Burn Out (4 page)

Marisa wrinkled
her nose, as though she’d caught a whiff of a foul odor in the air. “I don’t
like him.”

“Oh yeah? I didn’t
hear Erika askin’ for your opinion.”

She slapped her
son’s shoulder while giving him a stern look. “Don’t get smart with me.”

“Look, Ma, I know
you’re worried about me, but you don’t have to be. I’m fine.”

“Honey,” she said,
softening her tone. “You’re not fine. You haven’t been fine since Erika left
you.”

He couldn’t argue
with her claim, so he bit his lip and said nothing. Admitting to his mother
that time had done little to lessen the pain of losing her wouldn’t help.

“Maybe if you made
some changes, if she could see that you were serious about turning your life
around.”

“Who says I wanna
change my life? I happen to like it the way it is.” They both knew that was his
pride talking. He hated coming home to an empty apartment every night and going
in to the office on weekends because there was no one in his life to try and
tempt him into having a little fun once in a while.

“I don’t believe
you.” She sighed. “You’re as bad as your father. You know that, don’t you?”

She wasn’t the
first one to tell him he was a carbon copy of the old man. Most days it didn’t
bother him, but right now it felt like a dagger in the back. “What’s that
supposed to mean?”

“If I hadn’t
forced him to admit what he stood to lose if I left him, he would have lived
the rest of his life alone.” She rolled her eyes when Evan didn’t appear
convinced. “Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t have been alone, but he wouldn’t have
been happy. He would have worked himself into an early grave, just like you
are.”

“Gee, thanks for
tryin’ to cheer me up.”

“I don’t care if I
sound harsh.”

He remembered that
tone of voice. It was the same one she used when he got in trouble for fighting
at school.

“We both know it’s
the truth, Evan.”

“All right, what
would you suggest I do?” If she could help him figure out how to make inroads
with Erika, he was willing to listen. He glanced over her shoulder and spotted
Erika throwing back shots. Ryan, Dom, and Lena seemed to be in on the action as
well. Erika didn’t drink often, but he remembered how wild she got in the
bedroom when she did. Just thinking about it made him crazy.

“Does she seem
happy to you?” Marisa asked, following the direction of his gaze. “I can’t say
I’ve ever seen her drink like that. Maybe this is just as difficult for her as
it is for you.”

“She dumped me,
not the other way around.”

“You didn’t give
her a choice.”

“I can’t believe
you’re takin’ her side.” He stepped back, but Marisa stepped forward, refusing
to allow him to escape until she’d said her piece.

“I’m not taking
sides, but there’s one thing I know for sure: that girl loved you.”

“Yeah,
loved
,
past tense.” Remembering her words still hurt.
I stopped loving you a long
time ago, Evan.
For days after, it had sounded like a sadistic chant in his
head, mocking him whenever he tried to focus on anything else, including
business.

“You don’t believe
she’s still in love with you?”

“No, I don’t.” At
the time, he wanted to believe she’d said it in the heat of the moment, hoping
it would prompt him to back off, but too many months had passed. If she had any
regrets about ending their relationship, she’d had plenty of time to tell him.
“She said she fell out of love with me and I believe she meant it.” It still
hurt him to admit it to himself. He’d never found the courage to admit it to
anyone else until now.

“I saw the two of
you together earlier, on the dance floor and by the front door. She still looks
like a woman in love to me.”

He wanted to
believe that, but setting himself up for another fall was emotional suicide. Getting
over her once had been nearly impossible. His heart would never recover from
another rejection. “I think you were readin’ her wrong. If she was still into
me, she wouldn’t have brought some other guy here tonight.”

“Why not? You
brought another woman.”

“Come on, you know
Natasha and I are just friends.”

“I know that, but
does Erika?”

“Yeah, I told
her.”

Marisa smiled.
“Interesting. She asked about your relationship with Natasha?”

“Not exactly. She
said she thought she was pretty or something. Hell, I don’t remember exactly
what she said. I could barely breathe, havin’ her back in my arms again, much
less follow the thread of the conversation.”

Marisa reached up
to pat his cheek, sadness etching lines on her face. “Honey, I know she’s the
one. I just hate to see you let her go.”

“You think this is
what I want?” he whispered fiercely. “This is killin’ me. Can’t you see that?”

“You’re the only
one who can turn things around. You know why she felt she had to leave you. In
her position, I probably would have felt the same way.”

“How can you say
that?” It took all the self-control Evan possessed not to shout out his
frustration. He was tired of being the villain, especially when he was just
trying to do right by his family. He didn’t want his father’s legacy tarnished
by two lazy kids who couldn’t maintain the high standard he’d set. “You’ve been
married to Dad for more than thirty years. He’s spent every damn one of those
years every bit as devoted to Titan as I am.”

“That’s true,”
Marisa said, inclining her head in agreement. “But his family came first. I
came first. He never let me forget that.”

Evan wanted to
argue the point, but he couldn’t. As busy as Luc was, he’d never missed an
important sporting event or graduation ceremony. He’d been a hands-on parent,
even when it seemed like he was sacrificing sleep to be there for them.

“You think I made
Erika less of a priority in my life?” He looked at Erika, and his heart ached
when he realized he’d given her so much less of himself than she deserved. He
should have told her every day, in every possible way that she was his
everything.

“Didn’t you?”

“I don’t know,” he
whispered. He knew the truth; they both did. “How the hell am I supposed to do
it all? Balance the company and a relationship, kids…

“Do you want to
have a family someday?”

“Of course, but I
don’t want to be a part-time dad.” He wanted to be the kind of dad his was, but
he didn’t see how that was possible given his current work load.

“We make time for
the things and people that are important to us. You didn’t make time for Erika.
You made her feel as though she wasn’t important to you.”

“She was.” His
eyes locked with Erika’s and he could tell she was still trying to deny his
effect on her. “She still is.”

“Then you need to
make her believe that.”

He wanted to
believe it wasn’t too late, but he knew his mother was right. He would have to
figure out how to completely restructure his life if he wanted to convince
Erika he was a changed man.

“I’m gonna do
whatever it takes to get her back,” he said, his eyes still fixed on Erika.

Marisa reached up
to kiss his cheek. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’ve waited so long to see
that sparkle back in your eye.”

He forced himself
to break eye contact with Erika. “What sparkle is that?”

“That one,” she
said, winking at him. “The one you get when you look at her.”

***

Erika was sitting
at the table alone when she felt the heat of Evan’s body behind her. She didn’t
even have to look up to know it was him. No one else affected her the way he
did.

He leaned over to
whisper in her ear as he fixed his hands on either side of the table top in
front of her. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

“He’s… uh… dancing
with Lena.” Her eyes drifted closed as his hot breath fanned her ear. She knew
drinking was a bad idea, given the effect it had on her. They hadn’t made love
in too many months, and the liquid aphrodisiac making her body tingle was a
potent reminder that abstinence was brutal.

“Excuse me,” he
said, reaching around her for the full shot glass.

She watched him
bring it to his lips, a shudder moving through her as he tipped his head back
and swallowed. “That was mine.” Pointing out the obvious seemed ridiculous, but
she couldn’t think of anything else to say, except maybe…
I want you.

He took a step
around the table.

Her face burned
when she turned her head and found herself eye-to-eye with his bulging zipper.
Quickly looking away, she saw Jeff walking toward them.

Jeff glared at
Evan before offering her his hand. “We should go. We have an early morning,
with that vaccine clinic and all.”

She knew he was
right, but she wasn’t ready for the evening to end. She hadn’t allowed herself
to let go and have a good time with friends in a long time. “Um, why don’t you
go on ahead?” She looked over his shoulder to where Lena stood. “Would you guys
mind giving me a ride home?”

“Of course not,”
Lena said, raising a glass.

Dom laughed as he
hooked an arm around his fiancée’s shoulder. “I’m glad we all had the good
sense to line up cars for the night.” He nudged Jeff’s arm. “Hey, you need a ride?”

“You know I don’t
drink,” Jeff said, taking a step away from Dom.

Erika knew Jeff
didn’t like her ex-boyfriend’s best friend. Not that she could blame him. Dom
had never made a secret of the fact his loyalty would always be to Evan.

“Oh yeah, I forgot.”
Dom rolled his eyes at Evan. “How ‘bout you, man? You ready to line ‘em up
again?”

Evan grinned. “You
know I’m in.”

For a split
second, it felt like old times. The four of them out together, having a good
time, celebrating… until she saw the scowl on Jeff’s face that reminded her
Evan wasn’t the man in her life anymore.

“Don’t let us keep
you,” Evan said to Jeff. He waved his hand as though trying to discourage an
annoying bug from getting too close. “Don’t worry about her. She’s in good
hands.”

“I don’t think I
should leave you here…” Jeff shot a meaningful look at Evan. “With him.”

“Listen, buddy,”
Evan said, taking a step forward. “If anyone doesn’t belong here, it’s you. Now
get the hell outta here before you really piss me off.”

Erika jumped up,
wedging her body between the two men. She realized her mistake as soon as Evan
grabbed her waist, pulling her back against his chest. “Stop,” she hissed.

“Let me set the
record straight, in case you have any doubt about where I stand,” Evan said,
pointing at Jeff. “I’m in love with her. I never stopped lovin’ her. She
belongs with me, not you.”

Jeff took a step
toward them. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Who do I think I
am?” Evan asked, chuckling. “I’m the guy who shared her bed for six years. I’m
the only guy she’s ever loved. I’m the guy she intended to marry and have
babies with, that’s who I am. Who the hell are you?”

Erika knew by the
tense set of his body that Evan wasn’t as relaxed as he pretended, and she’d
seen him in too many bar fights to think this situation could possibly end well
for Jeff. “Please,” she said to Jeff, raising her hand. “Just go. I don’t want
to ruin Lena and Dom’s party. I’ll see you at the clinic in the morning.”

“I can’t believe
you’re really gonna stay here with this guy.”

She knew she
didn’t owe Jeff an explanation. They were dating, but she’d made it clear he
was free to date other women and she always assumed he knew she had the same
freedom.

“I’m not gonna
tell you again,” Evan said through clenched teeth. “Get out before I throw you
out of here on your ass.”

Jeff glared at the
people around them one more time before he grabbed his jacket off the back of
his chair and stalked toward the door.

Dom saluted him.
“Thanks for comin’. Hope to see you again real soon.”

Lena slapped his
arm as everyone around them laughed, everyone except Evan.

Erika could tell
Evan was struggling with the urge to go after Jeff and lay him out on the
sidewalk, so she turned in to his arms to distract him.
Mission
accomplished.
He thrust his hands into her hair and took her mouth in a
hungry, possessive kiss that turned her bones to mush as she clung to him to
keep from puddling in a hot mess at his feet.

“What the hell was
that?” she asked when he finally let her come up for air.

“That was to
remind you what you’ve been missin’ while you were wastin’ your time with that
loser.”

If not for the
alcohol lowering her inhibitions, she may have noticed the people around them
staring at them in shock as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him
in for a taste of his own potent medicine.