Bush League: New Adult Sports Romance (30 page)

Allie

She looked absolutely beautiful. It had taken so much work and preparation to get here but now my mother was ready to have her day. When it was just the two of us alone, with her studying every angle of herself in the mirror, it was hard not to realize that it was never going to be just the two of us again. We had been through so much together, us against the world, but she had somebody new now. I suppose it's a little selfish to be sad about it, I had left the nest forever ago to go off and do my own thing. I couldn't expect her to be waiting around for me to come visit. She was in love and that was beautiful. I needed to be happy that she had found it.

"Allie he just makes me feel so special," she beamed while ensuring her makeup looked good and her body was all tucked in place. "I knew the moment I met him that I couldn't spend another minute without him."

My hands stayed busy, smoothing out any wrinkles, inventing them when I couldn't find any. Even the dress made me feel pain, while my mother looked gorgeous in it, I had used it for much more scandalous purposes before it went off to the cleaner. That dress, which would always be a part of the family, would always remind me of the time I spent in love with someone who I could never be with.

"Has anyone ever made you feel that way Allie?" she asked after turning from the mirror. I looked down, away from the dress that knew my secret, away from my mother who I couldn't face. Tears had been loaded on deck for most of the day, for a number of reasons, and threatened to come flowing out right then.

"Oh, sweetie, it's ok," my mother tried to console me without touching me too much, lest her makeup or wardrobe falter because of it. "You'll find someone, I know it. Pretty, smart girl like you. Maybe he's already found you and you just don't know it yet."

If there were any point where I risked breaking out in heaving sobs, that was it. What if I had met that person but couldn't be with him? What if my one and only shot at love was going to pass me by forever? I would never know the comforting joy that consumed my mother, I would never know that my soul mate was sleeping soundly next to me. I had had my one shot and it was gone forever.

"You have plenty of time, sweetheart," she continued. "Look how long it took me!"

It took all of my strength to attempt a giggle along with her. She didn't need to be burdened with the weight I was carrying on my shoulders. She would instead learn it later when she would watch her only daughter go through life alone, all because her one, true love was forbidden and unrealistic.

"Let's go get you married, mom," I was able to get out, feeling dread come over me, not wanting to see two people celebrate love without acknowledging the harsh side those like me know all too well. It's not all weddings and roses for everyone, some of us are doomed to spend the rest of our life wondering what might have been.

*****

Finn

I was happy for my dad, so happy to see him standing up in front of that crowd with the biggest smile on his face. It was nice to be up there with him and for once, I didn't feel the pressure to be the center of attention. Everyone had come to wish him and his new bride well and celebrate the fact that they were really in love. My attention was swayed the moment I saw the other angel walking down the aisle though. Allie moved with grace and beauty, the sunlight behind her illuminating her perfectly. There was no person at the wedding, hell, no person in the whole world more beautiful than her. My heart felt like it may just outright stop in its tracks with each step she made closer to me.

I tried to remain focused on my father, tried to remember that this was about him and Marybeth, but I couldn't. The most perfect person for me was right here and I had to continue to force myself to try and forget her.

Allie stood on the other side of the altar, behind her mother, and from my position I tried to get her attention. Her hair done up in braids, the peach dress she was wearing perfectly accentuating her flawless body, I was desperate for her attention. I didn't care who else noticed me in any way, I only wanted her to. She paid close attention to the wedding though, not even looking my way which drove me mad. When I finally caught her stealing a glance my way, we made and held eye contact for a moment, a moment in which our souls embraced and lived the lives our regular bodies wished they could forever. There was no point in touring the world, in looking for adulation and fame, no point in anything if I had to walk away from Allie.

If it wouldn't deeply hurt my loving father, I would've stopped the wedding right there. Would've upstaged the whole thing to ask Allie to be mine forever, in front of all these people. I didn't care what they thought, I didn't care what anyone thought. If I had Allie by my side, nothing else would ever matter.

Listening to my father and new step-mother exchange vows, I couldn't help but think that they had no idea what love was. They couldn't possible feel as deeply about each other as I did about Allie. And they didn't know pain, they got to be together. They didn't know what it was like to know you couldn't be with the one person in the whole world that made your heart sing. They were embarking on the rest of their lives together while Allie and I were being forced apart. The ache in my chest was deep and I knew that no matter what, it would be there forever.

"I do," my father told Marybeth.

"I do," she responded.

The two of them kissed to the delight of the crowd and I only felt an intense sadness continue to creep over me. The kiss sealed my fate and there was no turning back now.

*****

Allie

The wedding reception was more torturous than I had expected. Relatives I didn't know or hadn't seen in years all felt the need to come up and ask about my love life. No questions about my career or successes, only prying inquiries into whether or not I was also getting married soon. Much like any wedding, the married guests are all insistent you join their cult, foaming at the mouth, demanding details. I had half a mind to announce Dakota as my lover just to shut them up.

In a move I was incredibly thankful for, for some reason my mother had put Finn and I at separate tables. She must have known how annoyed I would've been with all of the attention Finn was receiving. Of course every time I looked over at him, he was swarmed by tons of people who couldn't believe that
the
Finn Aikens
was actually right there in the same room as them. Some people were losing their minds, dying for close access to him. The way he ate it all up turned my stomach, he loved being fawned over. The broad smile on his face wasn't because of his father getting hitched, it was his delight at the endless parade of people kissing my ass. He was in heaven and I felt sick.

As my mother and new stepfather shared their first dance, I visualized the minutes until I could leave. Though I was typically a good time at a wedding, a dancing machine even, my heart wasn't in it. I wanted to retreat to a private room and close everyone off. I calculated the appropriate time to leave and kept an eye on the clock on my phone, dying for that minute to arrive.

As people paired off on the dance floor and swayed in awkward rhythms, I sat alone at my table, probably looking quite pathetic.

"Mind if I join you?"

Just as I was about to blow off whoever it was, I ate my words upon seeing a clean-cut, very handsome man standing by the table.

"S-s-sure," I stuttered while moving things around to make room. I had made the assumption that he had wanted to sit down right next to me but this good looking gentleman sat a few chairs away.

"Not much of a dancer either?" he asked and I was forced to agree lest tell him the truth. His suit was tailored perfectly to his body, a navy ensemble that made him look professional and important. His jaw was perfectly square, his sandy hair impeccably cut, not a strand out of place. His eyes were like blue crystals, looking deep into my soul with each word. Out of the corner of my eye, I happened to notice Finn looking over at me from the bar. Being such, I moved closer to my new friend and landed a hand on his knee as I laughed along with whatever he had said.

"Finance is a lot of hard work but very, very rewarding," he told me while rubbing his thumb and forefinger together. He was getting difficult to listen to but I continued to do so, hoping Finn was watching and being overcome with jealousy.

The man at my table was the son of one of Finn's father's friends. When he asked about me, I told him I worked with my mother, he didn't need to know the truth.

"What's your read on that guy?" he asked while pointing at Finn. I tried to explain that I didn't get why he was so famous and my friend took that as an invitation to let loose.

"I'm sorry but his music is just so...bad," he started. I was taken aback, he clearly didn't realize who I was so I let him continue. "Guys like me have to work for our money but you got guys like him, they just get to lip sync words someone else wrote for them and dance around on stage."

This guy waited for me to agree to his spiel, as I'm sure so many had before. I knew some people hated Finn for all the wrong reasons but there was so much bitterness coming from this guy. There were just some people that found the need to tear down anyone standing taller than themselves. There was plenty to not like about Finn but this guy was off on pretty much all of his points.

"Excuse me for a moment, I need to go run to the bathroom," I told him while placing my napkin back on the table and getting as far away from him as fast as I could. There was no destination in mind, just a need to get away, to be alone. This banquet hall felt to stuffy, full of too many people I didn't want to be around any longer.

Every bit of me just wanted to leave, to get out and tell my mom later that I had felt ill. I was frozen in place, uncertain of how to get out cleanly without hurting my Mom. Finally I found a quiet room with a lonely piano in the corner. Coats were hung on racks and there wasn't a soul in sight. Despite not having any idea how to play, I sat down and let my fingers run over the smooth ivory, wishing more than anything I had the power to express myself via song, like Finn. It was hopeless, the awkward notes I caused to ring out didn't at all reflect how I felt. Random, unmelodic notes left me frustrated and annoyed.

"Do you want me to show you how to play?"

From behind, a voice like silk bathed my exposed skin and gave me chills. Without even looking, I knew exactly who it was, I was just unsure of how he found me.

When Finn sat down next to me on the bench, I was too exhausted to run away. He gently placed his big, large, talented hands on top of mine and guided me to a select group of keys. When we both pushed down, the sound that came out was absolutely heartbreaking.

She runs and hide
s, he spoke-sang before re-positioning my hands to another mournful sounding set of chords.

From all she loves

My hands were moved again, we pressed down together and his voice matched the notes.

But I'm right here waiting,

for her to come home

The sound of his singing voice in concert with the piano made me almost start to cry, it was so beautiful. He moved me to the next keys.

Though I'm scared and alone,

when I find her, I'll never let her go

Finn's face had moved close to mine until our foreheads were touching, our breath tickling each other; his with lyrics he sang to me, mine in anxious, pensive bursts. Though I swore to walk away and never look back, though I knew full well he was no good for me, the connection I felt with Finn was absolutely impossible to ignore. We drifted to each other as if we needed each other to live. He completed me in a way I feared nobody else ever could. No matter what I promised myself, I was drawn to him in a way that felt impossible to explain. As our lips ventured towards each others yet again, I felt denying this bond we had was impossible.

“Wait,” I called out when my head snapped back and my eyes opened wide. The surprise revolt my body staged surprised me and I found Finn staring at me with confused eyes. “I want to surprise you with something,” I told him. My hands began to undo his tie and he was very excited at the prospect of what he thought was in store. As soon as his burgundy tie was free, I playfully placed the fat part over his eyes and reached behind his head to tie a secure knot.

“Now play me a song, I want to see if you can do it blind. When you're done, I'll give you your surprise,” I told him, getting up but standing right behind him. Finn's fingers effortlessly found the right keys and he began to play me a different song, one just as special as the last. As he plunked the right keys and filled the empty room with his joyful noise, I started to take small steps backwards, never turning my back to him.

He was still playing as I left the room and ran as far away as I could get.

*****