Capital Sins (21 page)

Through her
shrieks, which to him sounded almost insane, she managed to gasp out, 'I'm
having children. Do you understand?
Children!'

'I don't
... ' he faltered, face blank.

She leant
against the edge of the table and threw back her head.

'My God, what a man that Jap was!
Who'd have believed it... do you know what
he's gone and done, eh?'

Jessop
could only stare at her in bewilderment.

'He's only
given me two of the bastards!' Her voice rose in pitch. 'Bloody twin bastards,
isn't that a joke?
Twins!'

'Constance!'
His stern voice broke through her hysteria. 'Control yourself! You'll have
everyone in the building listening, wondering what all the commotion's about!'

She
flounced away from him as be advanced towards her with outstretched arms.

'Don't want
to sit down! Don't want to do anything. Yes, yes I do!' Her eyes glittered
strangely and looking at her then, Jessop felt panic rise. 'I want to kill
myself! I don't want Alan's babies!'

She made a
move towards the large window and Jessop, seeing her intention, lunged
forwards. She wriggled madly as his arms encircled her.

'Let me
go!'
she
said breathlessly. 'Let me
die!'

'Constance,
stop it!'

'Leave me
a-lone.
'
She tried to bite his hand.

'Not until
you've calmed down!' He held her struggling body firmly.

'This has
got nothing to do with you!' She glared up at him, hair tumbling around her
face.

'Then I'll
make it have something to do with me!'

She stopped
threshing suddenly as the fight went out of her. And then her face was against
his chest and his arms were gentle around her. Her tears were making his shirt
front damp, but he didn't move or say anything, just stroked her long hair and
made hushing sounds, as if to a child. In a little while, Connie was herself
again, and she made to move out from the circle of his arms,
then
looked up at him
wanderingly
when they remained about
her.

'I'm OK
now,' she said, breath coming in short, jerky gasps as the shock of what she
had been about to do came to her.

'Yes.'

'You can
let me go now, then.' She even smiled.

His hands
dropped. 'Please, sit down,
Constance,
I want to talk
to you.'

When he
went over to the couch, she had no choice but to follow. She sat, crossed her
long legs, looking at him curiously.

'What is
it, Mr Jessop?'

He smiled.
'I think we know each other well enough by now for you to call me by my first
name.'

'All right.
What did you want to speak to me about, Samuel?'

'Were you
really going to chuck yourself from the window just now?'

She looked
embarrassed. 'I lost my head. I wasn't thinking what I was doing.' She paused.
'Why? Wouldn't the publicity be good for you?' she added, her old spirit
returning.

'Why choose
my window?'

She laughed
at that, a natural sound, and he was relieved to see she was herself again. She
hesitated,
then
said:

'What did
you mean about making it your business?'

He picked a
piece of invisible fluff off his jacket sleeve and said, without looking at
her, 'I've been thinking a great deal about you lately, Constance.'

'Yeah?'
Her eyebrows arched, she looked at him quizzically.

'I want to
make you a proposal.'

'Why should
you?' she asked bluntly.

'It'll be
good for both of us.'

Her eyes
narrowed as she waited to hear what his offer was. His next words had the
effect of making her mouth drop open in astonishment.

'Marry
you?' she echoed incredulously.

'That's
what I said.'

'You're
crazy.'

'I mean
it.' He rolled his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger and gazed down at
the tops of his shoes.

She moved
her head from side to side in bewilderment. 'Why should you want to? You
couldn't love me, you hardly know me and ... and I certainly don't want to
marry you. I don't love you, the
idea's
preposterous.
Why, I've never thought of you once in that way, it simply never occurred to
me.'

'I could
give you everything you've ever wanted, Constance,' he persisted. 'And you're
wrong in saying I don't love you, I haven't stopped thinking about you since we
met.' Her huge eyes opened even wider at that. 'You're beautiful and sweet, and
I want to help you, protect you. I've given the whole matter a great deal of
thought and marriage would he in both of our best interests. Obviously you
don't feel the same way about me as I do you, I appreciate that, but in time
you could grow to love me.'

She screwed
up her face. 'But you could have any woman you wanted. Why pick on me?'

'I want
you.'

Her
forehead wrinkled. 'It doesn't make sense. What can I offer you in return? Why
don't you marry someone of... your own class, have kids of your own, instead of
taking on a ready-made family?'

'Don't
think I'm just being noble, Constance. I'm proposing to you for purely selfish
reasons. I want you at all costs, and the fact that you're pregnant doesn't
make me want you any the less... in fact more, because if you think about it,
you're going to need looking after.' Sweat appeared on his forehead and he
brushed his upper lip. He supposed he shouldn't have rushed her like this, but
he was desperate – and who was to say the girl wouldn't go and commit suicide
at the next chance. Opportunities like this didn't happen often, and he knew he
had to grab any straw while he could, and this seemed the perfect solution to
all his troubles. 'Now, Constance, what do you say? Is it a bargain?'

'You make
it sound like one of your business deals, Samuel.
l
just can't see what you'd get out of a marriage with me. Oh, don't
misunderstand.' She smiled faintly. 'It's a very tempting offer; what girl in
her right mind wouldn't be flattered, bowled over ... and me in my condition,
too? It's just all happening too
fast,
I can't take it
all in. I hadn't thought of keeping the babies. In fact,' her voice took on an
edge, 'in fact, I don't think I want to have anything to do with them. Surely
you can understand that?'

He licked
his lips. 'But I'm offering to adopt them – give them and you a good home,
better than anything they could ever hope to get elsewhere.' He spoke with a
firmness he was far from feeling and reached for her hand. 'Does it have to
make sense? Do human emotions have to be analysed and categorised instead of
being accepted at face value? Can't you simply accept the fact that I want to
marry you and be a father to your babies?'

'And what
of love; doesn't that count?' she asked in a small voice.

'You must
be practical.' He edged closer, but Connie shifted away impatiently.

'You
couldn't begin to imagine how I feel, Samuel. I was raped, taken by force;
The
babies aren't even born yet, but already I hate them. I
know you think I'm being hysterical, but I can't help it. What sort of mother
would I be like?'

'We could
get a nanny to take care of them for you, but you'll grow to love your sons,
I'm sure of it,' he said, with more confidence now.

'Sons!
What if they're not
boys,
or one of
them's
a girl?'

'We'll give
her away for adoption as you intended, and just keep the boy,' he said easily.
'If you don't want to keep her as well, that is.
Makes no difference to me.'

He puzzled
her. 'And if they're both girls, what then?' she challenged.

'Don't say
that!' He caught himself and lowered his voice. 'It's a
fiftv
-fifty
chance that one will be a boy.'

'Does it
change things if you're wrong? Look, I don't want either of them, whatever they
may be. I won't even want to see them after they're born. God, can't I make you
see?'

'Think
about it a minute,' he said persuasively, although he was conscious his palms
were now clammy. 'You'd live in luxury for the rest of your life if you married
me. Wouldn't you like that? You'd want for nothing, I'd see to it. Isn't this a
way out for you, too?'

She wasn't
listening. 'I could have the babies, then get them both adopted, like I'd first
intended. That way I wouldn't have to care for either of them, nanny or no
nanny,' she said slowly, almost to herself. 'Then I'd marry whom I pleased, if
and when I wanted to... if I found someone who'd take me after all this, of
course.'

'You see,
there's always that! Don't be silly,' he said, suddenly filled with panic as he
saw his dreams slipping from his grasp. 'Believe me, I love you. Could another
man show his love for you as much as I'm doing?'

She was
suddenly unsure of herself again as his words penetrated, and wondered if
perhaps she was being foolish. She glanced at him surreptitiously, trying to
imagine Samuel Jessop as her husband.

'Oh, I just
don't think I know what I want any more,' she said in a rush.

He kept the
triumph from showing on his face. Constance was weakening, he recognised the
signs. 'All right, my darling,' he said warmly. 'I understand. Let me know when
you decide, and I promise you'll have the best care and supervision when the
babies are born.' He could hardly contain his excitement. 'I know you'll come
round to seeing sense in time. I just know it.'

Her face
relaxed as some of the tension she was feeling eased. 'You may be right,
Samuel. I've got to admit that this does take a weight off my mind.' She looked
across at him shyly. 'And ... I already like you a little, so maybe I could get
to ... love you.'

He bent
forward as if on cue to take her into his arms, but she shook her head and
pulled back, raising a warning finger. 'But if they're both girls
... '

He stifled
a groan. 'God forbid,' he muttered feelingly.

'If they
are,' she went on, as if he hadn't interrupted, 'they'll both be adopted. That's
my condition.' Connie still thought he
was nuts – wanting to
adopt another man's son instead of having his own but, if that's
what he
wanted.
then
it was his look-out and who was she to
look a gift horse in the mouth?

He took a
deep breath.
Tt
was a gamble he had to take, but the
odds were on his side. What did he have to lose? 'I'll take the chance if you
will, Constance.'

Only then
did she allow him to take her into his arms, and they sealed the bargain with a
chaste kiss.

When Connie
had gone, Samuel crossed his legs and leaned back comfortably, a broad smile on
his face. No one need ever know that it wasn't he who had made the girl
pregnant, and married her to make everything legal. This way his manhood would
never be in doubt, and he'd have an heir into the bargain – a son at last, one
he could call his own. He savoured the thought lovingly, marvelling at the way
the pieces of the jigsaw had finally fitted together at last.

Constance
would make him a good wife and, should things go wrong, he doubted whether her
will was stronger than his and that he wouldn't be able to cope with any
ensuing fuss. No one need ever guess his secret if she co-operated fully,
whatever the
outcome,
and he was sure he could manage
her. She was young, gullible and inexperienced, but was undoubtedly very
attractive, and would be even more beautiful later. With a little coaching and
polish at the edges she'd do him proud – all she needed was a firm hand.

As he
congratulated himself on having pulled off his best takeover for ages, his
thoughts were rudely interrupted when the door burst open a second time. This
time it was Sheila who entered, but his ready smile on seeing her drained away
when he saw her face. He steeled himself for the explosion and hoped she
wouldn't make a scene – he'd hate to have to get rid of her, she was radically
irreplaceable.

'I've just
met Connie in Reception,' Sheila cried, slamming the door violently and coming
to stand before him. He looked up innocently. 'She told me the news.' Her lips
were white around the edges. She looked as if she were about to burst.

'About her
having
twins,
or about our forthcoming marriage?'
Samuel asked mildly.

'Both,' she
snapped. She made an appealing gesture. 'You can't and mustn't do this to her,
Sam. I won't allow it!'

'You
won't?' His mouth was a tight line. 'Don't forget I can do as I please, Sheila.
Kindly don't interfere in what doesn't concern you.'

Impatiently
she stripped off her gloves and poured herself a coffee. 'You know it's not
fair on the girl.'