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T
aylor sipped her white wine and made small talk with Marc Spellman’s wife, Kathleen. A pretty brunette about Taylor’s age, Kathleen was busy making sure everyone felt welcome. Though the event was called a barbecue, the Spellmans had clearly spared no effort or expense. The food was beautifully catered, and the wrought-iron tables placed around the pool and on the lawn were perfectly decorated like something out of a Martha Stewart magazine. “Your house is beautiful,” Taylor murmured, “and I especially love your outdoor kitchen.”

“That’s my brother’s work,” Kathleen said, unable to keep the pride from her voice as she stopped a server so Taylor could get a crab cake. “He’s a genius. If you ever need any landscape design, you should talk to him.”

“Taylor actually has an amazing gardener.” Taylor turned to see Jenna, who hugged Kathleen like they were long-lost sisters. Suddenly, Taylor’s polite handshake seemed rather cold. “You should see him work.” Fortunately, the lascivious tone in Jenna’s voice was lost on Kathleen.

Their conversation continued, and Taylor tried to stay engaged as Jenna asked Kathleen about her children’s summer activities. But her thoughts kept wandering to Joe, wondering what he was doing right now. If he was having fun at his sister’s. She tried to imagine what his family was like. Close, probably, sharing an easy camaraderie and lots of laughter. Her gaze wandered over the guests, most of whom either invested in or worked at high-tech companies. They were clumped in small groups, mostly segregated by gender. The men discussed business, latest technology trends, and which company was about to either implode or go public. Taylor knew she should make her way over to them and impress them with her charm and knowledge of the industry.

Joe never cared what she had to say about the IPO market. In fact, Joe didn’t even know what company she worked at. Still, they never ran out of things to talk about, and she always got the sense that, unlike a lot of the men at this party, Joe was really listening when she spoke. Taylor was nearly overcome by the intense desire to see him to share a sunny weekend afternoon with him, to be laughing with him instead of trying to impress her colleagues and their wives with her perfect manners and business acumen.

“Hey, sis.” Taylor almost thought she had conjured his voice.

“Speak of the devil, there he is now,” Kathleen said, snapping Taylor out of her reverie.

She turned, and to her intense delight and horror, there was Joe. His smile faltered, then widened as he recognized her. “Taylor!”

The bottom dropped out of Taylor’s stomach as Kathleen looked back and forth between them with intense curiosity. Jenna sipped her wine, eyebrows raised, lips quirked in a smile that said she couldn’t wait to see how this all played out.

“You two know each other?” Kathleen asked. “How?”

I’ve been spent every night naked with him for the past
month.
Taylor knew she needed to seize control of the situation before the truth spilled out. Joe opened his mouth to reply, but before he could speak, Taylor said, “We’re neighbors. Joe, as it happens, lives right next door to me.” She looked at him, pleading with her eyes for him to stay silent about the rest.

His smile remained fixed, though his eyes went flat. “There’s a little more to it than that,” he said, sending a bolt of panic down Taylor’s spine. “I also just finished redesigning Taylor’s yard and patio.”

Taylor nearly wept with relief and somehow managed to say, “Yes, and he did an amazing job. Now I know why I was so impressed with your landscaping.”

Joe and Kathleen quickly settled into a discussion about their family, giving each other updates on parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews, leaving Taylor and Jenna with nothing to contribute. Jenna started up a conversation with an attorney who worked closely with their firm, while Taylor awkwardly hovered on the fringes of Joe’s conversation with his sister. He was clearly trying to block her out, even going so far as to position himself with his back to her. But Taylor couldn’t risk leaving him alone for fear he might spill all to his sister.

Finally, Jenna physically grabbed her by the arm, whispering, “Leave them alone. I need you to help me convince Spellman to fund this new idea.” Judging from Jenna’s firm grip on her arm, Taylor wouldn’t be able to resist without some sort of physical altercation. And that would cause a scene, which Taylor of course wanted to avoid at any cost. She allowed herself to be dragged away. When Jenna cornered Spellman, Taylor obediently nodded in agreement and uttered meaningless catch-phrases at Jenna’s urging.

But her attention was focused on Joe and Kathleen on the other side of the lawn. From her vantage she could barely make out their expressions and had to rely on body language. Once, she thought Joe glanced her way as he shrugged. He kissed his sister on the cheek and squeezed her around the shoulders before joining the nearest group of men in conversation.

Taylor’s mind raced with panic, wondering what he had told his sister, but at the moment, four people, including Jenna, were staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to weigh in with her opinion on Jenna’s proposed business model. She gave it, and excused herself to get another drink.

As she made her way to the bar, her gaze was continually drawn to Joe, who seemed to move around the crowd with enviable ease. The men laughed and joked with him, the women flirted benignly. In his button-front shirt, khaki slacks, and expensive watch, only his tanned face and perfectly honed body hinted that he wasn’t just like the rest of these men.

“God, he’s gorgeous,” she heard a feminine voice say. “Maybe I’ll hire him to do my yard. I’d have a
Desperate Housewives
moment with him, no question,” said another, making Taylor’s stomach clench. She wanted to turn and scream at them that Joe was more than just a pretty face and hot body. That he was smart and kind, funny and loving like no man she’d ever met. But she continued to the bar, saying none of these things, knowing if she did, they’d look on her with amused scorn before spreading the gossip like wildfire.

As she reached the bar, Joe appeared at her right and held out his own glass for a refill. “Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything to Kathleen. I didn’t let her know you’ve been slumming it with your gardener.” The disgust in his voice was enough to curdle her blood.

“Thank you for your discretion,” she said coolly, looking around to make sure no one was listening.

He let out a scornful laugh. “Don’t worry, Taylor, no one here is going to find out your dirty little secret.”

Defensiveness rose within her at his tone. “What did you expect me to do, announce to your sister—my boss’s wife—that I’ve been sleeping with her brother for nearly a month?” The bartender raised his eyebrows and backed away discreetly. “I don’t want to talk about this here,” she whispered through gritted teeth.

“Well, when you put it like that, it does sound pretty sordid,” he said, turning to skewer her with his icy glare. “But I guess I had myself fooled that there was something more going on, that you were deep enough to stop caring about what I do and focus on who I am.”

He walked in long strides across the yard, curtly nodding as people greeted him, and disappeared inside. Taylor followed at a discreet distance, slipping inside with the excuse of finding a bathroom. She looked in five rooms before finding him in what looked like a game room, complete with a pool table, wide-screen television, and full-size arcade game. Joe stood staring out a window overlooking the side yard.

Taylor’s throat was tight. “Joe, I’m sorry I hurt you—”

“So am I.” He whirled around. “But what I’m really sorry about is that I let you hurt me. I stupidly let myself believe that there was something better underneath the surface you show the world. I convinced myself that there was someone in you worth knowing, and worth loving.”

Every word poured through her like acid, and she held her hand up, but he wouldn’t stop. Didn’t he understand, she could never let go of the disguise? If she did, he’d see the ugliness of her past, the hopelessness she’d worked so hard to escape. He’d see that she was nothing but poor trailer trash, constantly polishing herself to keep the stains from showing.

“I told myself that the connection we had meant something, that I couldn’t possibly be interested in someone so shallow.”

She wrapped her arms around herself as though she could protect herself from the onslaught of pain. She’d tried to keep her roots hidden from the world, but he could see through her mask to the real Taylor, and she couldn’t bear it. “Joe, please stop—”

“This whole time, I’ve been patient, waiting for you to open up, waiting for you to give me a chance.” He stared at her, the disgust on his face nearly sending her to her knees. “You think I’m not good enough for you, Taylor. But the truth is, you’re not good enough for me.”

Something shriveled inside her with the knowledge that he was right.

“You have got to be the stupidest woman I’ve ever met.” Jenna stormed into her office the following Monday. Slamming the door, she threw her arms up in exasperation. “Seriously, Taylor, you blew it. Big time.”

“Did the deal fall through?” Taylor asked, trying to sound like she really cared. But since Joe had walked away on Saturday, she couldn’t seem to drag her mind away from him and the awful feeling that she had made the worst mistake of her life.

Jenna’s face knit into a disgusted frown. “Deal? I’m talking about Joe, and the fact that you let possibly the most perfect man in the universe slip through your fingers. No, wait, you didn’t let him slip through, you practically strapped a jetpack to him and pushed him out the door.”

Taylor’s throat tightened and she went on attack to prevent herself from dissolving into tears. “You were the one who encouraged me to have a fling with him, to use him as my transition man before I was ready to date.”

“That was before I met him,” Jenna said, flinging herself into a chair.

“Just because he’s gorgeous doesn’t mean it could ever work,” Taylor said, trying to convince herself as much as Jenna. “It never would have worked,” she repeated.

“Okay, let’s put looks aside. He cooks for you. He’s smart too. I talked to him at the party, and he’s a lot smarter than most MBAs I know.” Taylor tried not squirm at her pointed look and didn’t argue Jenna’s point.

Tears burned the backs of her eyes as Taylor struggled to maintain control of her emotions. “He’s nothing like us, nothing like me. If everyone found out—”

Jenna cut her off with a raised hand. “Taylor, I’ve known you for about a year now. And despite some major personality quirks, I really like you. So I’m going to tell you this for your own good.” She leaned forward intently. “You care way too much about what people think of you. And people would like you a lot more if you cared a little less.”

Taylor started, her preoccupation with Joe momentarily subsiding. “What do you mean? Don’t people like me?” Of course she realized she wasn’t best friends with everyone she worked with, but she’d always assumed she was well liked, at least on a professional level. Which, until now, was the only one she thought mattered.

“You don’t let anyone get to know you, Taylor. The only thing anyone besides me knows about you is your professional track record and that Stanford MBA you mention within the first five minutes of being introduced. When I first met you, even I thought you came off as cold and potentially ruthless.”

Taylor swallowed heavily at Jenna’s portrayal.
Uptight bitch.
Joe’s words knifed through her heart. All this time spent trying to morph herself into the perfect female executive, only to find out it was holding her back personally and professionally.

“You’re so bent on showing people only what you want them to see, that people have a hard time trusting you,” Jenna said softly.

Taylor stared blankly at her desk, pens and papers blurring as she blinked back tears. She didn’t know how to respond to Jenna’s harsh assessment of her, didn’t know how to begin to explain herself. Jenna could never understand the drive to escape her past, to remake herself and her life into what Taylor considered the epitome of success. Somewhere along the way, Taylor had convinced herself that there was only one path to success, and straying from it would result in an express ticket back to poverty in the trailer park.

“Well, thank you for your candor,” Taylor said simply, proud that her voice barely quivered.

“Taylor,” Jenna said beseechingly, “I’m sorry I was so harsh. I just hate to see you throw something amazing away because of some nonexistent ideal that no one else really cares about.”

Taylor’s shoulders slumped, and she met Jenna’s sympathetic gaze. First her jaw clenched, then her lip trembled. Taylor opened her mouth to speak, only to choke on a sob. And finally, the tears she had been holding at bay since Joe had walked away from her burst out in a wave of despair of such grand proportions even Jenna looked scared.

“How do I get him back?” Taylor finally sniffled. “I’ve been so awful to him; he has every right to hate my guts.”

Jenna rolled her eyes. “He may be mad at you, but I’m sure he doesn’t hate your guts.”

“He said I was shallow,” Taylor said, spawning another round of sobs.

“Taylor, whatever he said, I know he loves you. And trust me, feelings like that don’t just die after a few days.”

Taylor honked into a tissue. “Really, you think he loves me?”

Jenna looked at her like she was an idiot. “Are you kidding? The way he looks at you? Taylor, I dream of having a man look at me like that someday.”

“How does he look at me?”

“Like he’s the luckiest man alive just to be in the same room with you.”

As she’d been the luckiest woman alive to be with him. And she’d blown it. “I have to convince him I love him. And more than that—that I’m proud to be with him.”

Jenna sat back with a satisfied smile. “I’m sure we can come up with something. The sooner you get him back, the sooner you can focus on me and the company I want to start.”

Joe wiped the last bit of shaving cream off his chin, trying to muster up the necessary enthusiasm to spend tonight, Saturday, the same way he’d spent every night for the past week. Out with friends, having a few beers, playing a little pool, surveying the local single scene, trying to convince himself he didn’t miss Taylor. That he didn’t really love her and that he didn’t feel like he’d been walking around with a giant hole in his chest where his heart used to be.