Can't Get Over You (Fortune's Island, Book 2) (22 page)

Men. Right now, she didn’t want to deal with either one of them. So she parked her car, grabbed her guitar and her music, and climbed up into her private space. The water lapped at the rocks below, and the seagulls called to each other, while Jillian picked out a few chords.

At first, she just noodled around on the instrument, playing different snippets of songs she knew. Then, as she began to settle into the guitar, and the music began to flow through her, she started working out a new melody.

It was a little melancholy, a little haunting. Her thoughts began to tumble out as she played, forming one word after another into a bit of a song. Like the others she had written and played, these were all about the turmoil in her own mind, those private thoughts that she played to the ocean and no one else.

“Whichever way I turn, there are questions. Answers elude me, like chasing the wind.” She closed her eyes, hummed a little through the bridge, then sang again. “Look out over the water, look for the direction to go, see nothing but blue, blue, blue.”

The sound of clapping, then, “Bravo.”

Jillian jerked herself up, opened her eyes. Ethan was crouched beneath the rocky shelf, a smile on his face. Her heart hammered in her chest, then began to slow. “Ethan! What are you doing here? You scared me.”

“Sorry.” He thumbed behind him. “I saw your car on the side of the road and wanted to make sure you were okay. You said your car wasn’t running right, and I wasn’t sure if it broke down again.”

“No, no. I just…” She clutched the guitar tighter. Damn it. She hadn’t wanted him to know about her music. “Needed to get away. Anyway, I was just playing around. I should get to work.”

She started to reach for her notebook, but Ethan put a hand on top of hers. “You have a beautiful voice.”

Heat stole into Jillian’s cheeks. “Thank you.”

“How long have you been singing?”

“A…a few years.” She slid the guitar strap off her neck and slipped the pick into her pocket. “Listen, it’s just a hobby. I don’t want a career or anything. I do it to relieve stress. That’s all.”

“You should really think about singing professionally,” he said. “You’re talented, Jillian, and I can say that because it’s my job to tell people the truth about their music.”

His words warmed and surprised her. All these years, she’d kept her music to herself. Singing only to her mirror and the gulls. But here was this guy, a guy who had heard hundreds of singers over the years, telling her she had talent. She looked at his eyes, and saw nothing but honesty there. No hidden agenda to get her into bed or stroke her ego. “You really think I can sing?”

“Definitely. You have a…haunting voice.” Ethan settled onto the rock beside her. “If I was going to write a review, I would say something poetic, like…your lyrics curl under the notes like a cat easing into a nap. They linger in the air, echoing in your heart long after the song ends.”

Her face heated even more, and she wanted both to run away from the praise and hear him say it again. “You’re not just saying that, are you?”

“If there’s one thing I take seriously, it’s music.” His gaze met hers, direct and clear. “I would never offer praise if it wasn’t warranted.”

“Well, thank you. Like I said, it’s just a hobby and…”

“And why don’t you consider making it a profession?”

She had. A thousand times. It was why she was in college. Why she kept writing music that she was too afraid to perform in public. She kept dreaming—but then let her fears keep her
from making those dreams a reality. “Oh, no, I couldn’t. That’s Zach’s thing. I just like music. I don’t want to do it for a job or anything.”

“Then why are you going to the Conservatory?” He nodded toward the notebook beside her on the rock. “They only give those out to students, last I remember.”

“I thought maybe I’d work in music someday. Maybe.”

“You’re scared, aren’t you?”

“Me? Of course not.”
Liar, liar.

“Then perform tonight. Let me see you on the stage.”

“What? At The Love Shack?” She shook her head. “No. I couldn’t do that. No way.”

“Why not? You’d be amazing, and I’m sure everyone would love to hear you.”

“I just…don’t do that.” She grabbed her notebook and stuffed it in her bag, then got to her feet. “I really should go to work.”

He rose and put a hand on her arm. When Ethan touched her, it was a warm, comfortable feeling, not like the crazy zing of hormones that ran through her every time Zach did the same. She told herself that was what she wanted: a sensible, practical relationship, not one that turned her heart inside out. “Think about it, Jillian. You have a gift, and you shouldn’t waste it.”

“It’s just a hobby,” she said again. Maybe if she said it enough, she’d believe it, and stop feeling this little thrill at Ethan’s praise.

“It’s a hobby that can be more, if you give it time and attention.” He shifted into place before her, settling his hands on her waist. “Sort of like us.”

What had she just been thinking? That she wanted more of what she had with Ethan, and here he was, offering that. Her heart stuttered and her stomach churned. Did she really want more of this…nice? More of sensible and practical?

“You’re going back to LA,” she said. “This is just a…” She shrugged.

“Fling?” Ethan shook his head. “I don’t want that. I like you, Jillian. Really like you. I want…more.”

“We live on opposite coasts, Ethan. It’s crazy to think that we could—”

“What if I offered you a record contract? That would give you an excuse to come out to LA.” He grinned.

A record contract? That was more than she could imagine, more than she could wrap her head around. Then she thought about his words, about the reason why he was offering her the deal. “I don’t want a contract because you want me to be your girlfriend. If I decide to take my music public, I want it to be because I’m talented. And no other reason.”

“You are talented. I don’t just hand out contracts to women I want to date, Jillian.” He cupped her jaw and leaned in to brush a kiss against her lips. Another nice kiss, that did nothing to light her up the way Zach’s kisses did. “Think about it. I have to fly out tonight, to go see another artist in New York. But I’ll be back Saturday night. Let’s go out to dinner and talk.”

“Okay. It’s a deal.”

He kissed her again. “I’ll see you then. Bye, Jillian.”

Then Ethan was gone. And a feeling a whole lot like relief flooded Jillian. She packed up her guitar, headed down the path and went to work. If she thought she had a lot on her mind earlier, Ethan’s offer had just quadrupled that.

# # #

CLOSED FOR SPECIAL EVENT.

The handwritten sign on the front of The Love Shack was decorated with little red hearts and a spattering of smiley faces. Zach recognized Jillian’s handwriting, and had no doubt she’d been the one to add the romantic layers to the simple sign on the door.

Special event—meaning Darcy and Kincaid’s wedding. When Zach had RSVP’d, he’d done it as a single attendee—because he and Jillian were already broken up then, and he couldn’t imagine taking a date. Now he had to face the very real possibility that Jillian was here with the plus-one of that new man in her life.

Yeah, that was going to suck.

How the hell was Zach supposed to stand on that stage and sing love songs, all while watching Jillian dance with someone else? Seeing her a handful of times with the other guy had been harder than hell. And now, after making love to Jillian, Zach knew for sure that he didn’t want to move forward without her.

The problem was getting Jillian to believe he was serious.

“Hey, man, let’s get set up,” Duff said, drawing Zach’s attention back to the band, waiting beside the van with the equipment. AJ and Ian each had part of the drum set, and were heading inside. “We only have an hour before the wedding party will be here.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right.” Zach took the other end of the amp and helped Duff carry it in and up to the stage. They repeated the same process as they did all the other nights they performed at The Love Shack, a well orchestrated waltz of equipment and men. The only difference—and their concession to the wedding—was their attire. The members of The Outsiders had all opted for khaki pants and pale blue button-down shirts. Nothing too fancy, but not their usual just-rolled-out-of-bed-after-a-night-of-partying look. If they weren’t well past the high school years, they could have almost been mistaken for a boy band. Almost.

“Hey, now that we’re set up,” Ian said, “we’re going to grab a soda. You guys want anything?”

Duff and Zach shook their heads. “Nah, we’re good.”

Ian and AJ ambled off in the direction of the bar. All around them, The Love Shack was a busy hive of activity. Temporary wait staff had been brought in to serve guests, so that neither Jillian nor Carter had to work, and they were hustling from table to table, adding cloth tablecloths and centerpiece floral arrangements in mason jars. The scent of fresh-baked bread came from the kitchen, something that would be complimented by the seafood dinner planned for the menu. Extra Christmas lights had been strung inside and out of The Love Shack, adding a little more romance. Darcy and Kincaid were getting married on the beach at sunset, then bringing the party inside for the rest of the night. The weather was perfect—warm but clear, without a hint of a cloud in the sky.

It was the kind of wedding Jillian had talked about having. Zach had always half listened, thinking there would be time—

Yeah, well, that time had come and gone and he’d blown it. He should have listened more. Should have done a thousand other things.

The night they had made love, he could have sworn he read love in her eyes, in her touch. If there was a chance any of those feelings were still there, and they could get past this thing about his brother—find a way to connect again, rebuild the ground they had lost—then Zach would go through fire to make Jillian happy again. But if he was just reading what he wanted to—because he was too afraid to face the truth that it was over—then it was better to walk away now. Even if the thought of that made him want to rip his heart in two.

Duff and Zach took a seat on the edge of the stage. “How did you know Lori was the one?” Zach asked.

Duff grinned. “That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?”

“I just…I want to be sure that I’m doing the right thing.” That he wasn’t seeing love in Jillian’s eyes because he was too afraid to move on without her. They had dated for eight years—maybe part of him wanted her back because he simply couldn’t remember a life that didn’t have her in it.

“Going after Jillian again?”

Zach nodded. “I mean, maybe I’m just trying to hold onto something that’s already gone. She’s barely returning my texts and hasn’t talked to me in days. I thought we were starting over, but…”

“But she got scared and backed off. You probably slept together, right? And that scared her to pieces.” Duff arched a brow at Zach’s nod. “I’m no expert on women, and I’m probably talking out of my hat here, but I know Lori did the same thing to me just before we got married.”

“She did?” Of all the couples Zach knew, Lori and Duff were two who seemed like they’d always been head over heels for each other. If they’d had moments of doubt, it had never shown to anyone else.

“Yeah. She wasn’t so sure she wanted to marry a musician, even if she did think I was hot as hell…” Duff grinned at Zach. “Sound familiar?”

“Like a broken record.” He laughed. “I can’t blame either Lori or Jillian, though. We barely make enough money to feed ourselves, never mind a family.”

“That’s why this audition on Sunday has to work out.” Duff let out a heavy sigh. “I’m running out of options. Once the baby comes…”

“I get it. You need to provide for your family.” Was this what his father had felt when his mother got pregnant with Keith? That ticking clock, that heavy mantle of impending responsibility? Zach could see how that would drive a man to put his guitar in the corner and take a job he hated.

Zach didn’t want to do that, but then he looked at Duff, at the way Duff talked about Lori and the baby on the way, and realized that sometimes, sacrifice was worth everything. Duff was totally, completely in love with Lori. He was as excited as a kid at Christmas about the baby they were having together. And as much as he loved his music—

He loved his family more.

“So if you ask me,” Duff went on, “you know she’s the one when she’s more important than anything else in your life. When you’d rather spend a year without your guitar than a single minute without her.”

Zach gave Duff a gentle slug. “Careful. You’re sounding like a romance novel.”

Duff chuckled. “Maybe I should be the one writing songs. Though, I think I’m getting sappy because of the baby. Maybe Lori’s hormones are rubbing off on me.”

“Definitely. But in a good way,” Zach said. “Thanks, buddy.”

“You’re welcome.” Duff got to his feet, then turned back. “For what it’s worth, I think she’s still totally in love with you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Have you ever noticed the way she looks at you? I have and it’s pretty damned clear, even if she won’t admit it to herself or to you.” Duff grinned. “That is a woman in love.”

She might look like a woman in love, but as far as Zach could tell, Jillian wasn’t acting like a woman in love. “I don’t know…”

“See for yourself, Zach.” Duff pointed across the room. Jillian was standing by the florist, talking to the other woman as she filled the rest of the mason jars. Jillian turned and caught Duff and Zach looking her way, and she smiled, one of those dazzling smiles that made Zach’s heart leap. Woman in love?

He sure as hell hoped so.

Zach scrambled to his feet and crossed to her. She was wearing an old button-down shirt and a pair of denim shorts, both stained with paint from a late summer evening two years ago when they’d painted her apartment. He remembered how much they had laughed, and how they had ended up with paint on their skin, in their hair, and later, on the sheets. They’d made love twice, then gotten up at three in the morning to finish the walls. Every time he looked at the pale blue color in her bedroom, he thought of that night.