CABERNET ZIN (Cabernet Zin Wine Country) (14 page)

“Why?”

“What if she’s not? It’s all a misunderstanding. You get back there and accuse her, and then what?”

“Can’t be any different from now. We haven’t been together in a year.”

“A year?” Claire pulled back.

“Not because of me. At the risk of embarrassment, I’m begging practically all the time. Makes sense now if she’s having a relationship with someone else, I guess. But nothing physically wrong to keep us from it.”

“Too much information.” Claire put her hands to her ears, “But you sound wounded.”

“I’ve tried anything I could think of but she’s never happy in our life and … just toxic all around. I worry about my kids. I worry about how they are going to evolve with our home environment. If I want to take the verbal abuse then things stay quiet. That’s not healthy for the kids. One of the kids spilled something horsing around and I gave them paper towels to clean it up. The drink puddle expanded and dripped over the counter. “I’m not cleaning it Daddy, because that’s your job”.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah. However, there is a point where I have enough of it and then the yelling match starts and can go for days between vicious active arguments and seething tension. It’s bad.”

“That’s why you like working at the winery.”

Zack nodded, “It’s beautiful out here. Being in the vineyard calms me more than anything else I’ve tried.”

“Was it always like this?”

“Not right away. Signpost clues in the beginning. I really like smart and strong women. I just got caught with brutal meanness.”

“I’m sorry.”

Zack looked to the vines standing like soldiers against the wire with their arms spread out, waiting for the rising dawn.

“I think you need to go back and talk with her.” Claire pulled her blanket tight about herself. “You owe your kids to get it figured out.”

Zack nodded. “No chance getting on a plane tonight. In the morning I’ll drive to the airport and see if I can trade my ticket for the standby pool or something.”

“Standby is a good plan.” Claire stood and put her hand out to Zack. He took her hand and she pulled him up, looking him in the eyes. “Whatever happens, I want to know. You still have my number?”

“Yes.”

Claire wrapped her arms around Zack and hugged him too briefly, “I’m going back with my friends. You’ll be fine tonight?”

Zack sat on the rock, “I think this is a good spot for me.”

Claire took the blanket off and gave it to him, “I’ll get another on the patio.”

“Thanks … and thanks for listening.” Zack watched Claire disappear into the winery. Her smell lingered on the edges of the blanket. His heart ached. He looked over the vineyard and the vines failed to bring him peace.

Keys rattled in the locks and woke Amanda on the couch. Lydia pushed open the door and Nicholas followed her into the kitchen. Amanda stood and pushed her hair away thinking it must be a mess but almost too early to care. She looked at the wall clock and it said five fifty-two in the morning.

Lydia glided through the kitchen like an apparition and went to her bedroom mumbling something or other that Amanda did not catch. Amanda thought coffee might help the situation. She grabbed the pot, poured out the remains of the old coffee she had made the evening before, rinsed it out, and started filling it.

“Here, let me help with that,” Nicholas said, leaning out of the shadow of the rear landing. “Where’s the ground coffee?”

Amanda kept her surprise to herself. “Up in that cabinet next to the stove,” she pointed with her nose.

Nicholas stepped into the kitchen and pulled the filter basket from the top of the coffee maker. He dumped the old contents into the trash. He looked around inside the basket in the light, shrugged that it looked clean enough, and poured black coffee in until it looked like what he made at home.

“That’s a lot of coffee.”

“Keep filling the water. It will go fast.” He shoved the filter basket into to the machine and stood there with his hands on his hips as if agitated with her delay in filling the coffee pot. He looked across the living room, down the hallway, and then back to Amanda, “Lydia has a nice place here.” His gaze fondled up and down Amanda’s body, “Her house is compact and easy to take care of.”

Amanda shrugged, watching the water fill, “Yeah, I guess. Though I don’t think Lydia really likes this house much.”

“I guessed that too. But it’s a practical place.”

Amanda moved to the coffee maker being careful with the water since she filled the pot too close to the top. She made sure she did not splash water while pouring it in the back of the coffee maker. Then she delicately seated the pot under the drip mechanism to avoid excessive clanking of the empty pot over the bumps and contours of the base. She pressed the
Make
button.

Amanda froze.

Nicholas had his hand against her thigh. His rough fingers only separated from her skin by her thin black stretch pants that really were not much more than tights. Cheap black pants that went with everything else she wore, were easy to care for, and they fit a college student budget. She felt the heat of his hand stroke up her thigh. His fingers traveled to her bottom. Touching from the crease where her bottom arced over her thigh, around it’s smooth contour, and toward the nerves that thrived close to the surface of her skin at the small of her trembling back. His arm seethed around her like a constricting python pulling her toward him. Nicholas winked at Amanda as if saying,
this is our little secret
.

Lydia stomped across the living room toward the kitchen; now changed and freshened up. The python coil released Amanda as if frightened by an approaching mongoose. Amanda spun away until her bottom pressed against the cold ceramic of the deep farmhouse sink – chilling the unwanted and almost searing burn left behind by those fingers.

“Coffee. Great thinking Amanda.” Lydia smiled, “Nick grab two of those big paper coffee cups at the top shelf. We’ll drink on the way to work.”

Amanda fled into the living room and pulled up the blanket and pillows. She wanted a shower while she listened to the coffee gurgle, some low talking, a giggle. She heard the cream and sugar bang into their drinks, and then conversation that ended beyond the back door when Lydia pulled the door closed and locked. Amanda was remained uncomfortable until she saw both cars accelerate up the road. Amanda went into the kitchen and made a big mug of green tea that she carried to the living room to sip until the kids should wake up.

Zack called the house at three that afternoon, “Hi Amanda. I’m back and planning on picking up the kids at school – so you won’t need to.”

“Perfect timing, Mr. Steel. I was just looking for my car keys to drive there.”

“You’re probably pretty tired. I talked with Lydia and told her I finished and came home early. She said you fell asleep on the couch at the house all night.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Thanks for the help.”

“Sure. Mr. Steel, I have to go now.”

“Yes, of course.”

Zack stopped brushing his teeth and spit in the sink. “Who are you seeing?”

“What do you mean?” Lydia put on a second sweatshirt to sleep in. More layers than she wore during the day in the house.

“You’re having Amanda watch the kids while you’re sleeping around.”

“Why would I do that? You’re paranoid.”

“I don’t know why. We have no sex for the last year.”

“Is that what this is about?”

“No. That is a symptom.”

“So, if I’m having more regular sex with you it means I’m not cheating on you?”

“A symptom. Are you sleeping around or not? It’s a simple question.”

“I’m not. I should ask you what’s going on in California – are you drinking wine all day and banging surfing chicks at night? Is that why you run off every month?”

“You’re not deflecting this with spiraling arguments.”
Maybe the reason I leave is to get away from this constant warfare at home?

“I do not spin arguments –”

“Yes you do. Just the other day Noah forgot his mittens at school and you screamed at him.”

“He’d forget his head if it wasn’t bolted on. I just don’t know about him sometimes.”

“Do you think making him cry, even bawl, after such a tirade encourages him to remember?”

“He remembered the next day, didn’t he?”

“You scream all the time at everyone about everything. We need a happy home here for these kids if we want them to thrive. Maybe I like to get away because of the yelling.”

“We need to sell that winery investment. You are too distracted. I have to do too much taking care of these kids when you are gone and it’s just too much. I didn’t sign up to have the extra work. Maybe I’d like to live in California but we can’t, our jobs are here. We need to dump that thing. How soon can you sell our stock?”

“– We’re not selling it.” Zack wondered why he felt so irrational about that investment. More fearful of losing it than most anything else other than his kids. It was his refuge from the tyrant – it made him happy and afforded him something else to think about away from this mess of a home life. If he could find a ready buyer, he couldn’t get back yet what money he put in. He could cut his losses and exit but that wouldn’t help, it would be another item on Lydia’s list why she was superior to him. “I got home from the airport and called Amanda, surprising her that I was back so soon –”

“And me.”

“– She happened to mention that she stayed all night until nearly six am this morning when you returned. That’s not any business meeting I’ve ever been to. And I know you don’t work with Asia so there is no time zone excuse.”

Lydia’s mouth worked up and down before she collected her thoughts, “Amanda is making it all up. She fell asleep and I didn’t wake her when I got home. She’s trying to cause problems. Her mom used to tell me how Amanda would sneak out of the house constantly to go to parties.”

“I wasn’t quizzing her. She mentioned it in passing through the regular conversation. She was getting ready to drive over to get the kids from school and I saved her the trip.”

“It’s just work meetings.”

“I don’t believe you. We have to protect our kids. That kind of event will be hard on them.”

“I said nothing is going on.”

“Not believing any of that. We’ve had those extra charges on the credit card. What’s going on there?”

“That’s all work related.”

“There better not be anything going on.”

“Or what?”

“There just better not be anything going on.” Zack took the pillow off the bed and tossed it to Lydia. “I’m taking the bed tonight.”

Lydia huffed and said, “You’re just such a picked-on wife.” She spun out of the bedroom and flopped down on the couch.

-:-:-:-O-:-:-:-

Claire sat down on the park bench next to Leiko, “I got your text message.”

Leiko nodded. Her eyes locked on a far away vision of a future that would never be. “Alfanjo and I broke up.”

“What?” Claire twisted on the bench and touched Leiko’s arm.

Leiko stayed unmoving. “Alfanjo is a selfish dick.”

“What do you mean? You two were so happy.” Claire saw the marks on Leiko’s face from an all-morning-sob. “What did Alfanjo do to you? Are you cut or bruised?”

“Only my heart. That dick –
fuck
! I can’t believe I was so stupid.” She slammed her fist against her thigh. “Alfanjo lost his job last week when his company closed. No one buys fancy fishing lures in a recession when they can’t afford rice and beans. They didn’t even have money to pay the last month of wages. Just gone.” Leiko turned her head to look at Claire. “Alfanjo needed that money to pay for our wedding.”

“Can you get a loan? Or something?”

“Can’t get a loan without a regular job. He tried getting a new job. No money for rent so he lost his apartment …” She looked away, “Then we got in a big fight. He was mean. I was mean.” she looked down to her nicely manicured fingers. She rubbed the light line that showed where the ring had hung. Empty now.

“So you just broke up with him?”

“He had too much pride to get just any kind of job.”

“It’s pretty tough right now, even for finding those any kind of jobs.”

“He asked for the ring back so he could pawn it and get cash to go to Texas. He heard the oil guys and the commercial fishing trawler guys are always looking for young unskilled workers – guaranteed a job, he said, even if it’s dangerous.”

“That’s bad work. Like he’s punishing himself for what happened.”

“He’s just selfish. We could have figured something out. He took the ring and I haven’t heard from him. We’re done. I just have to get over his dumb ass.”

Claire hugged Leiko, “I don’t know what to say.”

Leiko squeezed as hard as if holding onto a raft, “There’s nothing –
for that fuck!
– to say.”