Camp Forget-Me-Not (10 page)

I stood and clutched my stomach. “I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll head back.”

“Not alone you’re not.” Nick rose beside me and put a firm hand on my shoulder.

Brooke glared at Nick, then me. “You would rather hang out with Hannah and play Dungeons & Dragons than Spin the Flashlight? Seriously? Maybe Nick is right. You are a loser.”

Nick opened his mouth and met my horrified glance, his expression as shocked as I felt. He shook his head at me, but before he could speak, Brooke shoved him into the darkened refrigerator and bolted it shut. Not that I wanted to hear his phony denials. I blinked back the rush of tears. Nick was right. I was a loser and no amount of matching Diva warm-up jackets, lip gloss, and popular boyfriends could change the truth about me.

I turned to go, but a hand tugged me back. “Stay, Kayla. We want you.” Rachel pointed at Brooke. “And that was way harsh, new girl. Apologize.”

The muffled sounds of Nick thumping against the refrigerator door filled the room. How long could he stay in there?

Brooke shrugged, flicked on the flashlight, and put it in the middle of the circle before nudging in next to me. “Sorry, Kayla. Those were his words, not mine…if it makes you feel better.”

It didn’t. I pressed trembling lips together and moved closer to Rachel. I needed friends.

“I’ll spin first.” Brooke beamed the light in her direction for aim, then spun it. We held our breath as it twirled once around, twice, then slowed, wobbled, and inched directly at me. It seemed to be happening in slow motion as my mind repeated,
Nooooooo
. I couldn’t end up in that refrigerator with Nick, especially since I’d never written him back, didn’t have a clue where we stood, and he’d called me a loser.

Brooke must have had the same idea because she shoved me hard to the left as the flashlight slowed to a near halt. I shut my eyes in relief. For once, Brooke’s selfishness paid off—

“Kaaaaaaaylaaaaaa!” Brittany exclaimed. “Guess who’s spending seven minutes in heaven?”

I eased open my lids, heart in my throat, blinded by the flashlight. Oh. My. God. How could that thing still be pointing at me?

“Can I let Brooke do it instead?” I smiled hopefully at the Dictator Diva, but she just glared at me.

Brittany dragged me to the refrigerator door. “Nope. Rules are rules.” She leaned in close and whispered in my ear. “Plus if Brooke went in there they’d never come out—end of game.” She pulled open the door and shoved me inside. “Ta-ta!”

The door slammed behind me, followed by a loud click.

“Who’s there?” a voice rumbled in the velvety dark.

Goosebumps rose on my arm. My heart beat so loudly I imagined Nick could hear it, too. Maybe if I waited out the seven minutes in silence, I’d escape whatever torment he’d inflict.

Loser
. The taunt hurt.

“It’s you, isn’t it?” he asked. Suddenly his breath whispered against my ear and his hand ran through my hair.

I opened my mouth to object. Tell him that it was me and not Brooke.

But his lips brushed mine in the dark, a soft, delicious pull I felt to my toes. He pressed against me, backing me up until the steel shelves pushed against my spine. His fingertips traced my jaw, my ear, my neck as his kiss grew firmer. A rush of heat started in my chest and spread slowly through my body, reaching every last limb. For a moment, I forgot what had happened between us and imagined we were back by Crystal Falls, that I hadn’t stopped him when he’d leaned close. This time, my hands ran along the curve of his back and the swell of muscles under the short sleeves of his T-shirt.

He cupped my face and kissed me so deep I thought I’d pass out. Nick. Happiness exploded inside, his touch igniting a firestorm of emotion. For just a few more minutes, I could pretend that he had forgiven me and we were together at last. Three years of waiting, longing, wishing, regretting—over. I smiled even though I knew it was just a fantasy, and his lips nipped the corners of my curving mouth.

Did he know it was me? My God, didn’t he
have
to know it was me?

His lean stomach contracted when my palm pressed against its ridges. Our synchronized breaths sounded in the cramped space. In an instant, we went from tender to passionate, our hands and lips everywhere at once. My head buzzed, and I felt the heat of him through his thin shirt, smelled his musk and spice scent. Firm hands spanned my waist, and I shivered against him.

“I don’t care if it isn’t seven minutes,” a nasal-pitched voice sounded. “This game is done!”

It took a moment to process, blinking in the sudden flood of light, that Nick had slid away. He’d left me where I stood, my lips still puckered, as laughter broke over me. I hung my head in the humiliating spotlight of someone’s Eveready. Fool me once—I glared up at a speechless Nick—shame on you. Fool me twice—my arms crossed and my fingernails dug into my elbows— shame on me.

“Wait.” Brooke strode into the chilled space and looked between Nick and me. “Were you two hooking up?”

Nick shot me a warning glance over Brooke’s head. “No. I knew it was Kayla when she came in.”

His eyes held mine for a long moment. Was he protecting me by not admitting we’d been kissing? God knows Nick understood better than anyone how much I hated the spotlight. Then again, what if he was just lying to keep Brooke happy? My heart argued for the former, while my head warned me to be careful of the latter.

For now, Nick let Brooke take his hand and lead him away after a final glance at me over his shoulder.

Alone, I caught my reflection in the unopened side of the double, stainless steel doors. I looked as awful as I felt. My tangled hair hung around my splotchy face, my eyes wide and red, making me realize Nick must have regretted kissing me once the lights came on.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the biggest fool of all? I brushed away angry tears with my fists.

Me. Myself. And I.

Chapter Five

THREE YEARS AGO

“Kayla West as a Diva?” Nick smiled at me early that afternoon when I finished telling him my news.

I’d left my bags with my old counselor since I wasn’t ready to commit to any cabin yet. Then I ran up to the lacrosse fields where they were having some games and a picnic for parents who wanted to stick around while their kids settled into camp. It was a super-easy day to slip away and meet Nick at our spot at Crystal Falls. Things didn’t really get organized around here until after dinner and all the parents left.

“I know. I can’t picture it either.” I shook my head, embarrassed, and stared down at a frog sunning himself on a moss-covered rock near my toe.

“I can,” he said right away, reaching over to squeeze my hand as we sat on the same log we’d visited plenty of times last summer.

My heartbeat sort of hiccupped. No, jolted. I turned to look at him, but he released my hand in a hurry. His dark hair slid over one hazel eye.

“I’m not like them,” I protested, hating what Brittany had said about Nick. That I could get in their cabin if I “lose the geekster accessory.” She’d seemed nice up until then.

“They want all the prettiest girls in their cabin,” Nick explained, suddenly more interested in picking at a bit of dead bark on the log in between us than looking at me.

I stayed silent for a long moment, trying to figure out what he meant while our legs swung side by side over the waterfall below.

“Right. So why ask me?”

He stopped picking at the bark.

“Oh, God.” I got a sick feeling in my stomach when he didn’t say anything right away. “It’s some kind of prank, isn’t it?”

Maybe they would do worse than throw popcorn at me…

“Kay.” Nick sighed and waved away a mosquito that was buzzing around my nose. “Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

Hadn’t I gotten rid of the love handles? My hands went to that spot just above my hips to check.

“I don’t know. I—”

“Newsflash, Kayla. You turned…” His eyes travelled along my face and down.

But just for a second. He seemed to catch himself, and his face turned red.

“Crap.” He scooted away from me a little. “You’ve always been, like…really pretty to me. But now you’re pretty in a way that other people see, too.”

My cheeks burned like I’d been in the sun too long. I should feel happy, right? But Nick didn’t look happy. And I couldn’t shake the sense of worry that nothing was going to be the same this year.

“That’s crazy.” I leaned down to dip my hand in water rushing over the falls. When my fingers were nice and cool, I brought them up to my neck to chase away the heat in my face.

“No, it isn’t.” He stared off into the woods, and neither of us spoke again for a minute until he said, “I could have joined a cool group this year, too.”

“Really?” I tried to forget about what he’d said about me being pretty, but I still had the urge to fan my face. Well, also, I wished he’d say it again so I could pay attention more.

“Yeah. Remember how I told you I worked out with my brother?” Gently, he nudged the back of my tennis shoe with the toe of his flip-flop.

“Sure.” I wound my leg behind his so I could return the favor. His calf was hairier than I remembered. And stronger, like the rest of him.

“Part of the reason I was doing it was to help my snowboarding.”

“Snowboarding?” I remembered vaguely he liked to do that in the winter. His parents lived in Colorado near the big mountains, and there was even a bus that went to one of the major ski resorts on the weekends.

“I got a lot better at it this year. And this kid who showed me some moves on the half-pipe—”

“The what?” I’d moved closer to him to play footsie, and now, when I looked up at him, it seemed weird to be so close our knees touched.

“It’s like a curved ramp that helps you do tricks.” He outlined it with his hands so I could picture it.

He smelled good.

“Oh.” I liked listening to Nick, and I’d missed him. Missed this. I wished we could stay up here all day.

“Anyway, this guy who worked with me on the half-pipe invited me to the tryouts for this national team— like a rookie team—in New Zealand this summer.”

I blinked my way past the happy fog of sitting kneeto-knee with my BFF who I was sort of crushing on. I tried to focus on what he’d said. New Zealand?

“What do you mean? A rookie team?” It was like he was talking some other language.

“It’s crazy, but I guess this guy—the coach my friend works with—he wanted me to be on this rookie team for the U.S. Snowboarding Team. Sort of like training for the Olympics.”

“And they train in New Zealand.” I was putting pieces together, and while it sounded really exciting for Nick, I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t joined this team thing.

“In the summers, yeah. They have a lot of snow in July and August.”

“So why aren’t you there?” I knew what his family was like and how little attention they paid to Nick. “If your parents send your brother all over the country for baseball as a teenager, it’s only fair for them to let you—”

“My parents would have let me go.” He shook his head and frowned. “They would have been just as glad to pawn me off on that snowboarding coach for the whole year.”

“So why—”

“Because of you, Kayla.” Nick took my hand. His leg wound around mine where we’d been swinging our feet over the water. “I said I’d be here for you and I am.”

My heart squeezed tight. My thoughts jumbled up.

His thumb stroked over the back of my hand. Once. Twice.

Then, his other hand lifted to my cheek and held it. I closed my eyes and leaned into that touch. All my dreams were coming true with Nick, except that suddenly I knew they couldn’t last. As much as I wanted to kiss him, I knew that I had to do what was right and let him go.

Nick.

I liked him so much. Loved him, even, which was why I knew I couldn’t let him stay at camp this summer. He couldn’t give up the chance to join an Olympic-bound sports team—to possibly win medals and achieve the success and attention only his brother got—for me. He might think he wanted to be with me, but someday he’d regret not taking this opportunity. Maybe he’d even be mad that he’d missed out and blame me.

He deserved every good thing coming his way. Only it wouldn’t be me. But if I let him know the truth, that I was sacrificing for him to go, he’d only argue and insist. I knew this stubborn friend of mine. No. I had to tell him something so convincing he’d not only believe it, but would hate me enough to go.