Cadence of My Heart (6 page)

The butterfly continues to evade her as she leaps and dives and flails, her cheeks becoming rosy and pink with the heat, and Marlee starts to get motherly.

“Come and sit down before you pass out.” She taps the ground next to her. “It’s much too hot for these antics.”

On her way to the tree, Cadence peels off her tight-fitting riding jacket, revealing a sheer white camisole below. The fabric is so thin it’s almost see-through, but Marlee doesn’t let her eyes wander.

“Close your eyes,” Cadence instructs, dropping to her knees beside Marlee. “I want to give you something.”

Marlee looks suspicious, puckering her lips into a sexy pout before closing her beautifully painted lids. “Okay, Miss Cadence Ashlock, but if it’s a worm, so help me I will—”

It’s not a worm.

It’s a lip kiss.

Warm, chaste, and tender. Like last night, but now completely sober.

When it’s over, Marlee opens her gentle eyes. “What was that for?”

“Because I love you.” Cadence traces a fingertip over Marlee’s cherry red bottom lip. “And I like your lips. They’re so soft.”

Barely breathing, Marlee opens her mouth and captures Cadence’s fingertip between her teeth, biting on her gently, making her gasp. As all sense and reason promptly evacuates her brain following the sensual kiss, she closes her lips around Cadence’s finger and sucks on it, caressing it with her tongue.

While Cadence watches, mesmerized, Marlee takes her by the hand and sucks the whole finger into her mouth before pulling it out slowly, leaving a ring of red lipstick around the base.

“Wow,” is all Cadence is able to articulate.

Like a fish out of water, she seems lost, not knowing what to say or do next. Her momentary inaction is more than enough to make Marlee regret behaving so recklessly.

“I’m sorry.” She flushes with embarrassment, pulling Cadence’s hand into her lap. “I don’t know what I’m thinking lately. That was—”

“Amazing.” Beaming like a ray of sunshine, Cadence recovers from her shock and snuggles against Marlee’s chest, wriggling in between her legs.

Marlee hugs her arms around Cadence’s lithe body, holding her tight.

“I love you,” she whispers, kissing the side of her head. “More than I think I should.”

Sitting there, perfectly content with Cadence in her embrace, Marlee makes a vow to herself: no more insanity. As of this moment, she’s going to behave in a manner as befitting her position in the Ashlock household, and that’s that. No more inappropriate touching, flirting, and certainly no more kissing—of any kind. She no longer trusts herself, and dare not even offer up any goodnight kisses for fear of losing her way. It’s just not safe.

No more kisses, Marlee repeats to herself as she waits for Cadence to finish brushing her teeth. She’ll tuck her into bed, wish her goodnight, then leave. Just like that.

Her confidence is bolstered when Cadence emerges from the bathroom wearing blue fleece pajamas that have a fuzzy guinea pig pattern all over them. They’re perfectly suitable nightclothes for a sixteen-year-old, and not in the least bit sexy.

Marlee’s relieved.

She lets out Cadence’s braid, dragging long fingers through her flowing chestnut tresses, loosening it up. Her hair’s so thick and soft, like thousands of strands of silk.

“All right, into bed you get.” She shoves Cadence gently, forcing temptation away.

She half expects the young girl to bring out the usual repertoire of protests—just five more minutes, read to me, lie with me, watch television with me till I fall asleep—but strangely, Cadence complies without a fuss. Either she’s worn out from the day’s activities, or she’s eager to receive another kiss. If it’s the latter, she’s about to be sorely disappointed.

In short order, Marlee tucks her in, pats her arm fondly, and turns to leave, tendering nothing more than a faintly whispered, “Goodnight, darling.”

“Wait.” Cady holds her back, affronted. “Where’s my kiss? We always kiss goodnight.”

Nervous, and now highly conscious of the dangerously shifting dynamic of their relationship, Marlee sits down on the edge of the bed, deciding, in that moment, to treat Cadence precisely as she wishes to be treated: like an adult.

She starts by telling the truth.

“I’m afraid, darling.”

Cadence frowns so deeply her eyes almost disappear. “Of kissing me?”

Marlee nods. “Earlier, in the south field, I … I seem to be forgetting … having some difficulty with … trouble reconciling my …” She takes a deep breath and starts again, trying to wrap her explanation up in language that Cadence will be able to grasp. “I’m expected to behave a certain way, just as you are, and lately, I’ve been misbehaving dreadfully.”

“But I don’t understand.” Cadence huffs. “We’ve always kissed.”

“Yes, but not like that.”

A few seconds pass silently while Cadence digests Marlee’s concerns, the cogs in her mind spinning and whirring at double pace.

Then, “So some kissing is okay, but not other kissing?”

“Exactly.” Marlee smiles, pleased that she understands.

“Well, which is which?” Cadence puts on a practiced expression of naïve innocence, baiting the hook and tossing it in the water. “Will you show me?”

Marlee sees the hook dangling there—just as she had when Cadence touched her breast the other morning—but this time, much against her better judgment, she bites.

Bending forward, she starts by kissing the top of Cadence’s head. “This is okay.” Next, she kisses the side of her head. “So is this.” Now her forehead. “And this.” She moves to her cheek, giving her a peck just the same as their goodnight kisses always were. “Obviously this, and …” She hesitates.

The next and last one is the most dangerous.

She hovers with her lips over Cadence’s and nuzzles noses with her. “These are perfectly acceptable, but not … anything … more …”

Pull away! A hundred voices in her head are all screaming the same thing, but her body fails to respond to any of them. She so badly wants Cadence to reel her in.

Closing her eyes, she endeavors to concentrate on cutting through the babble in her brain and having one clear thought. Everything’s a jumble. Hand in your notice. Resign. Leave. Run. Kiss her. No, don’t kiss her! Run! Cry. Find a therapist. Cry some more. Just one kiss. No! No kisses! Quit. Walk away.

Silence.

Her mind is suddenly blank. There are no thoughts at all, just the unbelievably erotic sensation of Cadence’s lips pressed against hers. Had she initiated the kiss? Had she leant closer? Who moved against who? Checking to see, she feels for the pillow, finding Cadence’s head raised off it. Cadence had come to her!

It lingers much too long.

She brings her hand up to cradle the back of Cadence’s head and reciprocates the kiss, pinching Cadence’s lips between her own as she pushes the exuberant teen down into the pillow … where she finally breaks away. Afterward, she opens her eyes and finds young Cadence elated, her lips tinged with traces of red lipstick.

“That was a nice kiss.” Cadence grins. “Even better than this afternoon. And last night.”

Marlee sinks beneath several layers of shame, one piling right on top of the other, coming in waves until she feels as though she’s drowning in guilt. “You remember last night?”

Cadence nods happily. “Our first lip kiss.”

Oh, it was so much more than that, Marlee recalls. She’d confessed her attraction. Why had she done that? Those words should never have been spoken.

She feels dizzy.

This has to stop.

Oblivious to Marlee’s ongoing inner turmoil, Cadence is still grinning. “So can every kiss be like this from now on? I don’t want to go back to boring kisses.”

Marlee strokes Cadence’s cheek, her heart swelling and aching in equal measure.

“We have to be so careful, darling. We’re getting much too close.”

Cadence’s grin widens. “You didn’t say no.”

She should, but can’t.

She bids Cadence a swift goodnight, then slips through the cheater door into her own room and leans up against it, breathing heavily. She considers locking it for the first time ever, but can’t bring herself to do it. If Cadence has nightmares … fuck.

Her chest feels impossibly tight, her clothing so constricting. She unfastens the first few buttons of her blouse, giving herself more imaginary breathing room, and fans her face, trying to lower her temperature.

It’s so damn hot in here.

She crosses the room and opens the window, letting a blast of cool night air in, inhaling it like she’s oxygen deprived. Exhausted, her brain swimming with a flurry of conflicting thoughts—her love for Cadence, her guilt for loving Cadence; her love, her guilt; love, guilt—she flops down onto the bed.

Her cunt is throbbing.

“Oh, my god.” She covers her face with her hands, willing her body to calm.

It doesn’t work.

Cadence’s kisses are so thrilling, her lips so delicious.

“Damn it.”

Closing her eyes, Marlee pulls up her skirt and reaches beneath, slipping a hand inside her underwear, finding herself absolutely drenched. She starts to moan, but quickly stifles it. What would Cadence think if she could hear? Would she know what the noises meant? Would she know she was the cause? Losing control, Marlee whines, desperate to feel some kind of release. She can’t even hear herself; her voice is drowned out by the echo of her heartbeat in her ears.

She hopes she’s being quiet.

She hopes she’s being discreet.

Or does she? Fuck it. She groans loudly, touching herself to a fantasy of her sixteen-year-old charge—a girl who’s completely out of bounds.

Her kisses. Her caresses. More.

Oh, shit, so much more.

Marlee wakes up five minutes before her alarm, having slept soundly and deeply after bringing herself to an incredibly intense climax right before bed. Mmm, Cadence. Sweet, beautiful Cadence. Innocent, delicate, off-limits Cadence.

Damnit.

Cadence.

Feeling a familiar sensation of warmth behind her, she rolls over. Sure enough, Cadence is lying there next to her, sleeping comfortably.

“Darling.” Marlee rouses her by squeezing her shoulder.

Cadence stirs and stretches, rolling onto her back. “What time is it?”

“Almost nine.” Marlee slides a hand over her stomach, kissing the side of her head. “What are you doing in my bed? Did you have a bad dream?”

“No.” Cadence smiles sweetly. “I just wanted to sleep with you.”

Marlee’s chest aches again. She wonders if Cadence has any idea what powerful, adult feelings she’s provoking. How could she? She’s only sixteen!

As much as she’d like to stay exactly where she is, Marlee drags herself away and gets out of bed. “You’re really getting too old for this, Cadence.”

Some of Cadence’s happiness fades. Marlee only ever uses her full name when she’s serious about something. Propping herself up on her elbows, she watches Marlee cross to the bathroom and start brushing her honey-colored hair.

She’s wearing a black silk negligee, the smooth fabric hugging her feminine body, hinting at the perfection hidden beneath. She’s the most shapely woman Cadence has ever seen, her breasts full and round, her hips curvaceous, her ass … yum.

“Why?” she asks at last. “Why am I too old to sleep in your bed?”

“You’re maturing.” Marlee pads barefoot back to the bed and pushes Cadence upright, sitting behind her to brush her long, dark locks. “You’re a young woman, not a little girl.”

“Isn’t that better?”

Better? Marlee’s brushing falters for an almost imperceptible half-second. In what way could that be better? She’s not going to ask. Instead, she changes the subject.

“Are you excited for the vacation you picked? We leave the day after tomorrow.”

“It’s going to be the best vacation ever!” Cadence smirks to herself. “No talk of stupid piano lessons and debutante parties.”

“I couldn’t agree more, but why ever did you choose Lymington? It’s so obscure, and it’s so close to … well, it’s just so close really. We’re barely leaving the bloody county, never mind the country.”

Cadence shrugs. “I opened a map and poked my finger at it.”

Marlee isn’t surprised. That really does sound like something Cadence would do. Interrupted by a knock at the door, she leaves Cadence to brush out the rest of her hair and answers the door to find one of the junior maids standing there with an envelope in her hands.

“Letter for you, Miss Meeks.” She hands it over, curtseys, and scurries off.

Marlee doesn’t even have a chance to say thank you before the young girl disappears into a servants’ stairwell. She’s not meant to be in this wing of the house. What she just did probably felt like breaking the law, and reeks of a cruel trick played on her by the more senior domestics who take great pleasure in causing the humiliation of the junior staff members by getting them into trouble.

Anyway, more curious about the letter—which is addressed simply to Marlee and clearly came from within the house—than she is about downstairs games, she slices the handwritten envelope open with her thumbnail and pulls out a watermarked piece of notepaper.

It’s from the Ashlocks, who are writing to inform her that they’ve been called away to London on urgent business and won’t be joining her and Cadence in Lymington. The whole thing is brief, impersonal, and just another example of the ugly way they treat their daughter. But what else can you expect from two people who only had a child as a means to acquire more wealth? Love never had anything to do with it.

“What is it?” Cadence asks from the bed.

“Your mother and father have gone to London.” Marlee tears the worthless note in half and drops it into a wastebasket. “They won’t be coming with us to Lymington.”

“Really?” Cadence’s lips curve upward. “So it’s going to be just the two of us?”

“Yes, my darling.”

Cadence leaps up and flings her arms around Marlee. “I can’t wait! I’m going to start packing!” She runs into her bedroom. “And I’m bringing the dress!”

Marlee cracks a smile, feeling grateful for never having to worry about Cadence getting upset over being abandoned by her parents. By her own admission, she stopped caring when she was five years old and they sent a similar letter saying they wouldn’t be attending her birthday party. Heartless bastards.

Forcing all thoughts of the rotten Ashlocks out of her mind, Marlee gets dressed and steals the opportunity to catch up on some laundry while Cadence is busy deciding how many different pairs of jeans she ought to pack. That should take a while.

The laundry room is located in the servants’ quarters, next to the kitchen and scullery. Updated and fitted with modern washing and drying machines—three of each, to cope with heavy laundry days—the only thing left of any historical significance here is the original tiled floor, which Marlee is always nervous to walk on, afraid that her stiletto heels will chip a tile, or get wedged in between them.

She’s always insisted upon doing Cadence’s laundry. It’s one of those chores that, in her view, happens to fit naturally under the umbrella of caring for Cadence, even though there’s a whole fleet of housemaids who would be more than willing to do it at her request.

It just seems so personal, and she doesn’t feel right allowing the other domestics to handle Cadence’s intimates. She feels like she’s preserving Cadence’s privacy and dignity—and now their secrets, too. In the laundry basket, she finds the black lacy knickers. If anyone else saw these … geez. It doesn’t bear thinking about.

Getting ready to toss them into one of the washing machines, she notices some white staining on the gusset. Shit. Was Cadence aroused the other night? Was she horny? Did she come? Curious, Marlee brings the knickers to her face, smelling Cadence’s scent.

Damn.

“Did you just smell my dirty undies?”

Cadence’s voice makes Marlee jump.

“No!” Shocked and embarrassed, she bundles them into the machine, banishing them from sight. “I certainly did not.”

“Yes, you did! I saw you.” Cadence hops up onto a dryer, grinning. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. Do you like the way I smell?”

“Darling, don’t ask me that.” Marlee finishes loading the machine.

“Why not?”

“It’s inappropriate.”

“More inappropriate than you smelling my intimates?”

Marlee can’t argue with that. She sets the machine to spin, doing anything she can to avoid having to make eye contact.

“You have the aroma of a woman.” She tries to explicate her behavior. “It surprised me, that’s all. You’re definitely not a child anymore.”

“So you liked it?”

“Yes,” Marlee admits tentatively. “You smell nice.” She looks up at Cadence finally. “Now please keep your voice down, and let’s change the subject.”

“Fine.” Cadence is still grinning. “Can we go shopping again? I think I’d like to buy more knickers.”