Call Me Jane (16 page)

I crossed Bowen. There were cars on Bowen Street, but I didn’t watch for them, I just walked right out in front of them, which turned out to be no big deal.

The lights on Bowen, yellow and red and green, and the streetlights blaring like a circus. The colors swirled in a confusing and terrifying jumble, causing me to run. I wanted to outrun the swaying street and traffic lights.

I ran up my driveway to the back porch, grabbed the door knob, and turned it. The door was unlocked. Good, because I didn’t have my keys. I shut the door behind me—no I slammed it, because in my drunken state that’s all I knew how to do was slam—and held onto it to keep myself standing straight up. The kitchen wobbled, the floor wouldn’t stop coming toward me, then the yellow-gold stove was at an angle, now the sink was going away from me and the refrigerator pulled me forward. How do I make this stop? How do I make this stop?

Paul wouldn’t even look at me. The expression that had been on his face said, “I don’t even know you.”

It was all my fault. Glinda was right about me. I was no good. Now Lucy was bleeding. I shouldn’t have told Potty Mouth. I shouldn’t have told her, and now Lucy was bleeding because I wouldn’t stop seeing Paul, because I couldn’t do the right thing. She was bleeding and it was all my fault. I was a terrible person.

I grabbed for the shelf over the sink, grabbed that economy-sized bottle like it was a life raft. I drank the entire bottle with no liquid.

Oh no! Now I’m going to die. I don’t want to die.

I grabbed the phone, which seemed again to be moving and moving. I had to pounce on it to hold it still. I dialed 911.

“I just took a bunch of pills. My address? Oh, it’s um, let me think, um...”

The floor finally succeeded in its attempt to come up and hit me in the face.

Then I heard this strange sound. Sirens. I lay on the floor wondering vaguely,
Who’s that for
?

THE END

Table of Contents

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE

THIRTEEN

FOURTEEN

FIFTEEN

SIXTEEN

SEVENTEEN

EIGHTEEN

NINETEEN

TWENTY

TWENTY ONE

TWENTY TWO

TWENTY THREE

TWENTY FOUR

TWENTY FIVE

TWENTY SIX

TWENTY SEVEN

TWENTY EIGHT

TWENTY NINE

THIRTY