Authors: Cher Carson
He savored her sweetness, basking in her unique flavor as he
circled her clit with his tongue, forcing her to give him the release he’d
earned. “Not yet,” he said when she tried to push him away. “I’m not even close
to bein’ done with you yet.” The force of her orgasm rocked her, but instead of
allowing her to retreat, he used his mouth to coerce her into climbing the peak
again, slowly and steadily, until her entire body trembled and she sobbed.
“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered, gathering her in his arms.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He held her tight, never wanting to let her go as
she sobbed quietly in his arms.
“I feel so stupid.” She sniffled. “I don’t even know why I’m
crying, except…”
The look in her eye told him more than he needed to know.
Please,
no.
“Don’t,” he said. “I don’t wanna hear it. Not now.”
Not yet.
He
wasn’t one to live in denial. He always faced his problems head on, but this
time, he wasn’t ready to do that. He wanted to hold on to the belief that he
could make her fall in love with him, that her family and friends would pale in
comparison to her need to be a part of his life.
He poised himself above her, trying to ignore the tears
sliding down her cheeks into her hairline. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
He wasn’t supposed to feel this way about a woman who could never love him
back.
“Let me make love to you.” His voice was gruff, hiding his
fear of rejection, because he knew if she told him to leave now, he’d have no
choice but to go. She never agreed to be his submissive. He had no control over
her. For the first time in his life, he surrendered his power, and he had the
sinking feeling it would be the biggest mistake he ever made.
Without a word, she guided his shaft to her entrance and
tipped her legs open to welcome him. He wanted to believe that she’d had a
change of heart, but the sadness he saw in her eyes told him that nothing
changed. Sliding into her tight sheath reminded him of the last time they came
together, but this time it was so much more. Back then, she was a hot stranger,
but now she was the woman he would lay down his own life to protect.
“Feels like comin’ home,” he muttered. By the time he
realized he’d said the words aloud, he knew it was too late to take them back.
He looked into her eyes and they stayed like that for endless minutes,
suspended in time as he tried to remember how to breathe. “Don’t tell me this
doesn’t feel right. You know this is what you’ve been waitin’ for, what we’ve
both been waitin’ for.”
“No.” She bit her lip, obviously trying to rein in her own
emotions. “Don’t say that.”
Trying to ignore her protests, his mind shut down and he
willed his body take the lead. Thrusting deeper, harder, faster… he lost
control. He became a man possessed by the darkness he’d tried so hard to keep
leashed. He was desperate, intense, but when he heard her shout his name,
reason resurfaced and he pulled out.
As she scrambled to her feet with the blanket wrapped around
her, he finally realized the pounding wasn’t coming from the pressure in his
head. Someone was outside, yelling for her to open the damn door. Her brother,
Jake.
Shit.
He needed to say something, to apologize for being so rough
with her, for zoning out, but before he could voice his regret, she stumbled
toward the door. He pulled his jeans on and tried to focus on what he needed to
say to her, to try and make her understand that he wasn’t a monster. He was
just a guy trying to figure out how to deal with his feelings for her.
“You son of a bitch,” Jake McCoy said, storming in to the
house as soon as his sister unlocked the door. “I knew that was your truck
parked outside. You worthless piece of shit,” he said, coming at Cole hard and
fast, shoving him against the wall. “I thought you were my friend.”
Cole wasn’t worried about holding his own in a fight against
Jake, but that was the last thing he wanted. They were friends, and he didn’t
want Jake to think he’d compromised that friendship by taking advantage of his
little sister. Cole pushed him back so he could step away from the wall. “Just
relax, we—”
“I trusted you. When you talked to us about all that sick
shit you were in to, I never thought you’d try makin’ my baby sister one of
your
submissives
.” He said the word like it left a foul taste in his mouth.
“Look, it’s not like that.” He reached for his shirt and
took a minute to put it on while he tried to decide how to define his
relationship with Charlene. “We’re friends.”
Jake glared at him as he pointed at his sister. “You look
like a hell of a lot more than that to me. I heard you.”
Cole closed his eyes as he tried to shut out exactly what
his friend had heard. He knew he was on the slick side of sane by the time he
realized someone was at the door, but he wouldn’t let himself believe that he
pushed Charlene further than she was willing to go. He looked at her, desperate
to make amends. “Sweetheart, I—”
“Get the fuck out of here,” Jake said, shoving him. “Before
I throw you out.”
Charlene shivered beneath the blanket and stared at the
ground instead of looking at him.
“Baby, please,” Cole said, taking a step toward her. “I need
to—”
“What you need to do is get the hell out of here before I
arrest you!” Jake shouted, pushing Cole towards the door. He picked up Cole’s
boots and hurled them outside, hitting the door and window of his truck. “If
you ever come near my sister again, so help me God, I’ll see your ass in jail.”
“Listen to me—”
Cole stood staring at the closed door, feeling sick to his
stomach as he tried to imagine what Charlene was thinking. If he’d lost her…
No, losing her wasn’t an option he was willing to consider.
“Just give me a minute,” Charlene said to her brother as she
made her way into the powder room. Thankfully a robe hung on the back of the
door, and she slipped into it before leaning over the sink to stare at her
reflection in the small oval mirror. Her mind raced as she tried to come to
terms with what had happened tonight.
Cole was rough, but it was exhilarating, knowing she could
make a man lose control like that. Aside from that summer night with Cole, her
sex life was mundane, to say the least. Her lovers were always gentle and
respectful, as though they thought she was made of glass. She loved that Cole wasn’t
afraid to unleash his passion on her, prompting her to do the same.
She blushed when she thought about what her brother had
overheard. She screamed Cole’s name, pierced his back with her fingernails,
begged, pleaded for him to make her come for a third time.
How mortifying
was that?
She knew her big brother didn’t even want to
think
about
her having sex, much less bear witness to her enthusiastic response at the
hands of one of his closest friends.
A knock on the door startled her, and she pressed a hand on
her chest to still her racing heart. How would she handle this? How could she
make her brother understand?
“Get out here, kid. We need to talk. Now.”
Jake had always been bossy, a habit she hoped he would
outgrow now that they were adults.
No such luck
. She took a deep breath
and pulled the bathroom door open, pushing past him. “If you’re going to
lecture me about my sex life, save it. I’m a big girl. I can sleep with anyone
I want to.”
Jake followed her into the living room where she folded the
blanket and stoked the dwindling fire. “What the hell happened to Paul? I
thought things were gettin’ serious with him?”
She knew she shouldn’t have invited Paul and his daughter to
Thanksgiving dinner at her parents’ house. Now everyone assumed it was only a
matter of time before they announced their engagement. “Paul and I never agreed
to be exclusive.”
“Come on, I saw the way he looked at you when the folks had
them over for dinner. That guy’s crazy about you.”
She turned to face him, deciding complete disclosure was the
only way to get him to back down. “Paul and I have never been intimate. So if
you think I’m sleeping around, I’m not.”
Jake raked his hands through his hair, looking as embarrassed
as she felt. “That’s not the point, and you know it. You can’t be with Cole.”
Setting her hands on her hips, she glared up at him. “Who
the hell are you to tell me who I can and can’t sleep with? I’m not some little
girl you can—”
He held his hand up to halt her tirade. “Everyone knows
Cole’s deal. How could you even think about gettin’ involved with him?” Jake
sighed as he started pacing the room. “If you don’t care about your own
reputation, at least think about what this will do to mama and daddy. What’ll
their friends at church say about this?”
After forcing herself to take a deep breath, Charlene said,
“I can’t believe you’re saying these things. I thought Cole was one of your
best friends.”
Jake scowled at the floor where the blanket had been spread
out in front of the fireplace. “He was, until I found out he was takin’
advantage of my baby sister. Who the hell does—”
“Stop it! Cole didn’t take advantage of me. You said you
were standing outside; you should know I was a willing participant.”
His face paled as he sank into an armchair. “I don’t get it.
Are you tellin’ me you’re into that stuff? You get off on men hurtin’ you,
degradin’ you…”
“It’s never been like that with Cole. He—”
“Hold on a minute. What do you mean it’s
never
been
like that with Cole? Are you tellin’ me y’all have been together before?”
Charlene knew her brother would hound his friend until he
got the whole story. She’d much rather save Cole the grief. “There was one
other time, during summer break when I was home from school. We met at Dixie’s.
We didn’t intend to see each other again after that, but—”
Jake raised his hand. “Are you tellin’ me you planned on
havin’ a one-night stand with some stranger you picked up in a bar? What the
hell were you thinkin’?”
“I didn’t set out to, but…”
“But what?”
“I was attracted to him. I was curious about—”
“Forget it. I don’t want to know the details.”
Grateful he wasn’t pressing her for intimate details about
their encounter, Charlene gladly changed direction. “You know his daughter is
in my class this year, right?”
“Yeah. So?”
How could she describe her relationship with Cassidy? Did
she have the courage to tell her brother that she’d grown to love the little
girl almost as much as her stubborn daddy? “Cole volunteered for a field trip,
helps out with pizza lunch on Fridays…” She smiled at her brother’s shocked
expression. “He even offered to coach the basketball team with me.”
“You know he’s just doin’ all this to get in good with you,
don’t you? The only time he showed his face at the school before you started
workin’ there was at drop off and pick up time.”
Since Jake also had a little boy attending the same school,
she knew his assessment was probably accurate. “He brings me coffee every day
after school, and we sit and talk.” She smiled as she claimed the chair across
from her brother. “Cassidy cleans the chalkboard, sharpens pencils, feeds the
fish, and plays with our hamster, Henry.” She grinned when Jake rolled his
eyes. “I know I’m not supposed to admit that I have a favorite student, but
Cassidy is special.”
“You obviously think her old man’s pretty special too, huh?”
“You know him, Jake. He’s not a bad guy. He loves his little
girl more than anything.”
“Yeah, but not enough to save her the embarrassment of
everyone knowin’ she’s got a father who’s into…
that.
” He sighed. “Look,
I’m not denyin’ Cole’s a good guy. If he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be friends with
him.” He shrugged. “It’s never bothered me before. I figured, what’s it to me what
he does behind closed doors? As long as his partner’s consentin’, he can do
whatever the hell he wants.” His eyes darkened. “But he sure as hell won’t be
doin’ it with my baby sister. I can promise you that.”
She clasped her hands in her lap and tried to calm down.
“You don’t get to decide. I do.”
“Everyone knows what the deal is with Cole.
Everyone
.
He made the mistake of goin’ out with a few local girls when he first came to
town, and I’m tellin’ you it was big news at Mavis’s diner by breakfast Monday
mornin’.”
“It’s none of anyone’s business.” She knew that was true,
but people gossiped about it just the same.
“You really wanna get mixed up in his mess? Jesus, Char,
you’re a teacher. You’re supposed to be a role model for those kids. What are
people gonna think when they find out you’re
seein
’ Cole?”
“You don’t think I’ve thought about that?” She cursed the
tear sliding down her cheek. “You think I want to feel this way? You think I
want to subject myself to ridicule, put my job at risk, and have everybody
talking about me behind my back? I don’t, okay?”
Jake reached out to grab her hand. “Then just stay the hell
away from him. You’ve got a good guy in Paul. Focus on buildin’ that
relationship and forget about this thing with Cole.”
“That’s just it; I don’t know if I can.” She looked Jake in
the eye. “I care about him. A lot.”
He swore softly before squeezing her hand. “I’m not sayin’
it’ll be easy, especially with Cassidy bein’ in your class, but you need to try
and keep your distance. Gettin’ involved with him can only hurt you, honey. I
know him. He’s not interested in settlin’ down. He likes his life out on the
ranch, and he likes bein’ free. Trust me, he’s not lookin’ for a wife, and I
know you don’t want to be alone forever, do you?”
“No, of course not. But—”
“I’m the only other person who knows what happened here
tonight and I intend to keep it that way. Just put that guy out of your mind. It’ll
save us all a lot of grief, and even more importantly, it’ll spare you a broken
heart.”