Rule of Life

THE

RULES

OF

LIFE

A personal code for living a

better, happier, and more

successful kind of life

Expanded Edition

RICHARD TEMPLAR

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©2011 by Pearson Education, Inc.

Publishing as FT Press

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Authorized adaptation from the original UK edition, entitled
The Rules of Life
, Second Edition, by Richard Templar, published by Pearson Education Limited,

©Pearson Education 2010.

This U.S. adaptation is published by Pearson Education Inc,

©2010 by arrangement with Pearson Education Ltd, United Kingdom.

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Printed in the United States of America

First Printing November 2010

ISBN-10: 0-13-248556-7

ISBN-13: 978-0-13-248556-2

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Templar, Richard, 1950-2006.

The rules of life : a personal code for living a better, happier, more successful life / Richard Templar. — Expanded ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-0-13-248556-2 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Conduct of life. I. Title.

BJ1581.2.T42 2011

158.1—dc22

2010038220

Dedication

This book is dedicated to Miyamoto Musashi, who taught me the strategy of simplicity, and Jamie Greenwood, who taught me

economy of movement. I am indeed deeply

indebted to both of them

No Fear

No Surprise

No Hesitation

No Doubt

Contents

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .viii Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .xii
Part I

Rules for You
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
1

1

Keep It Under Your Hat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4

2

You’ll Get Older But Not Necessarily Wiser . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

3

Accept What Is Done Is Done . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8

4

Accept Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10

5

Know What Counts and What Doesn’t . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12

6

Dedicate Your Life to Something . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14

7

Be Flexible in Your Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16

8

Take an Interest in the Outside World . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18

9

Be on the Side of the Angels, Not the Beasts . . . . . . . . . . .20

10

Only Dead Fish Swim with the Stream . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22

11

Be the Last to Raise Your Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24

12

Be Your Own Adviser . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26

13

No Fear, No Surprise, No Hesitation, No Doubt . . . . . . . . .28

14

I Wish I’d Done That—and I Will . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30

15

It’s OK to Give Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32

16

Count to Ten—or Recite “Baa Baa Black Sheep” . . . . . . . .34

17

Change What You Can Change; Let Go of the Rest . . . . .36

18

Aim to Be the Very Best at Everything You Do—

Not Second Best . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .38

19

Don’t Expect to Be Perfect . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .40

20

Don’t Be Afraid to Dream . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .42

21

If You’re Going to Jump Off a Bridge, Make Sure You Know How Deep the Water Is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44

22

Don’t Dwell on the Past . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .46

23

Don’t Live in the Future . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .48

24

Get on With Life—It’s Whooshing Past . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .50

25

Be Consistent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .52

26

Dress Like Today Is Important . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .54

27

Have a Belief System . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .56

iv

T H E R U L E S O F L I F E

28

Leave a Little Space for Yourself Each Day . . . . . . . . . . . . .58

29

Have a Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .60

30

Have a Sense of Humor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .62

31

Choose How You Make Your Bed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .64

32

Life Can Be a Bit Like Advertising . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .66

33

Get Used to Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone . . . . . . .68

34

Learn to Ask Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70

35

Have Dignity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .72

36

It’s OK to Feel Big Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .74

37

Keep the Faith . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76

38

You’ll Never Understand Everything . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .78

39

Know Where True Happiness Comes From . . . . . . . . . . . .80

40

Life Is a Pizza . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82

41

Know When to Let Go—When to Walk Away . . . . . . . . . . . .84

42

Retaliation Leads to Escalation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .86

43

Look After Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .88

44

Maintain Good Manners in All Things . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .90

45

Prune Your Stuff Frequently . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .92

46

Remember to Touch Base . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .94

47

Draw the Lines Around Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .96

48

Shop for Quality, Not Price . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .98

49

It’s OK to Worry, or to Know How Not To . . . . . . . . . . . . . .100

50

Stay Young . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .102

51

Throwing Money at a Problem Doesn’t Always Work . . . .104

52

Think for Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106

53

You Are Not in Charge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108

54

Have Something in Your Life That Takes You Out of Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .110

55

Only the Good Feel Guilty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .112

56

If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything at All . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .114

Part II Partnership Rules
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
117

57

Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .120

58

Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves . . . . . . .122

59

Be Nice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124

C O N T E N T S

v

60

You Want to Do What? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .126

61

Be the First to Say Sorry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .128

62

Go That Extra Step in Trying to Please Them . . . . . . . . . .130

63

Always Have Someone—or Something—That Is Pleased to See You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .132

64

Know When to Listen and When to Act . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .134

65

Have a Passion for Your Life Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .136

66

Make Sure Your Love Making Is Making Love . . . . . . . . . .138

67

Keep Talking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .140

68

Respect Privacy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .142

69

Check You Both Have the Same Shared Goals . . . . . . . . .144

70

Treat Your Partner Better Than Your Best Friend . . . . . . .146

71

Contentment Is a High Aim . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .148

72

You Don’t Both Have to Have the Same Rules . . . . . . . . .150

Part III Family and Friends Rules
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
153

73

If You Are Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend . . . . . .156

74

Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .158

75

Let Your Kids Mess Up for Themselves—They Don’t Need Any Help from You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .160

76

Have a Little Respect and Forgiveness for Your Parents . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .162

77

Give Your Kids a Break . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .164

78

Never Lend Money Unless You Are Prepared to Write It Off . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .166

79

Keep Quiet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .168

80

There Are No Bad Children . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .170

81

Be Up Around People You Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .172

82

Give Your Kids Responsibilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .174

83

Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .176