Buried Notes (Brothers of Rock #4) (17 page)

“I have to trust he’ll come back,”
Becky said.

“Maybe you should go with him,”
Rachael said and laughed.

It was meant as a joke, but it
opened the door to a conversation Becky wasn’t really ready to have yet.

“Rachael, is Deb here?”

“Yeah,” Rachael said. “Why?”

“I need the three of us to sit
down... and talk.”

(19)

Chris landed in Baltimore and found
the rest of Chasing Cross waiting for him at the airport. He dropped his bag
and guitar at the car and shook hands and hugged with his band.

“How did everything turn out?”
Johnnie asked, not afraid to get straight to the point.

“Went better than I had hoped,”
Chris said.

“So you’re a single man now?” Danny
asked.

“Not exactly,” Chris said.

“Probably takes time to process,
right?” Davey asked.

“I’m sure it does,” Chris said. “If
I signed the papers.”

He pushed his way to the car and
climbed inside. The band followed him and pestered him with a million questions
but all Chris could do was smile. He’d got what he wanted out of the trip. To
see Becky. To know she was okay. And to have her again.

“Are you sure about all this?”
Johnnie asked. “I mean, with the tour and everything.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Chris
said. “We’re wrapping up soon enough. I think after this one we should all just
relax a little, right?”

“Relax?” Rick asked. “Meaning
what?”

“Well, isn’t there more to life off
stage? To live. To travel. To see the world.”

“We do that now,” Rick said. “And
we get paid for it.”

“We get paid a lot,” Danny said.

“Yeah, but just look at how fast the
years go by,” Chris said. “All we do is travel to shows, then apart to home,
then to shows...”

“That’s our life,” Johnnie said.
“Plus, Peter keeps dropping hints about another album.”

“Another one, huh?” Chris asked.
“I’m sure we could write something.”

“Christ,” Rick said. “It’ll end up
being love songs. Remember we did that once?”

“What’s wrong, Rick?” Johnnie
asked.

“Nothing,” Rick said. He gripped
his cell phone tight, tapping it to his bottom lip. “Nothing.”

“You’re full of shit,” Chris said.

“Am I?” Rick asked. “You know,
being hung up with a cast on my arm really sucked. It set me back, you know?
And now I’m ready to go. I’m ready to just do this until I die. But what are we
doing?”

“We’re on our way to a sound check,”
Johnnie said. “Then we have a radio interview and then we’re back to the arena
for the meet n’ greet.”

“Then the show,” Danny said.

“Can’t we just hang out and jam?”
Rick asked. “I mean, just the five of us. We should buy a garage or something.
And just make it like it used to be. Just go in with a bottle whiskey or
something and just jam.”

“We’re not eighteen anymore,” Chris
said.

“But we’re not eighty either.”

“He’s got a point,” Davey said.

“Garage band,” Johnnie whispered.
“Hey... you know what...”

“That’s not a good thing,” Danny
said. “He’s thinking. And thinking means more work. You’re an ass, Rick.”

Rick shook his head. “Thanks,
Danny.”

“No, no,” Johnnie said. “Rick’s got
a point here. We’ve kind of done it all, right?”

“We haven’t done a country album,”
Davey said.

“Are you serious?” Chris asked.

“Yeah,” Davey said. “And when we’re
done there, we’ll do a slow mix of R&B covers and follow it up with some
bluegrass, country, and then speed metal.”

Danny laughed. “He’s been playing
guitar way too much lately. And spending too much time in Anna’s school.”

“Hey, that’s pretty damn fun,”
Davey said. “Seeing those kids and how their faces light up when you play
something for them. I played a couple of our songs on violin and they loved
it.”

“You play violin?” Chris asked.

“I play anything I want,” Davey
said.

“Guys, listen to me,” Johnnie said.
He slid to the edge of his seat. “What if we did just what Rick said to do. Go
into a garage and jam.”

“Really?” Chris asked.

“You have my attention,” Rick said.

“We bring some recording equipment
and record a garage band album,” Johnnie said. “How awesome would that be? We
could just jam and write new material right on the spot. Record it, listen to
it, tweak it, then have a final run through. Nobody hears it but us... and then
we deliver the recording just as it is.”

“You know how dirty it’ll sound?”
Danny asked.

“That’s the point, brother,”
Johnnie said. Johnnie looked at Rick. “You’re a genius, man.”

“Genius?” Rick asked. “Doubt that.
I really didn’t mean to record an album. I just want to just jam. No pressure.
No care.”

“We can do that,” Johnnie said.
“And record it.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Chris said.
“As long as we can find a spot to agree on.”

“Yeah,” Rick said. “Good luck with
that, right?”

Chris and the rest of the band
looked at Rick. He shrugged his shoulders.

“Come on,” he said. “We’re
basically scattered around the country now.”

“We could figure it out,” Johnnie
said. “Let me talk to Peter and see how far he’s dragging this tour out. Man,
we could really do this.”

“Yeah, we can,” Davey said.

The car came to a stop and Chris
watched Danny, Davey, and Johnnie get out of the car. He then stared at Rick,
who stared at his phone.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

Rick nodded. “Yeah. It’s good,
man.”

“Waiting for a woman to call you?”

“Something like that.” Rick looked
up from his phone. “Sound check?”

“Sound check,” Chris said.

The sound check went as planned,
along with the radio interview. The typical questions were thrown at the band -
what it’s like to still be touring, how long they plan on touring, any plans
for more albums, how do they feel about their hardcore, loyal fans
- along
with playing a couple acoustic songs right in the studio.

The band took pictures with the
radio hosts and staff, pictures that would be hung up in the hallways, along
with dozens of others from when other bands came to visit the radio studio.

Everything went smooth and as
planned.

Back on the bus, Chris thought
about Becky. The divorce papers were hidden in his guitar caseJohnnie was
inside the arena, probably talking to Peter. Danny and Davey were doing what
they did best, sipping a few drinks and strumming a couple guitars. Rick was
huddled to himself, staring out the window of the tour bus, lost somewhere
else. Chris felt for the drummer. He had to face sobering up pretty hard. After
crashing his car and breaking his arm, it was a real wake up that he wasn’t a
young blooded rockstar. Rick was still feeling the sting of Peter wanting
Johnnie to do a solo album. Not that Johnnie accepted the offer or probably
ever would. At least not before discussing it with the band.

They’d come so far from the group
of guys in old, ripped clothes, struggling to stay awake to keep playing just
one more song in a mildew smelling garage. Chris understood what Rick wanted to
do and why. Sometimes capturing those past feelings was amazing. Chris knew
that firsthand by spending time with Becky.

Rick finally snapped out of his
trance and walked by Chris. He punched Chris in the shoulder and then
reappeared a few seconds later with a guitar of his own.

“Mind if I jam?” Rick asked Danny
and Davey.

“Not at all, man,” Danny said.

The three started playing and Chris
found himself slipping into thought.

The past.

The present.

The curves of Becky’s body and how
they fit so perfectly with Chris’s body. The way she moved. The sounds she
made.

His feelings for her.

They’d be there from the second she
threw that strawberry drink in his face. She never looked at Chris as a
rockstar and held him higher than everyone else.

But what did it all mean?

Could they really just pick up and
keep going? Could they remain married? They got married on a whim and stayed
married because Chris put Becky in a corner basically. The truth was that he
had expected to find Becky and hear the story of how she was in love with
someone and planning to get married. He planned on checking on her, saying
goodbye, and signing the papers.

But this...

“Damn,” Chris whispered to himself.

The feelings were inside Chris but
reality had crept in. Distance did that to a person. What was Becky going to
do? Stay in Plesent, North Carolina? Expect Chris to move there? Not that Chris
had any ties to California... other than being close to everything he needed.
Close to studios. Close to the label. Close to Peter.

He had been in California since
leaving Virginia with Chasing Cross. It wasn’t really home but if the only
place he’d ever been. It was the only place he knew. Aside from that, could it
really work?

Chris soon found himself in a
personal hell. Battling right, wrong, and what he wanted. His heart wanted
Becky. His heart wanted to take her and hold her for the rest of his life. She
couldn’t travel with the band. None of the women did. Sometimes they came to
shows but none of them traveled. Chris would travel if he had to. Sure. He’d go
anywhere in the country - the world - back to North Carolina with each and
every break he had. To see Becky. To love her even more.

But would she love him back?

Would she hold on?

The feelings were so raw. They were
pure and filled with passion. But how long would it last? Did forever actually
exist, or was it just something Chris heard Johnnie sing about while he played
bass to someone’s favorite song?

Time moved slow but it finally came
time to get on stage.

Chris hurried into the arena and
when Chasing Cross took the stage, he finally felt it.

Home.

Looking out to the crowd, the
thousands upon thousands of fans there to see the band, proved something to
Chris. This was home, but it wouldn’t last forever. Because nothing lasted
forever. It lasted for now.

When the show ended, the band took
their bow and was cheered off the stage. The band huddled for a second,
laughing, relaxing. Even Rick seemed happy. Everyone except Chris. The second
the music ended and the vibrations in his ears calmed, the thoughts about Becky
came back. He broke away from the band and walked the hall. Johnnie called for
him and Chris just threw a hand into the air. He didn’t want to talk to anyone.
Or deal with anyone.

He stormed from the building and
went straight for the bus. He ran to the back and grabbed his guitar case. When
he opened it, he just stared. It wasn’t the guitar they interested him, or made
him feel the way he did. The feeling quickly became too much and Chris went for
a bottle. The fridge on the bus was fully stocked. Chris took a drink and went
back to the guitar case.

His hands touched the divorce
papers and he closed his eyes.

“Fuck,” he said.

He knew what he had to do.

He had to sign the papers.

**

Becky loved waking up and hurrying
to her laptop to check the Chasing Cross site. She loved seeing the red mark
through the previous night’s date. Last night was the last show, which meant
Chris had a day off. A day off he promised he’d come to see her. She grabbed
her phone and sent him a text message and then realized she just text messaged
the bassist from Chasing Cross.

She blushed in the company of
herself and then poured a cup of coffee. A knock came at her apartment door and
Becky looked down at herself. She wore a thin green robe with a mismatched bra
and panties. She closed the robe and tied it as she walked to the door. She
secretly hoped it was Chris there to surprise her. That meant she could just
drop the robe and already be halfway where she needed to be. Chris’s touch had
become quickly addicting, and Becky longed for him. She wasn’t sure things
would work when he went on the road but they’d make it work. After all, they’d
been married for how long now?

Becky laughed at the thought and
opened the door.

Rachael and Deb stood holding
coffee and doughnuts.

“Hey,” Becky said. “Sorry for how I
look...”

“Sorry we didn’t call,” Rachael
said. “We wanted to kind of pop in.”

“Then pop in,” Becky said and
backed up.

Things had been tense since she
admitted her feelings about the bakery a couple days earlier. Rachael cried and
Deb sat without emotion.

“I just poured myself coffee,”
Becky said.

“Dump it,” Deb said.

“We brought good coffee,” Rachael
said.

Becky laughed and took the coffee.
She took the lid off and smelled it. The aroma was enough to make her mouth water.
How did small cafés do it? Why did their coffee taste better than home brewed
coffee?

Rachael and Deb sat at the table
and opened the doughnuts.

“Why do I feel like I’m being
lured?” Becky asked.

“No,” Rachael said. “We want to
talk. About what you talked about.”

“Oh,” Becky said.

She took her seat and lost all
interest in the coffee and the doughnuts. She wished Chris was there with her.
Not only to even out the headcount but to give her the strength to face
something so serious. This wasn’t just business. This was business and family
together.

“First off,” Deb said. “Are you
sure?”

“Sure about...?”

“Your decision,” Rachael said. “I
mean, we’re all grieving here. Some people grieve a little differently.”

“I’m sure,” Becky said. “This isn’t
grieving. This is me being honest. I love baking. I love the bakery. Just... I
can’t do it. Not all the time. I don’t want to abandon you though.”

“You’re not,” Rachael said. “I’m
sure you’d still love to help out once in a while, right?”

“Wait, what are you saying?” Becky
asked.

“We talked to Ben,” Deb said.

Ben was their business lawyer. He
was a CPA too. He and Deb handled taking care of the finances of the bakery.
For the longest time both Rachael and Becky thought their mother would
eventually end up with Ben, but it never happened.