Cake Love: All Things Payne (29 page)

Chapter 15 - THE Joint ...

I'm blinking right now. Blinking like I have never blinked before. If there is an eye fluttering contest I will win it. I blink, trying desperately to understand how Mr. Payne can look me in the face, standing next to his girlfriend, knowing how he has fingered me up my vagina!

*This love tunnel, this thatched cottage,

This mountain majesty, this seat of Venus,

This other Eden, demi-pubes,

This valley built by Nature for her hand

Against infection (eww) and the hand of man,

This happy O, this little beaver,

This precious peach set in the red sea,

Which serves it on the office desk

Or with a dildo at home,

Against the envy of less happier cocks,--

This Lawrence of a Labia, this Notorious V.A.G., this Velvet Glove, this Vagina.

I stop blinking and smirk. Like the day I met him I plaster on the most fake smile I can muster, push my hand into Tiffany's bony one and give a punishing shake. Her grin slips into a painful grimace and she snaps her hand back, subtly trying to massage out the pain.

This is where I go overboard. Only Aria knows of my "psycho" tendencies when I am in stress. Well, stress that deals with men. I'm like a car accident, you don't want to look but you really actually do.

"Girlfriend! Well that is so great!" I squeal at the top of my lungs and then turn to my friends nodding furiously. "Isn't that great you guys and isn't she beautiful?"

I push out of the seat and throw my arms around Tiffany like she is the best friend I am reuniting with after a prolonged absence. As if I'm not acting bizarre enough I start to jump up and down and snort while still attached to her.

"Oh, Tiffany, I mean it you are simply divine." I feel a hand tugging at my arm and look back to see Aria glaring at me shaking her head while mouthing the word "no" to me. Stumbling back I hit the table and watch as the milkshake finally tips, rolls in my direction and splatters all over my jeans.

It's cold. Feels like icy shards of glass scraping down my leg but I'm still smiling like a loon.

"Are you all right, Ms. Drake?" Mr. Payne asks with the same expression he had on his face when I almost passed out during the interview.

Oh mighty gods of THE, keeper of all things THE, please don't let me punch him. Please.

"I'm fine." I growl at him between clenched teeth.

That answer should tell him to back away slowly because I'm feeling stabby. If a woman answers that she is okay, then she is okay. If a woman answers she is mad, she is pissed. If a woman answers she is "fine," it's too late for you, just hope it's over quickly.

I feel the hand yank me away from the table and I stumble along. Aria pulls me into a bathroom that makes airplane lavatories look spacious. I manage to squeeze past her to sit on the toilet so I have some room.

"Morgana, do you know why a dick gets hard?"

I roll my eyes and give in, "No why does a dick get hard, Aria?"

"To stay in shape."

I start blinking again at her. She shrugs and leans back on the wood grained wall.

"It's a scientific fact that a penis needs to periodically be engorged to maintain a healthy tone."

I'm still blinking but finally just shut my eyes and sigh. Then I groan and drop my head between my legs.

"How was that a joke or relevant in any way, Aria?"

"I just thought it was interesting. Plus it helped take your mind off of Mr. Payne for a moment."

She's right. The woman may make terrible jokes, but she is the best person I know who can divert my attention from the horribleness of my life. Right now only heroin might be a better distraction.

Aria is on her knees wiping the chocolate from my leg with a wet paper towel. For the first time in the past ten minutes my lips curve into a genuine smile. As shitty as Mr. Payne has been I still have the people who really love and care about me.

"Thank you, Aria, for being my friend." I brush my hand through her platinum hair.

She looks up at me and smirks while shrugging her shoulders.

"If I didn't become your friend who would?"

"And there it is. I was happy for that one second and then impaled in the heart once more." I wink at her. Her eyes go wide and there is an odd expression on her face.

"Uh, Morgana, you know we are only friends. Just because your grandma wants us to hook up doesn't mean we should. And even if we did, a diner bathroom is not what I would have in mind."

I remove my hand from her hair and give a playful smack on the shoulder. There is a knock at the door.

"Ms. Drake, I need to speak with you." Mr. Payne's voice bellows through the door.

Aria gets up and nods. She loosens the top three buttons on my sweater and pushes it open to reveal enough cleavage for a man to fall into. I shove her hands away.

"You have to show him what he's missing, Morgana." She winks back at me tossing the wet towel in the trash and opens the bathroom door before I have time to protest. Aria strolls to Henrik and points her thumb at me.

"She's all yours. Oh, and my father is a lawyer. So, fuck with her and I will lawyer the crap out of all of this." She waves her hand around his body and then turns to go.

Mr. Payne shakes his head and walks into the bathroom, shutting it behind him. This is a really popular bathroom I'm guessing.

"Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend? She might get jealous." I glare at him while narrowing my eyes.

He leans back on the wall roughly combing his fingers through his hair and sighing.

"Look, Ms. Drake, not that my personal life is any of your business."

I stand, cutting him off and plant my hands on my hips.

"Really? Really? Really? Uh ... really? Because last I checked you shoved your hand in my crotch not once but twice in the last month, so I'm thinking you having a girlfriend is my business."

His head tilts back hitting the wall.

"Morgana, it's just a bit more complicated than that. She isn't my girlfriend in that way. She's much more to me."

Wait a minute! So she's more than a girlfriend?

"Oh that makes it so much better! You are a real piece of work, you know that? Must be nice living all rich, having one girl at home and another at work. No one to say no to you and all your desires. Now you even have one running your errands. Must be awesome your life. Awesome!"

I try to squeeze past him to get to the door but he grabs me, pinning me in place. His erection is digging into me making it a little painful to move. Jesus, he's turned on? When doesn't this man have a boner? No wonder he has to have two women in his life.

His head dips to my neck as he nuzzles his teeth there with little bites rendering me helpless. Anything involving my neck makes me catatonic. I think there is a magic button that men seem to find.

His hands land on my hips and curl into my jeans. It almost hurts, his fingers are pressing so hard causing a moan to escape my lips.

"Morgana, it's just not what you think it is. I have never even kissed Tiffany."

His hand reaches around and I feel it start to migrate under my jeans toward my ass. That's when I realize that this is like every other time with him. I couldn't tell you how I managed to discover this as he has me in a trance, but the thought pops into my head nonetheless.

He seduces me, but expects me to stay quiet and forget it ever happened after. Well no more! I push away from him and open the door. Before I leave I glance back. His hands are gripping the sink with his head hanging down. If I didn't know him better I would feel sorry for him, he looks defeated. But, I do know him so I don't.

"This is not okay." I wave a hand between us and then head back to the table.

Chapter 16 - THE Bathroom ...

It's been a week and a half since the diner incident. Mr. Payne won't look at me. It's quite comical actually. On Thursday he caught me coming back from lunch in the hallway. He informed me about a meeting that needs to be scheduled with the Denton Group. His eyes gazed at my shoes, the wall, the ceiling and finally he turned his back to me but continued talking. Yes, he held a conversation with me as I responded to his back.

Sometimes I wonder if he is only twelve. I'm not much better if I am going to be honest. I've taken to taunting him a bit. Just a little. I wear my glasses all the time now because I know how much he loves them. Also, any chance I get to show some cleavage or hike up my skirt just enough to flash my thigh highs I will. I know it's awful but the man has been toying with me for over a month! All is fair with sex at work.

Luckily he is off-site at a meeting most of the day. I can relax and take my time with my work. I decide to stroll over to see what Evaleen is up to. Opening the door to HR I witness a very altered Evaleen for her face is red. Her head is nodding wildly with giggles escaping her mouth that sound hysterical.

Stepping further inside I observe Edgar Mimir sitting in her office. Ahh, that explains everything. That man turns her into a lovesick schoolgirl the moment he enters the room.

"That is a brilliant idea Mr. Mimir." She shrieks.

He's rising from the chair and heading to the door, nodding and winking to me as he goes.

"I'm glad you think so, Evaleen. Please, I've told you a hundred times call me Edgar. I'll have my assistant John email you the details. It's been a pleasure, Evaleen, as always. Nice to see you, Morgana. I'm glad Henrik hasn't destroyed your will to live just yet."

"Not just yet, but I have contacted a few people about making him disappear."

He chuckles and I notice a cackle coming from Evaleen causing me to shake my head in shame.

"Is that why he isn't here today? I promise if the police question me I won't breathe a word, Morgana." Edgar winks again and Evaleen gives a sigh.

"Unfortunately no, he just has an off-site meeting so he will be back this afternoon. In the meantime I thought I would break out the champagne with my friend here and enjoy the calm."

"You do that. Wish I could stay and have fun with you ladies but John would have my balls in a vice if I deviated from his schedule."

He waves goodbye and strolls out the door. I turn to Evaleen and witness her collapse onto her chair. She looks like someone just switched off the fan of a wacky-waving inflatable tube man that guards car dealerships or gas stations.

"Oh God, Drake! Why am I such an idiot around him?"

I stride over and neatly place myself in the seat that moments ago held her crush's ass cheeks. It is still warm.

"Because he's gorgeous and charming and has an ass begging to be squeezed."

Evaleen raises her head, but lays it back down on the desk, face down.

"You noticed too. I'm a smart woman with discerning tastes so I should know better than be attracted to the male slut of the year. Ugg! Well at least I don't fantasize about a total asshole like Payne."

"Hey! I am sitting here trying to make you feel better and you call out my stupid; not nice, Bechmann."

She raises her head and finally sits up, almost completely back to her usual secure self.

"I know I'm sorry. Payne is crazy sexy I will admit that. For that reason alone I understand your attraction. Let's start a club. We can call it Smart Women for Idiot Men or SWIM."

Nodding my head I stand and come to sit on the edge of her desk.

"That's really good. You just thought of that?"

Evaleen scrunches her face and shakes her head.

"Not really. The idea has been brewing for a while. But, I figured we could have a support group so to speak and meet every Thursday for cocktails."

"Oh I really like that. I'll invite Aria. She sort of qualifies. She has one night stands with idiot men. How about Grace? She's in love with Mr. Payne."

Evaleen shakes her head and frowns.

"No! No crazies allowed. I think Grace is sweet if not naïve but she is also a bit touched. She's like a fart: funny, but best kept at a distance."

I laugh and nod. Poor Grace. I wish some guy would sweep her off her feet so she can understand healthy love. Jeez, I'm a hypocrite. Here I am judging her for liking Payne and I'm the same way.

"Perhaps she will grow out of it. I've got to get back. You want to get lunch? We can plan out where the meeting is to be held."

Looking up I see Evaleen starting to type on her keyboard as she nods. As I rise I snag my thigh highs on her desk. Nimbly I try to unhook my stockings from the wood desk, but manage to make a huge run in it.

"Yeah, we can go to the Taqueria down the block, say noon? I'll come find you."

I hobble toward the door trying to stop the tear from moving down my leg.

"Sounds good. Hey do you have any nail polish or hairspray?" I stop right before the door and glance back at Evaleen.

"No, sorry can't help."

She resumes her typing as I walk through the door. Briskly I make my way back to my desk. Once there I try my best to undo the garter from my stockings but it's stuck. Realizing I will have to hike up my skirt and bend at an odd angle to see what is going on, I decide to take my work into the bathroom.

Walking over to the ladies room I try to push open the door but it won't budge. It's a multi-stall room so it shouldn't be locked. I pound my fist on the door.

"Sorry, it's being cleaned. Come back in fifteen minutes." I hear a female voice coming from inside.

Great, in fifteen minutes the Brooks Bomb will go off and I don't want to be anywhere near here. Ken Brooks, our CFO has a regularly scheduled appointment at eleven o’clock every day with the men's bathroom to release the Kraken from his butt. My desk is conveniently located mere feet from ground zero of the fragrant destruction. I always make myself scarce from my desk while he takes his leave.

Praying no one is in the men's bathroom I slip inside and tiptoe into a stall. Bending down I don't see any feet under the metal partitions so I start to get to work. Suddenly I hear the bathroom door swing open right as I have my skirt hem gathered in the clutches of my teeth. I quickly spit out the fabric and as quietly as possible hop up on the stall begging silently that Brooks hasn't started the meeting early.

The door next to me opens and there is a distinct sound of a zipper. After some shuffling I hear a sigh. Bringing my ear close I wait for the sound of urine hitting water but what happens next shocks me more than a Brooks assault.

"Oh Morgana."

Oh. My. God. It's Mr. Payne. Jesus, he knows I'm in here, but how?

I'm about to step off the toilet when I hear more shuffling.

"God, what I want to fucking do to you, Morgana. Oh fuck, that's right put your pretty pouty lips over my cock. God I love your dirty mouth."

I freeze. If I were a cartoon my eyes would pop out of my head at least twenty feet in front of me. The rustling sound is increasing in volume as I come to the realization my boss is jacking off to me in the office bathroom.