Calling All the Shots (5 page)

It had been a blow for Gail and a bit of a shock for Willow to
learn since Russell had been settling paternity suits with ex-girlfriends for
years. He’d done it mainly to help out the women but also because he hadn’t
wanted the world to know that he couldn’t have kids of his own. He’d had a
reputation to keep up; for Russell, the ability to procreate had been tied to
his own masculinity, and he hadn’t wanted the world to know he couldn’t have
kids.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ve got a great man and a good life. It’s just that
sometimes I’m envious.”

“Me, too. Nic makes everything seem so easy,” Willow said.

“Who makes everything seem easy?” Nichole said as she sat back
down.

“You,” Willow said.

“As if. I’m a mess and you both know it. I can’t have caffeine
while I’m pregnant, my feet are swollen and though he denies it, I’m sure Conner
wishes I wasn’t as big as I am.”

“Oh, my, it’s so funny how on the outside it seems no one has
any problems.”

“But we all do,” Gail said.

Everyone did have problems, Willow thought. Did Jack? If so,
what was he hiding? And if not, she needed to know the answer soon so she could
get some closure from the past.

* * *

Willow was surprised when she arrived at work the next
morning and found a FedEx package waiting for her. Her offices in Midtown often
received shipments but this was the first time she’d had one from Jack. She
opened the medium box expecting…hell, she didn’t know what she was expecting
because he shouldn’t have been sending her anything. She tipped the box over on
her desk and three small wrapped boxes fell to the surface.

She sat down in her chair and leaned back in it, studying the
gifts. Why was Jack sending her gifts? Damn, this was way more complicated than
she’d expected. Yet it wasn’t. She felt a thrill deep in her stomach as she
reached for the first gift without thinking and started opening the paper. But
then she noticed a small note underneath the presents.

She pulled the note toward herself and saw her name printed in
Jack’s bold style. She recognized the handwriting immediately as it hadn’t
changed since high school. She traced her finger over the letters of her own
name then opened the note.

Willow,

I saw these and thought of you. I hope you
like them. Can’t wait for our date on Saturday.

Jack.

She put the note aside, lifting up the first package which was
a rectangular box. She unwrapped it slowly then felt silly—it wasn’t as if he’d
sent her a bomb. Another little note was taped to the brown box.

A hug that won’t get your back
up.

She carefully opened the box and pulled out the small
knickknack. It was a figurine of two bears hugging each other. The bigger bear
had eyes the same color as Jack’s. She ran her fingers over the little
statuette, taking a moment to put the paper in the trash can and set the note
underneath the bears. She moved it over next to her phone so she could see it
but anyone entering her office wouldn’t be able to.

She set it aside and reached for the next present. She didn’t
think about the emotions that were roiling through her at that moment because
she wasn’t ready to deal with them.

The second present was also in a little brown box and when she
pulled it out and peeled away the bubble wrap she saw it was a frog prince with
a crown on it…a tiny trinket box. There was a hinge under the pillow the frog
was sitting on where the box opened up to reveal another note.

Even I know that I’m still a prince in
frog’s clothing.

She swallowed hard as tears burned the back of her eyes. How
did Jack know the exact right things to say to her? Could one dinner with him
have really laid all of her soul bare? She knew it hadn’t. Knew that she’d said
he was charming in that sarcastic way of hers and this is how he’d interpreted
it.

A cold knot inside her heart where she’d dreamed of revenge
against Jack Crown was starting to melt. And frankly that scared her.

Scared her because he was making her care about him and even
worse than that he was making her believe he might really care for her. She was
almost afraid to open the last box but when she did she found a set of six
wineglass charms that reminded her of Texas, as they included three cowboy boots
in red, white and blue and three cowboy hats in different colors.

To remind you of our shared
past.

She shook her head and pushed back from her desk, walking away
from the gifts that Jack had sent her. He’d done a good job of finding just the
right things to speak to her soul, but that last one—the reminder of their
shared past—was the one that was causing her the most conflict.

She didn’t want to remember the old Jack and yet she knew that
boy was part of the man he was today. She didn’t want to trust that boy. She’d
done so once at her own peril.

“Hey, boss lady. You ready for an exciting day of love in the
big city?” Kat asked as she entered the main office area. Kat had on one of
those goofy hats shaped like an animal head that they sold to tourists in Times
Square. Her coat was an old navy peacoat that Kat had inherited from her
grandfather when he’d died.

“Always. That’s why I’m so successful,” Willow said. And to be
honest, she needed work today to get her mind off Jack.

“That and coffee,” Kat said, pulling her hands from behind her
back and showing off two Starbucks cups. “I’m the best assistant in the
world.”

“Yes, you are,” Willow said, getting up from her desk and
walking over to Kat. But as they reviewed the footage from the day before and
she made notes for the editor, she couldn’t help but think of the little gifts
sitting on her desk.

That frog was so Jack. Pretty and pompous and full of the
self-deprecating humor that made him so different from the boy she’d known long
ago. Nichole had been wiser than Willow had given her credit for when she’d
suggested that Jack was the key to unlocking something inside of her. She hadn’t
realized how much she’d given up when she’d let Jack’s attitude twist the way
she looked at men.

And those gifts from him were showing her how much she’d missed
out on. She’d rarely let any man see a part of her that she’d shown Jack the
other night. Was she awakening to a new self or was it Jack who was
responsible?

“Willow?”

“Yes?”

“Phone’s for you,” Kat said. “It’s Jack.”

“I’ll take it in my office,” Willow said, heading back to her
office and closing the door behind her. She sat down and reached for the
phone.

“This is Willow.”

“Good morning. Did you get my package?” Jack asked.

His deep husky voice brushed over her senses, leaving a
tingling trail in its wake. She rubbed her hands over her arms and closed her
eyes, remembering the last time he’d spoken to her in the hallway outside his
apartment. She had wished a hundred times she’d gone back in there and had sex
with him. Then she could have walked away the next morning and kept her emotions
safely buttoned up.

Instead she’d opened herself up to dating and already she knew
that was a mistake. The gifts, the texts and now this morning call were all
signs that they were getting in too deep.

“I did…why are you calling me so early? Shouldn’t you still be
in bed?” she asked. It was nine on the East Coast, which meant it was only six
in Los Angeles.

“Got a shoot this morning with PJ Montaine…surfing in
Malibu.”

“You do lead a hard life,” Willow said. She wasn’t ready to
talk to Jack about anything consequential. She needed time and privacy and she
hoped that there would be enough of both before she saw him again so she could
figure out exactly what she needed.

Silence buzzed on the line and she looked for something to say
so she could end this call.

“Did you like my gifts?” he asked.

“Yes. They were fun and made me smile. Thank you,” she
said.

“You’re welcome. I saw them in the lobby gift shop and since I
was thinking of you—”

“Were you thinking of me?” she asked.

“All the time,” he said with a sigh she heard through the
phone. “I can’t wait to see you again. What about you?”

She took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking of you, too. You
are without a doubt the most complicated man I’ve ever met.”

“You sound frustrated.”

“I am.”

“Sexually?”

Startled, she had to laugh. “A little bit. This would be a lot
easier if it was just about sex. Is it for you?”

Five

S
ex.
She wanted to know if
he was pursuing her just for sex. It had started out that way; he wasn’t going
to lie about that to himself. But he’d dated enough women to know he could never
say that out loud.

In his mind he knew the exact moment when Willow became a woman
he wanted in his bed as opposed to being a girl he used to know that he worked
with now. And though he’d spent a lot of time imagining her straddling his lap
with that long fall of black hair spilling over her shoulders as she rode him,
that wasn’t what had made the crucial difference in how he’d seen her.

No, that had been an unexpected moment when he’d been on the
set with the second couple on the show—Alex Cannon and Fiona McCaw. Fiona had
her sweet little daughter, Bella Ann, with her.

Seeing Willow holding Fiona’s baby had been like a bolt of
lightning to him. He caught a glimpse behind that prickly shield of hers and
something had changed. He’d seen a bit of longing and such adoration for that
baby that he wanted to pull her into his arms and promise her that he’d give her
whatever she wanted.

“Jack?” she asked.

“Yeah?” he answered, still stuck somewhere in the past and in a
fantasy where they didn’t have all the pressures of his job and lifestyle. Not
to mention her job and her hang-up when it came to men and dating.

“So it is all about sex for you?” she asked. He heard more than
just a tinge of disappointment in her voice. And though he knew he shouldn’t be,
he was upset that she’d been so easily let down by him.

“I should have guessed,” she said at last.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Willow. Of course I want you.
You’re one sexy woman and when I’m with you I can’t help thinking about what it
would be like to have those long legs of yours wrapped around my hips.”

“Really?” she asked, that adorable little squeak of hers making
an appearance.

“Yes,” he said because he couldn’t think of Willow and not
think about having her in his arms. “But it’s not just that. I also think about
how your silky hair will feel against my chest when I hold you afterward, but
that doesn’t mean I just want sex from you.”

“Why not?” she asked. “If this was just a one-night thing we
could both just do it and move on.”

“I don’t know,” he said and he meant it. He was the king of
moving on but he didn’t want to fly through Willow’s life. He wanted more.
“There is something about you that keeps me coming back for more. Even when
you’re giving me the cold shoulder, you’re the only woman I want.”

“Is it because of that?” she asked. “Maybe I seem unattainable,
so you want to prove you can get me.”

“No. I know this will come as a shock to you but women have
said no to me before.” He’d already run over that scenario in his head. Maybe
when he’d first shown up on set the challenge of overcoming Willow’s resistance
had been his motivation but once he’d seen her with that baby everything had
changed.

He didn’t want to believe that he’d changed. Wouldn’t admit
that maybe he wanted something more from life than his solo run through it. But
a part of him sort of did.

“I never thought you’d admit that out loud,” she said
wryly.

“Well, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me,” he
said. Usually he didn’t care what people thought of him. He knew that most
thought he’d had more than his share of good luck directed his way, but none of
those strangers understood the cost of being that lucky. No one else got that
dreams had to die for his golden opportunities to show up. And he didn’t want
Willow to be another dead dream from his past.

“What impression should I get?” she asked.

He wished he could see her face so he’d know what she wanted
from him. He didn’t like this feeling. It was almost like when he’d woken up in
the hospital after that game-ending injury. He’d had no idea what he wanted to
do with his life or what direction to go in.

Right now he knew he could say the wrong thing and that Willow
would drift farther away from him.

But he also knew he could say the right thing and bring her
closer. And wasn’t that the fly in the ointment? He’d never known the right
words for any woman and especially not with Willow.

What were the right words? He had no idea. He was just a guy
who was used to dating in a shallow world and Willow, despite the fact that
she’d been dating in the same world, expected something more from the men in her
life. There was a reason she was still single and he had the distinct feeling it
was because her standards were high.

He settled for something halfway between the truth and a line.
“Just that I’m a guy who wants to make a good impression on you. I don’t want
you to lump me together with every other guy you’ve cared about, but didn’t end
up with.”

“How do you know that I’ve cared about another guy?” she asked
and there was more than a hint of weariness in her tone now.

She made it impossible to ever really get closer to her because
every time he thought he had her figured out something else came up.

“Because you’re not a teenager anymore and no one gets to our
age without experiencing heartbreak at least once,” Jack said. That was one
thing he’d learned—that fame had no influence over. Some of his most famous
celebrity friends had been hurt worse than the average Joes he met when he was
out doing a promo tour.

“Even the ever-charming Jack Crown?” she asked.

He noted that she didn’t deny the heartbreak and made a mental
note to find out more about that. She was very good about changing the subject
back to him.

“I thought my gift made it clear…I’m still in my frog’s
clothing,” he said because most of his heartbreak hadn’t been interpersonal but
had involved big life-changing events.

“Waiting for the right kiss?” she asked.

“I think I might have had the right kiss the other night. Just
not enough of them,” he said, trying to lighten his own mood. “I definitely
think you should try again.”

“Oh, you. If I believed even half the stuff that came out of
your mouth I’d be in trouble.”

He didn’t know how to take that. “This isn’t a game for
me.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No. If I was interested in that type of thing I wouldn’t try
to pursue you while I’m taping two shows and flying between coasts each week.
The timing isn’t right.”

“Then why are you pursuing me?”

“Because you finally said yes,” Jack said. “That’s all I really
know, Willow.”

“Things like that make it hard to keep doubting you,” she said
at last. “And I don’t want to like you.”

“Why is that?” he asked.

“It has to do with high school,” she said. “But I don’t want to
talk about it on the phone.”

“Okay. We can chat about the past on Saturday. Did I do
something wrong back then?”

“Don’t you remember?” she asked.

He didn’t. He’d always made it a policy to not look back. He
was sure part of it had to do with losing his father at a very young age and
then always having to move around with his single mother as she tried to keep a
job. “Not really. I try to keep facing forward.”

“I can’t do that,” she said. “Everything in our pasts defines
where we are today.”

“But you have to let go of that to move on,” Jack said. “Is
that why you didn’t want to go out with me?”

“Yes,” she said. “The boy you were—never mind. We can talk
about that later.”

He didn’t want to let it go but he also wanted to see her face
when they discussed the past. What had he done? He honestly didn’t remember
anything upsetting happening during those years. He’d spent so much time on the
football field, focused on getting a full-ride scholarship so his mom wouldn’t
have to worry about putting him through college.

“Okay. I was really just calling to make sure you’d gotten my
gifts.”

“I did. Thank you again.”

“You’re very welcome,” he said. “Have a good day.”

“You, too,” she said.

He hung up the phone and lay back on his bed. Though he’d known
that the path to Willow was going to be complicated he hadn’t expected this.
What had he done to her in the past? Was it something that he could make right
now?

* * *

It was colder than normal for November, even though it
was Southern California. But the surf at Malibu was good this time of year, and
championship surfer PJ Montaine was in one of his gregarious moods, talking to
the crew as the cameraman mounted the camera to a surf board so they could tape
every second while they were out in the Pacific Ocean.

PJ’s job as a professional surfer was the subject of this
episode of
Extreme Careers,
which was the show Jack
liked best of all the ones he hosted.

Jack had surfed for the first time when he’d come to L.A. to
start working in TV, and PJ had been the one to teach him. The same sports
agent, Gary Horowitz, had represented them both back then.

“I hear you’re working on a matchmaking show…thinking of
settling down?” PJ asked as they took a break from filming and got into their
wet suits.

He thought about Willow and how much he wanted her in his bed,
but that was sex and not love. Jack wasn’t sure marriage was for him. After all,
someone had to believe in forever to make that kind of commitment. And he had
lost that belief a long time ago.

“Nah, it’s just a way to make a living.”

“Do you like it?” PJ asked.

“I do. It’s fun to talk to the couples as they try to figure
out if what they wanted when they went to the matchmaker is actually coming true
or if they’ve made a huge mistake. It’s wicked complicated,” Jack said.

“Understatement of the year, man. I remember when Rhia and I
first started dating. Hell, I didn’t think I’d ever feel confident that she was
my woman. Dating is so tumultuous. I bet it makes for some great episodes on the
show.”

“Yes, it does,” Jack said. But his mind was on Willow.
Tumultuous pretty much summed her up and how he felt about her. She had been
stonewalling him since May when he’d first been brought to
Sexy & Single
and started asking her out.

For his part, he wanted her. She was slim and sexy and had this
way of looking at him that frankly made him hard. There was something about a
woman in control that turned him on. But with Willow it was more than sex. He
wanted to unravel all her secrets and find out why she was such a badass now.
The girl he remembered from Texas hadn’t been.

“Ready to do this?” the director, Ben Johnson, said, coming
over to him.

Jack glanced at the waves and then over at PJ and nodded. The
sooner they got this session taped and edited the sooner he could head back to
the East Coast. Though given Willow’s reaction to the presents he’d sent her
this morning, he’d say his wooing was going better with the distance between
them.

He chalked that up to her orneriness. Every other woman he’d
dated had wanted to spend time going out to the A-list restaurants and
nightclubs so they could be seen. Willow seemed to prefer eating in his
apartment and getting gifts from him when he was gone.

“Crazy.”

“What is?” PJ asked as he walked over to him.

“Women,” Jack said.

PJ laughed. “You can say that again. You ready to do this?”

“Yes,” Jack said. They both grabbed their boards and waded out
into the ocean. Jack listened to Ben’s directions and then got on his board to
paddle out beyond the breaks. The water was cold, even though he had the wet
suit on. He wondered if Willow had ever been surfing. Would she enjoy it? He
knew he’d like to see her in a bikini.

“I’ll take the first set,” PJ said.

Jack nodded and watched his friend paddling toward the wave.
Jack saw something swimming in the water near PJ and wondered if it was the
school of dolphins that they’d seen earlier. He’d taped his intro with the
porpoises frolicking behind him.

But then he saw the dorsal fin at the same moment that PJ
screamed and fell into the water. There was thrashing and Jack stopped thinking,
realizing that PJ was being attacked by a shark.

He dove into the water, trying to remember the advice he’d read
on shark attacks. He thought attacking them, punching them in the nose, would
get them to loosen up. Jack drew back his fist and hit the shark as hard as he
could, not once but three times in a row. There was so much blood he could
scarcely see through it but he managed to grab PJ as the lifeguard/medic who was
on the shoot swam out to them. Together they got PJ free and swam with him to
shore.

Jack couldn’t stop shaking as the medic went to work on PJ. But
his friend was unresponsive as he was loaded onto the ambulance.

“I’m going with him,” Jack said, getting into the back of the
ambulance with the medic.

No one argued.

The director yelled that he’d meet him at the hospital and Jack
couldn’t say anything. He’d had brushes with death before but this one…this one
had scared the hell out of him. He couldn’t believe that PJ was lying there
practically lifeless after just joking and laughing what seemed like seconds
earlier.

Dammit, Jack thought. This was why…

“You okay, man?” the medic asked.

“Yeah. Is he going to make it?”

“I don’t know. He lost a lot of blood, but I’ve got him
stabilized. That was some quick thinking jumping on the shark the way you did.
How’d you know to do that?”

“I didn’t. I just knew I had to do something. I wasn’t really
thinking.”

“Well, you’ve got good instincts. If he makes it, it will be
thanks to you.”

God, please let him make it,
Jack
prayed to himself. He’d never been overly religious despite his mother’s best
efforts. But he reached out all the same. He needed to believe there was someone
up there listening who could help his friend pull through.