Burning Up (14 page)

“Well fuck me sideways! Eric, look who it is!”

Turning in my seat, I glared, wide-eyed at the short brown haired, tattooed, drummer that had just waltzed in to the bar. The blonde, equally inked, bass player followed right behind him.

Groaning, I held my hands over my face.

“Layla fucking Jennings. What are you doing here? Come to give me a goodbye blow job before you go all Amazon and hairy in Europe?”

Sliding himself into the seat next to me, Nick pressed against me so far that I was forced hard into the side of the booth.

“Nice to know some assholes never change around here. And no, I wouldn’t blow anything or anywhere near you even if you were on fire.”

Nick chuckled. “I like it when you talk dirty.”

Eric blushed and ran his fingers through his spikey blonde locks.

“You really are a total douchebag. You know that, man?”

Scooting Amy and Mel over, he slipped in and sat at the very edge of the bench.

“So, what are you doing here then, Goldilocks?”

Flicking my hair, Nick grinned at me, and my stomach turned.

“Visiting.”

Eric gave me a concerned look. “Does Ollie know you’re here?”

I could have told them all. I could have said yes, but clearly if Ollie hadn’t told them, then I was pretty sure he didn’t want anyone to know about it.

“No. And I wanna keep it that way. Got it?”

Holding his hands out, Eric shrugged. “Hey, whatever. Just don’t get all pissed at me when he turns up here later.”

I gasped and gave Amy and Mel a worried look. I couldn’t stay here. Not now. I had to go before he got there. I couldn’t see him again.

“He’s coming tonight?” Amy asked.

“Yeah. Said he had a rough week and needed a cold one with his pals.”

Nick gestured toward the door. “Should be here any time now.”

Grabbing my purse, I climbed over Nick and jumped out of the booth before hurrying to the bathroom. Swinging the door open I gripped the sink tightly and stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were wide and my mascara was beginning to blur. I was panting and my heart was racing at the thought of bumping into him again. The anxiety building inside of me was making my stomach churn, and the constricting feeling made my chest literally hurt. What have I done? I can’t even face him now? The lump in my throat was now beginning to strangle me, and I started to cough and heave dramatically over the sink. I was going to be sick. Running for the toilet, I heaved all of my distress, pain, and tears from my body. When it was finally over, I sat back on my heels and rested my head on my folded arms, draped over the toilet. Sniffing through my tears, I felt someone pull my hair back from my face, and as I looked over my shoulder with tears in my eyes, I saw Amy. She gave me a comforting smile and rubbed my back gently.

“Layla, honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Poor sweet and innocent Amy.

Getting up, I raked my fingers through my hair.

“Amy, I can’t. I just can’t see him. I knew this was a bad idea. I should have stayed in Pasadena.” I paced around frantically trying to calm my nerves.

“You don’t know what might happen. He might be totally fine when he sees you. You’ll talk, make amends and …“

I cut her off and gripped her by the shoulders tightly.

“No, he won’t.”

She gave me a confused look. “How do you know?”

Biting my lip, I glanced at the door that was still firmly shut.

“Because … because I saw him.”

Her mouth fell open.

“It was the other day. I went to your apartment looking for you and they called up to get someone to okay my being let in. Anyway, Ollie came down and saw me there. He was furious! He yelled at me and said he hated me. He toyed with me and spat me out. He can’t stand me, Amy. I can’t exactly blame him!”

Leaning against the sink, she shook her head fiercely. “Well, whatever he said, it’s bullshit. He doesn’t hate you, Layla. He’s hurt. Of course he’s hurt, but we all do and say things when we’re hurting. Do you really believe there’s no chance for the two of you?”

I nodded weakly. “I need to get out of here. Amy, please don’t breathe a word about this to anyone. Promise me,” I pleaded.

Wrapping me in a warm hug, she rubbed her hands up and down my back comfortingly. “Of course, I promise.”

Reaching for the handle on the bathroom door, I froze. The sound of a guitar and a familiar voice in the microphone halted me.

“Oh, God! Amy, he’s out there! On stage! He’ll see me!”

Pulling the door open slightly, Amy grabbed my hand and dragged me from the bathroom. I couldn’t breathe. The lights on the stage were so bright that the entire bar was cloaked in darkness. Maybe I could slip out and he wouldn’t notice me.

“Go around the back where everyone is gathered at the bar. He won’t see you. Go.”

Giving me a quick hug, Amy gave me a gentle shove away from the stage.

“Hey everyone. We’re D.O.A. and I know you all put in requests for some of our new stuff, but I wanna kick things off with a classic. It’s a great song by a great band and it means a lot to me.”

Nick rolled his eyes as Ollie leaned across and told him what to play. Clearly, he wasn’t a fan. Standing in the corner of the room, hiding beside the bar, I watched as Ollie began playing his white guitar. It was the one I had bought him for his birthday. The soft and gentle sounds of
Be With You
by Mr. Big filled the bar and everyone whistled, yelled and cheered.

His dark black jeans and white t-shirt reminded me of the rock star I had fallen in love with. His sleeves pulled tight against his thick arms and his hands clutched the neck of the guitar tightly. I felt my heart pound like a hammer almost in time to the beat of the drums. Ollie was a performer and everything sexy about rock and roll. His body moved in a way that almost made it as sensual as the instrument he was playing. His lip ring glistened under the spotlight, pinching his plump lip as he sang.  His hair was tousled, and the way his hand caressed the mic stand reminded me of the gentle and attentive way he had once teased my aching body. It was a feeling I was yearning for once again. Just watching him made my body tremble.

But Ollie was a professional. Even with a plethora of girls crowding the stage, he was completely focused. Letting go and giving himself over to the pulsations of the music, he sang each word with a heart-wrenching passion. Tilting his head back, he closed his eyes tightly.

Seizing my opportunity, I made a dash for the door. I had just pulled the handle when a loud and booming solo began, and as I turned to see him, Ollie met my gaze. He
saw
me.

I hitched a breath. I couldn’t move. My body betrayed me, and my blood heated as his big, beautiful brown eyes watched me with their heart-stopping intensity. Never breaking our connection, he grabbed the mic and he sang, hard and fierce into it as his eyes continued to burn into my skull. With tears in my eyes, I reluctantly tore myself away and out in to the night air. The cool breeze washed over me, and a feeling of relief became overwhelming. Relief from what? Relief that I was out of his sight or the relief that even after all he had said, and all I had done, Ollie still had feelings for me. Maybe Amy was right. If that song was anything to go by, Ollie didn’t hate me at all.  He was in pain, but he didn’t hate me. He still loved me, and I had ruined him.

After the rollercoaster evening I’d had the previous night, I had gotten little to no sleep. My head was filled with confusion. Ollie still loved me. Jared and his jealousy were suffocating me, and my friends though he was controlling. The biggest problem was that I was going to be leaving in three days.

Deciding that I needed a little alone time away from my family, friends, and the pounding in my head, I drove a little distance to the new development that was under construction near the college. I was eager to see how Jared’s money was being spent, and what exactly it was that kept him so busy all the time. Pulling into the parking lot, I stepped out of the car and gazed up at the huge building site. It was over half way finished, and the golden trim was gleaming in the sunlight. Jared and that golden trim. I smiled to myself as I recalled our date and impromptu trip to Garrett’s mall.

I was just reminiscing about how things had changed so much since that night when my stomach gave a loud groan. In my haste to get out of the house, I’d skipped breakfast and lunch was almost over. Looking around, I spotted a cute little bistro opposite the site and headed over. It was French in theme and reminded me of the old nineteen sixties movies. A bicycle was mounted on the wall with some baguettes and garlic bulbs hanging from a wicker basket. The tables and chairs were small with elegant swirled steel legs.

Taking a seat, I browsed the menu. A tall and slim blonde strolled over. Her pink and white apron had a vintage style about it and her hair was pinned back into a neat bun. Holding a notepad and pen in her hand, she gave me a small smile.

“What can I get you?”

After a little humming and ahhing, I finally decided on a latte and a blueberry scone. She brought it over promptly, and as I sat in the corner of the room, I thought about everything that had happened over the past few days. I thought about Ollie, about Jared, and about how everything that was unfolding in my life, was entirely my fault. I suddenly lost my appetite and pushing my plate away, I held my head in my hands, and cried softly.

Everything was a complete mess. How could I ever be with a man who couldn’t trust me? Wiping my eyes with a napkin, I glanced up and saw a familiar face leaving the bathroom. Arthur Kent was one of Jared’s business associates and after meeting him several times, I also knew he was a wonderful man, too. Not pompous, snooty or anything you’d expect a man of his age and social standing to be. Straightening out his suit jacket, he headed for the door. I was hopeful that he wouldn’t see me. Tear stained and hiding in a corner wasn’t a great look for the girlfriend of Mr. Garrett. I clearly wasn’t going to go un-noticed. Seeing me, he headed over with a large grin on his face. It soon dropped as he saw my clearly distressed state.

“My dear, Layla. What on Earth is wrong? Are you all right? Do you need help?”

The concern on his face was endearing. Shaking my head, I tried to force a smile, but it was of no use.

“Oh, my dear. Now, come, come. What could possibly be so bad?”

Sliding in to the seat beside me, he placed a gentle and comforting hand on mine.

“It’s Jared.”

“Ah, I see.”

Taking a deep breath I tried to explain how I was feeling.

“He’s wonderful. He’s attentive, sweet, and romantic and I know he loves me dearly, but he’s also just so …”

Patting my hand, he cut me off. “Possessive, protective, and domineering.”

I stared at him, wide-eyed with surprise and nodded slowly. He’d taken the words right out of my mouth.

He sighed heavily, rubbed his hands over his face, and briefly looked around us to ensure we weren’t being listened to. He seemed a little awkward.

“You see, in the business world, you have to be ruthless. If you want something, you take it before someone else beats you to the punch. We hunger for control and order, and unfortunately, this often spills over in to our personal life. What to you seems protective and overbearing, we see it as keeping and securing what is ours. Sadly, everything in life becomes a possession. We ruin relationships and in many cases, it’s why we choose not to have them at all.”

I gave him a confused look. “We?”

Staring down at the table, he nodded ruefully.

“We.
Several years ago when I was a little older than Garrett is now, I was engaged. Marie was everything to me. She was beautiful, intelligent, fun, and lit up my life like a lantern in the dark. But she was also a free spirit. She’d go out to parties, socialize, and meet with people. Some were men and I found it harder and harder to control my anger. I was jealous and afraid that I would lose her. I tried to control her. I made rules, demanded that she stop seeing people, and even had her followed to places. Of course, when she discovered this, she begged me to stop and to trust that she loved only me, but I couldn’t. I could only see her slipping away and out of my grasp. I held tighter and inevitably, it cost me everything. She left me with a broken heart, and I have regretted it ever since. I lost my first and only love because of my dominating nature, and I have never forgotten it because she was the only thing I could never gain control over.

After her, I simply had a string of meaningless flings and encounters.
I was too weak to fight who I was and to love her enough to let her be herself, and it cost me everything. I let her walk away from me when I should have listened to her and tried to change. I’ll regret it forever. But you, you two have a chance. Jared knows he is this way, he just need a push in the right direction. He’s thoughtless and callous at times, but I know he loves you. I’ve seen it. One can always recognize a man in love. He seems … complete somehow. He looked at you like you were the only person in the room. That, my dear, is worth fighting for.”

Smiling slightly, I sniffed gently.

“But what if he won’t try? What if he thinks I’m crazy?”

He gave a deep and throaty chuckle. Raising my hand to his lips, he kissed the back of it sweetly.

“You are certainly worth it, and if he truly loves you, which I think he does, he would fall on his knees for you. Give him a chance.”

Laughing lightly myself, I gave him a grateful look.

“Thank you. Really. I feel awful for keeping you. You must be rushed off of your feet. The place is really coming together, isn’t it?”

Turning, I gazed at the construction site across the way.

“Oh, they can manage without me. To be honest, I think they like me out of the way. It’s a beautiful building. Jared had it designed, and he really does have excellent taste, but of course, you know that. You’re one of his finest selections.”

I blushed a deep shade of pink.

“Would you like to see it?” he gestured at the site and grinned.

Biting my lip, I nodded enthusiastically. “If it’s not too much trouble.”

He smiled and stood quickly, offering me his hand. “Not at all. It would be my pleasure.”

Leaving my money on the table beside my un-eaten scone, I took Arthur’s outstretched hand and followed him to the door.

Maybe I’d been wrong; it wasn’t all caused by me. Maybe some of the blame was the world he lived in, the world he was thrust into at such a young age. But hadn’t he told me all of this at the beginning? He warned me that he was a ruthless businessman, and that he would not share me with anyone, and yet I tested him at every chance I got. Maybe I was the one with issues. It was an uncomfortable truth, but either way, this couldn’t go on any longer.