Burn Out (2 page)

She set the photo
down and came to stand in front of him. Dropping to her knees, she held his
hands. “I know you love me; that’s not what this is about.”

“Isn’t that the
only thing that matters?”

“Not anymore.” She
reached up to restore order to his tousled hair. “You were the first and only
man I’ve ever loved. My lover, my best friend… you were the center of my world
for the longest time, Evan. There’s nothing I wouldn’t have sacrificed to make
this relationship work.”

He knew everything
she said was true, which made it hurt all the more. “What can I do…?”

“You can let me
go,” she said quietly.

“I’d do anything
for you… anything but that.”

“I want to get
married, Ev.” She sunk her teeth into her full bottom lip. “I want to move on
to the next phase of my life.” She sat back on the upholstered ottoman, still
holding his hands in hers. “I want to have a nice house, a couple of kids, a
dog or two…” She released his hands and brushed away the tears. “I can’t wait
forever to start that phase, and I don’t want to.”

He said the only
thing he could think of to keep her from leaving. “Marry me.”

She closed her
eyes and tilted her head forward. “I can’t.”

“I thought that’s
what you wanted?” The frustration was mounting, and the man who was always in
control watched everything spiral out of control like a dark and dangerous
vortex pulling him into its core.

“No, what I want
is someone to share my life with, a husband who’ll be there to support me and
help me raise our kids.”

“I want to be your
husband,” he said, knowing anything he said now wouldn’t be enough to repair
the rift between them. “I want you to have my babies…” His voice broke when he
thought about the fact she would be another man’s wife now. She’d have someone
else’s babies. “God, Erika,” he said, bowing his head. “Don’t do this. Please.
I can’t lose you.”

She framed his
face with her hands. “You’re gonna be just fine without me, Ev. You’re the
strongest man I know.”

“No, you’re the
one who makes me strong. I can’t do what I do without you. Don’t you get that?”

She closed her
eyes as though her heart and head were still at war over her decision to leave
him. “Yes, you can. You were born to do this. You’re going to take that company
to heights your father never even dreamed possible.” She leaned in to kiss his
cheek. “And when you do, no one will be more proud of your accomplishments than
I will.”

“None of it
matters without you,” he said, pulling her into his arms. She clung to him as
he buried his face in her long, silky hair. “I don’t give a damn about that
company if I don’t have you to come home to at night.”

She ran her hand
along his jaw. “It may feel that way now, but in time, you’ll realize this was
for the best. You’ll have the time you need to devote to the business without
feeling guilty or torn about leaving me home alone so often. Trust me, you’ll
be glad I let you go to pursue your dream.”

He felt the sting
of tears burning his eyes, but he had already wasted too much time hiding the
truth from her. If he’d shown her how much she meant to him sooner, she
wouldn’t doubt their relationship now. “You’re so wrong.”

“It’s okay to have
goals and dreams that don’t include getting married and having kids. That’s not
the life for everyone.”

“It’s the life for
me,” he said, his voice sounding raspy. “It’s what I want… with you.”

She brushed her
lips across his cheek. “I have to go. My parents are expecting me. I’m going to
stay with them for a while, until I can find a place of my own again. The
movers will be by tomorrow to pick up the rest of my things… while you’re at
work. I’ll leave your key on the front desk when I’m finished.”

“Keep it,” he
said, desperate to hold on to the hope that she could change her mind and come
back to him. “Just in case.”

She kissed him
gently on the lips, wiping away the tears that collected on his lower lashes.
“I’m not going to change my mind. I’m sorry.”

Evan Spencer
stared down the length of the table, watching the woman he planned to marry,
talking and laughing with the man at her side. It killed Evan to see Erika
having fun with someone else, knowing
he
would be taking her home
tonight, sharing her bed, giving her the kind of pleasure she used to find only
in his arms.

“I know this has
gotta be hard on you, man,” Ryan Spencer said, clapping his brother on the
shoulder. “If you wanna leave, no one would blame you.”

He was there to
celebrate the pending nuptials of his best friend, Dominic. They’d all gone to
college together and Erika developed a friendship with Dominic’s fiancée, Lena.
She’d agreed to be one of Lena’s bridesmaids, which meant the next few weeks
would be torture as they all planned to accompany the couple to the Caribbean
for their wedding.

“I can handle
this,” Evan said, getting to his feet. There was no sense maintaining the
awkwardness that had defined their previous meetings. The next several weeks
would go much smoother if they made the effort to call a truce, for the benefit
of Dom and Lena, as well as the rest of their friends and family.

He paused beside
Erika, glaring at the man at her side before he extended his hand to her. “May
I have this dance?”

The table fell
silent as everyone held their collective breath, waiting for Erika to respond.
Her eyes darted to her date before she plastered a smile on her face and said,
“Of course.” She stood, tossing her napkin on her chair. “Excuse us,” she said
to the rest of the group.

She allowed Evan
to take her hand as he led her toward the small dance floor. He took it as a
sign she wanted to keep things civil as much as he did. She slipped into his
embrace as though she belonged there, and for a fraction of a second, he
allowed himself to pretend the last year hadn’t happened.

“How have you
been?” she asked, looking up at him.

Her close
proximity was turning him inside out, but he refused to allow her to see how
much she affected him. Trying to get her back had cost as much of his dignity
as he was willing to surrender to the cause. He still loved her, suspected he
always would, but when she’d told him, in front of their friends, that she’d
fallen out of love with him long before she walked out of his life for the last
time, he knew it was time to let her go.

“I’ve been good…
busy.”

She spared a
glance at their table. “Your date is lovely. She seems nice too.”

He had driven
Natasha to the party, not as his date, but as a friend. They were both working
late and headed in the same direction, so it seemed logical they would drive
together. His brother, Ryan, may have hired her to work as an apprentice in
their legal department against Evan’s wishes, but he was man enough to admit
when he was wrong, and he’d clearly been wrong about Natasha. She was one of
the hardest working, sweetest, smartest women he’d met in a long time, and
their relationship had quickly evolved from employer / employee to friends.

“She’s just a
friend.” He looked at her date. “Of course that’s what you said about
him
in
the beginning, and it looks like y’all are well past the friends stage now.” It
killed Evan to see her walk in on that man’s arm, knowing he was probably one
of the main reasons for their break up. Although he couldn’t prove it, he
suspected the other man had talked him down to Erika for months before she
finally decided to move out of their home.

Her grip on his
shoulder tightened as her emerald eyes became cold and distant. “Not that it’s
any of your business, but I wouldn’t say it’s serious.”

“I’m sure that’s
not because he hasn’t tried to move things along though, am I right?” He knew
he was supposed to be smoothing the waters, but that wasn’t easy when he
thought about Erika being intimate with someone else.

“You don’t get
over a six year relationship overnight,” she said quietly as her eyes fell to
the opening of his button down shirt. “In fact, getting over you is harder than
I thought.”

His grip on her
waist tightened. It was the first bit of encouragement she’d given him since
she left and he couldn’t suppress the hope swelling in his chest. “It hasn’t
been easy for me either.” He decided to set his pride aside and tell her the
truth. “Who the hell am I kiddin’? I’ve never gotten over you. Don’t think I
ever will.”

She pressed her
hand against his chest. “Evan…”

“Sssh,” he said,
bringing her in closer. “Don’t say anything. Don’t list the reasons why it
would never work, or why I can’t be the man you need. I know all that. I just
want to hold you for a minute…” He hadn’t allowed himself to feel this
vulnerable and exposed with anyone in a long time. “I wanna pretend I can turn
back the clock and stop at a time when you were still in love with me.”

Erika settled her
head against his chest, and he knew she could hear the wild staccato of his
heart, but he didn’t care if she knew the effect she had on him. The world only
knew one side of him, Evan Spencer, President of Titan Records, but she knew
the good, the bad, and the ugly.

“It’s so good to
see you again,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you.”

“Not as much as
I’ve missed you.” He missed her all the time; when his head hit the pillow at
night, when he showered in the morning, drove to work, and every moment in
between. She’d claimed his heart years ago, and evidentially it was the one
thing she’d failed to leave behind when she left.

“I’m sorry I
didn’t return any of your calls after I left. It was just too painful.”

“I understand.” He
did understand. They both knew his sole reason for calling was to try and
convince her to give him another chance, and during those bleak days when he
had to adjust to returning home to a cold and empty apartment, he would have
said or done anything to get her to come back.

“Dom tells me
you’re still working crazy hours,” she said, looking up at him.

Evan wished he
could deny it. He’d like to tell her he was a changed man, a man she might
consider giving another chance, but so little had changed. If anything, he
worked more to fill the void she’d left in his life. “The company isn’t going
to run itself,” he said quietly.

“Ryan and Bri seem
happy,” she said, seeming anxious to change the subject. “Who would’ve thought
those two would wind up together, huh?”

He couldn’t help
but smile when he looked at his brother. He’d never seen him happier or more
content than he was in the months since Brianna had moved in with him. They
were perfect for each other. “Best decision Ry ever made was hookin’ up with
that girl.”

She smiled. “I
think so too.” She tore her gaze away from the table when her date gave her a
questioning look. “So, Dom and Lena picked a great spot for their wedding,
don’t you think?”

They had often
talked about doing what their friends were, taking the people closest to them
and getting married in paradise, with the ocean and tropical flowers as their
backdrop. If Evan had it to do all over again, he would have made Erika’s dream
wedding happen years ago. If he had, now he would be dancing with his wife
instead of another man’s date.

“Yeah, I’ve heard
good things about the Bahamas. It should be fun.” Before tonight, Evan dreaded
the wedding, but if he had more opportunities to dance with Erika like this, it
would be worth of falling in love with her all over again.

His Uncle Trey was
playing with his band, something he hadn’t done since his retirement last year,
and Evan held up one finger to indicate he’d like him to play another slow
song. Trey winked and tipped his cowboy hat at his nephew.

Evan’s
brother-in-law, J.T. McCall, had agreed to close Jimmy’s bar for their private
party to celebrate Dom and Liam’s pending nuptials, and their friends and
family agreed to take turns playing for the small crowd. Aside from Trey, they
had some of the biggest names in country music taking the small stage: Ty
McCall, Nikki Spencer McCall, and Tori Warner Cooper. If they had opened the
bar to the public, it would have resulted in mayhem.

“Trey looks like
he’s having fun up there,” she said, smiling. “I wonder if he ever misses it?”

“Are you kiddin’?
He’s havin’ too much fun as the dotin’ grandfather to miss performin’ in front
of capacity crowds every night.”

“I know. He’s so
cute with the baby. Who ever thought a big, tough guy like him would melt over
one tiny little man?”

He looked into her
eyes a long time and knew they were both thinking about the kind of father he
would have been to their children if he’d been given the chance. “Some of the
toughest guys I know are the best dads,” he whispered, holding her tighter.

“I know,” she
said. Her eyes glistened as she blinked. “Your dad is a great example of that.
He was a hard-nosed business man, yet when it comes to his family, there’s
nothing he wouldn’t do for y’all.”

“Yeah, that’s
true,” Evan said, glancing at his parents. “My mama’s a little jealous that
Sierra became a grandmother before she did, if you wanna know the truth.”