Broken Barriers (Barriers Series Book 4) (9 page)

The fire didn’t crackle. The music was nothing more than a whisper. It felt like that scene in
West Side Story
when Tony saw Maria for the first time and the rest of the world was a blur. If it weren’t for spending months helping Sam prepare for her role in the high school musical version of that play, I would have probably seen this moment in an entirely different light. I didn’t, though, and I could feel a connection that drew me closer to her.

Her eyes on mine sent this tingling feeling across my skin. I was burning up next to the fire, and yet I felt as cold as ice. She reached out her hand and gently wrapped it around my outstretched hand. Not quite sure when I gained my mobility back to raise my hand, but there it was linking with hers. “So, you’re Drew. I’m Cole. It’s about time we finally met.”

I stood there literally in shellshock. I didn’t hear a single word that she said. I was still transfixed on this stunning woman standing before me. She giggled as her eyes stared at our hands. “…Soooo, Drew. I’ve heard some rumors about you.” She giggled once more before looking back up at me. My mouth opened, but nothing came out until a slap on my back broke me from my stupefied state of mind.

My hand snapped away from hers abruptly, and my body went rigid as a pole. My blood was suddenly hotter than the fire in front of me. It happened so fast that not even I could understand what was going on.

My right hand flew over my left shoulder and wrapped around the hand on my opposite shoulder. Cole stumbled back a couple of steps with a loud audible gasp of shock. I turned sharply and managed to get the arm off me and pinned curtly behind his back. My other forearm wrapped around his neck, and I pulled tightly. Years of college wrestling and Marine Corps defensive training had been instilled in my mind for so long that I didn’t think before I did anything anymore.

I felt a couple of other hands upon me, and I knew the guys were saying words, but I didn’t have a clue as to what they were saying. I heard the girls’ voices around me, fearing my actions as the guys managed to get me to release my grip on whom I saw was Everett, and my arms dropped from the body in my grasp.

Everett turned and shook his arm and rubbed his neck before coming back over to me. If I were curious as to what those two other Marines could do as bouncers… Well, I had just found out. Once it all processed, I felt as though an apology just wouldn’t cut it. I went into immediate defense mode with Josh the other day and again just then. I looked at Everett’s face, assuming that I’d see anger, or better yet, scorn. Instead, I saw understanding and proof that he’d been where I had just gone.

With slow and calculated steps, he approached me and stood at ease in front of me. With one look, his arms crossed in front of him, and I heard the words that had been spoken to me so many times before. “You better lock that shit up, Marine.” His voice was demanding, but sorrowful. Then with a slight tilt of his head, he softly said, “I’ve been there. I should have known before I approached. That’s all on me, and I’m sorry. But, trust me when I say that shit won’t fly around here, so get your head in check and work that shit out. Copy that?”

My lips formed a thick line, and I nodded in understanding. I was FUBAR—Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition—and I needed to find some help. When I returned, Veterans Services really didn’t offer me much. If I said I was FUBAR, they would have committed me on the spot and probably said I suffered from PTSD or some shit like that. I most likely did have all the symptoms for PTSD, but they said it was just Adjustment Disorder. Plus, I wanted out. I didn’t want to be probed by USMC doctors and therapists any longer than necessary. I needed to be done with the Marine Corps. The shit I went through during my deployment: the convoys, the IEDs, the constant state of awareness and fear… Someone behind a desk with a piece of paper on the wall wasn’t going to help me with that shit. I needed someone who had been through the same as me. With one look at Everett, I could tell he knew.

He reached out and rested his hand upon my shoulder. “Dude, you ever want to hash that shit out…you know where to find me. I know exactly what’s going on in there.” He pointed to his head with his finger. “Trust me. Get it all out. You’ll sleep better at night if it’s no longer bottled up.”

With a final slap on the shoulder, Everett backed up a couple of steps. As I glanced around, everyone’s eyes were pinned on me. This was something I’d never get used to—the judging and the soft whispered voices of those who thought I was crazy. Nobody would ever truly understand the sacrifices made until they walked in my shoes. That bed of freedom everyone slept on each night…I fought for that. I’d lost a piece of
me
for that freedom.

Everett turned away and told everyone there was nothing to see here. Just a little Marine roughhousing. Both Locke and Deroche came around me and nodded in understanding. With a snap of a piece of wood from the fire, my eyes trailed back to the brunette with golden flames dancing across her skin.

Cole looked at me with concern, but not empathy like most others did. The girls around her gave me cautious looks and whispered into each others’ ears before moving farther away from me. One of them was Morgan. A few of the girls I hadn’t met yet. With a soft smile, I saw her turn back to Morgan, saying something out of earshot.

Cole turned and walked in my direction again. I watched her as she moved closer. Her long legs and flip-flop covered feet were in front of me in the blink of an eye. The tunnel vision had returned, and I finally saw her then.

Compared to my tall frame, she hovered close to my shoulders even in flats. Her light brown hair fell just below her breasts. My eyes wandered from her neck down to her just barely exposed cleavage of her flowing tank top. She was possibly one of the most naturally gorgeous women I’d ever laid eyes on. There was nothing fake about her. She reminded me so much of… Well, let me say that after just meeting Cole, I was already attracted to her.

She cleared her throat as if knowing where my eyes were heading. She took a sip of her wine before my eyes returned to hers. The flames of the fire danced in the glaze within her eyes, but even in this light, I could tell they were a bright blue. They said a person’s eyes were the window to their soul. I had no idea why or how, but in that moment, I felt as though I’d been there before with her.

“Everett tells me you just got back from overseas.” Cole shouted over the chatter of the other guests and the music coming from someone’s tablet on the snack table. I nodded at her as she moved closer to the food, grabbing a few cubes of cheese. I watched her long fingers pop each cube into her mouth one by one in slow movements.

What I wouldn’t give to be one of those cheese cubes.

Her face scrunched as she sipped her white wine and then raised her eyebrows as she waited for me to respond. Everyone else had gone about their other conversations except for her. Even with her friends nearby, she still only wanted to talk to me. The music grew louder, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to continue trying to talk with her by the snack table.

I looked behind her at the water and noticed a couple of chairs along the shore, away from the noise. After I pointed in that direction, she turned her head and then nodded in understanding. As she grabbed a refill of her wine, I dug into my cooler for a beer before we walked to a quieter corner of the yard.

When I finally reached the edge of the yard and sat in the beach chair, Cole sat next to me. “So, Everett told you I was overseas? But, first let me say I’m sorry about what just happened back there. You could say after living in a war zone for so long I’m still a little tense at times.” I ran my hand through my hair and glanced down at my beer, hoping she wouldn’t feel the need to be sympathetic like most people.

“You were in Afghanistan I assume? What was your job over there?”

“Military Police. But somehow I managed to get attached to another unit, and well, the MP role really took a backseat when you headed into combat.” I looked over at her and caught her subtly running the tip of her finger over the rim of her wine glass. I could tell her mind was trying to think of what to say or ask next. She was focused entirely too much on her wine glass rather than talking with me.

I had never really had any issue breaking the ice with other girls, but something about this one had me tongue-tied, and I had no idea why. Somehow, though, I remembered something Everett told me the other day about her.

“Everett also mentioned you live up here year-round. You have family up here?” Without even having to look, I knew there wasn’t a wedding band on her ring finger. “Or perhaps your boyfriend lives up here, too?”

Cole confined her laughter as she snorted into her wine glass now settled at her lips. After my last ballsy question, that reaction was kind of expected. Couldn’t really blame a guy for being curious. Who wouldn’t want to find out if there might be someone standing in your way or lurking off in the darkness behind you waiting to attack? A guy had to know how to swim before he treaded water, or however that saying went.

Cole took an extremely long sip of her wine before leaning back into her chair. “You military guys certainly don’t have any issues with your abruptness, do you?” A wide grin formed on her lips as she made a joking observation. Her response processed in my head, and I wondered if Everett ever attempted to hook up with her. I didn’t want to assume, but then again, I didn’t want to ask, either. My head turned back to look at the guys playing horseshoes in the yard. Everett was standing off to the side and noticed me watching him and raised his beer bottle in my direction. Without meeting her eyes, I asked, “Are you and Everett...”

Cole burst into laughter, holding her glass away from her, careful not to spill any of the liquid. “God, no! Not that it’s any of your business, since I just met you and all.” She shook her head and turned to look back at the partygoers. “But, I wouldn’t be caught dead with any of those meatheads over there, especially Everett. He’s Morgan’s problem.” She adjusted her body slightly so she could cross her legs and stared back at the water. All my attention was now focused on the bare skin of her legs instead of her face, and my mind instantly wandered.

I needed to snap out of it. I had to keep the right head in check tonight.

“Uh…is there anyone here tonight I need to be worried might get the wrong impression if I’m talking to you?” I was not even sure why I cared. It was just nice to have a conversation with someone who wasn’t judging me for my past mistakes. I was certainly not in any way looking for a steady girlfriend, but if the cards were right, I had to go all in.

Light giggles came from her direction as she rested her chin on her hand. Her elbow raised on the armrest as she stared at me with her soft doe eyes. “Tell me, Drew. If I let you have sex with me tonight, how awkward would the rest of your time here at the lake be if you ran into me? Because I’m pretty sure all you Marines are the same here. ‘Fuck ‘em and dump ‘em.’ Isn’t that the phrase you guys use? I’m also certain this won’t be the last you’ll see me around town, and you
don’t
want to piss me off.”

My mouth went slack and my eyes wide after Cole’s insinuation about me only wanting to use her for sex. I was at a loss for words and had to wonder what other Marines had given her the idea that we were all the same. “Cole…N-no-no. I think you took that the wrong way,” I said, trying to patch up the shitty start to our conversation.

Yeah, we were typically horny bastards by nature, but there were still a few good ones mixed in. Drill weekends, before I went on active duty, consisted of nothing but sex, booze, and strip joints. It was like a college frat party once a month for years, and it was wonderful. My anger needed an outlet after college. My wrestling career and frat years were over, but the pain inside never subsided. My family never assumed I lived this life of sin and torment, and they never would, either. There had only been one person who was able to tame that beast after all those years of pointless sex and binge drinking. I couldn’t help but wonder if my life was bound to head back in the same direction without her. Was I destined to live in the past or be alone forever? Surely, my outlook on life had to change for the better. After all, that was the reason why I came up here to the lake, wasn’t it?

I heard my name from afar and then a set of fingers was snapping in front of my face. My eyes roamed and blinked until I saw clearly. All of a sudden, my mind was back from the flashbacks. Cole knelt before me, her concerned eyes scanned my face for something. “Where’d you go?” she quietly asked as I stared down at her toward my feet. I leaned back in the cheap plastic beach chair. My mouth suddenly went as dry as sandpaper. I took the final swig of beer and placed the empty bottle onto the sand next to me.

“You know I was only kidding about the sex thing, right?” Cole’s face pained with worry. “I don’t quite have a filter anymore, sorry. I have too many spoiled rich guys and military men who vacation at the lake in the summers thinking I’m an easy one-night stand.” Her hand gently rested on my knee that until then I had no idea was bouncing nervously. As my knee stilled, her face relaxed. “But, I sense there is something different about you. A darkness within your soul, perhaps? You’ve got a hurt inside that only a certain someone can understand…” Her last words were barely audible, as her voice grew weak. A single tear slowly fell along her cheek. If I weren’t so close to see the dampness glistening from the fire, no one would have seen it. I didn’t think she realized I could see the depths of her own soul being released in that lone teardrop.

With a deep breath, I leaned down closer to her face. As my thumb was about to wipe away the tear, her eyes closed, and she pulled back the slightest bit. “I have a feeling we are a lot alike, you and me,” I said.

Cole’s eyes fluttered open, and she turned away, avoiding any connection with me. She dragged her teeth over her lower lip before glancing back at me. “Just please don’t prove me wrong if I take that chance on getting to know you, Drew.” Cole rose to her feet and quickly excused herself.