Cajun Vacation (21 page)

Someone cleared their throat next to them, and they broke apart, quickly remembering where they were. Their waiter stood by the table, entrees in hand. “Your dinners,” he said, completely ignoring their very public kiss. A few nearby guests looked on disapprovingly, but she didn’t pay any attention to them. They both sat back down while the waiter placed their orders on the table. Then he refilled both their waters and left them to enjoy their meal.

Except that food was the last thing on her mind. Her thoughts and emotions were in complete turmoil. She wanted sex with him. But then she had decided to put his needs, a man’s needs, above her own and leave him. Then he kissed her. The last time she had swooned over a man’s kiss she had ultimately been hurt, and she had vowed never to allow it to happen again. But with Peter, she didn’t mind. Her heart told her that he would never hurt her like she had been before. However, her head warned her that the kiss didn’t mean true affection from Peter, but instead meant that he had sex on his mind and the kiss was only a ploy. To what? It made no sense for Peter to become calculating in their relationship. She had already offered her body up. What more could he possibly want from her besides sex? Nothing had made any sense since she had met him, yet she continued wanting to spend time with him. In all the years since she had sworn off men as anything except being her boy toys, her heart and head had never been in such disagreement.

The rational part of her told her to get up and leave. To run from this dangerous man and never look back. Then she could forget about him and never need to worry about her heart not following the plan to never develop feelings for men. She fidgeted her chair, and glanced at the exit. If she intended to leave, she needed to do it quick and ignore any protests that Peter might call out.

Peter. She wanted to take a last look at him. Her alarms went off too late to stop and just leave. His eyes watched her. They were filled with desire, but not the intense lust she had seen at the studio. Instead they were warm, inviting. Then he smiled and her insides melted. She shifted her weight and rested back in her chair.

He gestured at her meal. “I hope you enjoy it. It’s a house specialty,” he said. “Then we dance.” The heat in his eyes rose ten-fold; then his smile turned into a grin and she knew that whatever power this man had, she was lost.

Chapter 28

Alicia laughed. Peter twirled her around the dance floor, the details of her face blurring in the motion until she lost her balance and fell back into his arms. She rested her weight against his body. He could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his shirt. A small cooing sound rose from her throat over the beat of the music.

In the two years since he’d been left alone, and the year since he had begun dating, he hadn’t taken any other woman out dancing. He’d gone out to dinners, a few riverboat cruises, park visits, and even a wine tasting. But dancing had an intimacy that those other activities could never match. Each activity had its own charm, but looking back over the year, he realized that in every case, with the women he had gone out with, he had avoided getting to close to them. His celibacy vow was an obvious way to keeping distant, but where he took his dates mattered. The things he did with other women he could do without ever really touching them. Sometimes he would hold hands, or put his arm around a waist, even kiss, but the bulk of those dates he spent physically apart.

Now he was with Alicia. Holding her so close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist, and leading her around the floor felt natural. He wanted to be near her, watch her laugh, and make her happy. He knew where Alicia stood regarding her desire for sex, yet she had stopped trying to purse it; at least for now. Most women, when they discovered that he didn’t intend to start a physical relationship with them, ditched him immediately. The women he attracted didn’t do celibacy. It created clashes with those women that he couldn’t change, unless he changed who he was and what he did.

Alicia knew the full details of his occupation and had dived into it a willing participant. Then he had opened up and she saw him in a vulnerable moment. Instead of taking advantage of the situation to get what she wanted, she had selflessly offered to end the evening early. It showed a level of compassion inside her that he didn’t think she had. In the moment that she had made her offer to leave, a bit of pain showed through her eyes. Someone had hurt her. He didn’t know anything else, but it was there inside her.

Now he wanted to chip away at her own wall, until she realized that the two of them shared something special, and it was worth it to keep going past this weekend. Did he have any chance of convincing her that their relationship was worth taking a risk on? Where would they live?

He was getting ahead of himself. They had only met this morning and he already had one of them moving to live with the other. She may have felt for his loss, but as far as he knew, she secretly still only wanted him to take her to bed.

She straightened up in his arms and placed her hands behind his neck. He dipped his head down to take her into a kiss. Her lips burned with all the passion he had seen at the studio. She definitely still wanted sex. But her touch also contained a tenderness that didn’t exist this afternoon. Her feeling had softened and become less insistent on the physical. Real emotion existed where previously he felt only lust coming from her.

He unwound his arms from her waist and they separated. She stumbled and fell back into him, and he bumped into a neighboring couple. The man gave him an annoyed look and steered his woman farther away.

Alicia rubbed her temples.

“Maybe we should get some air,” he said, noticing how flush Alicia’s face had become.

Alicia nodded and proceeded to let him guide her off the dance floor to their table. He grabbed her bad, handed it to her, and then laid additional money down for the bill with a generous tip.

He took Alicia’s hand in his, leaned in for a small kiss, and headed out the door together. Alicia’s face turned a more natural shade in the warm, fresh air.

“It can get kind of hot and crazy in there,” he said, pointing back at the restaurant. He started walking without a particular destination in mind. Then realized it was away from Alicia’s hotel and toward his own apartment. He veered off his course to walk closer to the river.

“I haven’t been dancing in years,” said Alicia squeezing his hand. Then after a long pause, she added, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. “I’m just glad I didn’t step on your feet. It’s been a while for me too.”

She took her hand from his and wrapped her arm around his waist. They turned a corner and the river came into view. A paddleboat moved across the water, its lights turning the dark waters around it bright. People walked along the decks, holding hands or simply holding each other along the railings. Flashes of light erupted periodically as everyone tried to get their favorite shots.

“I think that’s the boat I booked the tour on for tomorrow night,” said Alicia.

“It really is a wonderful cruise,” he said. “I’ve lived here for years and still take ride it every once and a while.”

Alicia pulled her arm out from around his waist and lifted her hand up to wave as the boat passed by. An enormous smile crossed her face and he strained to see if anyone was actually waving back to her, but couldn’t make out anyone in the crowd on the deck.

“Did you see someone?” he asked, as he looked back and forth from the boat.

She shook her head. “No, I just wanted to wave. They’re having so much fun on the water,” she said, and then looped her arm around his. “Almost as much fun as I’m having.”

“I’m glad I’ve been a fun date. You’ll have a good time tomorrow night, too. Your family will love the tickets you bought them.”

“If they don’t kill me first for ditching them.”

“Have you called them? I can get a cab and take you back to the hotel if you like. I did take you away from your family.”

“No,” she said firmly. “I can explain it to them tomorrow. And I don’t want to go back to the hotel.”

She bit her lower lip, and he had to suppress an urge to lean down and kiss her again. Instead, he braced himself for whatever she intended to say next.

“I’d like to go back to your place,” she said.

He held his emotions in check. It was the one thing he wanted and didn’t want her to say, all rolled into one. Every unsubtle clue she had dropped throughout the day, and all the fun they had had this evening, had now boiled down to simply wanting to head back for some final sex. Of all the women he had taken out, none of them held a tenth of attraction for him that Alicia possessed. She had in a good, real way, effortlessly worked her way under his skin. Now all that was left was for her to break his heart. How he could have fallen for her surprised him. He had been so careful and guarded over the last year. Go slow. Don’t have sex. Be careful. He never wanted to experience another loss like he had, and every protection he had thrown up was for his own benefit. But Alicia sailed past them, and she was the one woman he knew in advance that would leave him. Tomorrow. But now she wanted sex and his resolve was cracking. He needed to refuse her. Had to refuse her, even if he didn’t want to.

She reached a hand to his face and brushed some hair that had fallen over his eyes. He wanted to take her hand and suck gently on her soft fingers, but she acted first and kissed him. “I’m not ready to go back to the hotel. But we don’t have to do anything at your place, I just want to stay with you,” she said.

He saw her speak, but couldn’t believe the words.

“Please.”

Alicia, the woman who blatantly offered to model nude for him as a hook to landing him for sex, didn’t want to have sex? She only wanted to spend the night at his place without going to bed together? He must have heard her wrong.

“So no sex?” he asked.

“We can just sleep. No sex,” she said, and then she yawned.

Her eyes sparkled above dark lines as they waited for his answer. Sometimes, when an outdoors shoot had gone well, he couldn’t wait to go through his shots for the best one. But then fatigue would sweep through him to remind him of the hard work that he had done. She looked like he did on those days — excited, yet utterly exhausted, with a weariness that betrayed her intentions.

What were those intentions? From the moment she had come to his studio she had wanted sex. Had she given up completely on that desire or was it a temporary delay because she was tired. Or was it something else entirely? Something that even she didn’t understand? He didn’t know, and he’d give himself a headache if he tried to overanalyze what she really wanted. All he knew for certain was that she needed somewhere to rest and she had asked to do it with him at his home. His feeling for her had developed too quickly to understand, but he loved her. He couldn’t say no.

“It’s not far,” he said. “But we can take a cab. It’ll be faster than walking.”

She let out a sigh and leaned into him. He pulled her tight into him, letting her warmth flow into him and then back again to her. How he could ever let her go tomorrow, he didn’t know, but for now she was his, and he would take care of her.

Chapter 29

Peter fumbled around his pocket for his keys. She steped behind him after he found them so he could open the door. Then she put her hand to her forehead. No fever. If she wasn’t sick, then she couldn’t understand what had come over her. Peter got the door unlocked and swung it open.

“After you,” he said, waiting for her to go inside.

“Thank you.” He had gone out of his way to be chivalrous since she had made her promise of no sex to him. What had gotten into her? Her offer to cut short their date and go back to the hotel during dinner had already been completely out of character. Now she had gone and pledged to go back to a man’s home with the promise that they wouldn’t have sex. If she wasn’t down with a fever, then she must have gone mad. Even with all the doubts about her own sanity, she hadn’t once considered ordering the taxi to turn around and take her back to the hotel. She wanted to go back to his apartment.

She stepped past him onto a small ceramic foyer that opened into his living room. On her left a shoulder-high wall enclosed the kitchen space. A few feet farther in front of her a wider space opened on the left where a round dining room table sat. On the wall opposite the doorway , a hallway separated to the left and right, which she expected would lead to the bed and bath rooms. Off to the right a patio door opened out onto the balcony and overlooked the complex’s pool area.

She kicked off her shoes and walked into the middle of the room. Peter followed behind and she heard the click of the door’s lock. The living room didn’t have an abundance of furniture in it, but what he did have had a worn, homey look to them. Not new, but welcoming and comfortable, like they were inviting people to come and relax in them. Pictures hung along every wall, each of them eye catching, yet matched well enough with the colors of the room to not overwhelm the senses. She wondered if he hung his own photos or if preferred to display the work of others he admired.

“It’s nice,” she said.

“It’s home,” he said, taking off his own shoes and heading into the kitchen in his socks. “Sit down and relax and I’ll make some tea.”

After everything she had already drunk tonight, she wasn’t sure if her stomach could take anything more, but she stayed quiet and instead sat down on the sofa. “Did you take all the photos?” she asked.

“I keep my website and gallery to display my own work,” he said. The hum of a microwave sounded in the kitchen. “At home I like to see the work of all the photographers who inspired me. It keeps me motivated.” The microwave beeped and a moment later he came out with two steaming cups of tea. He placed one in front of her on the coffee table and took a sip from the other one as he sat down next to her. “I usually have a chamomile tea before crashing for the night. It helps me sleep. I hope you like it.”

She resisted the urge to scoot closer, but took the tea in both hands. The heat from the cup almost burned so she switched her grip to the handle. Her mind sounded alarm bells that she shouldn’t accept this drink since she didn’t watch him prepare it. She didn’t know what else he might have put into it, but she took a sip anyway and broke another one of her rules for being with men. It wasn’t the first she had broken with him, she doubted it would be the last.