Burning Up (30 page)

Pulling me inside, he slammed the door and pressed his back against it.

“Damn it, Layla! You’re torturing me!”

I backed myself against the far wall and panted as adrenaline raced through my veins. I watched him carefully as he began to pace back and forth across the room.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stand the thought of you with him, near him, or even that you think of him at all. The whole time you’re with me, I constantly wonder if you’re thinking of him … and don’t tell me that you never do.”

I shook my head in a definitive no.

“I won’t lie, Jared. I thought of Ollie a lot. You don’t just stop loving someone. I couldn’t just switch it off. I know that hurts, but maybe it’s time for a little fucking truth around here!”

Striding over fast, he pressed against me. His broad chest was heaving against mine and his eyes were ablaze with
rage.

“I won’t share your affections with him, Layla! It has to be all or nothing.”

I pushed myself against him forcefully, trying to move him backward away from me, but his hot, muscular, and hard body was a wall against mine. “Of course it does! It’s always that way with you!” I sniped.

He lowered his voice, and raising an eyebrow, he sneered at me. “Keep pushing me, Layla. I won’t be toyed with. There’s only so much a man can take before he breaks, and the thought of you with him is chipping at my patience.”

Never breaking eye contact, I smirked back at him. “Drives you crazy, does it? The thought of him touching me, his hands on my skin, his fingers in my hair, and his lips all over my body?”

Taking my wrists in his hands, he lifted them above my head and pressed me further against the wall.

His lips lowered to my ear and the heat of his breath on my neck sent a familiar warmth and erotic message to the rest of my body. We had our problems, but there was one thing Jared always got right. He knew just how to push my buttons, rev my engine, and make me hot.

“It doesn’t drive me crazy, Layla. It drives me to fucking murder! It makes me insane with jealousy, and worse still, is knowing that you enjoy making me feel it.”

He was right. I did enjoy it. It felt justified, and somehow I felt that I was getting even. Was he really so blind that he didn’t realize how much hurt and pain he’d caused me?

“Damn right, I enjoy it! You have no idea what loving you does to me, Jared! It hurts! The lingerie models, the lies, the hiding, the stalking, the thing with Alicia, and the fucking media frenzy. My life has been turned on its head and I’m dizzy with it all. I’m tired and I’m done crying my eyes out over you. I can’t take the pain anymore. I can’t be what you want me to be.”

Releasing my hands, he stood back and gazed at me.

“You are everything I want you to be and so much more. Layla, I … I don’t know what to say. I’ve made mistakes, but everything I’ve done has been for you.”

Tears rolled gently down my cheeks. “No, you did it for you. You did it because you don’t trust me. You don’t trust how I feel, and no matter what I do, it’ll never be enough. I left everything for you. I chose to be with you, and yet you still couldn’t believe that you were what I wanted. It’s why you follow me, lie to me, and hide things. You’re so afraid that I’ll leave you, you didn’t notice that you were pushing me away.”

Rushing to me, he cupped my face in his hands and lifted my chin. His deep blue eyes were glistening with the tears he was clearly trying to hold back himself.

“Please, Layla. Don’t give up on me. I told you I’d get it wrong, and I hate seeing you like this. It tears me apart.”

I shook my head ruefully. “I can’t do this anymore. We go around and around in circles, and my heart can’t take another cycle of us.”

Pressing his forehead to mine, he pressed his lips gently to mine. “Please.”

Trailing his kisses sweetly and slowly over my face, his thumbs wiped my tears away.

“Please, Layla. I love you.”

As his mouth closed over mine, I couldn’t fight the instinctual response. My tongue slid into his mouth, searching for his. My teeth nipped gently on his bottom lip as he kissed me with a hungry and carnal passion. I moved my hands to his face, cupping it, before slowly gliding them up into his hair and tangling my fingers in the luscious golden locks. I pulled and tugged, urging him closer and deepening the kiss. My insides were aching from the need and lust building inside me, and my knees were buckling from the warmth between my thighs. My body knew Jared’s touch and the way his hands began moving temptingly over the curves of my breasts, was tempting me further. His voice was hoarse and breathless as he spoke between delicious and tantalizing kisses.

“I need you Layla. I can’t breathe without you. I feel as though someone ripped the air from my lungs.”

His hands glided down to my hips and his fingertips grazed the exposed flesh between my jeans and my shirt. I gasped slightly and the sensation. A shiver ran through me and my breathing became harsh and rapid. Jared’s lips caressed my collar bone and I let out a soft moan. The aching between my thighs was intensifying, and as he pressed against me, I could feel his long, hard erection against my leg. My hands released his hair, and taking his shirt in my hands, I hurriedly unbuttoned it. My fingers teased and stroked his firm, hard chest. His caramel skin was calling to me. His lips left my neck and his hands began unzipping my jeans. I panted and bit my lip, and my own fingers unzipped his pants with the same eagerness. His erection sprung free, and taking it in my hand, I began rubbing it up and down, back and forth. His own hand dipped inside my panties and gently fondled my swollen clit. I rested my head back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling, arching my back and thrusting my hips as his fingers rubbed and massaged me.

“Let it go, Layla. I’ll make you forget all of it. I’ll make you forget all the hurt, the pain, I’ll even make you forget your own name. All you’ll remember is mine when you’re screaming it from the top of your lungs.”

He thrust a long and skilled finger inside of me, and I yelped with unexpected pleasure. My own hands were still stroking up and down his firm and solid shaft. My thumb teased the tip of his cock and he let out a long and deep groan. “I need you, Layla. Now.”

Withdrawing his hand, he pushed my jeans to my ankles and I speedily kicked them off. I whipped his belt from their loops on his pants causing them to fall to the floor in a heap around his feet. Lifting me up, his thick arms tensed as he held me against the wall and wrapped my legs around his waist.  His teeth nipped gently on my bottom lip.

“Say it, Layla.”

I shook my head. “No,” I panted as the tip of his cock teased the opening of my sex. Thrusting upward, he sank himself inside me, and I inhaled sharply.

“Do you want me, Layla?”

I didn’t respond. Thrusting harder, he kissed me hungrily.

“Say it.”

His hips stopped moving and I wriggled shamelessly, trying to get the sweet and wonderful friction of him inside me to continue, but he was too strong and gripping my hips in place, he stilled my movements.

“No, Layla. I won’t do this without you.”

Grunting with frustration, I clutched my hands on his shoulders and stared into his stunning blue eyes.

“I want you, Jared. Now.”

His eyes closed and a look of relief swept across his face.

“Good girl.”

Driving himself deeper and deeper with every grind of his hips, his eyes never left my own, and the intensity of his gaze was penetrating me harder than the thrusts of his cock inside me. My pain, anger, and resentment for him were simmering beneath the lust and passionate need for him to fuck me. My body knew Jared, and it yearned for more. He was a drug, and I was hooked on him. My veins were flooded with the intoxicated adrenaline rush that only his firm hand and dominate tone could give me.

“Oh, Layla. Being away from you has been torture. Being unable to touch, lick, caress, and fuck you has been hell on Earth.”

His tongue licked and his mouth teased on my neck, and he rested his head on my shoulder. I arched my back as his hands palmed and massaged my ass.

“I’m going to do something to you I’ve never done before, Layla.”

My eyes flew open, and I held my breath for a moment. Meeting my gaze, he stared at me with a look of hot, unbridled lust.

“Trust me.”

This was a request that I found hard to acquiesce with. Trust didn’t come easy for us, and shaking my head, I panted ‘no.’

His teeth clamped down onto my earlobe gently. “Trust me. I’ve never steered you wrong before.”

He had a point. Where Jared was lacking in the other areas of his life, sex was the one thing I could count on, and in that sense, I trusted him implicitly. It was strange and heartbreaking. The most intimate act in the world and I felt more honesty in our fucking than in our entire relationship.

I nodded gently, and sliding my hands around to his back, I clutched at his shirt and held him close. His frenzied and vigorous thrusting became more relaxed and gazing into my eyes, he kissed me. He kissed me tenderly and sweetly. Jared loved me. Above all else and beyond all the deceit, this one thing was true without a doubt.

“I’m going to make you come so hard that you lose control of all your senses. You’ll beg me for it. Do you want to come, Layla?”

Desperate for the release, I nodded.

“Say it, Layla. Tell me how much you want me. Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

Biting my lip, I groaned as he leaned back slightly, angling himself so that the tip of his cock brushed against my sweet spot.

“Oh, God!”

Jared chuckled wickedly. “Not quite, but close. I’ll take you to heaven, baby. I’ll make you fly. Just tell me what you want.”

“Fuck me. Make me moan, scream, and come so hard that I cry. I want to forget all the shit you’ve put me through. I need to forget, just for a moment. You owe me this.”

My words struck a chord, and pressing his lips to mine determinedly, he nodded.

“Hold on to me tightly and relax. I promise this will feel good. Just relax.”

Withdrawing from me, he slid his hand over my sex and slipped two fingers inside me. He teased and stroked me, moving his fingers around in a circular motion before quickly pulling them out and plunging his stiff cock back into me. I fought the urge to cry out. I was acutely aware that we could be caught any moment by someone coming into the office. His hips moved slowly, pumping me while his hand slowly moved to my behind. I held my breath, wondering what he had planned and as my climax began to build, Jared gently and with tender care, pushed his fingers into my behind. The shock of his fingers
there
made me yelp and almost squeal. I took in a quick breath and stared at him. My hands tightened their grasp on his shirt and I clung to him. It felt tight, unusual, but not painful. In fact, it was … good. He eased it in and out gently, matching each movement with the rhythm of his thrusts.

I’d been shocked at how good it felt when he’d used his tongue to torment me in the bedroom, but this was something else. It felt intense and I felt so incredibly full. My insides were clenching harder and faster than ever before, and the strength of my orgasm was beginning to grow, making me squirm. I tensed my thighs and my feet hooked together at the ankles, pressing them against Jared’s behind.

“I love you, Layla.”

“I hate you,” I sighed.

“No you don’t. I’ve hurt you. I will never hurt you again. Just love me, please. Love me,” he begged.

Tears rolled down my cheeks and onto his shoulder. My heart was pounding so hard that I could hear the palpitations ringing in my ears. The room was disappearing as my orgasm took hold. Biting my lip, I came hard around him.

“I love you,” I breathed. It wasn’t a lie, but it still stuck in my throat.

Withdrawing his finger, Jared plunged into me again, groaning, grunting, and his mouth made that perfect O shape that it always did when he climaxed. His eyes closed, and as I watched him, something inside me hurt. A physical pain shot through my chest like a knife. We were repeating old mistakes, and I was a willing participant. Something between us had changed, and as he rested his forehead against mine, I couldn’t control the tears. Letting me go and letting my feet drop gently to the floor, Jared wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

“Shhh. It’s okay, baby. It’ll all be fine, now. I’m going to fix this. Alicia, therapy, everything is going to get better, I promise you this.”

Pushing away from him, I shook my head and picked up my panties and jeans, hurriedly pulling them back on. Watching me, Jared did the same and straightened his shirt.

“No, it won’t get better and it won’t be all right. This doesn’t change anything.”

Reaching for my hand, he pulled me into a close embrace.

“Don’t say that, Layla. Please don’t make this something to regret. God, this is so fucking ridiculous. Why do you have to make this so complicated? I love you; you love me. What’s so hard about that?”

He lifted my chin to look at him, but I couldn’t. The hurt in his eyes was cutting me
severely.

“Everything about us is hard. Everything we do and have done has been complicated, too. We never seem to get it right, and I’m tired of fighting. I’m sick of tears and tantrums. I don’t regret it, Jared. I won’t ever regret it, but it was just sex. It changes nothing.”