Brutal Obsession (The Safeguard Series, Book One) (19 page)

“No, it wasn’t only you,” Keane informed her with caution, pulling a chair out from the kitchen table and taking a seat. He started composing a text message. “Jarod Garner is the one who called in SSI to protect you.”

“But no one knew that.” Ashlyn recalled Agent Coulter saying that her office had been cleared from any listening or audio devices. No one had known it was Jarod’s doing to bring in the services of a security firm with the exception of—

“Victor knew,” Keane answered for her, glancing up with concern. She wasn’t ready to accept a scapegoat as an answer, so she concentrated on turning on the burner and set the kettle on top of the stove. “No wonder Coulter feels comfortable with his chosen suspect.”

“It can’t be Victor. He isn’t that kind of person,” Ashlyn protested once again, still unable to bring herself into believing that the mild-mannered man could be responsible for such a grisly murder. She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms, willing the cold away that had settled into her bones. “I still think the FBI are all wrong on this one. It’s someone else.”

“Either way, we’re safe miles away from the city,” Keane reassured her. He’d sent his message and looked just as comfortable now as he did when Ashlyn would return to her hotel room after being in court each day all those years ago. It was wrong on so many levels for her to stand here at a time like this, recalling what he’d looked like without that shirt over his chest. She lifted a hand and pressed her thumb and finger against her eyes to wipe away the image. “I know it’s difficult for you to sit on the sidelines while someone else is in the thick of things, but this is hard for me too.”

“Because you want to be out there catching a killer or because you’re stuck here with me?” Ashlyn hadn’t meant to say that, but the words had flown out of her mouth before she could bite her tongue. “I’m sorry. There’s just a lot of unresolved…”

“Yes, there is.” Keane hadn’t moved from his place in the chair. Why, then, had the tone of his voice become more intimate? Ashlyn lowered her hand and admonished herself for being a coward. It wasn’t in her nature, so she met his heated gaze. Her heart accelerated at the implication of what he was telling her. “We haven’t had time to address the issue of
us
. I’m honestly not sure we should, because little has changed with the exception that I’m at a point in my life where I’m ready for more. I do know that I want you with just as much desire and validity as the day I met you walking into that courtroom.”

Ashlyn couldn’t prevent the memories from their time together from crashing over her like a tidal wave. She’d been working a case that had crossed multiple state lines, ending in California where the trial had taken place. The last thing she’d expected was to have an attraction to one of the LAPD SWAT members who’d come to testify against the last defendant standing.

One invitation for drinks had turned into a three-month long love affair, both of them agreeing it was a temporary fling that burned with the intensity of a lightning strike. Except they hadn’t stuck by the rules, had they? Every night Keane would show up at her hotel door until she’d finally given him his own key card and he would stay all night. She’d quickly gotten used to his presence, comforted by his voice, and addicted to his unique touch. Yet there had always been a side to him that was uncontrollable, a part of him that was just beyond her reach. He might have physically left behind the military, but his mental being had remained elusive. He craved the adrenaline only those combat tours had provided him and she hadn’t been enough to satisfy his needs.

“The things I said that day were…”

“The truth?” Keane asked, admitting in his own way she’d been right. He quietly set his phone on the table. “I wanted you. That was the truth. Was I ready to give up what was keeping me from going stir crazy? Was I ready to move to a different coast from where my family could drive down to see me on the weekends? Was I ready for any kind of marriage? No. And neither were you, at the time. I recall saying some mighty cruel words back in your direction, but we are both very passionate people who stand by our beliefs and our convictions.”

“Why now?” Ashlyn asked, needing to know what was different. He claimed he was, but what about her? She hadn’t realized just how lonely her life had become until now, when she’d had to hand over a list of friends. She’d sequestered herself away from everyone of consequence, just like those jurors when she suspected that they might be distracted when she asked them to make a life and death decision. Was that the way to live for any amount of time? Was that the kind of life she wanted for her future? She’d thought it was, but Keane had given up the one thing that had prevented him from having more. The possibilities were endless for him. “Why give up your career and move to another coast, away from your family?”

Ashlyn hadn’t realized just how still Keane had been until he leaned forward, startling her with his movements. She swore the heat of his gaze was going to consume her and it was as if the rest of the world and its problems faded away. The irresistible passion she’d come to crave was showing itself once again and she braced herself for the inevitable. She’d survived the conclusion once before, but she wasn’t so sure she had what it took to endure another tryst without giving up a part of herself…her heart was vulnerable.

“I was tired. So, so tired,” Keane admitted honestly with a shake of his head, spreading his hands in a helpless manner. He was anything but powerless, proving that with the life-altering decision he’d made recently. “I wanted a quieter life—one where I can still make a difference in people’s lives while finally having one of my own. I will always feel the pull, Ash. It’s continually there and it’s powerful, but I finally found a peace within myself after taking a fishing trip with my father. He hardly ever spoke of his time in Vietnam, but he finally shared with me what it was like and how he dealt with life after the war. It wasn’t easy for him. It’s never easy, no matter what kind of battle or war we face. We all change inside. The men and women who sacrifice a part of themselves for their country do not come back the same person as when they left. Returning home was the beginning of a healing process and something I needed to work out on my own. We met at a time when I was still adjusting to civilian life. Call it the wrong time or the wrong place, but fate eventually played out and now we find ourselves at another crossroads further down each other’s road.”

Ashlyn listened closely to every word Keane said, taking every one of them to heart. He didn’t blame her for the things she’d said, just as she didn’t fault him. The weight of shouldering culpability lifted slightly, but it wasn’t completely gone. It wouldn’t be erased until one of them decided to sever this passionate connection that had already grown roots.

Ashlyn wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore or if they even had the ability to claim what they once had, but she knew without a doubt that she didn’t want the cold existence she found herself living. Every time Keane touched her or held her, she found herself craving his heat like nothing else. No other man had ever warmed her soul the way he had and she didn’t want to lose that all over again without being honest with each other. Keane would go back to Florida when this was all said and done without so much as a cruel word if that’s what she wanted. She didn’t.

Fate had provided them another opportunity and Ashlyn truly believed this would be the only one given to them. Neither of them could see into the future of how this would all pan out, because it was up to them to make the decisions of how the rest of their lives were to proceed.

She wanted this. She wanted him. She wanted more than what she had.

“This crossroads you speak of,” Ashlyn said softly while taking a step forward, having already made up her mind. She had no idea where this path would lead them, but they deserved to see it through, given that they’d just witnessed how quickly mortality could be taken from them. Keane leaned back so he could look up at Ashlyn as she stopped directly in front of him. His brown eyes studied her with an intensity that stole her breath. “Which direction would you like to go?”

“Any route except the one that would lead us back to where we ended up.” Keane lifted his hand until he was able to intertwine his fingers with hers. He pulled her closer in between his legs so that she had to rest her other palm on his shoulder. Her heart raced as she comprehended the weight of the choice they had just made. Things would never be the same after tonight for either of them. “I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I’d like to find out, if you would do me the honor.”

Ashlyn never abandoned their connection as she drifted her fingers up his neck and cradled his jawline. The intimacy from such a simple act was overpowering. Her mind, body, and soul came alive as if they’d all been asleep for these five long years. Maybe they had been. She didn’t know for sure and she no longer wanted to dwell on it.

“I’d like to find out, too,” Ashlyn whispered, leaning down and brushing her lips softly across his. She lifted her lashes to see the gold flecks of his eyes shimmering with arousal. “Make love to me, Keane.”

*

He pounded his
fist against his forehead, wanting to erase the sordid images of what was taking place. He’d killed for her. He’d taken a life so they could have one of their own…together.

This is how she repaid him?

The FBI had no idea how far his reach went or the fact that he now knew exactly where Keane Sanderson had taken Ashlyn. Agent Coulter was too busy with his prime suspect to notice anything else, so he was free and clear to do as he pleased to whom he pleased.

What would please him more than Keane Sanderson’s blood?

He wanted to hurt Ashlyn the way she’d hurt him. She was no longer the woman he thought she was—no longer innocent.

She now needed to join the others who had disappointed him.

She didn’t know it yet, but he was coming for her and she would suffer as he had suffered.

‡

“T
here’s no walking
away when this case is over,” Keane warned her as he slowly stood and cradled her face in the palms of his hands. He drank in Ashlyn’s beauty, nothing as trivial as makeup inhibiting his view. Her long chestnut hair hung down her back in unrestrained waves as she tilted her head back and studied him with those stunning blue eyes of hers. He needed her to understand that they weren’t agreeing to anything that was casual like before. This was a different time and a different place. “We see where this leads, from beginning to end.”

“Agreed,” Ashlyn whispered, running her fingers through his hair and bringing him closer to her. Keane didn’t object in the least. “Now stop wasting time and take me.”

Keane smiled and instantly hoisted Ashlyn up so that her legs wrapped around his waist. He wanted nothing more than to take her to bed, but he needed to ensure her safety as well. That was paramount. He kissed her passionately as he walked over to where her weapon lay on the counter. Together, they took care of business without stopping what they were doing. She grabbed her firearm while he shut off the burner on the stove, preventing the kettle from whistling. He’d also put his cell phone in his back pocket in case Coen or Sawyer needed to get ahold of him.

It wasn’t long before Keane walked them toward the bedroom where Ashlyn had done nothing but toss and turn the first half of the night. He’d heard every sound the mattress made as she tried to get comfortable. Those two words—toss and turn—took on a new meaning as he stopped by the side of the bed and slowly lowered her feet to the ground. The rest of the night would pass by with much more pleasure, and hopefully by morning they would have an answer with Victor’s pending arrest.

Keane pushed away all thoughts regarding what was taking place in D.C. As it had been pointed out several times, he was only responsible for Ashlyn’s personal protection. She was safe and sound in his arms and he intended to keep her that way for the next several hours at the very least.