By Honor Bound (15 page)

“No. Not at all.”

“What is it, then?”

Oh, damn. She’d never expected their conversation to come to this. She couldn’t lie to him, though. Not when she enjoyed this new friendship they’d discovered.

“It’s not the soldier part, per se. I’ve dated a couple of guys in the Army before, but they weren’t serious relationships. It’s all the things we’ve talked about. Not just the long separations or the moving or any of that.”

Blayne’s expression tightened. “Is it just Special Forces soldiers you don’t want anything to do with?”

She could tell him she’d desired him for two years but refused to do anything about the attraction. Instead the words wouldn’t leave her mouth.

He filled in for her. “Graham doesn’t want you to get involved with soldiers like me.”

She put her hands to her suddenly warm cheeks. “Oh God. He actually said that?”

“Yep. I took it as a very nicely worded warning.”

She managed to meet his dark, warm eyes. “I’ll wring his scrawny neck.”

He laughed. “I’d like to see that. Graham loves you, but he’s got to understand if you want wild monkey sex with a soldier, that’s up to you. It isn’t his business.”

She wanted to hide, but at the same time putting this out in the open made her feel better. At least it would no longer be a secret. “He doesn’t trust easily.”

“Your father is part of the problem, right?”

Surprise hit her. She didn’t think he knew about Dad’s Army career in Vietnam. But Dad hadn’t been any type of soldier. He’d participated in missions he couldn’t explain to her or her mother.

“Graham told you?” she asked.

“What he could. What he knows about your dad’s experiences.”

“Then you can understand Graham’s reluctance. He remembers some of Dad’s problems.” She shook her head. “I think he’s afraid I’ll get involved with…”

She couldn’t say it.

Blayne nodded. “Someone who would hurt you.” He sighed and gestured emphatically. “I can understand him wanting to protect you. But I don’t see you as the type of woman who lets her father and brothers dictate your life.”

Truth became uncomfortable in a whole new way. Scary, in fact. “I’ve wondered on more than one occasion if I’ve unconsciously structured my social life around my family’s desires. I’m hoping it’s been my decision.”

“I want to hear how you plan to get that life you so desperately need. I see your brain boiling. What’s your first impulse? Don’t hold back.”

She wanted to tell him, but at the same time this game terrified her.

“Trust me,” he said softly.

Oh, man, those words sounded so good. With that overwhelming sense of excitement mixing with fear, she jumped into the deep end of the pool. “I don’t know. Maybe this next summer I’ll shop for one of those barely there bikinis.”

His eyes widened. “Now that’s a beautiful image.”

Despite the pleasure coasting through her libido at his compliment, she had a difficult time believing he really thought she warranted beautiful.

“Right.” She rolled her gaze to the ceiling, then back to his cheeky grin. “But thanks anyway.”

“I’m serious. You in one of those tiny bikinis? That would be awesome.”

 “Are you trying to embarrass me?”

Humor mixed with a smoldering heat in his gaze. “I’m telling you what I really think. You’re very pretty, Jemma.”

Intrigued and flattered, she let pleasure pool deep inside and radiate outward. She wanted to reach for him and show with her body how much she loved his compliment.

“Thank you,” she said. “Then I’d book a trip to a Mexican resort and soak up some heat.”

“You wouldn’t go alone, I hope?”

“I might.”

He frowned. “I don’t think I like that idea.”

Surprise made her frown. “Here we were talking about me being my own person and making my own decisions. I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself.”

“Of course you can.” His gaze took on a serious note; reluctance battled with determination in his eyes. “I don’t think it’s safe for an American woman to go there alone. Let’s put it this way, I’d be damned worried about you.”

While she didn’t want to cause him anxiety, the fact that he cared that much thrilled her in a secret way.

“I’d worry about the kind of men you’d meet and what they’d expect of you,” he said as the gravity turned to humor.

“You mean some handsome man would sweep me off my feet?”

“Yeah.”

The challenge in his eyes made her ask, “Why should that alarm you?”

“Like I said, it can be dangerous there.”

She smiled. “It can be dangerous anywhere, Blayne.”

“I realize that, believe me.”

“So I shouldn’t go to Mexico.”

“Not without me. I could keep you safe.”

As she searched his eyes for answers, she planted her hands on her hips. “My own personal bodyguard?”

“That’s right.”

His careful scrutiny made her feel incredibly vulnerable and yet protected. Amazement warred with common sense. She ached to reach for him, to press against his hard strength and feel the protection he offered. A man, other than her brothers and father, had never expressed this type of concern for her. It was heady and a little unbelievable.

Don’t wonder, get the straight up answer.

“So if I decide to go to Mexico, I should call you up first to make sure you’re available?”

 “You got it, Sweets.” His grin almost looked sheepish. A mischievous light entered his eyes.

“What would everyone think?”

“Why should you care? Like you said, you’re a grown woman.”

She smiled. “You never give up, do you?”

He didn’t speak for a long time. For a flicker Jemma thought she saw pain flash through his eyes. His voice was raw with unvarnished emotion. He left the stool and sat on the couch. “Actually, I have given up before.”

Silenced, she pondered if she should probe deeper into his meaning. She found her voice. “When?”

He closed his eyes and she imagined the hurt he must feel. “This last mission when I let them send me back.”

She frowned. “How exactly were you supposed to prevent them from sending you back?”

Blayne opened his eyes. “I shouldn’t have got hurt and caught the damned flu.”

She laughed and his eyes darkened.
Oh, good, Jemma. Insult him
. Eager to show her regret, she left her chair and sank down on the couch next to him. Before she could give too much thought, she smoothed her hand over his back.

Hard muscles moved under her fingers and he shivered. “I’m sorry, Blayne. How did you hurt your knee?”

He kept his gaze nailed to the coffee table. With his big, capable hands clasped together he looked like a thinking man, someone who didn’t do things on impulse or hazardous propositions. But she knew he did like risk, or he wouldn’t be in Special Forces.

“I can’t talk about the last mission.” His voice was tight and hard. “At least not the details.”

“You were going to see Graham and talk about it to him, right?”

“He’s got the security clearance.”

“Ah.” The single word said it all.

“You understand, right? It’s not that I don’t want to tell you.”

“Of course I understand.”

Some of the tension left his solid frame. “Huh. Maybe I wouldn’t tell you even if I could. You know what they say about war being hell?”

“Yes.”

“This time it was more than hell. I hurt my knee trying to get to another soldier who was down. Two bullets hit my vest and tossed me flat on my back.”

“What?” She reached out and gripped his shoulder. “Oh, my God.”

“I couldn’t breathe at first, and it made me think the bullets had penetrated my vest.”

She shivered simply thinking about the possibility that he could have died. Her mind whirled around the idea he wouldn’t be here right now.

“That’s horrible,” she said so softly it came out as a whisper of sound.

“My sternum was sore and my ribs, too. It knocked me on my ass, and somehow I managed to twist my knee at the same time. I was lucky as hell. I could have broken ribs, punctured a lung, you name it.”

She took a shaky breath and tears came to her eyes unbidden and unexpected. “Oh, Blayne.”

Warm and seeking, his gaze held hers and the harshness left his expression. He turned towards her. He captured one of her hands and held it. His tenderness was her undoing.

Oh, damn.

As he tilted her chin up, his brows pinched together. “What’s this? Do I see tears?”

She inhaled deeply. “I was thinking about what might have happened to you.”

A long silence captured them, and her hand trembled a little in his. He released her chin, but his lingering gentle touch went straight to her soul. “Might haves are nothing to worry about.”

She gave him a wobbly smile. “Oh, I get it. It’s
not
okay for me to blubber over you being in danger, but it is okay for you to escort me to Mexico as a bodyguard.”

“Something like that.” He paused, his gaze searching hers. “How
would
you have felt if something happened to me?”

Her throat tightened. “Something
did
happen, Blayne.” She swallowed hard. “If you were on a mission and didn’t come back…” No, she couldn’t finish the thought. He’d understand her feelings went far deeper than she’d recognized until now. “I don’t spend much time thinking about soldiers in harm’s way. It hurts too much. I’m so thankful Graham is here and not out there getting shot at.”

There it was in black and white. If anything happened to Blayne, she’d be devastated. It was painfully, indelibly true. Yes, she’d vowed never to love a soldier, but as he looked into her eyes right now, she understood it didn’t matter.

Pain clutched at her soul. It was too late
not
to care.

A slow, achingly tender smile touched his lips. His fingers pushed into her hair and he cupped her neck. “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Being so damned sweet and caring.”

She ached for a chance to feel masculine power and strength wrapped around her. And if she was truthful, deep inside her willing body. Her heart picked up the pace, her breath shorter as her pleasure edged into the danger zone.

Jemma couldn’t believe how much she’d learned about him in a short time. She’d seen rough, tough, and ready-for-battle as the biggest part of him, but now she realized he owned a profound reverence for life and living to the fullest.

She couldn’t think of a thing to say. Danger crackled in the air, but not the kind on a battlefield. No, this felt steamier, hotter, and imbibed with sexual energy.

Was he closer? She felt it. Needed it. The embrace, the kiss, everything.

Blayne released her and the tension snapped. Jemma bolted, standing up and walking around the coffee table. She took up position at the breakfast bar as he had earlier.

Nothing like experiencing a narrow escape. For a few seconds everything inside her stilled. She’d found excitement, desire, and need in his touch. Yes, she could have inched forward and risked kissing him.

He yawned.

Off-balance and disconcerted, she asked, “Why don’t you take a nap?”

He stood and sauntered toward her. “You’re not going to run out on me while I’m sleeping are you?”

“Would I do that?”

When he stopped near her, he placed one hand on the breakfast bar. Damn his hide. He smelled so good and he probably knew invading her space drove her crazy.

“You might. But I won’t sleep if I think you’re going to sneak out into this snow.” He edged closer, his voice soft but deep and caressing. “Stay here.”

“That’s emotional blackmail again, Forbes.”

“Yep. I’m feeling pretty damned emotional right about now.”

Startled, she arched one brow. “Oh?”

“I’ve never met a woman like you before. You’re about the sweetest, warmest…” He swept the back of his index finger over her jaw line. “Damn. And so soft.”

His gaze traveled to her lips again, a lingering caress of hot attention begging for release. Energy tingled between them. His finger trailed down her neck, sending shivering excitement darting into her breasts and groin. He paused, fingers measuring the pulse there.

Blayne must have felt her chaotic heartbeat. His brow wrinkled a little. “You look frightened. You know I’d never hurt you, right?”

“I feel safe with you.”

“Good. You had me worried there.”

He removed his physical touch, but the force of his personality made her feel as if he encircled her body, sheltering, warming, driving her into a sexual craving she hadn’t experienced before.

“Every time I look at you,” he said, “I can think of only one thing. I didn’t want to feel this way, but here it is staring me in the face.”

She was afraid to guess, though the devouring expression burning in his eyes told the truth. He looked like a man who wanted a woman. Badly.

But just any woman?
That wouldn’t do. She might want him, even without love. But he had to want her specifically. “I’m not in the market for a seduction, Blayne. I can’t.”

He didn’t appear angry or surprised, his expression revealing nothing but the enduring sensual yearning she’d seen moments ago in his sin-rich eyes. “You can’t or you won’t?”

“Both.”

Before she could take a breath, he slipped his hand into the hair at the back of neck and moved in slow and steady. “Then maybe you’ll give me something to remember you by.”

Chapter Three

Jemma could have pulled back, could have said no. But despite her assertions, she couldn’t wait to finally taste him.

Blayne’s mouth captured hers, a blending stroke of mouth against mouth, breath into breath. Exquisite yearning parted her lips to his subtle coaxing. Her thoughts went inward, the ecstasy of his touch bursting into life. The energy crackled and flowed around them. She could feel it in the hot, demanding power she sensed right under his surface. Potent and male, he held her like a precious item, something he cherished above all things.

From the first day she’d seen him, Jemma had wanted this, though she spent far too much time pretending she didn’t. Now she knew he cared, he liked her, he wanted
her
, and she could enjoy each beautiful sensation.