Broken Illusions (His Agenda Volume 3) (6 page)

“They’re willing to pay well for it.”

“They better. Your work is amazing.”

I often showed my work to Dustin before handing it over to my clients. He was always willing to look at the final photos and give me his opinion, and never had anything negative to say about them. He was so impressed that he often carried my business cards around to hand over to his business partners looking for a photographer. Since most of the people he rubbed shoulders with were loaded, I always made good money off them, and in turn they recommended me to their own friends and relatives. Quiet months were rare for me these days.

Dustin was the perfect partner. He didn’t want me to remain the small person Jude had made me. He wanted me to be the best I could be. And being my best for Dustin helped me see past the weak person I had once been and embrace the strong woman I had become.

Chapter Fifteen

Before heading over to the lake, we had a late dinner at the Lux Hotel restaurant. It was a somber event; my mind was running wild with thoughts of my past.

How would my life have turned out if I hadn’t agreed to have sex with a client that night? Which course would I be on now if I had not chosen to work for Bruno at all? Would I still have ended up here, with Dustin? Would Jude still have found me and destroyed my life?

So many unanswered questions. In the end, I forced myself to shut off the spotlight shining on the past and focus on Dustin and our romantic night ahead.

“You hardly ate anything. Are you okay?” he asked, sipping his water.

I smiled and looked down at my full plate. “I’m just not hungry. I ate a big meal at my meeting.”

He leaned forward and took my hands. “I can tell when you’re lying, you know.”

I sighed and squeezed his hands. “You know me too well.” I paused and looked around the almost empty restaurant. Many people were already at the lake. “It’s hard not to think about it.”

“It will always be hard. Just live your life. One day it will be less painful.” He winked. “Take it one step at a time. Start with being here with me.”

“I am. I promise. No more talk of the past. At least not tonight.”

This was exactly why I couldn’t tell Dustin about all the weird things that had been happening around me in the past few weeks. His tone of voice told me everything. He wanted to be there for me, to help me heal, but he also wanted us to move on from the pain. I was finding it hard to let go of that pain and all my fears, but I couldn’t tell him that. I didn’t want him to worry, didn’t want to put our lives on hold. 

Still, something was eating at me. I had no idea what. It was more than pain, more than fear. It was a deep-rooted dread that something was not right, the kind of knot in the stomach that never goes away, no matter what. Even after two years, I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“We better get going. We only have two hours before the sprinkling of the petals.” I lifted my napkin from my lap and placed it on the table.

“I think you’re right.” Dustin’s gaze moved from my eyes to my breasts. “Have I told you how fuckin’ sexy you look tonight?”

“About a hundred times.” I often preferred my comfortable jeans and t-shirts, but tonight I’d wanted to look nice for him.

I wore a peach lace cocktail dress with a plunging neckline that didn’t leave much to the imagination. He had bought the dress for me when he’d traveled to Milan last year. Instead of heels, I wore cute matching ballerinas, to make walking around at the lake a little easier.

“Well, you better get used to it because you’re going to hear it a hundred more times.” He waved for the waiter and paid for our meal. Even though Dustin was a billionaire, I still felt bad for wasting my food, so I asked for a to-go box. Dustin raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

The waiter bowed to Dustin as we left. As we were about to step out of the rotating doors of the hotel, Dustin pulled me back into the lobby and told me to wait as he talked to one of the receptionists.

“I want to show you something,” he said when he returned to me. He took my arm and led me to the elevators.

“Dustin, we’ll be late. Your mother is waiting for us to pick her up.”

“Two hours is a long time. If we’re late, we’ll just take the jet there. Of course, it would be almost impossible to find a place to land.” He laughed and wrapped a hand around my waist, pulling me close to his side.

“You’re a silly man. What do you want to show me anyway?”

The elevator arrived and he guided me inside. “You’ll see soon enough.”

The doors slid shut and the buttons of the individual floors flashed green one after the other, and then the elevator stopped. It took a moment for me to realize that Dustin was the one who had halted it.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. “I booked us a room for ten minutes, but I can’t wait to get there. You’re too hot. I need to have you right this minute. If you’ll have me.”

“Oh my God. You are insatiable, Mr. Brannon.” Even as I said the words, I was kissing him hard on the lips.

Within moments he was pulling my dress up my legs and pushing my lacy panties down my thighs. My breath caught in my throat and my pulse raced as he pushed me against the cool mirrors of the elevator wall. Somewhere in my mind I prayed no one would notice the elevator had stopped and do something about it. This moment, this breathtaking moment with Dustin, had to be explored. It was the first time we would be making love outside the bedroom, and oh God, I couldn’t wait.

My knees were trembling, my breathing was ragged, my insides melting as he explored my mouth with his tongue, pushed my legs apart, and swept me off the ground. My juices were already flowing when I wrapped my legs around him. Before I could take my next breath, he entered me, pushing deeper and deeper until I screamed into his shoulder. He pushed even deeper and harder until I felt I would burst into flames.

I came first, and then he followed, groaning deep inside his throat while still sliding his hard, smooth cock in and out. Then he withdrew and brushed my lips with a kiss.

With a mischievous grin on his face, he zipped up his pants, then pulled my panties up and my dress down. He even tidied my hair, then his.

“Don’t say a word,” he said and pushed a button. The elevator moved again but we were heading back down. I couldn’t stop giggling as he handed the key back to the receptionist, telling him we’d had a change of plans.

“That was amazing, by the way,” he said as he started the car. “We should do it again sometime.”

“I agree.” With one sexy move, Dustin had yet again sent my fears and worries packing. The only thing I felt right now was the throbbing between my legs as I remembered the feel of him. It was amazing how good my life could be, even with a dark cloud over my head.

***

The festival was more fun than I had expected. The people scattered along the banks of Serendipity Lake were having too much fun to care about me being there—at least, that was how it seemed. Parents played with their kids, older people sat on folding chairs enjoying their drinks, teenagers ate burgers and hot dogs while sitting on picnic blankets and gazing at the water.

Rachel had brought a picnic basket and blanket, choosing not to join us on Dustin’s boat. She wanted to catch up with some friends.

As Dustin and I strolled barefoot along the bank, holding hands, I felt like I belonged to a community again. When someone passed us and said hello, I didn’t question their motives, didn’t ask if they were being sincere. I let my hair down and let myself enjoy the night with the man I loved.

The edges of the small white boat were decorated with blooms and in the middle stood two white buckets filled with fresh red and white rose petals. They smelled like heaven.

Dustin helped me into the boat and we sat on white padded seats.

“This is so beautiful,” I said, eyeing the champagne. I had been opposed to drinking alcohol for a long time, but lately I enjoyed a glass of wine or champagne now and then. I had long decided that one glass wouldn’t turn me into the alcoholic my mother had been.

“I’m glad you like it.” Dustin kissed me and held my face between his hands for a moment. “I’m so proud of you. And man, am I proud to call you my girl.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

When the clock struck midnight, we were out in the middle of the lake. Together we threw our petals overboard along with everyone else on shore and in their own boats. People cheered and music played, and happiness permeated the air and seeped into my bones.

I felt joy, love, freedom. I prayed the feeling would stay with me for as long as possible, that it would follow me into the new day, the next week, the next month, and maybe longer. I didn’t want to let it go. I would clutch on to the happiness that had landed in my lap, even when I didn’t believe I deserved it. Even when I knew it wouldn’t last.

Chapter Sixteen

I drove down Cedar Street with the country music station at high volume, on my way home from a quick meal with Becca—at the Serendipity Memorial cafeteria—before she started her night shift.

Feeling free and happy, I opened the window and filled my lungs with fresh summer air. I felt alive again, as if the weight of my problems had rolled off my shoulders. I was never one to sing along to the radio, but this time I did. I didn’t care that my singing voice was like nails on a blackboard, at least to my own ears. I sang anyway.

When I glanced in the rearview mirror I caught sight of a police car behind me, its lights flashing. I frowned as sirens filled the air. Were they headed somewhere else, or were they pulling me over? I glanced at the road ahead and then behind. At this time of night, it was clear of other cars.

I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was not speeding, not drunk, and not even driving too slow—if that could even be a problem. My only crime was being happy for the first time in a while. I smiled as I slowed down. To be honest, being happy had seemed like a crime in the past few years. As soon as I even attempted to feel it, it was snatched away and I was punished somehow. But tonight, no one would taint my mood. I would hold on to these good feelings no matter what came my way.

The police car neared the rear of my car and I got the message. I was the one on their radar.

I shook my head as I slowed down even more and brought the car to a halt on the shoulder. The police car stopped behind mine and the door opened.

I watched in the rearview mirror as the cop walked in slow strides toward my car. He was tall and seemed to be well built underneath his uniform. I had always found uniforms sexy on men.
I should ask Dustin to try one on for fun one of these days.

Sand and gravel crunched under the cop’s boots as he got closer.

He lowered himself to my open window and my breath froze in my lungs. My heart almost exploded and beads of sweat popped up on my forehead.

I tried to scream, to move, to drive, but the sudden coldness that hit my core at the sight of him froze both my body and mind.

“Have you missed me?” Jude said in that low, dangerous voice. Underneath his cap his eyes were intense and triumphant. He looked groomed and distinguished, the way he had looked the day I saw him for the first time. The hair that peeked from underneath the cap seemed slightly lighter than I remembered, but the gun-metal blue of his eyes, his strong jaw, and his full lips were unmistakable. The musk in his cologne caused the same reaction in me as always—disgust and fear. It was him, no doubt about it. But surely this couldn’t be real. How could he be alive when he had died two years ago? He had burned to death! How was it even possible? Was I going crazy?

“Get out,” he said, his face contorting with anger. “Did you think you would get away with misbehaving for this long? Time for your punishment.”

When I didn’t move—I couldn’t—he reached for the handle himself and yanked the door open.

Then he reached into the car and gripped my forearm. The strength to fight returned to me in bursts. I fought him tooth and nail, kicking and yanking, scratching at his skin, but he was too strong for me. Before I knew it, I was out of the car and flat on my back on the gravel, the small stones drilling into my skin through the thin fabric of my satin top.

As I continued to fight him, he slapped me hard across the face and threw himself on top of me, pinning me down by the arms.

Then he reached down to unzip his pants and I opened my mouth and screamed. I slammed my eyes shut, wishing it would all turn out to be a bad dream when I opened them again.

In that moment something changed. I felt lighter, and the pain in my back disappeared. I no longer heard sirens or smelled his cologne.

My eyes flew open. I was in bed. I sobbed and sobbed, relief soaking through me. Jude was dead and gone. He could no longer hurt me. Even as that reality settled into my mind, I continued crying into my pillow, the ache inside my chest bleeding and raw again. It was just a nightmare, but it had felt so real. My heart was still thumping and the sensation of his hand on my forearm remained with me.

After crying for at least an hour, I got out of bed and took a long, hot shower. Then I sat on the edge of my bed for a long time, staring into space. 3 a.m. was too early to get started with my day, but going back to sleep was not an option. Not tonight. Nor was calling Dustin to seek comfort. I didn’t want to worry him when he was so far away in Dubai.

But there was no way I’d be able to shake off the nightmare unless I talked to someone about it. Feeling guilty for disturbing her at work, I tried Becca.

“We’re friends, you can call me anytime. If I don’t pick up, I’ll call you back. I was about to have my break, anyway. What’s up? Your voice sounds strained.”

I sighed. “I dreamed of Jude.”

“And it’s normal for you to do that. Your subconscious is still hung up on him.”

“I know. It’s just that… this time it felt too real.” I ran a hand through my damp hair and glanced at the window to make sure it was still closed. “It was so different from the other times.”