Caitlin And The Cowboy (Western Night Series 4) (76 page)

              It did
n’
t matter how loud she was, the thunder drowned out her cries of passion, the lightning seemed to strike with almost every time she was brought to the brink, and when she did
n’
t think she would be able to take it any longer Kyle climbed on top of her and entered her with a gentle, yet forceful passion.

              They rocked together for a while and Lilah was
n’
t sure if she ever wanted it to stop. The rain beat in the same frantic rhythm as her heart and she wondered if someone could die from love. Finally, after what seemed like several blissful years, Kyle cried out in his own form of ecstasy and collapsed on top of her.

              They lay there quietly for a long time. It took that long for the truth of the matter to finally hit Lilah, and she sat up, gripping the quilt with shaking hands, and stared down at Kyle in horror.

            
 “
What have I done
?”
she asked, her voice quavering with terrified horror. Kyle was quiet, and Lilah assumed he must be wondering the same thing. She bolted out of bed, lunging for her clothing, while Kyle lurched after her.

            
 “
Wait! Wait
!
”

              She had never put her pants on so quickly, and left a few buttons on her blouse undone as she darted out of the cabin. The rain was coming down like she had never seen, and her hair, now freed from its braid, was plastered to her forehead. She did
n’
t know where she was running, but she knew she should
n’
t stay there. The chestnut mare looked up at her with a worried look, and she charged past her, not knowing where to go, not knowing if she could actually make it anywhere, but knowing that no matter what she had to stay away from Kyle Granger.

            
 “
Lilah
!”
Kyl
e’
s voice echoed out into the rain, and she was
n’
t so foolish as to believe that he would not follow her. She could hear him slipping and cursing as he made his way after her.

             
Of course
, she thought bitterly.
He ca
n’
t lose his cargo
.

              It was
n’
t fair to either of them and she knew it, but she could
n’
t help but bitterly think that way. The darkness was starting to come in earnest, more than just the thunderstorm, it seemed as though the sun was starting to set too. Soon she would be wandering the plains of Montana in complete darkness, and would probably end up falling prey to some savage coyote before long.

Maybe that was what she deserved.

            
 “
Lilah
!”
Kyle called again, and maybe she would have had that fate if she had
n’
t slipped at that very moment, falling into a mud puddle. She cried out in pain as her ankle twisted, and had to lay there until Kyle caught up, his sun-kissed hair made darker by the rain. In a flash he was beside her, kneeling as she kneaded at her ankle, wincing in pain.

            
 “
I twisted it, I think
,”
Lilah replied at his worried look
.“
I did
n’
t feel anything break
.
”

              He hoisted her in his arms and carried her back to the cabin, walking with such care that it was almost completely dark by the time they made it back. He lay her gently on the bed before moving to one of the cabinets, taking out a small lantern and lighting it with a bit of flint and tinder.

            
 “
You gave me a scare
,”
he said as he set the lamp on the bedside table. The lamplight scattered across his face made him look even more handsome, and Lilah fought the urge to kiss him again. She had to look away.

            
 “I’
m a disgrace
,”
she replied sadly
.“
Look at me.
I’
m supposed to be marrying your boss in a few weeks, and look at me now! Throwing myself at the nearest cowboy
.
”

            
 “
In my defence,
I’
m the only cowboy
,”
he said in a brave attempt at humour. She forced a laugh that did not sound very convincing.

            
 “
You know what I mean
.
”

            
 “
I know, but Lilah...listen to me
.”
He reached for her hand, and she took it. Of course it made her feel scared to have him so close to her, what was she going to do? But looking into those blue eyes once again gave her strength. On some level it made her feel less afraid.

            
 “I’
m not going to pretend that
I’
m completely unashamed of what we did, but
I’
m also not going to pretend that I did
n’
t feel something as soon as I saw you. Lilah, since the day my wife died, I thought that I would never find another woman beautiful again, and for five years I thought I was right, and then I met you
.
”

            
 “
Oh Kyl
e
…
”
she bit her lip as she looked at him
.“
Kyle tha
t’
s the most beautiful thing I ever heard
.
”

              She pulled him in, and in spite of her guilt and terror at her recent transgressions, she kissed him again and they flew out of her mind.

            
 “
But what will we do
?”
she asked once they separated
.“
I would hate to break Harla
n’
s hear
t
…”

              It was Kyl
e’
s turn to be silent as he thought over what she had said. During his silence Lilah thought long and hard about it, about what she should do, who she should betray, and before he could say anything else, she knew what she had to do.

            
 “I’
m sorry, Kyle, but I do
n’
t want to betray Harlan...not yet
.
”

              He knew that it would end that way, of course it would. She barely knew him from Adam, Harlan had paid her way this far, and Kyle was just some cowboy who worked for him. Plus, was he even ready to love again? The loss of Ellie had almost destroyed him, now that he had this beautiful girl in front of him, he felt that familiar pang of panic at the idea that he might lose her too. He brushed a sodden piece of hair out of her face and nodded.

            
 “
I understand
.
”

              Lilah buried her face in his chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat. How could she explain to him that even that did not feel right? That the only thing that made sense to her was them being together...but how could they do such a thing?

              How could she have love,
real
love, right in front of her, but turn her back on it? She knew now that what she had felt for Michael was only a shadow of what love could be. She never remembered Michae
l’
s touch igniting a fire in her like Kyl
e’
s did. How could she give this up?

              They sat in silence for a while, listening to the rain, until Lilah raised her head to look at him once more.

            
 “
We have until tomorrow morning, at least
,”
she said with an edge of hope in her voice. He looked down at her, and once again his handsome face was unreadable to her. Would she see him on the range, ready to drive some of the cattle, and would she even then not know what he was thinking? He studied her face for a long time before bringing her in for another kiss.

              She did
n’
t think this time, and instead merely melted into his arms. Maybe the rain would never end. Maybe they would be able to stay there forever.

              These were the last thoughts in her head as she drifted off to sleep in his arms afterwards.

              Like it or not, tomorrow was coming, but she could
n’
t bring herself to think about it until then.

Chapter 3

              The morning dawned with so much yellow sunshine that Lilah thought the world looked drenched in butter. Kyle was no longer laying beside her, but she could hear him wrangling the horses and hitching the mare back to the cart.

              Lila
h’
s muscles seemed to scream against the idea of moving, and she felt as though she were turning to stone in protest at having to move, having to break the spell of this terrific love that she had stumbled into. She crept to the window and watched as he spoke softly to the horses, running his fingers through their manes, patting them softly on their flanks. She watched as though mesmerised, and prayed that Harlan Cooper would be a good man.

              After she had dawdled enough she walked out into the sun, blinking in the brightness and still trying to clear the sleep out of her eyes. Kyle looked at her and then quickly turned away, she felt the same way.

              Lilah climbed up into cart as Kyle mounted his stallion, and she took a deep breath and said out loud what they both might have been thinking.

            
 “
Will Harlan be worried that we did
n’
t arrive yesterday
?”
she asked. He shook his head.

            
 “
H
e’
ll understand because of the weather, w
e’
re about four hours out still, but I do
n’
t think that w
e’
re going to hit any problems on the way this time
.
”

              He looked a little disappointed by this, and maybe she just wanted to see that, to see a hint of regret before she threw herself into this other life. When she did
n’
t see anything, she set the mare walking, and decided not to bring it up again.

              They rode in silence for the majority of the four hours, and Lilah turned her mind to think about Harlan Cooper for what seemed like both the millionth time as well as the first. She had to think about him now, had to put all of her thoughts into him so that she could be a good wife.

              After four hours, Lilah could see in the distance: the grazing of cattle, another cowboy running through them, even the small silhouettes of tinier creatures, presumably the calves that had kept Harlan from coming out and meeting her himself. She could see the rider take notice of the two of them and wave. Lila
h’
s heart flip-flopped as she realised that this may very well be Harlan.

              Kyle reined in his horse, his body hesitating as he turned to her.

              Finally she could see what he was thinking, the regret, the sadness. It made her heart ache, and part of her wanted to reach for him, but she knew better than to do that.

            
 “
Lilah...I just wanted to say...
I’
ve neve
r
…
”
he paused and ran his hand through his hair, full of nervousness. It touched Lilah in a way she did
n’
t expect. Finally he got it together enough to continue.

            
 “
Harlan is a good man, and h
e’
s an understanding man, and I can understand and respect why you would want to try things with him...he
is
good, and kind, and I can understand you not wanting to break a good ma
n’
s heart
.
”

              Tears rose in Lila
h’
s eyes, and she brushed them away quickly in the hopes that no one would see. He
did
understand, but she did
n’
t know why that felt even more painful than if he did
n’
t.

            
 “
I do
,”
she explained
.“
I
t’
s only right
.
”