Calling All the Shots (9 page)

Her phone rang and she answered it.

“This is Home James Cars. Your driver is waiting for you at the
curb.”

The drive from Brooklyn to the city, despite being a long one
thanks to traffic, didn’t bring any resolution to her thoughts. When she finally
arrived at her destination, she tipped her driver and entered the
restaurant.

She spotted Jack waiting for her at the bar. He wore a dinner
jacket and a tie and his hair was slicked down. He stood up and approached when
he saw her. She shivered as she remembered that naked muscled body of his and
knew that she was doomed. She was never going to be rational about a man who
made her feel what Jack did.

* * *

Jack realized immediately that Willow felt as out of
place as he did. It was as if they’d gotten too close and now there was no way
to go back to the safe place they’d been before. The conversation was awkward
with stops and starts and he realized that he was partially to blame because he
was afraid to let her see how much she affected him.

He’d spent his entire life half hoping that things would last
and then being resigned when they didn’t. His mom would have said that was a
self-fulfilling prophecy and he guessed he’d have to admit that she was right
again.

Finally over dessert, when he’d learned that she didn’t care
for sparkly vampires and thought that too many people in Hollywood didn’t get
the viewing public, he put his elbows on the table and leaned toward her.

“Why did you pick me up today?” he asked. “You didn’t have to
and that move was a game changer.”

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and then seemed to
remember that she’d left the piece hanging to frame her face in the updo and
untucked it. “I…I don’t know.”

She took a sip of her wine and looked away from him at the
other diners and then back at him. “When I wasn’t sure if you were dead or
alive…it changed something inside of me. I stopped thinking about revenge—”

“Why do you want revenge? What did I do?”

She took a big swallow of her wine and then set the glass down.
“Do you remember me in high school?”

“Yes. You were my tutor for English. We met in the early
mornings before football practice.”

“That’s right. What else do you remember?” she asked.

He knew he was missing something but what? “We used to talk. I
remember you were determined to win a Pulitzer and get out of Frisco. You used
to say that you craved big cities and big minds that didn’t judge.”

She leaned back and gave him a shrewd look. “I’d forgotten how
arrogant I was. I thought I was better than everyone else in our class.”

“It didn’t come off that way,” he said. “You just seemed like
someone who knew what she wanted from life. Me, I just wanted to win State and
get that big shiny ring for myself. But you were already looking beyond high
school.”

She bit her lower lip. “I was. Um…you asked me to prom and
stood me up.”

“What?”

“Sorry I had to blurt that out but there was no other way. I
don’t want to remember that girl I was. We had been in a session and you brought
up prom and asked me if I was going… I said no, you said, well, if you want to
go I’ll take you.”

Suddenly he remembered. He’d wanted to do something nice for
Willow, who still had two more years in the town she’d wanted desperately to get
out of. He’d thrown the winning touchdown the previous fall to make his team
state champs and that dewy April morning it had seemed right to make the
offer.

“I don’t remember standing you up,” he said, wiping his mouth
and looking away from her. “Is that what you thought?”

It wasn’t what she thought—it was what had happened. She’d been
dressed up, even had her hair done, and he’d never shown up. She shook her head,
tossing her napkin down on the table and standing up. “It doesn’t matter. I’m
going to the ladies’ room.”

He watched her walk away, trying to remember more of that time.
Until she’d mentioned prom, he’d forgotten all about it. Though many of his
classmates had predicted that high school would be the high point of his life,
it hadn’t been. It had just been one more leg of a journey that had taken him
off in another direction.

But it had shaped Willow. He remembered going to her house… Oh,
no. Now he remembered what had happened. He’d stopped by two days before prom to
check and make sure he had the time right to pick her up. And Mrs. Stead had
confronted him.

She’d known who he was since he’d received a lot of local press
coverage after winning the State Championship and getting a full-ride
scholarship to the University of Texas. She’d told him in no uncertain terms
that her daughter wasn’t to be toyed with. He’d been a high school senior and
not willing to commit to anything other than prom. Which is when Mrs. Stead had
told him that it would be a kindness to leave Willow alone since her daughter
loved him.

He saw Willow coming back to the table and remembered with
shame how he’d acted back then. He’d assumed her mom would have said something
to her about him not coming, but now he guessed she hadn’t. And he’d been too
embarrassed to say anything to her about that day.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

She shook her head. “I…I thought you were a different guy back
then. I know you were immature.”

“I was. I can’t even relate to that kid anymore. But that’s no
excuse. I’m so sorry, Willow.”

From the look in her eyes, he knew he wasn’t going to gain
absolution from her with just a few words. He didn’t think he deserved it,
either. Why would he have just walked away without saying anything? he asked
himself. He knew why. Back then he was the biggest thing in Frisco and he had
thought Mrs. Stead had crossed a line.

“I was an ass,” he said. “I’m not that guy anymore.”

She almost smiled and he knew that she wanted to forgive him.
“What happened? Why didn’t you show up?” she asked.

“Your mom warned me off. She said that you were…” He paused,
realizing how embarrassing this might be for her.

“What did she say? When did you talk to my mom?” she asked.

“I stopped by after school two days before prom and you weren’t
there. Your mom knew who I was and told me that I shouldn’t mess around with you
because you had feelings for me.”

She turned red, and he realized his explanation wasn’t doing
him any good.

“She just said if I wasn’t serious about you it would be better
if I didn’t take you to prom. And I… Well, it ticked me off. I was a star at
school. Any other girl’s parents would have been excited if I’d asked their
daughter out.”

“So you got mad and decided to stand me up,” she said.

“I just figured your mom would say something to you when I
didn’t show up,” he said. “And I think I already admitted I was an ass. I wish
I’d been more mature back then.”

“Me, too,” she said. “But you have to understand that I spent a
lot of time resenting you.”

“Resentment? Was that it?”

“No, I hated you. I wished bad things would happen to you, but
no matter what happened you always sort of rolled with it and came out on the
other side with an even better life.”

“Let me take care of the check so we can get out of here and
talk. My life isn’t the bed of roses you think it is.”

He paid the bill and they walked outside where a light snow had
started to fall. “Do you mind taking a walk? I don’t want to be cooped up in the
car.”

She wore a heavy wool coat and had a scarf around her neck so
he knew she’d be warm enough.

“Where will we walk?”

“Want to take a look at the shop windows on Fifth?” he
suggested.

It seemed like something a normal couple would do on a date and
he didn’t want to admit how relieved he was when she agreed.

Nine

T
he cool breeze on her cheeks made it
impossible to dwell in the past. The contrition she sensed in Jack just
reaffirmed what she was coming to know of him. He was so much more than the boy
she remembered from so long ago. She was glad to be here with him right now.

She reached out and took his hand. He glanced over at her in
surprise and intertwined his fingers with hers.

“Nothing with you ever goes the way I think it will,” he
said.

“Good. I don’t like to be predictable,” she said. “I’m
beginning to believe you don’t, either.”

“Of course I don’t,” he said, pulling her out of the foot
traffic and into a little alcove that was tucked into the side of a building.
“Every time I get comfortable something happens to shake me up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that what you see as me always landing on my feet is my
having to figure out once again how to start over,” he said.

She tipped her head to the side to study him. Some snow had
fallen on his hair and it was tousled and wet but he still looked sexy and
confident. He didn’t seem to her like a man who’d started over from scratch.

“All of those experiences have made you the man you are today,”
she said. “You are so strong and capable. Now that I think about it, I probably
shouldn’t have worried about you in that shark attack. I should have known that
you’d come out of that safe.”

He shook his head. “Yeah, I always survive but there are scars,
Willow.”

“I know,” she said, reaching up to give him a one-armed hug.
“I’m sorry I’m being lighthearted after the toll those events have had on
you.”

“Do you see it?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. You’ve given me something to think about,
but I can’t let go of the past as easily as you do.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “I’ll keep apologizing even though I
know my words can’t heal the past.”

Yet a part of her felt as if he could with that attitude. He
had been wrong to just now show up, and she knew him well enough to know it had
been his bruised ego that had caused his actions. She couldn’t forgive him
easily, but she had a suspicion that eventually she would do so. She liked him.
Dammit, what was wrong with her? Why did Jack affect her heart this way?

“See, we are finding our way to each other,” she said. And for
a moment she felt a ray of hope. Like maybe this time she and Jack were on the
right track. But to what? She’d never imagined herself married and just because
her friends were all happily settled into monogamous relationships didn’t mean
she craved one, too. Besides this was Jack she was thinking about.

“Yes, we are. This part of the journey is turning into a very
interesting one,” he said.

“This part? Do you still think we’ll end up diverging at some
point?”

“I can’t see how we won’t. There isn’t one person in my life
who’s always stayed with me.”

“Your mom,” she said, stepping back from him.

They started walking again. The windows seemed magical all
decorated for fall. Some eager merchants had already put up holiday scenes and
she realized that she didn’t feel confident that she and Jack would still be
together then. Maybe this thing between them was just sex. Sex and closure from
the past for her.

“My mom died before I graduated college,” he said. “I’m not
whining. She gave me everything and I tried to make her life a little easier
before she died.”

“That’s true,” she said. Because what else could she say? She
just imagined Jack with a big extended family and lots of friends. She knew she
pictured him that way because it was the opposite of what she had. Her mom had
been an only child and when she’d died, Willow had been alone.

Totally alone except for Gail and Nichole, who were her soul
sisters. She didn’t know how she would have survived without those two.

“Surely you have some good friends from high school and
college,” she said.

“I know some people from back then, but they don’t get in touch
too often except to ask me to donate time or call someone famous and ask them to
do a charity gig. Do you ever have that?”

“No,” Willow said. “I didn’t keep in touch with anyone from
back home except for Gail and Nichole. Since my mom’s gone I don’t go back. I
don’t really miss Texas much. This is my home now.”

“I miss it sometimes,” he said. “But I don’t get back. I mean,
what’s the point of going back? I’m living a different life now. And so are you.
It’s funny to me that you were so fixated on the past when you really don’t want
to be back there.”

She realized that he was giving her a little too much credit.
She’d kept a list of anyone who ever did her wrong. It was just the way she’d
always been. She’d felt like she had a chip on her shoulder. “I wasn’t fixated
on the past, Jack. I wanted revenge.”

“Why? Given the girl you were I can’t imagine prom meant that
much to you,” he said.

There was a lot of truth to what he said but there was also the
universal realism that every girl wanted to have a handsome boy ask her to prom.
It didn’t matter what she told her friends. Willow had wanted to have that
fairy-tale dream come true on prom night. “I really liked you and you hurt me. I
wanted to hurt you like that,” she said.

“Bloodthirsty, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Yes, I am. I know you survive by moving on. I did it by
planning ways to get back at others.”

“I wasn’t the only one?” he asked.

“Well, you are the only one from Texas. I try not to make the
same mistakes over and over. But there was a producer who screwed me over when I
first got into the business.”

“What happened?”

“I got more successful than him. He asked me for a job last
year and I turned him down.”

“Willow.”

“I know, it wasn’t nice but he was a total jerk and fired me so
he could hire his girlfriend. I had to live with Gail for six months.”

“I’m sorry. Did you feel better after you did that?” he
asked.

“No. I felt bad. I mean, the economy is horrible now, and if he
hadn’t fired me I wouldn’t have started my own company, so he sort of did me a
favor.”

He shook his head. “What did you do?”

“I called a friend and they made him an offer. He doesn’t know
I had anything to do with it.”

She shouldn’t have shared that, she thought afterward but she
wanted Jack to know that even though she wanted to feel better about the people
who’d hurt her in the past she’d never been able to really hurt someone the way
she’d been hurt. She didn’t want anyone to ever feel as bad as she had. And as
he linked their hands together and continued walking she realized that was
especially true about him.

* * *

Jack had learned more than he’d expected from Willow on
this dinner date and as he stood next to her holding her hand, he wondered if
he’d made a huge mistake. But she was looking up at him like he was something
special and he felt bigger than he had before. He felt like for once he was the
good guy in the tale and not the sidekick.

His entire life he’d felt like the sidekick because he wasn’t
assured of a happy ending. Was this his chance? It wasn’t going to happen
tonight, he knew that.

“Want to come back to my place?” he asked. “You never did get
to see my bedroom.”

“I…I’m not really sure. I want to say yes but I feel too raw
right now. You’ve made me face things about myself I usually just ignore.”

“Sorry,” he said, but he wasn’t. She made him feel so
vulnerable that it was only fair he did the same to her. Ms. In Control finally
wasn’t and he couldn’t help but feel a little pleased with that.

“No, you’re not. You like it because now you have something to
hold over me,” she said.

He shook his head as he led her into a small coffee shop and
took a back-corner booth so they could have some privacy. She sat down on the
vinyl-covered banquette first and instead of sitting across from her, he slid in
beside her and put his arm around her shoulder.

“You’re crowding me.”

“Good. I want to crowd you and force you out of your comfort
zone because every second since I walked onto the set of
Sexy & Single
that’s what you’ve done to me. You think I’m
trying to one-up you when really all I’m trying to do is find a way to keep the
scales balanced.”

She swallowed and he watched the way she shrunk back into
herself. He knew he was hitting her too hard tonight but seeing how close PJ had
come to dying, knowing that his own track record meant that he might not get
everything he wanted with Willow—well, he just couldn’t afford to wait around
for her to start caring about him. He needed her to do that now.

“Why are you acting like this?”

“PJ almost died. He just got married, Willow. He just started a
life with the one person he wants to share it with and it was almost wiped out.
Do you know how many times I’ve had to start over alone?”

“At least once.”

“Four times,” he said.

“Okay. What does that have to do with me?” she asked. “I’m
doing my best to treat you like I would any other guy I’m dating.”

“I don’t want that. I want you to treat me like…well, like me.
So that I’m not one of many who could fit in your life but the only one who
can.”

“We’ve only been dating for a little more than a week,” she
said.

He understood what she was saying. In his rational mind he knew
she was right but for him this was more intense. For him life had a way of
boiling down to months instead of years and he wanted every second to count with
Willow.

“Whatever,” he said, sliding out of the booth and then sitting
down across from her on the other side of the table. “My bad. Let’s order some
coffee and then I’ll call the car to take you home. We have an early day
tomorrow, right?”

“Yes, and the next day. Tomorrow we’re at Pablo’s East for a
wine tasting and then the next day Peter and Deidre are doing a Toys for Tots
charity thing.”

“I don’t want to talk about work,” he said.

“Well, I’m in charge now, so we have to get these details out
of the way. Unless you want to talk about the future.”

“Hell,” he said. “There’s no give in you, is there, Willow?
It’s either work or me saying something I might regret, and I don’t want to do
that.”

She nodded. “Okay. Well, we’re doing the Toys for Tots thing at
the family-owned Box of Toys in the Hamptons. My friends…Nichole and Conner
invited me to join them for dinner when the shoot is over. Would you like to
come with me?”

Why should he? She was going to keep manipulating him—then he
realized she wasn’t trying to do anything to him. She was trying to protect
herself and he really couldn’t blame her for that since he was trying to do the
exact same thing. Maybe the dinner invitation was an olive branch.

“I’d love to. How are you getting down there?” he asked.

“Helicopter with Deidre and Peter. You are, too. Didn’t you
read the email I sent you?” she asked.

“I haven’t exactly had time today. I was kidnapped by a sexy
woman,” he said.

She ignored that. “I didn’t kidnap you. You know I talked to
Deidre before the last date and realized that no matter how wise she seems when
giving advice to others, she’s the same as you and I when it comes to being
confused in her own life.”

“What made you realize that?” he asked. He signaled the waiter
to bring them two coffees.

“She was afraid to have her heart broken,” Willow said, leaning
forward and looking him square in the eye. “Just like me. I’m not stringing you
along.”

“Yeah, I know that now. I’m a guy, though, and sometimes I just
lose my temper.”

“I don’t see what being a guy has to do with that. I lose my
temper all the time,” she said with that grin of hers that made him want to
kidnap her and keep her in his house safe and just for him.

“I bet you don’t lose your temper too often,” he said with a
sudden flash of insight where she was concerned. She was cool as a cucumber on
the outside because Willow didn’t like to let anyone know what was going on
inside.

“Why do you say that?” she asked.

He waited until the waiter had put down their coffees and then
left. Finding the real woman was way harder than he’d originally thought it
would be. “Because you like to be in charge.”

“That bothers you, doesn’t it?” she asked.

He didn’t want to admit it out loud but they both knew he liked
being the boss. He didn’t want a woman who was making him feel too much to have
any control over him. But the sad fact of the matter was that whether he
admitted it out loud or not, Willow was in the driver’s seat.

“Yes,” he said. “I like to call the shots. I was the
quarterback. I’m the host and producer of my own show. I’m the master of my own
destiny except where you are concerned.”

“Good. You are too big for your britches,” she said. “You need
someone to else to challenge you. If I didn’t, you’d already be bored and out
the door. On to the next partner in your journey.”

Her words struck him deep inside and he wondered if she wasn’t
right. He wanted to talk to her more about it, but he saw a group of teenagers
looking at him.

Damn.

They walked over to the table and stood there for a second. “So
are you Jack Crown?”

“Why, yes he is,” Willow said, arching both eyebrows at
him.

“Can we get your autograph?” one of them asked.

“And maybe a picture?” another asked.

“Dude, no one is going to believe this. I just saw that show
last night where you did a jump on that dirt bike and got some seriously crazy
air,” one kid said. “How’d you do that?”

Willow just sat back and seemed to sink into the background as
he signed autographs and posed for pictures. He felt her slipping further away
from him and he wished he knew what to do to stop it. Had he been pushing
everyone away because they acquiesced too easily? Did he want Willow because she
wasn’t like that? He’d have to think about it later but he doubted that anything
was going to make sense to him tonight. Willow had once again shown him a new
side not only to herself but also to him.