Butterflies in Honey (Growing Pains #3) (35 page)

“By then it had been a long time. I wanted to
call, but I was so remorseful of my behavior, I chickened out. I
drafted an email, but every time I read it back, it sounded stupid.
Instead, I threw myself into my work. Truth was, I could have
transferred with you into a manager position. A position you have
now. But Tory was talking about restructuring and I convinced
myself I wanted VP. That I deserved it. That I would need it to
deserve you. Tory set the bar extremely high for that position—not
that I blame him. There was a large list of interviewees. Blake
being one of them, of course.

“So I started working and winning. I’ve
actually never worked so hard in my life. By the time I got Junior
VP, I was ready to give up and take the manager position. Life
seemed dull. Running was just to work myself into oblivion. Surfing
was to forget you. But by then…you had moved on.”

“I moved on to try to forget you. I didn’t
think there was any other choice,” Krista said quietly, desperately
trying not to cry .

“I know that now. I didn’t then. I worked
even harder after I found out. To forget. To punish myself, maybe.
I’d heard about you from Tory. About your accomplishments. I think
he was trying to use you as a carrot to the donkey—me being the
donkey, obviously. He’s a shrewd businessman. He knows how to push
people. And I was blowing it up at Dexico. Sale after sale. I made
that company money hand over fist.

“You were still with that guy, though. Chet.
I didn’t much care about a job with Tory anymore because I didn’t
have a hope of getting you back. But by then I’d proven to Tory
what I could do. Immodestly I impressed him. That’s when Tory had
you come to San Francisco. I don’t think he intended to use us for
anything, but he had us pitch an idea anyway. My God, when I saw
you…”

Sean leaned forward on the bar, resting on
his arms. He still wasn’t looking at her when he went on. “I can’t
describe—it was like I got punched in the gut, Krista.” He turned
to her with haunted eyes. “I didn’t remember how beautiful you
were. Are. I mean, I remembered that you were beautiful, but I
didn’t
remember
. It’s hard to explain…”

“Your memories didn’t do it justice. I felt
that way when I saw you. My memories were a shadow of you.”

“Exactly, yes. A pale shadow at that. And you
were so on top of everything. Your poise, your elegance. I had
forgotten about all that. Your confidence and the way you hold
yourself—like nothing in the world can bring you down. Like you are
the rock that people break against. Surfing with you. Running with
you. Helping you with your wetsuit. I tried to stay neutral —you
had a boyfriend after all. But I touched you when I didn’t need to.
Got so worked up I had to walk away. I had to cut off a connection
with you again. I wanted to cut off the pain.” Sean looked at
Krista like he was willing her to understand. “But when you said
you thought about me still... All I wanted was for you to be
happy—with whomever you finally chose. I just…”

Sean broke off and looked at his beer again.
He didn’t look like he was going to continue.

“I broke up with Chet because you told me to
be happy. It wasn’t Chet I wanted.”

“That was my hope. I had been turning Tory
down repeatedly. I didn’t want to be in a place where I would be
reminded of losing you. He was the one who told me about your
relationship status. I finally accepted the job offer, the same day
I heard.”

“Because we are good team?”

“Yes. And because I love you. If he had
changed his mind, I would have found my way to you with or without
the job. Cassie, too.”

“Why are you telling me all this now, Sean?
Why didn’t you tell me before? Or in a more private setting?”

“I wanted to, but you slapped me.”

“Oh yeah. But you had that coming.”

“I know. And you nailed it; I was a
coward.”

“Well, I guess I was, too. I could have
called you, too. I don’t usually let someone get in the way of what
I want.”

“Why didn’t you? Call, I mean? Not saying you
should have. Just…if you thought about me that much…”

“I was scared you didn’t really want me. You
always have everything planned out; always have a concrete reason
for everything you do. I guess I didn’t want to push the envelope
and be wrong. It was easier thinking it was because of Jim.
Otherwise the rejection would have been personal.”

“I find planning life around you is
impossible. You always throw a wrench in everything.”

“I’m just trying to keep it interesting.”
Krista noticed people were making a move toward the restaurant.
Someone must have sounded the cattle call.

“Like tonight…I was going to avoid you again.
Let you mingle on your own. It’s good for people to see you without
me attached. But…how can I keep away when you draw me to you like a
bear to honey?”

“It’s my fault, then, is it?” Krista asked
with a smile.

He smiled back. “Didn’t you know? Men being
helpless in the throes of lust always blame it on the women.”

“Just put a sheet over my head for your
protection.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said as he
leaned closer. He kissed her lightly on the cheek. “Let’s go to
dinner, shall we?”

“Sexual harassment,” Krista muttered as they
got up slowly, their bodies only an inch apart.

“But my god, Krista, you do look beautiful.
I’ve seldom seen you look prettier.”

They walked slowly, Krista’s arm resting in
his like the old days. “You’ve seen me prettier, have you? I
haven’t outdone myself?”

“I have seen you prettier, yes. When you
first wake up and your hair is all tussled and you turn over and
look at me with a sleepy grin, usually asking for breakfast in bed,
my heart melts.”

“Yeah but, you never did make me breakfast in
bed those times,” Krista said half-sullenly to hide the lead in her
chest. That was the best thing a man ever said to her. That Sean
thought she was beautiful because of
her
, as a person, not
because her boobs, ass, or other parts. That was real. And it felt
real good.

“That’s because while my heart was melting,
another part of me was… uh…hardening.”

“Pig.”

Sean shrugged, his lips curling at the
corners.

Chapter Twenty-Four

They walked into the restaurant, arm in arm.
They got the customary stares as they made their way to their
region’s table. Everyone was there, including Bob. He was eyeing
Krista with disdain, probably thinking the closeness was proof he
was right.

There were two seats left, of course, and
they were side by side. Sean held Krista’s seat out for her and
waited until she settled in before he sat down himself. They were
the last to sit. The presentation, or whatever was going to happen,
started immediately. The lights dimmed as a small stage at the
front of the restaurant was lit up. Tory was up there smiling.

“Good evening everyone. I hope you had a
great and productive weekend. Now, as you all know, we had a small
competition with our team building, as we do every year. This year
is the first since our implementation of Senior VPs over all the
regions, and so far I must say, it is going well. It is still
early, but we are already seeing results in the field from more
detailed leadership, and I have been able to back off and focus
more on the larger scope. Thank you Senior VPs for making the
program a success!”

Everyone clapped. The Senior VPs had large
grins and their egos were growing even larger. Except for Sean. He
smiled for the crowd, and clapped along with the rest, but felt the
pressure to perform. There was work to be done, and Sean didn’t
quite have a handle on it yet. Unlike the Big Cat from New York,
Sean’s ego wasn’t built on long years being in charge.

“I would also like to extend a thank you to
the managers who have helped the VPs settle in and get to work. And
of course, the support team that makes it all possible. Give the
managers and administrative support a hand!”

Everyone clapped again. Krista barely smiled.
Yay for us.
Now let’s move on
.

“This year we have a few trophies to give out
for various achievements. Let’s not think of these as winners, but
more as those who rose above the norm. These are people and regions
that proved themselves shining stars. Everyone did a great job, and
I thank you for making this year’s team building a success!”

Krista turned and looked at her table.
Georgie and Dean were facing her and met her gaze. She rolled her
eyes and took a sip of her champagne. Georgie laughed. Apparently
he thought this was a lot of hullaballoo as well.

“The first trophy is for good sportsmanship.
This person always had a positive spin to any of the weekend’s
events, from tug-of-war to dinner. He made those around him laugh
and he befriended people from every region. Our first award goes to
Marcus, from L.A.!”

Krista looked at Marcus in shock. He had his
winning smile and his easy manner well in hand as he rose and
winked at her. That guy was so good at being liked, he got awards
for it. Incredible!

He went up and got his trophy. Tory stepped
out of the way so he could say a few words.

“Wow,” he began, “this is unexpected. I’d
like to thank all the little people—“ he waved his hand and
laughed, letting everyone know it was a joke. “No, thanks to all
the career professionals that welcomed me in and showed me the
ropes. I made some great friends here this weekend. They deserve to
share the award with me! We’ll keep in touch!” Marcus bowed and
stepped off the stage, but it was obvious he wasn’t in a hurry to
leave the lime light behind him.

“Great. Good work,” Tory said, stepping
forward with another trophy. “This next award is for courage. There
was a lot this weekend that wasn’t for the faint hearted.
Paintballing, puzzles in the air, trying to fit in—this is hard
stuff! For some people, even harder. This individual got over his
shyness and made the best of all we had to throw at him. Give it up
to Perry from Utah!”

Perry went up and stammered out a speech
about everyone being really nice and accommodating. Despite what
Tory said, Perry didn’t completely get over that shyness.

Next up was one for being inspirational. Some
guy from Texas got that. Krista didn’t know who he inspired, but
apparently he was nice to other people besides her. Then there was
one for biggest funny man. Some guy from Chicago got that one.
There were a couple more that were pretty stupid and made up, and
they went to the other regions. All regions had gotten something at
that point, which was probably Tory’s intention. Krista noticed
Sean starting to tense. The awards he was waiting for must’ve been
coming up.

“Okay, just a couple more, everyone, hang in
there. Have another glass of wine!” Tory joked. “Now for the best
leadership award. This man knows his way around the company, and
has been successfully throwing his weight around since his first
days here.” Sean slumped slightly. He knew it wasn’t him. “People
look to him for guidance in all things, big and small. This weekend
was no different. He took his people through the various obstacles
with a level head and vast experience. Ron from New York, come get
your trophy!”

Ron got up slowly, no stranger to winning. He
made his way up, smiling and shaking hands. He took the trophy then
took the mic. “Now, I couldn’t be a great leader, without a great
crew. Give it up for my hard working team over there in New York!”
Everyone cheered. “This weekend was a small slice of daily life,
albeit a pleasurable one. I learned a couple things this weekend,
and that is to allow more room for adapting and changing. I’ve been
doing this a long time, with various titles and through various
company restructurings,” there was some spattering of laughter,
“and it’s great to still be a part of it all. Thanks!”

Krista smirked to herself. It was a shout-out
of sorts. Also, it made him sound worldly.
You’re welcome, dude.
Let’s see if you’ll follow that advice.

“Great Ron. Good advice. Next is the trophy
for the up-and-comer. Or shining star, as I think of him. I met him
a few years ago in a smallish company that was trying to win an
account with the big dogs. Us. He put together a team of people
that, under his guidance, did great things.” Sean sat very still.
Stone gathering moss type still. Obviously this was for him. “After
he proved he could make the impossible possible, I decided to give
him a chance. And this weekend, as in daily operations, he is
showing he has a great idea of how to reach goals and fulfill his
aspirations. This one is for you, Sean from L.A.!”

Sean gave Krista a look of triumph and got up
with a large smile. If he was nervous, no one could tell. He
sauntered up and shook Tory’s hand. “Thanks everyone. And thank
you, Tory, for giving me a shot. Like Ron said before me, I
couldn’t have gotten anywhere without a hard working team to
support me. Nor would I have gotten anywhere without excellence to
look up to! Tory, Ron, and all the guys, you are all an
inspiration. Thanks!”

Sean came back to the table beaming. He
didn’t win the one he wanted, but he didn’t do too bad.

“Next we come to the MVP of the weekend,”
Tory said. “This individual came to us full of fire and shook
things up all weekend. Whether it was charging forward through
opposition, gunning people down, changing the rules, or even
threatening our sensibilities, this person never said die. And we
hope we can house such fierce determination for years to come. Come
on up, Krista from L.A.!”

Krista froze. Faces were turning her way,
many as shocked as she. Some angry. Sean was smiling and clapping,
as was Tory up on the stage.

“Unexpected,” Krista said quietly as she got
up.