phillip. I won’t keep you in the marriage if you want out. I think…
believe
, we owe it to ourselves and to the child we created to give her a stable home foundation for as long as possible,” he said, hoping like hell Cassidy didn’t know, couldn’t see the way his shirt was clinging to his back as a result of the stress-induced sweating he was doing.

Max just needed to get Cassidy’s name on that marriage license. Once he had her, he could work on keeping her.
Please, God, let her agree. I’ll start attending Mass again and go to confession,
he bargained
.

Finally, she met his gaze. She looked shell-shocked. “I…” She cleared her throat. “I need to think. Can we talk about this later?”

He wanted to push, to press her to give him an answer now, but he knew the value of patience. “I understand. It’s a lot to take in. I’ve had all afternoon to put everything in perspective.”

She rose.

“Cassidy?” he said before she could leave the room.

“Yes.” Her guarded gaze met his.

“For two years I’ve been denied what’s rightfully mine. Please don’t make it even longer,” he said quietly, solemnly, unable to resist the need to apply a bit of guilty pressure. All’s fair in love and war, isn’t it?

She flinched, and her gaze skittered away before she fled the room. Max knew he should feel remorseful for being unscrupulous, but all he felt was a determination to finally,
finally
claim the family from which he’d been cheated.

Mentally, Max reviewed his argument. His presentation had been meticulous. His logic flawless. Though he loved Cassidy until it was an ache in his bones, he’d kept any references to love and romance out of his proposal, handling the matter with all the emotion of a business proposition.

This wasn’t the way he wanted it between them. He’d wanted to give Cassidy flowers and diamonds. To set the scene with candlelight and romance, give her sweet, loving words all women deserved to hear, and have the evening end with his ring on her finger and soul-binding sex. Part of him, the romantic soul he’d buried after she’d rejected his love the other morning, wept at the loss.

But, as they say, “necessity is the mother of invention.” If Max had to temporarily reinvent himself into a practical, duty-bound, just-doing-what-had-to-be-done suitor to woo Cassidy to his side, so be it.

Even if it broke his heart to do so.

Cassidy raced into her room, decorum forgotten, and resisted the urge—barely—to slam the door. She leaned against it, heart pounding, lungs laboring to drag in enough air. Her knees shook so she could barely stand. Anger, fear, shock—it all blended together like a Molotov cocktail in her blood.

After all he’d done, all that had happened between them, he’d had the nerve to ask her to marry him. Max really—

That wasn’t a marriage proposal.

The thought struck with the impact of a lightning bolt. Max
hadn’t
asked her to marry him. Hell, according to him, it was his lawyer who was suggesting they get married. He’d merely said, based on his lawyer’s recommendation, marrying Cassidy was the easiest way to gain what he really wanted—legal recognition as Zoe’s father and the parental rights that went with it—and gone on to calmly and logically outline why marriage was the best solution for all concerned.

Her budding fury drained out of her in a rush, leaving her feeling old and tired. She crossed over the bed and sank onto the side of the mattress. Seated, she’d allowed their conversation to replay through her mind. She’d known Max couldn’t simply petition the courts to be recognized as Zoe’s biological father. Had in fact, considered the time and money it would cost him to do so should he ever discover the truth to be the least of what he’d owed her.

What she hadn’t known, or realized, was the potential legal backlash to herself. Cassidy placed a hand over her queasy stomach, still unsettled by all the gruesome possibilities his lawyer had outlined. She didn’t doubt Max was telling the truth. It made too much sense. Actually, he’d probably understated the case.

Cassidy groaned and laid her head on the bed. This was her fault. Oh, she’d like to deny any responsibility for the way things had turned out, but the truth was she knew better. Yes, Nell along with her parents, had completed the initial registration for Zoe’s birth certificate, which had to be done within ten days of Zoe’s birth. However, once Cassidy received her initial copy, she had six months to formally request corrections to the document.

Six months. Cassidy had known by that time who Zoe’s biological father was. At minimum, she could have given Zoe Max’s last name. But, here’s the rub, with one, simple, written, notarized statement, she could have had Max listed as Zoe’s biological father. With Phillip dead, he couldn’t have opposed it, and without his written contradiction, the change would have automatically gone through.

But she hadn’t. She’d been pissed with Max—for leaving her, for not loving her the way she loved him, for marrying someone else, for not being the man she thought he was. There were so many reasons, and the more she brooded, the longer the list got. The simple truth was, not listing Max on the birth certificate was the only way to she could think of to get back at him for not being there for her as he’d promised. So, she’d let it ride and as a result, and was as much as, if not more, at fault than anyone else for denying Max his child.

She’d gotten her revenge, and now her decision had come back to bite her on the ass.

So, what are you going to do about it, Cassidy
?

The answer was, she didn’t know. Yes, she could admit she’d been wrong, but was she willing to marry Max simply to fix what she’d done? Guilt rode her, but so did lingering resentment.

You wanted another chance with Max
, her heart reminded her.
Here’s your opportunity. If you marry him, you don’t have to worry about him taking off again
.

Had it been only an hour ago she’d been lamenting Max’s lack of interest in her? What a fool she’d been. Or had she? Max hadn’t mentioned one word of love, desire, or need. Just simple practicality. This is what I want. This is the best way to achieve my goal.

Cassidy loved her daughter. Would do almost anything to make her happy. But did that include marrying a man she didn’t love just to give her daughter a full-time father?

Now you’re lying
, her conscience berated.
Not loving Max isn’t the problem. Loving him too much is. Be honest with yourself, even if you won’t be honest with him.

Properly chastised, Cassidy sighed. “I do love him, but…”

It was the “but” she kept getting hung up on: I love him but I don’t trust him. I love him but I don’t want to be in love with him. I love him but I’m so scared he’ll hurt me again. But, but, but…

She had decisions to make. As hurt and angry as she’d been by Max’s desertion, she’d never once regretted giving birth to his child. Never had she wished Zoe had been Phillip’s. In fact, she’d been happy with the unexpected turn of event. She’d wanted Zoe to know her father, Max to know his daughter, and for the three of them to be a family. Had any of that changed? No, it hadn’t. Now she was being given an opportunity to make it happen. So, what was the problem?

The problem, she realized glumly, was Max hadn’t gone down on one knee and declared his undying love and devotion for her. He hadn’t offered her his ring and stated his desire to stand in front of their family and friends and have them witness her and Max being joined together in holy matrimony as they promised each other forever. What he
had
done was given her a business proposition—a marriage in name only where they both got what they said they wanted and no one was penalized.

He offered you his love and you threw it in his face. How many times do you expect him to put his heart on the line for you
? her heart reminded her.

“
As many times as it takes. I’m the injured party here,” she snarled.

Erika’s words came to her.
“…before you get all sanctimonious and unforgiving with Max, consider the possibility he might have a few reasons to be angry with you too.
”

Maybe this way is better. As she’d learned, vows meant nothing, and promises were made to be broken. They would both be going into the marriage with their eyes wide open. No romantic notions of forever love clouding the issue. Their love for Zoe would be the stabilizing force in their relationship, and when it was no longer enough, they’d end things as quietly as it began.

If, in her heart, Cassidy wept at the cold practicality of it all, no one, especially Max, would ever know.

Despite knowing she was going to agree to Max’s proposition, she still made him wait three days before giving him her answer. It was petty of her, but damn it, he could have shown some hint of emotion. Some hint her answered mattered to him.

“I’ll marry you so you can adopt Zoe,” she said, calm as you please while buttering her toast.

Whatever response she’d expected—hoped?—to receive, she didn’t get. Max didn’t bother to glance up from the papers he was reviewing as he said, “Courthouse hours are from eight to five, Monday through Friday. Can you get off early today so we can apply for the license? Or would you prefer to go in late on Monday? The process shouldn’t take more than a half-hour. I’d prefer to get it done today.”

She blinked. “Uh… Oh! I should be able to leave at three today.”

He nodded his acknowledgment. “I’ll meet you at the courthouse at three-thirty.”

“You don’t want us to ride together?” Cassidy heard herself saying and could have bit her tongue at how needy she sounded.

He did look up. As she met his blue gaze, she still had no idea what he was feeling. Max had his emotions on lock down. “The courthouse is downtown near the clinic. If you prefer I pick you up from work and return you to your vehicle afterwards, that’s doable.”