Cameron's Control (Novella #1): The Enthrall Sessions (Volume 4) (19 page)

“Why, yes. You run two or three miles every morning,” she said.

Make that six to ten, depending.

“You attend clinic in the morning,” she said. “Then afterwards you visit your private men’s club.”

Chrysalis. The place Laura didn’t know existed.

She gave a nod of confirmation. “While at the club, you play a round of tennis and share drinks with your friends.”

More accurately, while at Chrysalis I check in with the doms and their subs and then visit the stables, where young men with pony fetishes role play with tails inserted in their asses and hour long erections. Men who’d be otherwise condemned by society, and the only way they function at an optimum level in life is to fulfill their penchant in a safe and nurturing environment, with Dominic as their stable master.

Laura pulled her legs out from under her and sat squarely facing me. “And then you go home to that big house of yours and have wild, unadulterated sex with some young woman you’ve seduced. A woman who probably won’t hear from you again after you’ve turned her life upside down.”

Before Mia, I’d wandered my Beverly Hills mansion alone, the only respite those cherished fencing sessions with Shay. Or delving into my beloved books in my library in an effort to hold back the loneliness.

“God you’re good, Laura.”

“Cam, I need you to respect my judgment call on this one, okay?”

Fuck.

“We’ll get this out of the way and you can both move on. She can move on.”

I glanced at my watch. Mia would be here soon and I hated the idea she might bump into Zie.

“Push your plans, Cameron,” she said. “We only need an hour. Then it’s over.”

“And Zie will leave me alone?”

“Yes, I believe this will go a long way to making that happen.”

I relented with a nod.

“Well done,” she said.

Tugging on my shirt cuffs one at a time, I ran through all the ways I could have handled this better, like questioning Laura on why she’d refurnished her office in this European flair, or where she’d purchased that print by Lilly Drey, the artist having a knack for capturing the curves of voluptuous women.

This wasn’t Laura’s style.

And I’d not seen her wear that shade of lipstick before.

“How long have you been seeing this guy?” I asked.

She waved it off. “Oh, and if you feel the need for Mia to have any more sessions with a therapist, my door’s always open. As Mia’s fiancé, you can’t treat her. As you well know.”

“We’re not engaged,” I said. “A misunderstanding. I’ve clarified our position with my family. We’ll make a public announcement once everything has settled down.”

“Settled down?”

“The psychiatric board’s trial is behind us. Yes, the case is closed, but there’s formalities. Legal fine tuning.”

“I’m curious,” she said. “How would you define your relationship with Mia?”  

“Private.”

“Do you ever see yourself marrying her?”  

“Mia’s remarkable.”

“You didn’t answer my question, Cam.”

“She’s a breath of fresh air.”

“Perhaps it would be unwise to leave another woman decimated in your wake,” she said flatly, slicing through my dignity with the shrewdness of a well-practiced bitch.

I had the perspicuous skills to perform the fencing equivalent of an Attaque au Fer and take Laura so far down the path of self-hate she’d not recover.

I felt merciful and offered a polite smile.

“You once told me McKenzie was the closest you’d ever come to getting hitched.” She lowered her gaze. “Zie is very compelling.”

“Yes, she is.”

“A brilliant mind and body to die for,” she said. “Most men wouldn’t have let her go so easily.”

“And your point?”

“You loved her so much you didn’t believe you were worthy of such an incredible woman.”

“Oh, I’m worthy.”

Laura looked offended.

“Ever consider I’m protecting Zie from you?” I said. “After all, we spent a great deal of time together and we shared a rare intimacy.” I broke Laura’s gaze as a memory flashed into focus.

Regret swept over me like a dark cloud of guilt. I’d not handled Zie’s predilections well. I should’ve pulled her back from the brink before she’d indulged her darkest desires. Zie’s insatiable need to push herself into the very center of debauchery fractured everything we’d built. She’d turned something beautiful,
us
, into a sordid mess, leaving me with nothing but the memory of never being enough.

“Any change of heart in your future?” asked Laura.  

“With Zie?” I resisted scoffing.

Laura shifted uncomfortably. A small blush colored her cheeks.

I ran through my words to see what had rattled Laura. My gaze settled on her trash can beneath her desk and I ruminated on why my subconscious was leading me to look at it.

The phone rang in my office.

“We were talking about marriage?” said Laura.

“Love can’t be defined by a legal document—”

“We humans are so infallible,” she said.

My iPhone buzzed and I glanced at a text from Shay:
Fencing still on?

Shay couldn’t go more than five days without challenging me. And challenge me he did. His deftness with a blade was unsurpassed. Agreeing to another match was my way of maintaining his pride because I ruled him in every other way.

Seven
I texted back.

“Everything okay, Cameron?”

I tucked my phone back into my pocket. “Yes.”

“We were discussing how contracts are inevitably breeched,” Laura said.

“And who wants to keep a vow that states for better or for worse?” I said. “Who settles for fucking worse?”

Mia stood in the doorway.

She raised the paper bag she was holding. “I brought you a pastry from Charlie’s,” she said meekly. “And one for you too, Dr. Laura.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Mia,” said Laura, hiding her cringe.

Mia’s uncertain gaze found me again.

CHAPTER 18

MIA’S FINGERS SCRUNCHED the paper bag.

Other than that, her face returned to calm.

I rose to my feet and said, “Mia, let’s go to my office.”

With a quick nod to Laura to let her know she’d done enough damage for today, I took Mia’s hand in mine and led her into my office.

I shut the door and locked it.

Mia placed the paper bag on my desk and gracefully strolled over to the window. The way her blue eyes caught mine reflected forgiveness even in the wake of cruelty. Yes, she was strong, but vulnerable too, and this made me feel like I’d captured a rare creature.

And just hurt her.

“Mia,” I whispered.

Her silhouette caught the morning light streaming in and sunshine shimmered off wisps of her golden locks. She appeared ethereal. Her petite frame hid the fact she could be feisty, and the passion burning within her would floor any man. She was so damn beautiful and each time I saw her again I was stunned by how dazzling she was.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Mia, you heard part of a conversation—”

She spun round. “I’m only twenty-one. Who says I want to get married yet anyway?”

A wave of concern hit me when I realized she wasn’t wearing her collar.

“Mia, let me explain—”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine.” I moved toward her. “What you heard was out of context.”

She cupped my face with her hands. “If all I had was today to love you, it would be more than most women have in a lifetime. You’ve given me so much, Cameron. Shown me so much. I don’t regret one second of it, and if you and I ever became more it wouldn’t be something I’d take for granted. It would be a miracle that we found each other and that we’re so perfect for each other.”

She melted against my chest and I hugged her, closing my eyes, drawn into this moment, soothed by her gentleness. I breathed in her delicate perfume.

A spellbinding scent that both comforted and fired my senses.

Pure Mia.

“Are you doing okay?” she whispered, her expression full of concern.

I relented with a nod. “Laura pushed a few buttons and I failed to subdue my response.”

“You sit there and I’ll sit here.” She sat in my therapist’s chair, gesturing to the large black wooden carved leather seat opposite. The chair reserved for clients.

I folded my arms and stared at her.

“We’ll talk,” she said. “You can tell me what’s upset you. Go on, sit.”

“Up.” I grabbed her hand. “Sit here.”

We made our way over to the large sofa and she kicked off her shoes.

I sat beside her. “Where’s your collar?”

Her fingers traced her throat. “Didn’t want to wear it to Charlie’s,” she said. “Didn’t seem right.”

Brushing a stray hair out of her face, I marveled at her thoughtfulness. Her gaze was kind and understanding—blue irises overshadowed by revealing dilated pupils.

A stab of doubt.

I always saw too much.

“What buttons did Dr. Laura push?” she asked.

I began cautiously. “Laura believes it will be good for McKenzie if we have a session together.”

“You and McKenzie?”

“Laura will be present.”

Mia looked thoughtful. “Sounds a little awkward.”

“Yes, well there were two options on the table. This or the other one, which is to gouge my eyes out with a burning hot spoon. Right now it’s the front runner.”

She smiled. “Why?”

“Zie feels ready to face her demons and apparently I’m one of them.” I shrugged. “Laura has assessed her case and believes this will provide closure for her client.”

“Thought you didn’t believe in closure?”

“No, but I do believe in at least finding some solution to pain. There’s guilt on my part. And Zie needs to be handled.”

“You have my support. Whatever you believe is best.”

I took her hand in mine. “Mia, I want you to know there’s no residual feelings for Zie.” She went to speak and I rested my fingertips on her lips. “I love you, and what is testament to how wonderful we are is us sitting here and talking calmly.”

“Yes, I do love how easy you are to talk to.” She rummaged in her handbag. “And I suppose now’s a good a time as any. I made a few amendments.” She handed me the folded up piece of paper.

I unraveled it and stared down at the non-disclosure agreement Dominic had emailed to Mia.

This very document had been provided to all previous girlfriends and contained the legalese ensuring that should we ever end our relationship, my personal life would remain so and not find its way in a tabloid or worse still on some TV expose. The settlement provided after the dissolution of a relationship was overly generous, or so Dominic had told me. A formality I didn’t deal with.

Mia had scribbled on the form.

“I don’t want your money.” She pointed. “I signed it, scanned it, and emailed it back to Dominic. He told me I have to talk to you about the pay off.”

“Pay out, Mia, not payoff. It’s to compensate you.”

“I don’t want your money, Cameron. I’ve told you that. In fact that was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

I raised my gaze to meet hers. “Go on.”

“I want to keep working at Enthrall.”

I sat back, feeling as though the air had been sucked out of me. With her out of my sight, I couldn’t watch over her. She’d be vulnerable.  

“With Richard as your boss?” I said.

“Of course.”

“Out of the question.”

“Well I can’t work at Chrysalis,” she said. “I can’t date my boss again. It put everyone in an awkward position.”

Yes, well there were mitigating circumstances, including and not limited to using Mia to trap my best friend into a relationship. Richard could ignore the girls at the high-end bars but he’d have been hard pushed to ignore the innocent attending to his every need as his secretary. And those FMB’s Mia had unwittingly worn provided a splash of genius.

Jealousy swept over me that Richard had ever touched her.

“As the director, I decide on which employees work where.” I rose and moved over to my desk. “I profile and ascertain who is the best fit and where.”

Mia realized I was serious. She pushed to her feet. “I need to make a living, Cameron.”

I shook the mouse to awaken my computer and searched my files.

“You were just saying how wonderful it is we can talk?” She moved over to me. “I need to be independent.”

“No, you think that, but in reality life will be much easier for you if you let me take care of everything.”

“Are you saying I can’t work?”

I caressed my brow. “We had this conversation, remember? In London.”

Confusion marred her face.

I turned toward her. “I warned you that should you become mine the experience would be one of intense ownership. That I would possess you beyond all understanding.”

Mia gazed up at me.

“I distinctly recall telling you I’d
overpower every aspect of your life. Completely dominate you
, and while I was at it I’d most likely fuck you half to death.”
I smirked.
 

Her eyelids fluttered as she teetered toward subspace.

She broke from it and whispered, “What about what I want?”

“Mia, you are not my prisoner.” I gestured to the door. “I won’t prevent you from doing what makes you happy.”

“Unless it’s where I work.”

“For now, yes.”

I wanted to tell her I had to keep her safe and my possessiveness was about protecting her. Not wanting to scare Mia, I turned away and opened a file. I needed the distraction for this conversation to end.

“Don’t go cold on me,” she said.

“I’m not, sweetheart.” I pulled her into my chest and hugged her.

“I feel safe with you.” She wrapped her arms around my waist. “I don’t want to leave you.”

 “You’re been transferred over to Chrysalis,” I said. “You’re my executive assistant now.”

Mia’s demeanor shifted and she stepped back. “What about Enthrall?”

I lifted the receiver and speed dialed Richard’s office.

“Booth,” answered Richard sharply.