Broken Dreams (58 page)

Addie worked her way around the room, and finally got back to Henry. It was difficult for her to speak. “Thank you so much.” She gently hugged him. “I thought she was gone.” Addie broke down.

I rushed to her side before she collapsed to the floor. I held her tight in my arms while she wept. After a few minutes, I guided her toward the bed so she could sit down.

“I thought I lost her,” she said over and over again. I understood her anguish. I looked over at Henry. He curled his lips into his mouth and looked away from me.

Rosa gingerly sat down on the bed and took Addie’s hands. “Momma, we tried to get out.”

“I tried to find you. I went everywhere, even Justin and Shay’s house. Their whole family…” Rosa grabbed her and pulled her close. I heard small cries, and realized that they were coming from Shay. Justin took his sister’s hand and held it tight, like he was never going to let her go. I looked over at my brother and he nodded at me.

All the sadness began overwhelming me. I kept seeing my father coming at me on the street near the church. Then Jenna trying to kill Nick. Nate. Henry turning Nick. My mom dying at the hands of Kellan. And Sophie taking that awful fall.

Then my Henry and the pain that he lives with every single day of his life. It tore me up so I got up and excused myself. I ran out the front door to try to collect myself. I sat down on the porch stairs and wrapped my arms around my legs. I was afraid if I let go, I would fall apart. I was shaking, trying to hold myself together.

Several minutes had passed before the door opened behind me. I didn’t even look up. I felt his cool body sit down beside me. A pain-filled sigh saturated the air around us.

“Hey, love.”

“You should be in bed.”

“I’m fine right now, but Addie said only for a few minutes. Any longer than that, she said she was dragging me back into bed, whether I wanted to or not.” He mocked Addie’s southern drawl and attitude. We both laughed. He wiped my tears away. “I have to say, she’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a mother, even though I’ve known her for only twenty-four hours.”

I put my face into my hands again, muffling my words. “I thought you were going to turn, Henry. I can’t handle seeing you that way. I don’t think I can handle another loss, especially if it was you.”

“I know, love. But look. I’m alright.”

I looked at him. “Henry…you will never be alright.”

“I know.” He was saddened. He pulled me close, and hissed in pain.

“What happened in there? Why were you so bad coming back?”

“There were a lot of undeads. Hundreds, Elaina. Hundreds. Most of them were kids. I have never seen so many in one space. I was already hurting when we got there. I don’t understand why I’m turning faster than I used to.”

“Maybe it’s because of all your recent injuries.” I looked up at his eyes…beautiful, breathtaking, and just brilliant.

“I don’t know. I’m so glad you didn’t come with us. It was terrifying, even for me. The smell was off the charts. Even Nick was sick. The kids had piled up the true deads all the way up to the third floor. It was a brilliant move to protect themselves, but it was hell trying to climb over them to get up there. I don’t even want to get into the gore.”

“Yes. Please don’t.”

The door opened behind us. “Alright, Henry. Come on now. You need your rest.” I stood and helped Henry up. I watched him walk into the house and head toward the bedroom. Then I decided that I needed to go with him. “Uh…no.” Addie stopped me at the door, waving her finger at me. I looked at her with bewilderment. “He needs his rest. I know what y’all will do if you are left alone.” I blushed so much my face felt as if it was set ablaze.

“But…I was just going to get him comfortable and then leave.”

“Promise?” Addie had her eyes completely zoned in on me.

“Yes! I would never do that in someone else’s home, especially during waking hours.” I huffed and pushed past her. Henry was chuckling and holding his ribs. I closed the door behind us. “We aren’t teens, for pete’s sake. She does know we were supposed to marry, doesn’t she?”

I knew he thought it was hilarious because he took me the night before, and I was lying. I didn’t find it very humorous. I helped him out of his shirt and began undoing his pants as he sat down at the edge of the bed. I realized he was missing that essential article of clothing that would keep him covered with his pants off. I was gawking at his body when I heard Henry say, “Hey, are you trying to get me in trouble?”

“Oh, come on! You’re setting me up!”

“Setting you up?”

“Yes!”

“Because I didn’t wear boxers on purpose this morning because I knew this exact moment would happen?” He rolled his eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me!” I growled at him.

“How do you like it?” He swung his legs around to lie down in the bed. I pulled the covers up to his waist, leaving his pants undone. I admired his battered body. He still looked beautiful to me. I sat down next to him and reached out, touching his chest.

His skin was so smooth and cool. Of course, he still had those nasty bruises and scars. I gently touched each and every single one. Every bruise and scar happened because he battled someone, somewhere, at some point. Henry grabbed my hand.

“Hey. It’s okay. They are just bruises and scars.”

“It’s not okay. This is not okay. None of this is okay.”

“I understand that more than most, but we don’t have a choice.” He placed my hand over his heart. “This beats for you. Whether life is shitty or grand, my heart is always beating for you.” I smiled with sadness and kissed him on the forehead.

“You need some rest. I better get out of here before Addie drags me out by the collar.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me down. “Henry…please.” He held me close and kissed me as he pushed me down onto the bed. “Henry…stop. I have to go,” I mumbled between kisses.

“I don’t want you to go,” he said in that deep sexy rasp that worked for me nearly every damn time. Then he nuzzled into my neck and began touching me. “Take off your shirt. I want to see my black-haired beauty,” he whispered.

“Henry… No, I can’t.” I pulled away.

“Why? I want you.” He grabbed my hand and rubbed it over his thick and heavy manhood. “Feel what you do to me.” I yanked my hand away. I knew if I lingered, it would be over. He knew what he did to me, and was trying his best to make it happen.

“You can’t always have what you want, when you want it. And, besides, you’re in rough shape right now. You need to rest.” He grumbled at my statement. “I’m sorry.”

“Pain or no pain, I think I can manage.” I glared at him, and he added, “I’m going to get you sooner or later.” Surely, I would buckle at some point. I couldn’t resist him forever with that devilish look in his brilliant, emerald green eyes.

“Is that a threat, or a promise?” I added my own wicked look to the mix.

“Consider it both, my love,” he rasped. For good measure, I made sure I swayed my hips on the way out of the room. “Tease,” he mumbled. I snickered as I walked out the door.

Chapter 37

walked out of the bedroom with a huge, cheesy smile on my face, along with quite a stirring deep inside. I headed into the crowded kitchen and was immediately greeted with five pairs of curious eyes. Feeling self-conscious, I tugged at my tattered clothes, then fiddled with my fingers.

“Ahh… Well, maybe I will just go out there with them.” I thumbed over my shoulder and turned around to leave the kitchen, but Addie stopped me.

“Not so fast, young lady. Come back here and sit down.” I let out a great sigh because I knew the questions were coming. Addie was going to try to drag the truth out of me if it was the last thing she did. Time to put my game face on.

I precariously turned around, facing all those prying eyes once more. The sound was deafening as the chair scraped across the kitchen floor when I pulled it out.

“Now…give me your time frame.” Say what? She wanted a time frame for us to leave? Fan-fucking-tastic.

“Well…” I paused and played with a string at the cuff of my sleeve. “I have to speak to Henry about that first but, obviously, he needs his rest right now. He’s the one who makes most of the final decisions.” That sounded good to her…I hope.

“Yes. About Henry… What’s his deal? Something is off about him.” And there it was. We had barely gotten in thirty seconds of conversation, and she was going to try to worm all of Henry’s dirty secrets out of me. I sucked in a deep breath and let out a slow, long exhale.

“Henry has had a very rough and traumatic life. He would kill me…” They all looked at me in shock. “Well, not literally…” I felt I needed to make that clear since Addie had witnessed some of Henry’s milder outbursts. “I meant, if he knew I was telling you this, he would be upset. His mother was murdered in front of him when he was five, and he was placed into an orphanage because his father was nonexistent in his life. He moved in and out of a number of foster homes up until he was a teen. He was a bit of a troublemaker, as you could probably guess. Then they decided to try one more home before they gave up on him. Well, this home was a horrifying experience for him.”

I jumped when I heard Nick’s voice behind me. “Do you think you should be saying all of this without Henry in the room?” I felt his firm grip on my shoulder.

“It’s fine, Nick. Addie should know to be able to understand what’s going on with him. Anyway, once he made it to the last home, he was severely mentally and physically abused. When I say severely, that’s a mild statement in comparison to what happened to him. He’s scarred inside and out. He worked hard to save money and, eventually, ran away to the good ol’ U.S. of A. He did what he had to do to get dual citizenship by working his ass off and proving he could be a productive member of this society.” I stopped there.

“Where did you get all those weapons from?” Addie asked.

“We acquired most while traveling. Plus, he and I had a few prior to the outbreak. He’s a weapons enthusiast. A hobby, I guess.” My half-truths just might have been working. I was crossing my fingers under the table. Addie nodded. All the kids sat, staring at me like I was some sort of freak.

“How did you meet?” Rosa asked.

I laughed, which was definitely fake. “Well…that is a funny story.”

“So tell it!” Julianna said, full of enthusiasm. “I like funny stories.” She was so excited to hear it, but I had a feeling that I would disappoint.

“Okay. Well, I was fired from yet another job, which was not a shocker for me. Then, when I got out to my car, I saw I had a flat tire. I’m hopeless around cars. I’m lucky I can drive one. So I was searching frantically for my phone to call my father. And…surprise, surprise…I couldn’t find it in the bottomless pit of my purse. I squatted down and just about dumped out my purse when the most amazing creature knelt down in front of me and offered me some assistance. Not with the tire, but with a phone. I was drawn in in an instant. His eyes melted me. So he let me use his phone and, of course, my wonderful brother here blew me off. He was out on a date with someone.” I heard Nick sigh. “Henry offered to take me to the coffee shop down the street and wait there until a tow truck showed up. So I accepted.” I stopped speaking, and all the eyes were still focused on me.

“I guess I don’t understand what was so funny,” Julianna whispered.

“Well, it’s more an adult humor kind of thing. I guess you wouldn’t really think it was that funny, unless you knew us and how typical the incident was,” I added in a very nonchalant tone. Addie sat in silence. I could see she was running over the story in her head, seeing if her bullshit meter spiked.

“And the day you were supposed to get married, all of this craziness began?” Addie asked, and I tried to swallow my stomach down back to where it was originally located. I looked at Nick, and he had his head in his hands.

The tears were rising to the surface. I could still see, hear, smell, and feel everything from that day. It still felt so fresh. Then I felt gentle hands touch both of my shoulders. Claire whispered, “That day was very devastating for all of us. We all lost so many in the matter of a few minutes. That’s another reason why Henry is the way he is.” It killed me hearing that because it was the truth. I wilted and rested my forehead on my arms. Hearing her say that made me want to take all of Henry’s pain away. Every last fucking bit of it.

“It runs deeper for him than most,” Claire continued. “That’s why, when he gets injured, he acts the way he does. It brings him right back to the moments when he was beaten near death. Like a flashback. I just said he was a big baby to avoid having to tell you all the gory details. Elaina had been trying to get him to seek therapy. We all believe he has post-traumatic stress disorder.” I sat up, and my face was wet with tears. I reached up to Claire and touched her hands that rested on my shoulders. Nick still had his head in his hands. I knew that he was crying, as well.

“Well,” Addie said, “I see that life has been difficult for Henry, as it has been for all of us as of late. He seems to have had much more to deal with than us, though. He’s a sweet man. You should treasure each and every day with him. Don’t take him for granted.”

Was Addie in the room when Sophie said that exact phrase to me? She paused and worked through her own pain.

“My husband and I used to take one another for granted, and now he’s gone. I’ll never get to apologize or see him again. So, please, go take care of that man. He needs you.” Addie smiled, and the relief poured over me. “Feel free to stay as long as you need. It will be cramped, but we will get through it.”

“I can never thank you enough. You have been amazing to us already.” I was so thankful, and so relieved that our half-truths were good enough for Addie. I did feel guilty about being so shady, but we couldn’t afford to tell her the truth.

“He brought me back my little girl. It’s the least I can do.” Addie stood up and hugged me, Claire, and then pulled Nick into a hug. “It’ll be okay. Y’all are strong. It will be a long, tough road, but y’all will persevere.” She grabbed Nick by the cheeks, and gasped.

Shit, I thought. I looked at Claire, hoping she could come up with some explanation sooner rather than later.

“Your eyes…” She stepped back. “They are the same as Henry’s. I have never seen eyes that color before.”

“Oh.” Claire swatted her hand passively in the air and let out a soft laugh. “It’s pretty common up there. I’ve seen them all around.” She acted like it was a non-issue.

“It’s just so odd.”

I softly laughed. “Yeah, we’ve gotten that all our lives growing up. Mostly, people would say ‘Oh, how sad for you to not have the same eyes as your brother’. I have such ordinary blue eyes.” Addie was still staring at Nick. “Well, I think I’m going to go check on Henry.” I swiftly walked out of the kitchen, touching Claire’s arm, hoping she understood that I was grateful for what she had done.

***

I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. With caution, and a little bit of fear, I pushed open the door. Then I relaxed when I saw that Henry was asleep, curled on his side and facing the window. I smiled for a moment until I heard him talking in his sleep. He was crying out for Sophie.

My heart broke for him. He relived the nightmare, night after night. I got into bed and snuggled up against his sweaty body. I stroked his muscled arm with my fingertips. Then I focused on his hair. It was pretty much out of control by that point, much longer than he ever would like. The brown waves were going in directions that defied the laws of physics.

Henry stirred slightly beneath my touch. He rolled over, slow and careful not to make himself hurt more than he already did. He opened his eyes, and they grabbed me, pulling me in.

“You were having a bad dream.” I reached up and brushed his hair off of his forehead. He glanced away with a shyness that made me feel the warmth within his heart. Then he looked back up at me and stroked my cheek. A soft smile crossed his face. It was moments like those that I cherished with him. That was the real Henry.

That Henry was my absolute favorite. He seemed content. I smiled at him when he wrapped his arm around my lower back and pulled me close. We were nose-to-nose. Henry’s cool breath sent chills throughout my entire body, only to stop at my core, leaving me begging for him to touch me.

Without warning, he pushed me on my back and rolled on top of me. He pressed his lower body against mine, letting me know what he wanted, knowing I could no longer resist his advances.

I reached down and helped him out of his pants, as he helped me out of mine. He balanced himself on his right elbow, interlacing the fingers of his left hand into mine. He pushed my legs apart and settled between them. The kisses between us were strong and hungry. In one thrust, he plowed into me.

I fought valiantly to stay quiet. I buried my face into his chest, hoping my voice and heavy breathing would be muffled. Henry buried his face at the crook of my neck and into the pillow. We rocked each other to ecstasy. It took every ounce of strength from both of us not to cry out as we came together.

I began crying immediately after. I was emotionally spent. He lifted himself off of me, a stunned look on his face. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” I held my hands over my face, trying to hide the obvious. The tears streamed down the sides of my cheeks, settling into my ears. “Love, please…talk to me.” He was a little frantic.

He forced my hands down off of my face. Then he pulled me close and held me. He comforted me the best that he could, without knowing why I was such a goddamn mess.

“Love, tell me what’s wrong. You’re worrying me,” he pleaded.

My words didn’t come out with ease. Every single one of them broke through my sobs. “I’m just so tired. Tired of it all. Tired of worrying about you; worrying if we will get to where we need to go; worried what’ll happen when we get there; worried about us, about everyone…” Henry wrapped his arms around me. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I worry so much about you. There’s only Thomas and I to supply you and Nick now. Food is slim, safe housing is limited…” Henry pulled back and rested his forehead against mine.

“I’m so sorry. I want to make you happy. And I will not stop until that happens. I know I’ve been weak lately, but I promise to provide more strength for you to lean on.” He brushed my long, tear-dampened hair away from my face and drew me into his gaze. “Tomorrow, I will start training Nick and Thomas, if Addie will allow it. I understand your fears and I want to give you some reassurance.” He kissed my cheek.

Of course, someone had to knock on the door during one of my weaker moments. Panic ran through me. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was crying my eyes out, nor find out that we were without clothes. I tried to make my voice sound steady.

“Hold on. I’m helping Henry put his shirt back on.” There were a lot of quick silent hand motions between us, pointing at our clothes and one another. I hate charades.

Claire shouted through the door. “I just wanted to tell you that Addie wants everyone outside so we can tend to the garden and figure out a meal.”

“Alright. We’ll be right there. I just need to help him.” Henry blotted my face with the water and rag that Addie used to wipe down his broken hand. We both dressed.

“It’s going to be okay.” I nodded. He pulled me into yet another one of his healing embraces. “Come on, my black-haired beauty. Let’s get out there and help.”

“She said we can stay as long as we need to.” Henry smiled. Then he took my hand, and we walked out together.

***

As Henry and I made our way out to the others, he held me firmly against his side. He was doing just as he said he would…holding me up with his strength.

Everyone was in the garden. Claire saw us and waved. Henry continued holding on to me. When we finally arrived to the outer edges of Addie’s massive garden, he eased his body away from mine, making it look as if I was assisting him. He knew exactly what I needed. That’s why I loved him so much.

“Mr. Henry!” Julianna rushed to him. She clutched Henry around his waist. “You’re okay!” Henry squatted down low enough to be eye-to-eye with his newfound admirer. He grinned at her, taken in by the affection Julianna was showing him.

“Hello, beautiful princess. I’m doing much better. Thank you.”

“Mr. Henry, I pulled out a sweet potato for you out of Ms. Addie’s garden.”

“Wow! That’s brilliant. Thank you. Is it all right if I share with the others?”

“Yes, of course!” Julianna skipped away from us. Henry stood up, and he saw that I was blown away.

He smiled at me. “She’s a doll,” he said.

“You’re going to be an amazing father someday.” I touched his cheek and smiled.

***

“How are you feeling?” Nick asked Claire as he sat down next to her on the couch in Addie’s living room. She was settling down after eating a decent meal for a change.

“I’m fine. I’m just really tired, physically and mentally.” Nick pulled Claire into him and hugged her. Claire pulled away. “Can you play me a song?” Nick looked across the room and saw his guitar propped up against the wall near the door.