Cake: A Love Story (38 page)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Casey

Jake spent the next few weeks in the studio laying tracks for his next album. He had a deadline of sorts. He wanted to have a finished album before the surgery and time was running out. I barely saw him. He worked long into the night. I mostly stayed at my apartment during this time, not only because he was so busy, but also because I had midterms.

The week after coming back from my parents, I was having lunch in the cafeteria with a few friends when a guy I knew from class named Brandon came up, out of the blue, and loudly asked, “Are you Jake McKallister’s girlfriend?”

My friends laughed like it was a silly question. Surely I would have shared something that note-worthy with them had it been true. But I was so stunned by the question that I just sat there in silence. All the sudden their laughter faded and they stared at me in astonishment. Students from the several tables closest to us turned around in interest too, having heard the question and being surprised by my lack of reply as well. Brandon stood there waiting for my response.

“Well, are you?” He demanded.

“Where did you hear that?” I asked, glancing over at my confused tablemates.

“A friend of a friend works in the admissions office. He told me that he’d heard that Jake McKallister’s girlfriend had transferred here and that she was an accounting major. He was wondering if I knew who she was. Anyway you’re the only transfer student I know…plus the only one hot enough to date a rock star,” Brandon declared.

My friends’ mouths had dropped open in response. Now it seemed the entire cafeteria was staring at me. I didn’t really know what to say. Brandon took my silence as an admission.

“Oh my God, you’re his girlfriend! I knew it!”

“Shhh!” I said in irritation.

“Wait,” my friend Dani said, “Hold on! You’re Jake McKallister’s girlfriend?” Her last word dripped with disbelief.

I looked around at all the shocked faces and replied, “Yes.”

“The same Jake McKallister who is a rockstar?”

I grinned. Was there any other? “Yes.”

There was a collective gasp from the cafeteria followed by stunned stares thrown in my direction.

“Wait. You’re dating Jake McKallister?” Julianne asked in shock, still not quite believing my admission.

I nodded.

“You’re flipping dating Jake McKallister?” Julianne’s voice was higher-pitched this time.

“Yes, Julianne, I don’t think the people in the next building heard you.”

“You’re with Jake McKallister?” She said quietly this time.

“How many times are you going to ask me that?”

“As many times as it takes to believe you.”

I shrugged.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Dani asked.

“I told you I had a boyfriend named Jake,” I answered feebly.

“Yeah but that isn’t the same thing as saying you have a boyfriend named Jake McKallister. Totally different story, sister,” Dani grinned.

“I know…I wasn’t trying to deceive anyone. I wanted to say something but it just never seemed like the right time. I’m sorry.”

Dani shook her head, amused, “Damn girl, you’ve been holding back on us!”

“What else have you not told us?” Hope asked, not seeming as amused.

“As far as big, shocking revelations? That’s it.”

“I mean that’s just…I can’t even believe it,” Julianna said, shaking her head. “He’s like my favorite artist of all time. I’ve even told you that and…and you were dating him and you never said anything.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t say anything in the beginning because I didn’t really know you guys. Then once we became friends it just seemed awkward to bring it up, like, “Oh and, by the way, I’m dating a rockstar. It seemed like I was bragging.”

“Well Jesus Christ Casey, you have reason to brag,” Dani teased. “But I get it. There really is no good way to reveal to your girlfriends that you’re dating a hot rockstar. No matter what, we are going to hate you.”

I laughed. “Oh great.”

Dani hugged me. “I’m just kidding. You’re awesome, Casey. In fact, it makes me like Jake even more knowing that he chose a girl like you. He has good taste.”

“Well I don’t know about that but thanks,” I smiled.

“How did you meet him? At a concert?” Hope asked.

“No I meet him at a wedding for my friend and his brother. We were paired together. I was a bridesmaid. He was a groomsman.”

“And you just hit it off?”

“Yep. Instantly. And we have been together ever since.”

“And you moved to LA to be closer to him?”

“Yes.”

“Do you two live together?” Dani asked.

“No. I have my own apartment. You’ve been there, remember?”

“Yeah, but I never saw a picture of Jake in there. Not once.”

“What were you expecting a signed poster or something?” I joked.

“Something like that, yeah!” Dani laughed.

“Where does Jake live?” Julianna asked.

“He has a place in Santa Monica.”

“So after you leave class you go and hang out with Jake McKallister?” Julianne asked. She still seemed to be having trouble grasping all this.

“Yep. That’s usually how a relationship works.”

Julianne giggled. “Sorry…I’m still totally shocked.”

“I can tell. You have this weird look on your face,” I laughed.

“So I mean…are we going to get to meet him?”

“Eventually, yeah. But you’re going to have to get in line. I barely get to see him anymore.”

“Really? Why?”

“Jake’s super busy right now. He just got back from tour and is recording his new album. He rarely leaves the studio, now-a-days.”

“Oh…that’s too bad,” Dani whined. “Nope sorry, I can’t conjure up any sympathy for you.”

I laughed.

“You met during the summer when he was on tour, then?”

“Yes. After the wedding he flew back to Europe. Then not long after that he invited to come for a visit and I stayed. Poor guy couldn’t get rid of me.”

My friends laughed.

“You even went on tour with him?” Julianne pouted.

“I did. It was so cool. We travelled on a tour bus in this long caravan with all the other band members and crew. It was like a big, dysfunctional rock n’ roll family,” I reminisced.

“I really, really kind of hate you right now,” Juliana said smiling. “You’re living my dream.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I can’t even believe it happened sometimes.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way but is he like…normal?” A guy with glasses and long sideburns asked from the next table over. I didn’t know him but now I hated him. I gave him a dirty look. “I mean, come on. He spent a lot of time with a serial killer.”

“Don’t be a douche, Rawlings,” the guy sitting with him said.

“I’m just saying,” the asshole shrugged and smiled like he was proud of himself.

“If by normal you mean that he knows how to conduct himself in public and treat other people with respect, then yes…he’s perfectly normal. Maybe he needs to give you some lessons.”

Everyone chortled at my burn.

The asshole shook his head, looking annoyed.

“Do you have a picture of the two of you together?” Hope asked.

“Yeah,” I said and pulled out my phone. I picked out a picture and said, “This one was taken after one of his concerts.”

After everyone at my table, and a few from other tables who had come over to take a look too, had seen the picture, my phone ended up in Dani’s hands. Just as she was about to pass it back, it buzzed.

Dani looked down at the screen and squealed. “Oh my God, he just text us Casey!”

“Us?” I laughed. “Give me my phone back.”

“He wrote, ‘kickin’ us out at 4:00’. Want me to come by and get you?”

“Dani! I can’t believe you read it.“

“It just popped up. I didn’t mean to. Can I text him back? Please…please.”

“No.”

“You’re so selfish,” Dani said laughing. “You get him all the time. I’m just asking for one little text.”

“Fine. One text,” I consented, rolling my eyes.

“Yah!” Dani cheered as she bent over the phone and started texting something. She snickered as she sent the text.

“What did you write?” Julianna asked.

“I put, ‘Well, hi there handsome!’”

“No you didn’t,” I laughed.

“Casey?” Jake texted back, almost immediately.

Dani read it out loud.

“He knew right away it wasn’t you,” Julianna giggled.

“Because I would never say that to him and he knows it,” I laughed.

“No, I’m Dani, Casey’s friend. I jacked her phone so I could say Hi.”

A couple seconds pass before Jake texts back, “Oh she finally told you about me, huh?”

“She did…and we are sufficiently impressed.”

“That means a lot.” Dani read, then laughed.

“He’s joking,” I added.

“I got that Casey.”

“So I hear you’re working on a new album. You got any songs on there about Casey.”

Jake didn’t respond for about a minute.

“Where did he go?” Dani complained to me.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged.

“Are you still there?” Dani asked.

No response.

“I told you he’s been busy,” I tried to explain.

“Yeah sorry,” Jake finally texted back. “Still here.”

“I thought you ditched me.”

“No. I’m in the middle of recording a song. And yes there might be one or two about Casey.”

“Can’t wait to hear them. Sorry to interrupt while you’re recording.”

“No worries.”

“Okay...just one more question…what’s the name of the song you’re recording?”

“Random Attack.”

“I’ll remember that. I’ll give Casey back her phone now. Thanks for being a good sport Jake. Hope we get to meet you soon.”

“Yeah. For sure.”

After Brandon dropped the bomb, word spread across the campus like wildfire. Within a twelve-hour period, it seemed, everyone knew who my boyfriend was. There was a lot of staring and whispering going on. Luckily my friends didn’t seem different. They still treated me the same way but I did get some good-hearted teasing. Because I showed up alone to everything, it had become the running joke among my friends that I was delusional and that I really wasn’t dating Jake at all. According to my friends, Jake was just my phantom boyfriend. It was pretty funny but not entirely without merit. Even I was not seeing as much of Jake as I would have liked.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Casey

The weeks leading up to Jake’s surgery were hectic. Not only was he putting in the long hours in the studio but he was also recording an original song for a soundtrack. In addition, he had a couple of videos to film and a handful of press appearances. I didn’t understand why he was trying to cram everything in all at once and became visibly annoyed with him on more than one occasion. In fact, his workload had actually caused us to have some of our first real fights. After each argument, Jake would promise me that he was almost done and, when everything had been completed, he would devote all his time to me.

But that didn’t happen. The album ran longer than expected and by the time it was complete, Jake only had five days to spare. And he didn’t spend them relaxing…or with me. He holed himself up in his townhouse and became quiet and withdrawn. I assumed his behavior was related to the impending surgery but he would not talk to me about it at all. I tried to be supportive and encouraging, I really did, but my patience was wearing thin.

Three days before his scheduled surgery, I came home from school to find Jake sleeping in the middle of the day, something totally out of character for him.

I nudged him awake and asked if he was okay.

“Yeah.” He said groggily.

“Are you sick?” I asked in concern. If he was would they cancel the surgery?

“No,” Jake said harshly. “I just want to sleep, okay?”

I was taken back by his brash attitude so I turned and walked out of the bedroom. Annoyed, I opened my book and tried to focus on studying. A few minutes passed before Jake came out of the bedroom. I ignored him. He went into the fridge and made himself a sandwich. The tension in the air was strong. He sat down in the chair opposite me and ate his sandwich in silence. He seemed out of it. He wasn’t looking me in the eye. Instantly I got a bad feeling.

“What’s your problem?” I asked him, annoyed.

Jake looked up at me then shook his head and went back to eating.

I pretended to lose myself in my studies but I couldn’t concentrate. I was getting madder by the second. Finally I slammed my book closed and stood up. “You know what Jake….I’m not going to play this game with you. If you feel like filling me in on why you’re being such a frickin’ dick, I’ll be at my apartment.” I grabbed my backpack and headed for the door.

“Casey stop!”

“You know, I don’t think I will,” I spat out and opened the front door.

“Casey, please, stop,” Jake sounded a bit worried now.

“Why? I came here so we could spend time together before your surgery and you’re acting like such a jerk.”

Jake just stared at me.

“What Jake? You got nothing for me?”

“Give me a break. I’ve had a rough day.”

I turned to him and said, irritably, “Are you going to talk to me about your rough day or am I going to have to guess?”

Jake put down his sandwich and shook his head. Finally he said the words that made my body tremble in fear.

“I…I don’t think…” Jake sighed. “The surgery. I have a bad feeling.”

It felt like I’d been slapped. “What do you mean? What kind of feeling?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling. Like I’m not going to survive.”

I stared back at him in shock.

“That is why I’ve been acting weird all week. I’m scared I’m about to lose everything.”

I shook my head. “No…that’s…no.”

Neither one of us spoke for at least a minute. Finally I whispered, “It’s normal to be apprehensive before a surgery Jake.”

“I know. I’ve had 14 surgeries over my lifetime Casey. I know what to expect.”

“Jesus Jake, if you have a bad feeling about the surgery, call it off. It isn’t too late.” I said trying to control the fear in my voice.

“I can’t do that.”

“Yes, Jake. Yes you can. Pick up the phone and tell them it’s off.”

Jake shook his head.

“You’re telling me you think you’re going to die but you refuse to call off the surgery? I’m not sure I understand your motivation here.”

“Well, when am I going to do it Casey?”

“I…I don’t know…but not now…not when you feel like this,” tears pooled in my eyes.

“I can’t just ignore the pain and hope it goes away. It won’t. I know. I’ve tried. My knee is a fucking mess and putting the surgery off won’t make it any easier for me later on.”

I stared at Jake for a while before whispering, “I don’t know what to say.”

“There’s nothing you can say, Case. It’s just a shitty situation and there is nothing I can do but take the risk.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks. “You’re basically telling me that you think you’re going to die, Jake. How am I supposed to respond to that?”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything but…I…I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“You won’t be,” I said as I hugged him. “You just have to talk to me. I hate when you shut me out.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I get lost in my head sometimes.”

I led him to the couch and we sat down. He wrapped me in his arms as we sat in silence. So much was going through my mind. Jake had suffered immeasurably in his life and now he believed that the surgery to repair some of that suffering could actually kill him. Life was so unfair sometimes. I leaned my head against his shoulder, overcome with worry.

“You’re going to be okay, Jake.” I finally said.

“You think?”

“I know.”

“Why?”

“Because you survived a serial killer. No way is surgery going to be the thing that takes you down.”

“It was a fluke that I survived, Casey. There was no skill or bravery involved.”

“Hold on…I’m not finished. You’re also going to survive because you’re going to have babies with me someday.”

“I am?” Jake asked smiling. “I’d like that.”

“And they will be the cutest little nerdy, rocker babies you ever saw. They are going to be beautiful and funny and smart and talented.”

“Hold on… I thought you said they were going to be mine,” Jake joked.

“Right but you forget, they will be half mine too,” I played along.

“Oh right,” Jake smiled.

“And the third reason why I know you’re going to survive is because if you don’t, I will kick your ass!”

“That might be a little hard to do, if I’m dead and all,” Jake joked.

“Oh, I’d find a way. There is nothing more dangerous than a woman scorned.”

We sat quiet for a few minutes holding hands then Jake bent down and kissed me.

“I love you,” he said, and then added, “so much. I hope you know that.”

“I do. Of course I do. And I love you too.”

“No matter what happens, don’t ever forget that.”

“Nothing’s going to happen Jake. You’re going to go into that surgery and come out with a new knee. Then you’re going to wake up and see my dorky face smiling back at you. That is all that is going to happen…because, goddammit…the universe owes you that much.”

“Damn right it does,” he smiled. “You know what else it owes me?”

“No, what?”

“Last minute surgery sex.”

“Jesus Christ Jake, if all that was a show to get me to open my legs for you, all you needed to do was give me that sexy little head tilt of yours and you’d have had me.”

Jake laughed. “What can I say, I’m dramatic.”

He reached down and cupped my ass, pulling me down. He climbed on top of me and started nibbling on my neck as I giggled.

“On the couch?” I questioned. “What are we, sixteen?”

“Would you prefer a wall?” Jake joked, referencing our first encounter.

“Oh God, don’t remind me. I was such a slut.”

“No, you were the hottest chick EVER!”

“Was?” I teased.

“Well, I mean, you still are but that night, sliding down that wall,” Jake shook his head and smirked, “it was so damn hot.”

“I have a deal for you.”

“Okay,” Jake said looking hopeful for another wall encounter.

“Yeah, no, buddy, not what I was offering. You can’t even get on your knees at this point. The deal is…you recover from your surgery and then you’ll fly me back to that hotel, and get us that exact room, and we will have a repeat.”

Jake smiled. “I’m down for that. Does that mean I’m not getting any tonight?”

“I didn’t say that,” I teased then stood up and offered my hand to him. “But I’m not doing you on the couch.”

The evening before the surgery, I lay in Jake’ arms on the bed, my finger traced lazy lines on his chest. I kept circling one of the deep scars surrounded by a tattoo.

“It’s a stab wound,” Jake offered up, completely out of the blue.

Stunned by his admission, I figured I would try my luck for a second time and ran my fingers lower and pointed at another deep gash encased under ink.

“Stab wound.”

I touched a third, similar scar.

“Another stab wound,” he confirmed.

I ran my finger over a long, thin scar running the length of his arm.

“Knife.”

“And the two deep ones on your back…are those stab wounds too?”

Jake nodded.

“So five in all?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

Jesus. What the hell? Although I’d assumed as much just by looking at his scars, the confirmation of such horrible violence shocked me. Neither of us said anything for a minute.

Finally I asked the question I’d wondered since first hearing his story all those years ago on the news, “How…I just…I can’t figure out how you did it? How did you escape…especially after getting stabbed five times?”

Jake looked away. He didn’t answer me. Maybe he couldn’t.

“Sorry, you don’t have to tell me.”

It was quiet for a long time. I figured we were done talking. Then Jake surprised me.

“I’ve been offered millions of dollars to answer that question.”

“I’m sure. Have you ever told anyone?”

Jake hesitated then said, “Lassen.”

“Lassen?” I asked in surprise. Wow. They were closer than I ever suspected. “He knows a lot…you’d never guess.”

Jake nodded. “Lassen knows how to keep his mouth shut.”

“So do I,” I offered.

Jake looked at me. “I know.”

I looked at his face. He was stressed. I didn’t want to upset him the night before his surgery. I rose up and kissed his cheek. “Never mind. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay,” Jake agreed, seemingly relieved.

We lay there silently as I tried to come up with another topic to discuss.

Finally he sighed and opened up, “he thought I was dead.”

“What…what does that mean?” I asked.

“Ray…he thought I was dead.”

“After he stabbed you?”

“No, before he stabbed me, he…,” Jake hesitated, “he strangled me.”

I didn’t know what to say so I remained quiet.

“Maybe when he’d checked my heartbeat or pulse or whatever…maybe I’d actually stopped breathing, I don’t know…but I woke up on a piece of plastic on the floor of the basement, still very much alive.”

“What happened? Why did he strangle you?”

“I…that’s a story for another day. The point is, he strangled me and he thought I was dead and he laid me on a piece of plastic that he planned to wrap my body in when he buried me. When I woke up, he was outside digging my grave.”

“Jesus,” I mumbled. My heart was racing. Was this really happening? Was Jake really telling me this?

“When I was…uh…there…he always kept restraints on me but when I woke up, they were off.”

“Because he thought you were dead.”

“Yes. I understood pretty quickly what was happening. I tried to come up with some kind of a plan.”

“To escape?”

Jake hesitated. “No. Not to escape…to die.”

I gaped at him in shock. “Why would you want to die?”

“I didn’t want to die, Casey. All I ever wanted every minute of every day was to live but the kind of living Ray was offering wasn’t living…it was just slow dying.”

I nodded. I couldn’t believe he was telling me all this.

“The thing is…I’d given up long before Ray strangled me. When he took out my knee about a week before the escape…that’s when my hope died.”

I stroked his arm, speechless.

“Anyway, I was trying to come up with a plan to be dead before he got back down into the basement and found me alive. Ray had used a knife on me plenty of times, as you can see,” Jake said as he pointed to his body. “So I got it and sat back down on my plastic and prepared to cut my wrists.”

“I…I don’t understand. If you had the knife, why didn’t you use it on Ray?”

“Because…I’d already tried that, Casey. That’s why I’m having surgery tomorrow.”