Bushedwhacked Bride (7 page)

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Authors: Eugenia Riley

Tags: #Time Travel, #American West, #Humor

BOOK: Bushedwhacked Bride
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Stepping into the kitchen, Jessica was literally besieged by suitors and the smell of bay rum.
Pretty boys
straight in a row,
she thought ruefully as Billy, Gabe, Wes,
and Luke all rushed up to greet her. To a man they were
well scrubbed, in clean shirts, with neatly parted, gleaming hair and wide grins splitting their faces. All four bore gifts.

“Well, howdy, ma’am, don’t you make a purty pic
ture?” declared Billy, thrusting a bouquet under Jessica’s
nose.

Laughing, she accepted the spray of black-eyed susans,
purple gentians, and blue columbine. “Why, thank you
kindly, sir. These are lovely.”

“Picked ‘em myself,” Billy informed her proudly,
rocking on his boot heels. “Just for my lady’s pleasure.”

Jessica was on the verge of thanking him again when
Wesley, gleaming like a new penny, thrust a small tin into
her free hand.

“Here, ma’am, have some horehound candy. I’ve only
sampled three pieces.”

“Why, thanks, Wesley.”

Luke took his turn, dangling a length of satiny green before Jessica’s eyes. “Here, ma’am, have this purty hair
ribbon. I picked it out to favor those comely eyes of
yours.”

Before Jessica could thank him, Ma complained loudly
from the stove, “You mean you stole it from my sewing
box, you slimy weasel.”

At this, Wesley’s brothers roared with laughter, while he colored. “Ma, please! You ain’t got no call to go humiliating me that way.”

Wiping her hands on her apron, Ma stepped forward and flashed Jessica a smile. “Well, don’t you look purty all starched up, Miss Jessie. Here, I’ll put those in some
water for you.”

Jessica handed over the bouquet. ‘Thank you, Mrs.
Reklaw.”

Now Gabe strode up, extending a crude, yellowish
lump toward Jessica. “Ma’am, would you care for a bar
of lye soap?”

At this rather bizarre offering, Jessica giggled, and the
other brothers all but split their sides laughing. Ma
stormed back up, shaking a finger at Gabe. “What do you mean, you devil, offering the lady a bar of soap after she’s
already gone and scrubbed herself? Don’t you have no
idea how downright insulting that is?”

Gabe blushed miserably, his gaze darting from Ma to
Jessica. “Ma, I meant no disrespect toward the lady. Only
you told us to bring her some ditties, and Billy, Wes, and
Luke already stole everything that weren’t nailed down
‘round here. This is the onliest gift I could find—least
wise, till us boys go to town.”

“Well, I say a polecat has better manners,” declared Ma..

“Really, it’s fine,” Jessica reassured Ma. “I’m honored
to have the soap, Gabe.”

Ma harrumphed and returned to the stove, while Gabe
grinned and dropped the lump into Jessica’s hand.

Now Luke dashed over to the huge table already set for
seven. “Ma’am, may I pull out this bench for you?”

“Why, certainly, Luke,” Jessica replied, starting for
ward.

Then she staggered as Billy, Gabe, and Wes all dashed
into her path, all but knocking her over as they confronted
Luke.

“Hey, Luke, it ain’t fair
you
get to pull out the lady’s
bench,” Billy protested.

“Yeah, it ain’t fair,” seconded Gabe.

But Luke stood his ground with arms akimbo and chin
held high. ‘Too bad. I asked the lady first.”

“Then Gabe and me get to sit by her,” argued Billy.

“Yeah,” said Gabe.

“What about me?” complained Wesley.

“Heck, I reckon you can squat by the lady’s feet and
lick up her crumbs,” taunted Billy, prompting more
mirth.

Jessica was starting toward the bench again when she
spotted Cole standing in the far corner, gazing at her with
sin and mischief in his dark eyes. She felt a hot blush
creeping up her cheeks as she again recalled his kiss, and
the brazen way he’d flirted with her in his room after
ward. Lord! One would think she was a quivering virgin
from the way she was responding to him. She hastily tore
her gaze away and primly sat down, smoothing her skirts
and murmuring a thank you to Luke. At once, Billy and
Gabe vaulted into their places beside her on the bench, almost tipping it over in the process. She glared at both, but
the rascals only grinned.

Wesley and Luke sat down on the bench across from
her, and Cole took his seat at one end of the table. Then
Ma began bringing food to the table—a large platter
heaped with a mountain of luscious-smelling fried
chicken, a huge bowl of mashed potatoes, a tureen brim
ming with buttery cream gravy, plates of corn and biscuits.
Jessica found her mouth was watering uncontrollably, and
she smiled at the boys’ ravenous expressions.

Before Ma was even in her chair, Billy reached out to grab a drumstick. Ma promptly slapped his hand. “Mind your manners, you little snot. Have ya already forgot we
got a lady present?”

“Sorry, ma’am,” Billy told Jessica sheepishly.

After Ma sat down, all waited in silent anticipation,
until she nodded to Wes. “Wesley, return thanks.”

While Billy and Gabe regarded each other in amaze
ment, Wesley’s mouth dropped open. “Ma, you know we
don’t ever—”

“I said say grace, you rascal.”

“Yes, ma’am.” But Wesley still appeared at a loss.

Jessica bowed her head to hide her amusement. She caught sight of Ma waving her arms. “Bow your heads, all of you heathens.”

“Yes, ma’am,” answered the men.

Jessica waited with the others, until Wesley loudly
cleared his throat. “Dear Lord, we thank you for this here grub. And we especially thank you for this fine lady you
brung us. Just make sure she marries me—all right,
Lord?”

At this audacious pronouncement, pandemonium
erupted at the table. Billy’s head shot up first. “Hey, no
fair!” he protested to Wesley. “You can’t pray just for
yourself like that.”

“Yeah, that’s taking the Almighty’s name in vain,” put
in Gabe.

“Yeah, to be fair, you gotta pray that
all
of us gets to wed her,” concluded Luke with an impassioned nod.

Then the boys flinched as Ma’s fist slammed down on the table, rattling the dishes. “Hush up, all of you, before I lose what little religion I got left! You boys is bickering
worse than a passel of females fighting over a new bon
net. How dare you interrupt Wesley a’prayin’? And Wes
ley, that was dealing from the bottom of the deck if I ever
heard it, trying to hoodwink the Almighty, no less. Any
more of that, and you’re out of the contest.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said a much sobered Wesley. Hastily, he
finished. “Thank you, Lord. Amen.”

“Amen,” intoned Ma.

For a few moments the family passed the food and ate
in silence. Jessica couldn’t believe how delicious and
fresh everything tasted, or how hungry she found herself. She devoured two pieces of
chicken, a large helping of mashed potatoes, and two gravy-soaked biscuits. Occasionally she caught Cole
watching her with wry amusement. Then she observed Luke and Wes snickering to one another.

She turned to Luke. “Am I doing something wrong?”

He chuckled. “You know, sugar, you ain’t exactly
being hanged in the morning.”

Jessica was perplexed. “What do you mean?”

Grinning, Wesley explained, “It’s just, we ain’t used to
seeing no ladies that eat like lumberjacks.”

Ma harrumphed. “How many
ladies
have you two buz
zards seen, anyhow?”

“We seen a few in
Colorado
City
,” asserted Luke. “And
they always pick at their food like puny little kittens.”

“Well, the
ladies
you two seen sure don’t have hogs to
slop or wood to chop at home,” Ma scolded. “Rolling around in the hay with you heathens don’t wear ‘em out
overly, I reckon.”

Shame-faced, the men fell silent. Jessica lifted her nap
kin to hide her amusement.

A moment later, Gabe cleared his throat. “So, Miss Jessie, where are you from?”

The question washed Jessica with a chill. Where
was
she from? Perhaps the truth—or a variation thereof—
would suffice.


I’m from
Greeley
,” she answered.


Greeley
, eh?” asked Billy as he chomped on a drum
stick. “You’re a fer piece from home, ain’t you, sugar?
You got kin there?”

Jessica felt awash in sadness as she thought of her fam
ily—wherever they were—and realized she might never
see them again. “Yes, a mother and father. An older
brother.”

The boys exchanged worried looks. “You look right
melancholy, ma’am,” put in Luke. “Are you missing your kin?”

Jessica felt a new shiver course down her spine. “Of
course I am—and they’ll miss me as well.”

“Will they send someone after you?” inquired Wesley.

“Perhaps.” Sternly, Jessica added, “You know, you
men really should release me.”

Billy glanced nervously at Cole, and he spoke to Jessica with quiet authority. “But didn’t you say you came out here to teach school, Miss Jessie?”

Jessica felt flustered. She had no idea why she was re
ally here! She had only played along with what she’d
heard the sheriff say back at the stagecoach. “Er—yes, I
suppose I did say that.”

“Then your people won’t be expecting to hear from
you any time soon, now will they?” he went on with im
peccable logic.

“I suppose not,” she conceded.

“Then why should we let you go?” he pursued.

“Perhaps because it’s the decent thing to do?” she
snapped.

Ma reached out to pat Jessica’s hand. “Now, honey. Don’t go getting yourself all worked up again. We’ll be
taking good care of you, you’ll see. Why, when things
settle down and you marry up with one of my boys, we’ll
even let you send your people a letter.”

“Thanks,” she muttered frozenly. “I can’t wait.”

Gabe leaned toward Jessica with a grin. “Speaking of marriage, have you decided yet which one of us you
favor?”

Even as Ma would have protested, Cole stepped in.
“Hey, boys, she’s not just picking out a new pair of danc
ing slippers. Give the lady some time.”

Jessica regarded Cole coolly. “Thanks for defending
me, Mr. Reklaw, but you’re still assuming a lot. As I men
tioned to your mother this afternoon, I’m not sure I want to marry at all—much less, one of you five.”

“One of us
four,”
corrected Billy. “Cole ain’t compet
ing.”

Jessica flashed Cole a nasty smile. “Well, he could
have fooled me.”

Cole laughed heartily while his brothers glowered with
suspicion. “Cole, have you been a’sparkin’ Miss Jessie behind our backs?” demanded Gabe.

“Would I do that?” he countered innocently.

“Sure as Sunday,” asserted Luke.

“Yeah, in the blinking of a hog’s eye,” added Gabe.

Cole only chuckled.

Meanwhile, Billy flashed Jessica his most winsome
smile. “Ma’am, please, you must marry up with one of
us. I promise we’ll treat you just like a princess.”

“Yeah, we’ll even buy you your own mule if you’d like
one,” put in Gabe.

As male chuckles swept the table, Wesley snorted a laugh. “Gabe, have you been eating loco weed or some
thing? What would a lady want with a mule?”

Luke elbowed Wesley. “Well, she could use that there
soap Gabe gave her to scrub it.”

The men had another gut-splitting laugh at Gabe’s ex
pense. Then Ma beat her fist again. “Enough of this marriage talk and sparking. Miss Jessie is right. She only just
arrived here. You can’t be expecting her to choose up a husband for at least a day or two.”

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