Broken Promise (The Broken Ones Book 3) (30 page)

These weren't the arms she wanted to be
holding her. She wished she could move and push him away.

She found the power within her almost
gone, though some fury remained. Her mind was the usual foggy mess so she found
no escape there. She couldn't find her boys, couldn't speak to them. How long had
she slept? Searching deep inside, she panicked when she couldn't find Kei. Memories
of the darkness returned, filling her with a chilling dreadful horror.

Had she…died?

Had her death broke all of her bonds? Her
terror and panic increased as she searched frantically for Kei, until finally she
found the spark of their connection and latched onto it tightly. The muted pain
and sorrow she felt from him brought tears to her eyes.

Eventually her body ceased to tremble
and her control began to return. Shifting her stiff body, she tipped her head
up. Lit lamps on the bedside tables gave her enough light to see Roan's
sleeping face.

The lamplight cast him in a warm glow.
Asleep, the stern coldness she'd grown accustomed to disappeared. His hair a
tousled mess, he seemed so young and peaceful. She watched him silently, trying
to make sense of everything, of him. Should she trust him? After Baelan's
betrayal, she wasn't sure she ever could. Going over the past events in her
mind, she stiffened once more. Had he known about Baelan? Why had he kept the
Elf away from her, and then suddenly left her alone in his care? Did he intend
for him to kill her?

Yet…she lived. Had that been Roan's
doing, or something else? Why did he hold her now? Too many questions
ricocheted through her brain.

His eyes opened slowly and they stared
at each other for a long silent moment. The gentleness in those normally icy
eyes startled her.

"I'm not a pet."

"I'm quite aware of that."

"And I don't like games."

"Neither do I." His answer
still didn't explain why he kept her in his bed, or why he held her now. Perhaps
he hadn't known of Baelan's intentions. He smiled softly and her breath caught
in her throat. Where had the angry pirate gone?

"Do you love me, Roan?" She
hadn't just asked him that out loud? Rot.

However, the question made him chuckle.
"No, I lost my heart to another long ago. But perhaps I've started to like
you just a bit."

The amusement in his tone made her
smile.

"And have you fallen in love with
me?"

"No, but I might like you a bit,
too."

"Fair enough."

He shook his head slightly. "If I
were human, I'd have a head full of gray hairs right now, thanks to you."

"I did warn you."

"So you did." He rolled onto
his back, yet kept one arm around her, holding her to his side.

If she had more energy, she'd punch him.

"He killed you," Roan said
softly, eyes locked on the canopy above them. "He gave you so much…your
heart stopped."

"What happened?"

He remained silent for a long moment,
his jaw working back and forth angrily, before turning to face her again.
"After you called me, I found him standing over you. Blood everywhere. He
didn't put up much of a fight."

"Did you kill him?"

"No. Shael can have that honor. I
chained him up and sent him to your prince along with the Elves we
killed."

She smiled at that. Prince would not go
easy on him.

"So, I tended your wounds, watched
over you. Watched you…die."

His voice wavered at the end and she
knew her death upset him. Yet, she wondered if it had more to do with losing
the power having her gave him. She kept her mouth closed and didn't ask.
"I came back," she said. "How is that possible?"

He raised his free hand and wiggled his
fingers. "A few surges of power got you going again. I'd seen it done
before."

"Hmm." Elf power? Strange,
none remained within her, though he hadn't given it to her, had he? "How
long have I slept?"

He shook his head. "About six
days."

Grimacing in frustration, she closed her
eyes. "That long?"

"Bo came." Her eyes snapped
open at that. "Was quite adamant he'd see you. You also had another
visitor." He paused. "The Dragos."

She winced. "I'm sorry. Was he
alone?"

Roan leaned back again. "Your Fey
wasn't with him, if that's what you're asking. He didn't stay long, or say
much."

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at the
side of his face. Liar. Damon
had
said something.

The arm beneath her shifted, and his
hand slid up and down along her shoulder, making her tense. "Your wound is
healing well." She relaxed again, still feeling a bit numb, she'd
forgotten about getting shot. "Why did you do that, Arowyn?" Before she
could answer, he continued, his voice still soft and huskier than usual.
"I am immortal; you are not. It is unlikely the arrow would have killed
me."

At the time, she hadn't really thought
of that. She made light of the situation. "I can't believe no one's ever
tried to protect you, surrounded by guards as you are."

"They have, but I know why they
did. As you so like to tell me, I am not your lord or captain."

She remained silent for a while, trying
to figure out the answer herself. "Perhaps you are my friend," she
finally answered softly.

"Friend?" He chuckled and
shook his head. She had no idea what he found amusing.

Silence drew out for a while, though
wasn't really uncomfortable. She concentrated on getting feeling back into her
body and clearing her mind. Roan just stared thoughtfully into nothing.

"What did you see when you
died?"

The sudden question startled her. Before
she could answer, her world ended.

Deepest black.

Utter silence.

As quickly as it came, she found herself
back in bed. A memory? If so, it'd felt so real a cold shiver raced down her
spine.

Roan glanced over at her.

"It was dark…and quiet," she
finally said softly. "Was I…gone long?"

"No, not for too long." His
eyes searched hers. "Was it painful?"

"No. Not at all. It was…" She
paused, searching for a word. "Peaceful."

He looked away. "We know," he
began after another quiet moment, "we have souls. We feel them within us.
We can see and sense those we are mated to. We know our bodies return to the
earth, as does our magic. But our souls…what becomes of them?"

"You're asking me?" She found
the thought strangely funny. She wasn't immortal and was barely seventeen. What
did she know of death…oh. "I don't know. Maybe I hadn't gotten to that
part yet."

He nodded slightly. "True. The soul
stays with the body for a little while. If you'd gone on, I'd not have been
able to bring you back and we'd not be having this conversation."

"Double-edged sword."

"Yes," he agreed quietly.

She searched his face, concerned at the
defeat in his voice. Why such questions? About to ask, she stopped suddenly.
Why did she keep forgetting about his lost mate? "I'm sorry I can't answer
your questions."

A short bark of a laugh erupted out of
him. "It matters not. We live. We die."

Thinking of death, another thought
occurred to her. "How many…" She stopped and started again. "How
are your men?"

The cold mask returned to his face.
"I lost four that day. Two others have died since."

Taking a slow breath to calm the pain
his words caused, she closed her eyes and nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It is a risk they take. You should
understand this."

"I do. I just…feel
responsible," she said quietly.

"So you should."

She winced.

He stretched. "I suppose we should
get up. Time to start all over again."

His words set a dark melancholy over
her. She'd come so far and now was worse off than before. "How much time
do I have? If you're leaving soon–"

"Don't worry about that. We'll deal
with it when the time comes if we must."

How could she not worry? She didn't want
to spend the rest of winter here.

Now more than ever she needed to train,
grow stronger, and beat her addiction to the riath. She needed to get away from
Roan, whether he'd meant her harm or not, and the sooner the better.

The next few weeks were not going to be
pleasant.

Chapter 26

Becoming

The morning did not start out well.
After waiting for Roan to get up and dressed, she got up as well. She fell flat
on her face, having forgotten how weak she actually was after so long in bed. She'd
also forgotten about her injuries.

As she cursed and clutched her shoulder,
Roan shook his head. "Fight and you'll get hurt. That's the way of it."

Picking her up none too gently, he continued
to lecture her as he carried her into the bathroom and set her down by the
privy. He carried her back to bed when she was done. After he propped her up
and set a tray of food on her lap, she shook her head. In a way, it was
amusing. It also wasn't Roan.

"Go do your work. I'm fine."

Placing his hands on his hips, he stared
down at her, the familiar stern frown back on his face.

"Thank you," she added.
"If I need you, I'll ask."

The polite words mollified him somewhat,
and he left her alone. She did ask him if he could send word to Prince.
Unsurprisingly, he already had. Or so he said. Not knowing how much to trust
him gave her a headache.

Aya later helped her with a bath and
changing her bandages. At least the wounds were healing well from the power she
let loose. She'd have some new scars, but didn't really care.

∞ ∞ ∞

"You haven't been sleeping
well."

Looking up from her plate of food, she
shrugged. At least she'd grown strong enough to eat with him at his desk now.

The first few days, she needed him more
than she wanted to. The need for riath came quickly and often. Overwhelming
relief her pack bond with the boys remained kept her from fighting with him too
much. Once her mind cleared she could speak with them again, yet hadn't made
plans to meet yet. Being once again so dependent on the drug, she was either
too weak or about to go into withdrawal again.

"Proper sleep is important. You
need it to recover," he continued.

Holding in a sigh, she fought to hold in
an angry response. If it wasn't about her sleep, it was about how she needed to
eat more, drink more, stretch more, try harder.

"I usually don't sleep well. It's
fine."

"Always? Or since you were taken as
a slave?"

"Since then," she snapped out.

He raised a hand, waving off her anger.
"I'm trying to help. I've some stake in the matter as well."

"Then get me my own rotting
bed!"

He chuckled, but shook his head.
"If you need me, I must know immediately."

True. However, she hadn't…well, except
for when she'd died and the nights the need for riath became intolerable. She
took an angry bite out of a piece of bread.

"Tell me what the problem is,
perhaps I can help and we can both get some rest."

Of course he didn't ask just for her
sake. "I have dreams sometimes. Nightmares," she amended quietly.

"Of?"

She so very much didn't want to talk
about it. However, she also knew he wasn't going to let the matter drop.
"My family. Being in chains, being beaten, watching the ones I love
die."

The irritation faded from his face. He
sighed, rubbing his eyes. "You were screaming last night."

"That was the wolf dream." His
eyebrows rose so she continued. "I'm running and the largest wolf I've
ever seen is chasing me. The Were king, I imagine. The fury in his eyes is
terrifying enough, but then he catches me and…and tears me to pieces."

Roan's silence drew her attention back
to him. He sat there, staring down at his clenched fists.

"It's just a dream," she said
quietly. She paused a moment, realizing why he looked angry. She still hadn't
found a way to deal with the king. "I'll figure it out. There's still
time."

"Do you fear him so much?"

Looking away, she shrugged a shoulder,
not wanting to admit such weakness to him.

His fist slammed on the desk, startling
her. "You dream of him tearing your throat out!"

"I… He leads the Were. If he stands
against me, how am I to heal the Fey? They roam the same lands the Were do.
Even with my family by my side, I won't be able to do it. And I…I need to do
this."

"I will take care of it."

Her eyes widened in shock. He'd what?

"I said I would protect you–"

"From the Elves," she
interrupted. "This is a whole other matter."

"Do you think I can't? Haven't I–"
He stopped abruptly.

"What? Protected me from the Elves?
From Baelan?" She didn't mean to sound bitter or angry, but his sudden
outburst irritated her.

"You have no idea what I did to
keep you safe all those months. None!" She reared back from his anger, but
he kept going. "The time and money I spent to keep you hidden, to stall
his plans and attacks. You don't–" He stopped abruptly and sat wearily
back in his chair. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he let out a deep breath.
"I broke my promise to protect you, and for that, I am sorry."

His apology took her by surprise. "Promises
get broken all the time, Roan," she said softly.

"Do you fear the Vor?"

The sudden change in topic startled her.
With a grin, she shook her head. "Monsters I can handle just fine."

Shaking his head in amusement, a faint
smile appeared. "Perhaps one day I'll fight them with you."

Once again, he surprised her. She tipped
her head, acknowledging his offer. "Perhaps you will. At least you aren't
hiding behind the wardwall."

His lips twisted at that and she wasn't
sure if she'd offended him or not. "Eat your dinner, Arowyn."

∞ ∞ ∞

Aro kept her cloak wrapped tightly
around her as she walked swiftly between Silas and Raythe. She blamed the wind
for her stinging eyes, though her hood blocked most of it.

Finally, after over a week, she'd been
well enough to meet Bo and Garen again. It hadn't been seeing them that brought
her near to tears, but their reactions to her. She'd forgotten the pack bond
did more than allow them to communicate. Her boys had known she'd died, even if
only for a brief time. Bo had nearly broken her ribs again, he held her so
tightly. Garen had been unable to keep still, milling around her and pushing
his face against her. The mournful canine cry he'd uttered broke her heart.

They hadn't spoken much, mostly she'd
told them what happened, and how she faired now, which wasn't very well really,
though she'd tried to make light of the fact. They weren't stupid, however, and
the pity in their eyes stung. They'd nearly completed preparing the house, not
that she'd be ready for some time to come. Torn between sadness and
frustration, she didn't know whether to allow herself to cry or to just scream.

She wanted to go home, now that she had
one. A shiver ran through her and her fingers twitched. Cursing under her
breath, she quickened her step.

Raythe awkwardly patted her shoulder. She
shrugged it off and gritted her teeth. The Were twins hadn't changed much
toward her since she'd fought, though they did make more time to speak with
her. Roan's men didn't seem to know what to do or say around her.

"Is there anything I can do,
miss?"

She shook her head at Raythe's quiet
question.

When they returned to the house, even
her wandering mind couldn't distract her from seeing something was wrong. The
men in the common room sat quietly, shifting uneasily as she and the twins
walked by.

She cast a glance at Raythe as they
walked down the hall.
What is it?

The captain is in a foul mood.
He shrugged a
shoulder.
Happens now and then, if things don't go as he plans.

His words nearly sent her turning in the
opposite direction. The Roan she'd come to know was bad enough. She clenched
and unclenched her fists, trying to get rid of the restless feeling in them.
Dealing with him right now wasn't something she felt up to doing.
Do you
know why?

He glanced at her and then away.
He'll
tell you, if he thinks you should know.

She gritted her teeth. Roan didn't ever
tell her much. Being left in the dark made her rather irritated. If it was
business related, then fine, he could keep his secrets. If it had something to
do with her, she'd pull the information out of him with her teeth if she needed
to.

The brothers left her at the door and she
murmured a thank you before she entered.

Roan sat at his desk, though wasn't
working. Leaning back in his chair, elbow propped on the arm, his chin rested
in his hand. He didn't look up when she entered. He did look lost in thought,
though from the scowl on his face they weren't happy ones.

Placing her cloak on a hook, she cursed
when it slipped off. Picking it up, she angrily jammed it back on. She hadn't
been in the best mood before she returned. Why did some people so easily spread
their foul moods? She pushed back at the fury stirring within her and took a
slow, measured breath.

"You seem to always come back in a
worse mood than you left," he said quietly.

Turning, she held her tongue against an
angry comment. "I miss them," she said instead. Catching her mistake,
she continued, "Bo and Elaina, and…everyone." She shrugged and smiled
weakly. "What are you angry about today?"

He snorted and dropped his hand.
"Many things. Though I wouldn't say angry is the correct word." She
waited, shifting restlessly, until he continued. "For one, I lost a
ship."

Her eyebrows rose. "Did someone
sink it? When you tried to take theirs, I mean." At his confused look, she
frowned. "You
are
a pirate. Isn't that what you do?"

A brief laugh escaped him. "Not
often. Mostly I trade."

"But everyone says you're such a
fierce and deadly pirate."

"I can be, but it's often more
trouble than it's worth. You should know by now having a reputation that works
in your favor is not something to dismiss or deny."

Staring at him, she wondered what else she
thought she knew about him was a lie.

"Did you eat?"

"No."

"You never do, perhaps that is why
you are cranky. Dinner will arrive shortly."

She nodded once and headed for the
sitting area.

"There are things we need to
discuss," he said as she passed his desk.

Stopping abruptly, she turned to face
him. "Such as?"

"You are not recovering as quickly.
How much power do you have left?"

Another sore spot with her.
"None," she answered flatly.

Grimacing, he shook his head. "I
figured as much."

"I told you, I–"

He waved a hand, dismissing her words.
"What Baelan did has taken much from you, I understand. I'd thought you
may have been stronger, considering how you fought."

"That was different," she said
after a moment.

He sat up. "How?"

Hadn't she told him this? She couldn't
remember. "That was the fury. I can separate it from the power."

He regarded her so long she started to
twitch. "And you still have fury within you?"

"Yes, but it's not the same."

"Of course it is," he snapped.
"Fury is power, just put to a certain specific use. You can use it."

Looking away, she shook her head.
"That wouldn't be a good idea."

"The fury is connected to the Fey.
It may even do more to help you than raw power did. If you let it all out–"

"No." The idea of letting the
fury out without Kei around frightened her. She still hadn't managed to completely
master it all the time. If it got out of control, she didn't know what she'd
do. Kei always brought her back, and he wasn't here.

He cursed and ran a hand through his
hair. "Then you will have to come with me when I leave."

Her eyes widened and she clenched her
fists. "That wasn't our agreement!"

"You won't be free of it in time,
and I can't delay my departure for you."

"You don't have to. Bo can give it
to me."

He snorted. "He is human, with clumsy
hands and human senses. He has no idea how to judge what to give you, or
measure out such small amounts."

"Then I'll find someone who
can."

"You will come with me."

"I will not!" Even though the
thought he goaded her on purpose crossed her mind, she couldn't stop the fury
rising within her.

"It will be safer,
considering…"

Her voice rose as she lunged forward and
slammed her hands down on the desk. "Considering what?"

"It is possible Baelan did not
reach his destination."