By Love Enslaved (41 page)

Fearing that the opportunity not only to win his freedom but also return home was slipping from his grasp, Brendan pointed out what he thought ought to be obvious to Jarald. “You said yourself the voyage will be dangerous. To take Dana along will needlessly endanger her life as well as your own when you’re forced to protect her from Trom. He’s not merely an arrogant bully who makes empty boasts of his prowess. He’s incredibly strong, and so mean he thinks nothing of killing men for sport, and when he captures a woman, her fate is even worse.”

Jarald waited for Freya or one of her family to remind Brendan it was not a slave’s place to offer advice, but when none did, he dared not insult them by handling the matter himself. “You know Trom?” he asked instead, for if the thrall actually possessed valuable information, he wanted him to share it.

“I know him,” Brendan assured the burly Dane. “Your god Loki can’t compare to him for sheer evil. Doesn’t the fact he’s captured Haakon and Svien tell you how formidable an adversary he is? You can’t introduce him to Dana in hopes he’ll be so distracted you can outwit him!”

Freya was terrified by Brendan’s description of Trom and hugged Thora tightly, but Dana was too hurt and angry to believe him. In her view the crafty Celt was merely trying to present a compelling reason to be included among the crew. Because she had promised him she would see he got his freedom and returned home, she was disappointed to find he apparently did not trust her to arrange it. Of course, she reminded herself, he trusts no one but himself.

“Your knowledge not only of Trom’s tactics, but of Erin will prove invaluable, Brendan. I’ll insist that Jørn allow you to come with us. The voyage will provide an excellent opportunity for you to earn your freedom.”

Not impressed by Dana’s offer, Brendan rejected it immediately. “I must be set free first.”

“You must?” Jarald asked, amazed a lowly thrall would make such a demand.

“Yes, I must,” Brendan repeated proudly. “I can promise you right now that no matter what terms Trom has set for the ransom, he’ll not keep his word. He’ll let Haakon, Svien, and their crews live until he has the silver, but he’ll never set them free. He’ll kill them all then, and you as well if you make the mistake of trusting him.”

When that gruesome prediction was met with stunned silence, he continued in the same persuasive tone. “I’ll not only lead you to Trom, but once we reach Erin I can also supply the additional men to convince him his only hope to remain alive is to release his captives. With my help, you can set Haakon, Svien, and their crews free, but I must have my own freedom first. That’s the condition for my assistance.”

It was Freya who spoke what was also on her daughter’s mind. “It appears you have a pirate’s soul yourself, Brendan, or you wouldn’t attempt to use our family’s misfortune in such a selfish fashion. Had you offered your help out of regard for us, your freedom would have been given in gratitude. Now…well, now we’ll have to wait for Jørn’s decision on the matter.”

That he had disappointed the dear woman didn’t trouble Brendan in the least, but he was thoroughly disgusted with himself that he had chosen this of all days to end his affair with Dana. If only he had kept his feelings to himself, she would have thought him a hero for offering to rescue her father. Now each time she glanced his way, her eyes were so full of pain he doubted she would ever forgive him. To make matters worse, she had begun to smile at Jarald, and he could not abide that.

Taking advantage of a momentary lull in the conversation, Soren joined in. “I want to go too, and I know how to sail, even if Erik doesn’t.”

“We’ll make that decision later,” Freya responded firmly. “First Jarald will have to return home to gather his crew and prepare his ship for the voyage. There will be plenty of time for us to decide who will go and who will remain here.”

When Soren opened his mouth to argue, Dana quickly pinched his arm and fixed him with so compelling a stare he fell silent. “You’ll need to be on your way then, Jarald,” she suggested when she was certain Soren would hold his tongue. “Brendan, see that Jarald’s stallion is saddled so that his departure isn’t delayed.”

Dana did not look at him as she spoke, a fact that rankled Brendan as much as the order to see to Jarald’s horse. “As you wish, mistress,” he replied with a slight bow, as eager to leave her as she was to see him go.

That Jarald had generously offered to make the voyage to rescue her father and brother had impressed Dana very deeply. He was handsome in his own way, and even if his voice was often too loud and his manners lacked polish, he could be depended upon in an emergency, and wasn’t that a far more important trait? she asked herself as he prepared to leave. On the other hand, had Brendan not had something to gain, she doubted he would have showed any interest in the desperate situation that faced her family.

She looked back on the times they had made love with a terrible sense of loss and shame, for it was all too plain now that Brendan had only been using her. He had sought to bind her to him with affection that was only a clever pretense. He had never said that he loved her, but that had been the way he had made her feel. His rejection had not simply hurt her pride, it had shattered her belief in her ability to make sound judgments about people. She had trusted her heart and fallen in love with a handsome thrall who thought of nothing but winning his freedom and going home. That she had merely been a means to that end hurt so badly she did not think she would ever recover from the pain.

As he left his bedchamber after packing his belongings, Jarald found Dana waiting for him just outside the door. She looked so miserably unhappy, he quickly took her hand and drew her back into the room he had occupied.

“The Celt is only trying to make Trom sound fierce in order to make himself appear brave,” he began as he enfolded her in a sympathetic hug that for once did not leave Dana feeling crushed. “Trom is no worse than any enemy I’ve faced, I’m sure of it. I’ll not let Haakon and Svien die. You must trust me to bring them home safely, for your mother’s sake as well as your own.”

Cheered by his confidence, Dana managed a faint smile. “Yes, I do trust you to rescue them. It’s just that I’m so worried. Once the voyage begins, I know I’ll feel better.”

“Do you really want to come with me?”

Dana understood his question was a personal one, and while she did not want to encourage him when she was too numb to feel anything, she did not want to be unkind either. “Yes, I want to go,” she assured him. When he tilted his head, clearly meaning to kiss her, she did not try and avoid him. His lips gently caressed hers with an adoring touch that only deepened her sorrow because she knew his affection was real while hers was not. Brendan’s kisses had always sent a wave of desire coursing through her. Jarald’s only made her feel lonely and sad.

Thinking there would be an opportunity on their upcoming voyage to win more enthusiastic kisses from her, Jarald was not disappointed by Dana’s lack of response. He knew she could not be rushed, but he was confident he was making steady, if maddeningly slow, progress toward winning her as his wife. Taking her hand, he escorted her from the house before her stay in his bedchamber could cause comment.

Dana walked with Jarald to his horse, then remained by the stable to wave as he rode away. He had promised to return in a few days’ time, and she knew he would hurry. There was so much to do while he was gone, but her first concern was for the welfare of Jørn’s crew. Before resuming her efforts to tend the ailing men, she decided to pay Dawn’s Kiss a brief visit. Like all pets, the beautiful mare gave unconditional love, and that was very appealing at the moment.

Brendan was waiting just inside the stable door, and when Dana entered he immediately reached out to grasp her hand and pulled her back into the shadows in the corner. “You didn’t trust Jarald before. Why do you suddenly trust him now?” he asked in an accusing whisper.

Dana looked around quickly, then remembered the stable boys were helping care for the sick. She and Brendan were alone, their words unlikely to be overheard, but she did not want to talk. “Jarald can be depended upon to rescue my father and brother, but that’s all I trust him to do.”

“Why don’t you trust me to save them instead?”

“Trust you?” Dana did not understand how he could ask such a ridiculous question. “I did trust you!” she exclaimed angrily. “I trusted you more than I have ever trusted anyone outside my family, and look how you repaid me.”

Brendan knew exactly what she meant, and again cursed his wounded pride that had made him think the only way to keep his self-respect was to end their affair. He could not recall ever wanting to apologize to a woman, but he gave the task his best effort now. “I was jealous. Can’t you understand that? I was jealous and so lonely that I didn’t realize what I was saying this morning.”

As his expression softened, so did his grasp, but rather than relax in his arms as he had hoped, Dana instantly wrenched free. “All you ever wanted from me was your freedom. It’s been plain all along, and I was just too stupid to see you for what you truly are.”

She turned and bolted from the stable, but Brendan followed right behind her. He reached out, trying to catch her elbow, but his fingertips only grazed the silk of her chemise. As they broke out into the sun-drenched yard, he saw Soren walking toward the stable and had to come to an abrupt halt.

Soren hurriedly came forward to block his sister’s way. “Is Brendan bothering you?”

“No, of course not,” Dana insisted, fearing the hostility of her expression would give away the shortness of her temper.

Soren looked over his sister’s shoulder at Brendan and noticed he appeared as upset as she. On several occasions he had suspected there was something happening between the two, something that ought not to be, but each time he had been close to drawing that conclusion, he had gotten the impression he was mistaken. Now he wondered if the angry glances he had so frequently seen passing between Dana and the thrall didn’t mask emotions of a far more dangerous sort.

“Your sister is angry with me because I told her she should stay home with her mother rather than sail to Erin with us,” Brendan declared as he walked to Soren’s side. He had meant to tell Dana that too, but he had not had the opportunity. “She’s needed here, and we certainly don’t need her with us.” He clapped Soren on the shoulder, as though the boy had already received permission to make the voyage.

“I don’t care what you two are arguing about,” Soren began with an ambitious show of pride. “All I care about is going with Jarald, and you two are going to convince Mother to allow me to go or I’ll tell her things I’m sure you don’t want her to hear.”

Brendan’s first impulse was to knock the cocky youth flat on his back, but Dana grabbed his arm before he could throw the punch. “There’s nothing to tell, Brendan,” she warned with a menacing glare. “You and I despise each other, and it would scarcely upset my mother to learn that.”

The hatred glowing in the depths of her violet gaze was so convincing Brendan dropped his clenched fists to his sides. He had to admit Dana had good reason to despise him, for there actually had been a time when he had thought becoming her lover would be the swiftest way to win his freedom. That day was long past, however. He could not reveal that without admitting her reasons for hating him had once been valid, though, so he buried that secret as deeply as his love.

“I know there’s nothing to tell,” he scoffed, “but I didn’t want Freya upset with lies when she’s been so good to me.” When Dana’s eyes narrowed slightly, Brendan knew she thought him a poor liar. “Soren’s proven himself to be a good worker this summer. I think he should come with us. I don’t need to be threatened before I’ll voice that opinion.”

Dana folded her arms beneath her bosom to keep from slapping the obstinate smirk from Brendan’s face. “I believe the voyage will be every bit as dangerous as you say. If we fail, none of us will be coming back. That’s why Soren will have to stay here at home. At least one of Haakon’s sons has to survive him.”

Never having thought it possible he might be the one to receive Svien’s inheritance, Soren was taken aback when Dana calmly pointed out the consequences of a possible tragedy. “We won’t fail,” he insisted stubbornly, but he was now torn by indecision. The rescue voyage would provide the adventure of a lifetime, but choosing to remain safe at home might make him Haakon’s principal heir, with more wealth than he had ever hoped to amass on his own. It was an almost impossible choice for a boy of fourteen to make.

Seeing her brother’s confusion, Dana considered him sufficiently preoccupied to forget his threat to gossip about her and Brendan. Slipping her arm through his, she paused to make a final remark to the thrall before leading her brother away. “This is a matter for our family to decide. You’ll say no more about it.”

Brendan watched Dana walk away, the pride of her bearing unmistakable as always. She might hate him now, and with good reason, but he most assuredly did not hate her. No, her spellbinding beauty had lost none of its appeal, and he feared that even after he had won his freedom, he would remain her slave.

Berit and Erik stayed with Freya and Thora for a while, fearing Freya’s courage was merely a brave front and that she might soon dissolve into uncontrollable tears, but that was not the case. Freya had enormous faith in her husband, and even if he had suffered the indignity of being captured by pirates, she was confident that with the help Jarald would provide both Haakon and Svien would soon be coming home. At present there was a far more immediate problem.