Broken Illusions (His Agenda Volume 3) (3 page)

Chapter Five

Something had dragged me straight out of the depths of sleep. Behind my closed lids, I was awake, but I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes.

Next to me, Dustin stirred and turned to drape an arm around me. It was a hot night, and his body heat didn’t help the problem, but I felt cozy and safe in his arms.

I snuggled closer and enjoyed the feel of his breath on the back of my neck. Then I heard something—a soft swish coming from somewhere in the room. I forced my eyes open. I widened them at the same time that my heart clenched. I blinked several times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

I wasn’t.

One of the sheer Ripple-Fold drapes lifted, fluttered a few inches away from the window, and fell back into place. The large window was wide open. Despite the heat, my paranoia would never let me sleep with the windows open anymore. Dustin had come to get used to it.

It was hard to see outside in the darkness, but my skin prickled the way it did when I felt I was being watched. The only way someone would be able to peer through my window was if they climbed a ladder up to the third floor, but despite the implausibility of that scenario, I felt uneasy.

Holding my breath, I nudged Dustin. He groaned and murmured my name, his voice rusty with sleep.

“You okay?”

“Did you open the window?” I whispered, barely moving my lips. My eyes were still glued to the open window and the darkness beyond, the darkness I hoped didn’t hide anything—or anyone—sinister.

“I would never do that, sweetheart. You don’t like it,” Dustin whispered back.

I licked my dry lips as my whole body clenched. “It’s open, Dustin.”

Without saying anything more, Dustin released me, and to my horror, climbed out of bed.

“What are you doing?” I whispered. “Where are you going?”

“To close it.” He approached the window and closed it without looking out. “Maybe we forgot to close it last night.” His voice was louder now.

I sat up in bed, my heart still thumping. “That’s the problem, Dustin. I never forget to close the windows.”

It was a ritual of mine to make my rounds through the apartment, checking that all doors and windows were closed and locked. In the two years I’d been living in my apartment, I had never once woken up to an open window. Or forgotten to make my bed, for that matter.

Dustin stepped into the bathroom and flicked on the light. A soft yellow glow slipped out through the crack of the open door, chasing the darkness from the bedroom, but not my heart. I stayed in bed, my feet pulled up under me, my arms wrapped around my legs.

“Sweetheart, you were wiped out last night,” Dustin said from the bathroom. “And that cocktail you drank really knocked you out. It’s easy not to remember if you closed the window.”

The toilet flushed and the faucet ran. Dustin returned to the room. “You should stop driving yourself crazy. Jude is gone forever.”

“But these weird things keep happening. I can’t explain them.” I bit my lip. I wanted to believe him, but something inside me hesitated.

“What weird things?” Dustin climbed back under the duvet and so did I.

I sighed. “Nothing.” I wanted to tell him about the unmade bed, the feeling of being watched, but suddenly it all sounded too ridiculous in my head. It had been two years. If Jude were still alive somehow, he would have shown up sooner. “I’m being paranoid.”

Dustin wrapped his arms around me again, sliding me toward him. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore. This life that you’re living now, Haley? It’s all yours. No one will ever control it again. Go back to sleep, my love.”

I buried my face in the hollow of his neck, breathing him in. I couldn’t tell him that even though I had moved on, even though I had started my life over from scratch and succeeded, I still felt that from the grave, Jude was controlling me. I could never let down my guard completely. My OCD was getting the better of me lately, and the nightmares made it hard to relax. Fortunately, the nightmares only tended to attack me when Dustin was not around. Maybe because I felt safer with him near.

I had put Dustin through so much already. For the sake of our relationship, I had to continue pretending to be fine. I didn’t want my memories of Jude to ruin what we had. Jude was gone. Everything I was seeing was in my head, my subconscious mind sabotaging my happiness.

“You make it all better.” I kissed his warm neck. As if a light had been switched on, I thought of what Jude had done to those prostitutes, the infinity symbols carved into the hollows of their necks.

Even after all this time, everything reminded me of him. When would it all end? When would I allow myself to let him go? I wanted to so badly. I wanted it for me. I wanted it for Dustin. He had been patient long enough. He had given me all the time I needed to heal, but I was still holding back.

Two years was a long time. Time to move on, to take the next step. Dustin was far from the man Jude had been. Dustin would never try to break me.

“Are you sleeping?” I smiled in the dark.

“You’re clearly not. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes. I’ve been thinking about your offer,” I said.

“My offer? What conclusion have you come to?”

I pulled back and looked into his face, even if it was too dark to see his expression.

“The answer is yes. I want us to live together.” I paused. “On one condition.”

Giving up my own space wouldn’t come easy. My two-bedroom apartment had been all mine for two years, the length of time Dustin and I had been officially dating. He'd asked me on several occasions to move into his house with him. When I declined the first time, with the excuse that a mansion reminded me too much of Jude's house, he said we could buy a smaller place that was all ours. I declined that offer too. But the reality was that we spent so many nights together, both at his place and mine, it already felt as if we lived together. We only needed to make it official.

“Whatever you want. Name it.” Dustin pressed his face to mine.

“
You
move in with me. Come and stay here.” I was willing to move on from my demons, but this apartment had become my haven and I was hesitant to let it go. “We can take our time looking for a new place of our own.”

He lifted himself up on one elbow. “You know that doesn’t have to take time, right? A few phone calls and we’d have the keys to our own home in a matter of hours or days.”

There were times I forgot the powerful connections Dustin had. He lived such a normal life, far from that of the billionaire he was. Flaunting his wealth and power was not in his DNA. The few times I’d felt the impact of his success were usually when we went away on holiday together. He treated everyone with respect, often tipping staff in hotels and restaurants more than they earned in a month. I loved his generosity. But the man that made my heart race was the normal guy lying next to me, the man who didn’t call a plumber to fix a leaky faucet or a clogged toilet because he preferred to do it himself.

“I get that. But I need to spend a little more time here first. Let me make you a promise.” I touched his face. “Move in here for six months. Six months and then we can move into a place of our own.”

“You sure you don’t just want to move into my house?”

“No,” I said without hesitation. “Your house is way too big for the two of us.”

“Okay. I’ll take your offer. I’ll move in after my conference in Dubai.” Dustin pulled me close and ran a hand down my back until it reached my butt. He pulled me closer, his erection pushing hard against my stomach. “I think this calls for celebration, don’t you?”

Chapter Six

Baby photo shoots were my favorites. They could be challenging when a baby wouldn’t stop crying, but they were also full of magic. It only took a gurgle or a gummy smile to bring back the magic of the moment.

As I walked out of a lakeside cottage where I had photographed a one-month-old boy, I glanced at my watch. I was running late. Inside my car, I gave Becca a call and she picked up on the first ring.

“I'll be at your place in five,” she said. “I finished my shift early.”

“I'll be there in fifteen,” I said. “I'm so sorry. The baby had just woken from his nap and he wasn't in the mood for flashing lights.”

“Can't do anything about that. I'll hang around outside, watching people.”

“Make sure not to stare too long.” I paused as I watched a man cross the street. He was walking in the opposite direction, so I couldn't see his face, but he wore a black suit and his dark brown hair shone in the bright summer sunlight.

My spine chilled and my throat tightened. My free hand gripped the steering wheel as if it would help me hang on to my sanity.

“Haley, are you there?”

I swallowed hard and moved the phone to my other ear, because my right hand was slippery with sweat. “Yeah… yeah, I'm here.”

I was seeing things again. Jude couldn’t be alive. No way. What was wrong with me?

“You okay? You were awfully quiet for a moment there.”

The man turned, waving at someone coming from my direction.

My lungs almost collapsed with relief. It wasn't him. I forced a smile even though my heart was still racing. “I'm okay. I'll see you in a bit.”

***

“Your mind is fucking with you big time,” Becca said, pouring herself a glass of wine.

I placed my empty box of Chinese takeout on the kitchen table and massaged my temples. “Now that Garrett is no longer helping me through my issues, I think my mind is taking revenge.”

Becca laughed. “You got it. But anyone who went through the shit you did would act the same way. That Jude was one sick bastard.” She took a sip. “When I read about the murders, I almost peed in my pants with relief that I left Allure before he came along.”

I gazed at her for a moment. “I'm so glad you left that business, Becca. Some people never do.”

Becca touched my arm. “After you left, I felt alone somehow. Bruno was beside himself with anger when I gave my notice.”

“I’m so happy we both get to do what we love now.”

She put down her glass and turned to me. “Let's make a pact. Let's promise to never look back. Let's promise to focus on what we have now, how much we have accomplished.”

“You're right.” I took both her hands in mine. “Let's do that. I promise not to let my mind fuck with me anymore.” I laughed. “Time to show it who's boss.”

“That's the spirit, girl.” She clasped her hands. “I promise to try to get rid of the guilt of talking you into going all the way with the clients, and putting you in the line of danger.”

“Yes, you have to let that go.”

“Okay. So, we've made our pact. I guess the only thing left to do is feast on popcorn and watch some movies.”

We moved to the living room and settled ourselves on the sofa for our girls’ night in. As Becca reached for the remote, I thought I saw a shadow flit past the doorway to the living room. I shook my head, forcing myself to ignore the dread swirling in the pit of my stomach.

An hour into the romantic comedy I still felt uneasy, and kept glancing at the door and windows every few minutes.

I could only relax after I snuck away under the pretense of going to the bathroom, and did a quick sweep of the house. I found no one there, nothing suspicious.

I sighed with relief and returned to the living room.

Jude was six feet under. He could no longer harm me. If only the knots inside my stomach would unravel.

“Dustin and I are going to Stony Creek this weekend,” I told Becca when the credits began to roll. “I have a shoot there and he has some ranch work to do.”

“A billionaire getting his hands dirty. What’s sexier than that?” Becca reached for the popcorn. “How do you feel about going back there?”

“As if I’ll be traveling back in time. But I’ll be fine.”

One thing still made me uneasy. Jude was dead, but his brother, Nolan, was still alive. What if he was hungry for revenge?

But he would never come out of hiding. No way would he risk paying for his brother’s crimes.
 

Chapter Seven

“You look serious,” Dustin said. “Didn’t you get any good shots last night?”

I brought my camera closer to his face. “The shots are great.”

Sunday at Dustin’s ranch in Stony Creek had come to an end and we had just gone to bed.

Last night, I had photographed a small but romantic wedding at a ranch not too far from Dustin’s. It had been a tough decision to accept the assignment. I hadn't been at the ranch for almost two years, avoiding diving straight into the painful memories.

But after talking to Becca, I was more determined than ever to challenge myself, to prove I was strong enough to move on completely. But the knot in my stomach was still tight and unwilling to let go.

I sat up in bed and clicked through the frames. “See, beautiful pictures. But…” I stopped at a particular photo that didn’t belong. “This… I don't remember taking it.”

Dustin kissed my arm. “You must have. You don't let anyone near your precious camera.”

“It's the last photo in the bunch, Dustin. Do you recognize the place?”

Dustin yawned and clasped his hands behind his head. “Sure. The barn.”

“Exactly. When did I have time to go to the barn last night?”

After the old barn burned down, Dustin had helped build another one in its place. It looked almost identical. He forbade his ranch hands from storing any kinds of flammable products inside.

I took a walk over there on Friday, when we arrived in town, to prove to myself that I wasn't afraid of the past. But I didn't have my camera with me then.

“It doesn't make sense.” I looked at the photo again, zooming in.

Dustin took the camera from me and returned it to its bag. When he came back to bed he pulled me to him, nuzzling my neck.

After a heartbeat he drew back and searched my gaze, held it. “You've been thinking about him a lot lately, haven't you?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “I keep getting this feeling that something’s not right. On one hand I know he's dead and buried, but inside my mind, he's still alive.”