Cadence (Ruby Riot Book 1) (14 page)

“Are you always like this?” he asks.

“Maybe.” I tense waiting for his next move. When Jax releases my hands, we struggle again until I roll onto him. The sheets tangle around us, and Jax steadies himself as we reach the edge of the bed.

We stare at each other, locked in stalemate, and he laughs. “Should’ve expected you to be a tease.”

“Then you won’t be disappointed.” I lean over him to take my t-shirt from the side of the bed and he grabs my arms.

“Fine, but don’t go yet. If this is all I’m getting tonight, I’m making the most.”

I dig my nails beneath Jax’s fingers and loosen his grip on my arm. “Bad luck, Jax. This is all you’re getting from me tonight.”

I laugh at his pout as I pull my t-shirt back on and as I attempt to move, he grips my legs. “Stay. I don’t want to stop.”

Neither do I. I push my tangled hair from my face, pulling back my self-control as I button up my jeans. Jax looks up at me from the bed, flushed face and dark-eyed lust. Waiting. Tempting. Jesus, this man does things to my common sense. Swallowing, I close my eyes and steady my breathing.

Jax could use me. My brother would knock him unconscious if he did, but that doesn’t mean Jax won’t tempt me into his bed and throw me aside in the morning like he does with other girls.

“I think I’d better go, Jax.”

Five minutes later, I flop onto my own bed and listen to the thrum of my heart in my ears. The arousal won’t leave my system as long my lips sting from his kiss and body remembers his touch. The restraint he showed impressed me, but I’ll discover tomorrow if my refusal to get naked means he’ll move onto his next conquest.

Jax doesn’t realise how lucky he almost was.

Chapter Eighteen

PARIS, FRANCE

JAX

“Jaxon Lewis! You’re a very naughty boy!”

Nate’s voice echoes down the hallway from behind, distracting me from the vision of Tegan’s cute ass gloved by her tight jeans as she heads away. Ten minutes ago, buzzing from our performance, I’d headed offstage and found Tegan in the hallway. She didn’t protest when I dragged her out of sight and kissed her; I was fairly sure everybody else would be occupied and nowhere near the quiet corner between the stage and the Green Room.

Wrong.

Now both Nate and Will know. Keeping this quiet isn’t happening much longer.

I spin around and Nate strides over and pokes me in the chest.

“What?” I ask.

He raises a pierced brow and inclines his head to the direction Tegan walked in. “What have you been doing to the delicious Tegan?”

“Why?”

“The correct answer there is ‘nothing’! Whoa, Jax, are you screwing her?”

“No! There’s nothing going on!”

“Mm-hmm.” He fights a smile. “Might be wise not to stick your tongue down her throat in public then.”

“I was not!”

“Whatever, saw you kissing her.” Nate shakes his head. “Good luck, man!”  

“We don’t want this public knowledge,” I say in a low voice.

Nate makes a loud ‘pfft’ sound. “Again, good luck, man. Told you, she’s trouble.”

“I guess that’s for me to find out,” I retort.

Nate sucks his lip piercing into his mouth. “This mean you’re not coming out again tonight?”

“Not sure yet.”

“Because you’re up to no good with Tegan?”

“Well, wouldn’t you? If there was a chance?”

“I like my balls where they are, thanks. She’s hot, yeah, but not worth the grief that comes from screwing her. What’s so special about this chick?”

I shrug. If I tell Nate that for the first time in months I crave to be around a girl and spend time with her, rather than challenging myself to get laid at every chance, he’d laugh at me. As far as I know, neither Will nor Nate has had long-term relationships in the whole time I’ve known them; they won’t understand if I admit I want more than to fuck her.

“She’s a challenge,” I say eventually and I’m not bloody wrong there. The girl’s a fucking tease and she’s driving me mad. I could do so many things to make her scream.

“Mmm. Well, hope she’s worth it.” He pulls out his phone. “I’m heading back to the hotel. You coming?”

“Nah. Going to the Green Room until Phoenix are done.”

“Smart guy. Make sure you’re not seen with her.” He taps his nose. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“Whatever, man.”

“Call me if you change your mind about tonight.”

“Yeah, we might come out too. Thinking about persuading Riley to come along as a decoy.”

“Oh, fuck, no! Seriously? I didn’t think you liked her?” protests Nate.

“I don’t, but we can pretend her and Tegan are out together.”

Nate claps me on the back. “You know what? I’ll bet you twenty quid that everybody knows about you and Tegan by the end of the week. And then…” He makes a slicing movement across his throat.

“Hilarious.”

“Man up,” says Nate and saunters off. “Screw her and ditch her, or tell the world. One way or another, you’ll end up fucked.”

I stare after Nate’s retreating figure and consider his words.

Yeah, I’m fucked.

****

I follow my plan of action: have some beers in the Green Room post-gig, and invite Blue Phoenix to come out with the boys and me. They’ll say no; I can almost guarantee that. Jem and Dylan appear first as I’m finishing my second beer. Ruby walks in behind Jem and settles onto the leather sofa in one corner of the room. I drain my bottle and head over to the counter laid out with drinks and food. One more and I’ll tell them I’m heading out with the twins. I munch on some crisps and watch Jem chatting to Dylan, bristling at his ignoring me again.

“Beer?” I ask Ruby.

“I’m good, thanks,” she replies.

“You swearing off alcohol again?”

“Yeah.”

Makes sense, her Prince Charming is a recovering alcoholic and ex-addict. Even so, we’re third date on tour with the legendary Blue Phoenix, and the guys are that tame I swear they go back to their rooms for hot cocoa and bed after gigs. Liam has Cerys visiting for a few days so he’s out, and Dylan’s waiting for Sky to arrive. Bryn’s the only one who’s drinking seriously which is awkward because he’s not a good candidate for a drinking buddy. Naive of me to expect Blue Phoenix to behave like rock stars with women taking over their lives.

“So much for the famous Blue Phoenix party animals,” I complain and take a beer from the counter.

“I think they’re too old for that shit now,” Ruby replies.

“Twenty-six? Fuck, I hope I’m not old and boring then.”

Jem breaks the conversation he’s having with Dylan, and sits next to Ruby, draping an arm across her shoulder. “Who’s too old?”

“You guys. Behaving like old men,” I reply. “Yeah, I know you don’t drink, but we could at least party a bit more!”

“Kinda burnt out, Jax,” says Jem. “You’re welcome to have your own parties, but make sure you don’t get into a life where a doctor tells you to stop or you’ll be dead before you’re thirty.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I reply with a laugh.

Jem turns to Ruby. “Did you tell -”

The look Ruby gives Jem is one I’ve seen before: ‘shut up and don’t say anything’. “He means you’re behaving like a dad,” she hisses.

“What did you say?” I ask Jem. Tell me what?

“Nothing.”

I barely notice Bryn’s entrance into the room, Jem’s words and Ruby’s responses have poked at a suspicion I’ve denied could be possible.

“How’re you feeling now, Ruby?” Bryn asks. “Still sick?”

“Getting better,” she mumbles.

“Better in the evenings, huh?” He sits in the armchair next to Jem and leans forward to poke him, grinning. “Something you want to tell us?”

“No,” Jem retorts.

Bryn is teasing, but I swallow down the realisation growing as I watch for Ruby’s reaction. Paling, she stands, hands trembling. “I’m tired, Jem. Let’s go.”

Bryn sinks back and watches as Jem stands too. “I always know when you’re hiding a secret, Jeremy.”

“Shut up,” he warns.

No
.

A thousand fucking times
no
.

I’ve seen enough shitty TV soaps to guess Ruby’s symptoms could be more than gastro, but she wouldn’t be that fucking stupid. “Ruby. Please don’t tell me you’re -”

“I’m not feeling well, okay! Just fucking leave it!” she snaps, not looking at me as she drops back onto the sofa. The ever-protective Jem immediately joins her.

“You are! You’re fucking pregnant!” The world lurches when her denial doesn’t come, as my mind drags in all the reasons why this is a disaster. “For fuck’s sake!”

Unsure I’ll be able to keep my self- control, and not wanting Ruby to say the words, I grab another beer and leave. Outside the room I pause, my world shattering around me.

The band is screwed now.

We reach the edge of success and Ruby’s fucking ruined this. Jem’s ruined
her
. Ruby’s as trapped as she was when Dickhead Dan had her in his grasp.

Stupid, fucking…
I shake my head against the anger and walk blindly away.

****

TEGAN

The post-concert sales were crazy tonight; we sold out of all t-shirt sizes apart from XXL, which left some very pissed off customers. I smiled sweetly and repeated the same excuse, handing people the flyer listing the online merchandise store. I swear one girl considered ripping off my Blue Phoenix t-shirt rather than go home without one.

By the end of that disaster, I have a huge headache and I’m running late. Finally finding a minute to myself, I check my phone for a message from Jax.

Nothing.

I text him, ask where he wants to meet, and return to boxing up the remaining stock ready for the next venue. Half an hour later, done, I check my phone again.

Still nothing.

Jax agreed we’d meet up tonight and we’ve discussed becoming more ‘public’ on a night out with the twins and assorted tour people. That way we can be together, but not obviously. All good as long as we aren’t seen too close. Isn’t this what he wanted?

When nobody is around the Green Room, I’m pissed off – more at myself than Jax – at expecting him to behave like a normal person. Searching for any sign of him, Will or Nate I bump into one of the sound guys.

“Hey, do you know where everybody’s gone?” I ask him.

“Ruby Riot guys have gone ahead to
Menthe
; a few of us are grabbing a taxi to join them. You want to tag along?” The tall guy points over his shoulder to a group of guys talking loudly nearby.

Tag along, like a lost sheep? I don’t think so. “No, all good. I’ll catch up with my brother.”

Before he can respond, I storm away. Now I’m angry with Jax. I bet the boys headed out and took a few girls with them and I was surplus to requirements. Less than a week and he’s bored of me already because I won’t open my legs? Bastard.

Chapter Nineteen

TEGAN

In two minds whether to show up at the club on my own, and let Jax know I don’t give a fuck, I decide in-room movies and room service are the best choice. I’m in Paris and I’ve never visited the city before. I have plenty planned for tomorrow; a night of drunken drama with Jax isn’t worth the waste of energy. Still, I leave my phone switched on next to the bed and snuggle under the luxurious duvet, dressed in my cotton pyjama shorts and vest, hair piled onto my head.

Living the rock star life. Ha ha.

I tuck into the bowl of chips ordered from room service and watch
The Hunger Games
; I missed this movie while I was travelling, heard it was good. Beats crappy chick flicks anyway.

My phone beeps, startling me. I rub my eyes and I glance at the TV. Great, I’ve missed half of the movie by dozing off.

I lick salt from my fingers and reach for my phone. A message from Jax.

Cheeky bloody…
He needs to look elsewhere for his drunken hook-ups. I ignore him and five minutes later the phone rings with Jax’s name on the screen.

“What?” I snap.

“Did you get my message?”

“The subtle message that you didn’t want to see me when you didn’t contact me earlier?” I retort.

“I did want to see you. I forgot.” Difficult to tell for sure, but I’d lay bets he’s drunk. “I remembered now.”

“It’s 2 a.m., Jax! You’re three hours late!”

“I didn’t notice the time. Something happened.”

“Yeah, like you fell into a taxi with Will and Nate and went out drinking?”

“No. I’m not with them.”

“But you’re drunk.”

“Kinda. Can I see you or not?”

“I’ll speak to you later, Jax.” I hang up. He stands me up, gets drunk, then calls me at 2 a.m. What does he expect?

Heart beating faster with anger at his behaviour, I attempt to remember which scene I last saw in the movie and rewind. As I settle back down to watch, the conversation with Jax niggles. Why do this? We said no games. Well, I’m out. No more.

Barely ten minutes later, somebody knocks on my door. I head over and squint through the peephole. Jax.
For fuck’s sake…
Do I ignore him?

He knocks again and calls my name. Loudly. I yank the door open and pull my best disdainful face as I look back into the drunk eyes and flushed face of a lost-looking Jax.

“I said no, Jax. Be quiet and go!” In case he attempts to throw his drunken self at me, I cross my arms tightly over my chest. He runs a drunk look along the length of my body and I ready myself for the inevitable comment. “Did the other girls say no? ‘Cause you won’t find a yes from me.”

“What? What girls?” He glances around.

“Goodnight, Jax.” I step back and prepare to shut the door.

“I need to talk to somebody.”

“Talk. Right.” I look around the edge of the door at him. He doesn’t move any closer or attempt to touch me.

“I do! Things have gone to shit, Tegan!”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Please. I need to talk to someone.” His shoulders are slumped as if the world has crashed onto them and, annoyingly, concern creeps in.

“What’s going on?” I ask, more gently

“Ruby Riot. We’re screwed!” He throws his hands in the air, voice rising. “I should make the most of all this because it’s over!”

“Shush! What the hell happened? Did you have a fight with Ruby? Or the boys?”

He mutters something under his breath and wipes a hand down his face. “Can I come in?”

“How drunk are you?”

“A bit.” He huffs. “I don’t know who else to talk to about this shit, Tegan.”

In a move I could live to regret, I open the door far enough for Jax to walk in. He passes, stinking of whisky and I wrinkle my nose. Unsteadily, Jax heads for the large blue sofa in one corner of the suite and flops down. For a few moments, he stares at the ceiling. Is he going to sleep?

“I’m listening. What happened?” I ask.

“Got any beer?”

“No.” I approach and sit next to him on the sofa. “I’m sure you’re just drunk and can sort this out. Tell me the story if you want my opinion.”

Jax gazes at me, his ice blue eyes focusing on my mouth, and he reaches out to touch my lips. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

I take his hand and move it away. “So eloquently put, Jaxon.”

“Sorry I forgot to call earlier.” He curls his hand around mine and I pull it away. “When she told me, I lost the plot and she tried to talk to me and I went to the hotel bar then I drank too much then I remembered and called you and –” He pauses his burbling and stands abruptly. “Fuck!”

“Jax, calm down. She? Ruby? What did she say?”

Jax slumps next to me again. “Ruby’s pregnant.”

Wow, not what I expected.

“And she wants to give up everything for a baby? That’s crazy!”

“Yeah, she says until it’s born and she’ll be back, but I bet she won’t!”

“Why wouldn’t she come back to the band?”

Jax looks at me as if I’m stupid. “Um, because… baby?”

“Yeah?”

“She can’t have a baby and be in Ruby Riot!” he says with a small laugh.

I straighten. “Are you and the twins are kicking her out? What does Jem say? The band would be ruined if you did that!”

“No! I haven’t spoken to Will and Nate yet. Not sure they know. What I mean is, she can’t do both.”

“Seriously, Jax?”

“What?”

“That’s a bit sexist. In fact, a lot sexist! Tell me you’re joking.”

His brows tug together, what I’m saying isn’t what he expected either. “We’re at the very edge of success! We can’t stop now.”

“Is she cancelling the tour?”

“No, but -”

“So what’s the problem?”

“She’s having a kid!”

“When?”

“I don’t fucking know!”

“Do you want me to talk to you or not?” I stand. “Leave if you’re going to swear at me!”

“Sorry,” he says quietly. “I don’t know. Summer maybe.”

What do I say to him? I hardly know any of them, but Ruby’s famous for her tenacity and ambition, she wouldn’t give up her music career.

“The kid will have a dad that can help out, you know? It’s not like she’ll be stuck at home minding the baby.” I pause. “It
is
Jem’s?”

Jax’s mouth hardens. “Yeah. At least it’s not Dan’s. Her ex.”

“And Jem’s fine with it?”

“I dunno. Can’t imagine he’ll stick around. This is Jem fucking Jones we’re talking about. She’s screwed!”

I inhale sharply at the vehemence in his tone. “They seem close to me.”

Jax grunts and I sit back next to him. Talking about Jem has hit another nerve I don’t want to expose. “I know this is a shock, but it doesn’t mean the end. It’s a baby, not a split!”

Another grunt.

“I’m sure once you all sit down and talk through the future plans, you’ll feel better. I know it sounds mercenary, but people are investing time and money in Ruby Riot. You’ve signed contracts. This isn’t about to end any time soon.” He stares at the floor. Am I wasting my breath? “Sleep on it, Jax. Talk to her in the morning when you’re calmer.”

Jax’s eyes glaze for a moment and he blinks at me. “Did I upset you?”

“No, I’m tired. I was going to finish my movie and crash. I want to explore some of Paris tomorrow before we move on.” I stand.

As if noticing for the first time, Jax takes in the shortness of my shorts and the fit of my top before turning a drunken smile to me. “Can I stay?”

“No!”

“I want to make it up to you, make you feel special because I fucked up tonight.” He stands too and wraps a finger around a loose tendril of my hair.

“Don’t, Jax,” I warn him as he edges closer. “I don’t want to kiss you.”

“Why?” He brushes his lips against my cheek and I jerk my head away.

“How do I know what you’ve been doing tonight? Or who with?”

“I told you! I was on my own at the bar!” He rubs his brow. “There was a girl at some point, I think, but I didn’t do anything with her. I wanted you.”

My stomach turns. He was with a girl. How do I know he’s not lying about whether he did anything? She could’ve knocked him back and now he’s trying me. Tonight has pinpointed my lack of trust and I don’t think I can be involved with Jax. He didn’t call me, and I immediately jumped to conclusions. If this relationship or whatever we are continues, it’s going to ruin my time on tour.

“I don’t want to be your second choice.”

“What? No!” He strokes my hair. “You’re not! I want you. You’re special, like… I dunno. Special.”

I half-smile at his struggle to express himself. “A challenge?”

“Is that what you think?”

I shrug. “Maybe.”

“Tegan...” Jax folds his arms around me and hugs me to his chest. I’m happy the smell of alcohol and his inebriated state have deadened my usual heart-thumping arousal from being close to him. “That’s not true,” he mumbles, breath tickling my skin.

I disentangle myself from his arms and duck my head as he moves in for a kiss. “We’ll talk tomorrow. When you’re sober.”

“Huh. Fine. Whatever.”

See. This is why I can’t continue. I’ve never been a jealous person around guys, but this is crazy. I hardly know him.

“I need to take a piss,” he says and walks off, not looking at me.

Whoa. He really doesn’t like the word no. I perch on the sofa and wait for him to return, lost in my confused thoughts. Ten minutes later and Jax hasn’t returned. Worried he may have passed out, I head towards the bedroom.

“Jax?”

The ensuite bathroom door is open, nothing’s on the floor apart from the shiny grey tiles, and he hasn’t decided to try the bath for size.

No, but he’s trying out my bed.

Jax lies on top of the bedding, fully clothed apart from his shoes which bizarrely he decided to take off. Snoring. Loudly.

“Jesus, Jax!” I shout but he doesn’t flinch.

Now what? Try to move him? An immediate image of Jax dragging me onto the bed and what could follow jumps into my head. I’m not worried he’ll force himself on me; I’m worried that a part of me would be happy for Jax to pin me to the bed. The stupid part that replays our encounter last week every night before I fall asleep.

I grab a pillow and pull the duvet out from under him. He mumbles and turns to the side. As I drag the duvet out of the bedroom for a night on the sofa, I look back and I can’t help giggling at the situation.

“I guess you managed to get into my bed, Jax Lewis.”