CABERNET ZIN (Cabernet Zin Wine Country) (15 page)

Claire supported Leiko’s shaking body and said, “A real dumb ass for leaving you.”

Leiko nodded, tears dripping onto Claire’s blouse, then she said, “You be careful with Zack – or you’ll end up like me.”

“Alfanjo was wrong for doing what he did. Zack will be fine. We’re just staying friends.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him. It will be more than friends. Say for a moment that he somehow gets divorced, then what?” Leiko pulled back.

“Then … I’ll have to see how I feel about him.”

“He will have baggage. Will a divorced man be able to commit to you? Talk about rebound relationships. That’s all you’ll be. You’re his rebound for months or a year until he figures out what he really wants to do.”

Claire sat back on the bench, “You don’t need to dig at my situation.”

“And kids. What about those? Are you ready to deal with them?”

Claire looked at her shoes. She saw scuff marks and fraying threads, “I don’t know. I enjoy being around him and talking with him. That is enough for now.”

Leiko crossed her arms and banged her back against the park bench. “Damn Alfanjo. Such an
ass
.”

-:-:-:-O-:-:-:-

“Hello, this is Harold.”

“Hi. This is Lydia Steel. I know your time is short so I’ll be quick. I wanted to let you know that Zack and I have been having marital issues and he’s been getting a little unstable. I thought you should know so you can watch and be aware. I don’t want him jeopardizing his job or anything. He could be fine or something could happen with a client relationship.” She poured the contents of a wine bottle down the kitchen sink. She watched the blood-red liquid swirl in circles around and around and disappear into the disposal. It gurgled with its descent.

Harold said, “Zack has the best relationship with his clients of any in my group. That’s the only reason I let him do this part-time remote gig. He does a good job.”

“He could get erratic if he hasn’t already. I just wanted to make sure you knew so there was not undue risk for either of us.” She set the empty bottle next to the others. The delivery company had dropped the shipment while Zack was away at the supermarket with the kids. She had to sign for it but smirked at Zack’s name on the label, now blending with the sewer.

Harold said, “I’ll keep it under advice and make adjustments if warranted. If there is nothing else, I have to go.”

“No, that’s it. Thank you for your time.” Lydia hung up the phone. Then she tipped the box of empty wine bottles into the recycle dumpster, flattened the cardboard box they came in, and buried the bottles under it.

May

“Zack, are you in California?”

“Yes.”

“Can we talk? Coffee or something?”

“Yes, why?”

“I have this boss where I work that I want to get your opinion on, or maybe just talk about.”

“Do you want to meet me at Old Town Temecula and we can get a coffee at that shop with the gecko on the sign? Then we can walk around town or go to the park that’s nearby?”

“A good plan. What time?”

Zack looked at his watch out of habit more than to figure out a time. “How about in an hour? I need to change out of my overalls.” Zack thought he might need to rethink his living arrangements. He looked at the hotel dresser piled with his clothes and things. He had watched the exterminators running through all the rooms when he pulled up to check in; including the room the front desk had given him for the week. He had a waxed cardboard clamshell holding a wet burrito and rice next to the television for dinner along with plastic utensils and a hot sauce tub balanced on top. He could stow that in the small refrigerator for tomorrow’s lunch. A shower would get the fine red vineyard clay out of his skin.

“That’s good. I have enough time to get there. First one at the coffee shop calls the other.”

Claire expected nearly an hour in her with traffic so she plugged her phone ear-piece into her ear. She dialed her sister.

“Hi. You have time to talk?”

“Sure. The kids are in bed and Ian is upstairs doing the taxes. Since we burned through last month, he has to file an extension and a bunch of other forms including some penalty calculations. He’s grumpy. What’s up with you?”

“I saw that guy again.”

“Which guy? The life guard you met at the hot dog stand last fall?”

“I forgot about that guy. He asked if he could save my life from those hot dogs with a real date. No. The one from Detroit that owns part of the winery.”

“Oh, him.”

“We had coffee.”

“Did he tell you he’s leaving his wife?”

“
Fuck!
” Claire swerved her car just as a person in a ratty minivan cut across her lane.

“What happened?”

“Some idiot just cut across my lane. Good thing I have both hands on the wheel. Fine now – that kid is across the other lane –
idiot
!” Claire gripped her steering wheel. “About this guy Zack, it’s not like that. We’re keeping it like friends.”

“He thinks you’re dating. Get out of dating such a guy.”

“We aren’t dating. We’re just friends and he knows it.”

“Are you absolutely sure? You’re living the cliché about a married guy dating a hot girl.”

“They are having a rough time, his wife is mean.”

“He has kids right? He won’t leave her because of the kids.”

“I think he will.”

“You’ll just end up being the other woman and cast aside when he gets his life figured out.”

“But … I think I love him.”

“Do you? Really? You cannot be serious!”

“I am. I feel joy when I’m with him. And I trust him.”

“You trust him? Trust him with what?”

“My … my soul. I guess.”

“Your soul? Like he’s the devil or an angel kind of soul trust? Are you still sixteen?”

“No. I trust him and admire what he’s doing. He has a hard situation.” Claire scanned the flickering brake lights indicating something jamming the freeway ahead, “Love. It’s love that I feel for him. More than anyone I’ve dated.”

“He’ll betray you, disgust you, and make you loathe yourself for the year or two you waste on him. You are young and hot and can have your choice of men, why consider him?”

“I’ve seen his pain, his truthfulness with me. I am attracted to him.”

“Gah! In trying to convince you to bail, I’ve only made the problem more tenacious.” She changed tactics, “Does he have money? Do you want kids of your own? Do you want an instant family of older kids? Does he have a job? Are you going to have to support him?”

“While he’s only a little older than me, he’s twenty-six, he’s worked in several places, has strong skills, and seen life.”

“Do you want to join a life that’s worn and battered?”

“He’s just made a bad choice in a spouse. When I get him talking of other things he is great. He is really passionate about his winery.”

“While I love my husband, and wouldn’t trade him for another, both of us work like mad to pay off our combined debt – the size of a third car in fact. We would need to go back to school for advanced degrees to move up and increase our pay but we can’t afford to quit to do that. Meanwhile, we hope the union doesn’t wrangle too hard with management this year and put us on the curb picketing for months. Fortunately, Dad sends us a little check at the holidays to get us through the bumps. You need to think about what you’re doing now. The life choices you are in the middle of making during your twenties will cast a long, long shadow.”

“While I don’t know what his kids are like, and that seems weird for me to think about having kids around –”

“– it will be weird. They are like little aliens overtaking your life –”

“– I don’t know. I’d like to meet them sometime.”

“You need to think through all of that. Would you live here or where this guy is from?”

“He’s originally from Michigan. He says he’s happy when he is out here in California, so maybe here.”

“You’d be closer to us if you were in Michigan, but think about it. I’m just trying to give you advice –” she cupped her hand over the phone and lowered her voice, “– from the future.”

“Very funny.”

“That’s the way it is. You can pick well or marry for love and fight over the finances later.”

“What if I plan to have the career? Have my husband stay home? That seems popular now and it’s what he’s already doing.”

“Then make sure you don’t resent going to work while he stays home with the kids. Or you ask him what he did all day because the house looks like a mess, tore up a second time after the kids got home from school by the time you get there. I’ve had days going through the grocery stores that were more draining than teaching thirty ten-year-olds and I just left the laundry in a big pile.”

“I wouldn’t get resentful.”

“Are you sure? I know many moms since I teach. I see it all from the single mom up through the corporate power couple that hires nannies to raise their kids. More working women resent their stay-at-home husbands than working men resent their stay-at-home wives. The wives try to micromanage the non-working husbands as if they are somehow broken and not worthy of respect. You know how men apparently don’t see as much dirt in a house as women do, or accept a different standard? That gets at these wives. Disciplining differences for their kids. A thousand little things that add up over time. I’m not sure what in our culture does it but men know to avoid certain things with their wives if the wife is staying home. The husband will focus on and complain about the commute “all these crazy people on the road – I’m beat.” The wife will complain that she did the awful commute while she is suspicious the husband stayed home in his slippers all day watching television talk shows. Maybe because that is what they would do if the roles switched back. Big resentment and friction.”

Claire remembered, “There is economic pressure to switch these arrangements around. Over fifty percent of college grads are women fighting to get careers now and their numbers are increasing every year.”

“I thought I wanted the career too until we had kids. We are both stuck working. Is this guy broken – emotionally?”

“He’s ambitious and passionate about his projects, not just trying to watch the clock until the five pm buzzer like a lot of guys I’ve met.”

“– That’s something.”

“I see the sadness in his eyes, but he’s there emotionally. He helped me sort through some things, just talking it over.”

“Where is this leading? What if he gets a divorce and you see him seriously. What then?”

“Why?”

“I’m always fighting about money with my husband. You just graduated and you are working in a retail business? That can’t pay much yet, can it?”

“No, but I’m learning a lot. Dad always told us expenses are the opposite side of our income. You always did spend a lot.”

“What do you mean? How do you know if we spend too much?”

“Over the years I heard your conversations. I know. Remember, Dad kept telling us to keep our expenses low? Enjoy life more?”

“We enjoy having new cars, the latest computer, televisions –”

“That’s not what he meant.” Claire slowed for the cars ahead. Then the traffic stopped. “All this other stuff is just stuff – how much do you stress about it? What if you didn’t have to stress about it?”

“We argue and stress, yes. Ian stresses a little more. He’s the credit card shuffler and every month he waves his magic wand over it all and we avoid a ton of rolling credit interest. He’s a wizard at it until the holidays when Dad sends us that little check so we can make most of the debt vanish.”

“Yeah, it’s a nice check. Dad lives like a pauper because he gives Tyler and you all that money. He helps me pay for college.”

“That’s just the way Dad lives, he was never showy. He started helping with college and then he just carried it over since. We’ve been thankful. We’re still paying off Ian’s college debt and that was fifteen years ago. Ooops, I need to go, one of the kids is banging around in the kitchen for a snack and should be in bed.” Joan said, “You think about this guy, seriously.”

“I will. Bye.”

Zack drove the side streets near the coffee shop looking for parking. He found either packed restaurant lots or empty construction sites that seemed at the edge of shady and unsafe when darkness came. Likely only his imagination, but he eventually found a lot near a bank. He walked to the coffee shop. Digging for the phone in his pocket, he came around the corner. He looked up and saw Claire tapping on her phone. His heart warmed when her sparkling eyes met his. He managed, “Dueling phones!”

“Hi Zack,” she smiled.

Zack pulled open the door and followed her in. The shop was quick with their beverages and they strolled along the street.

“Have you spent much time in Old Town?”