Capital Sins (5 page)

'Go on,'
Tilly
said impatiently. 'Did he do it to you?' Connie's
face was comical. 'He sure did, but I was surprised that it didn't hurt.'

'It doesn't
if you'd been broken before,'
Tilly
said wisely.

'I suppose
so. Anyway, it was all a bit grubby and quick, nothing like I'd expected and
afterwards I wished I hadn't let him. I hardly knew what was happening at the
time.'

'A disappointment, huh?'

'A bit,'
Connie admitted. 'He wasn't very romantic about it – just pulled down my
knickers and that was it.'

'Was that
the only time, then?' When Connie nodded,
Tilly
sniffed snootily. 'So you're not very experienced after all.'

'I didn't
say I was. I just said I wasn't as green as I look.'

They drank
in silence for a while, then
Tilly
said, 'And you
don't know anything about your parents?'

'I picked
up a bit of news here and there along the way. I'm not sure it's true, but I
heard that my mother was Norwegian, and that she came to this country as an au
pair or something to study the lingo. They said she was beautiful, so I guess
she didn't lack for boyfriends at all.' She drew up her legs and rested her
chin on her knees, looking pensive. 'It seems she met this guy, an actor by all
accounts, and got pregnant by him. I was the result. They said she had a good
home back in Norway and was more or less engaged to a bloke there. I guess she
didn't want to jeopardise her future with him, so after I was born, she dumped
me.'

'She never
visited you ever?'

'I don't
remember. Guess she returned to her own country soon after without telling her
folks and got married.'

'What
happened to your father, this actor?'

'His name
was on my birth certificate, and I remember when I saw his name I just cried all
day. I'd heard of him, you see. He was quite famous at one time.'

'Didn't you
bother to contact '
im
, or '
im
you?'

'I read
about him in the papers later. The article said that he had once earned as much
as a thousand a week ... '
Tilly's
eyes widened. '...
in a musical or play, but then suddenly nobody wanted to employ him, and he'd
been caught shoplifting in a store. He was really down, and couldn't afford to
keep himself hardly, let alone pay the rent.'

'What '
appened
to '
im
?'

Connie
shrugged. 'Maybe he became nameless and lost among a crowd of tramps, maybe he
turned to
meths
... He's probably dead now, I don't
really know.'

'Don't you
care?'

'Of course
I do,' Connie said bitterly, 'but where will caring about him get me? Did he
ever care about me – my mother either?' Her eyes darkened.

'Hell, you
ain't
had it so bad, kid. I'd say you
was
one of the lucky ones, not having parents around.'

Connie
looked sympathetic.
'Rough home life?'

'Sheer hell.'

'Let's talk
about you, then,' Connie suggested graciously
..

'OK,'
Tilly
said, with obvious relish. 'Ask away.'

Connie
pursed her lips. 'What do you do?'

'I'm an '
ostess
in a club.'

'Really?'

'Why should
I lie?
I been
workin
' at the
Topaz for about six months now.'

'Doing
what?'

''
Ostessing
, what else?'
And
Tilly
gave her a look as if she were really dense.

'What did
you do before?'

Tilly
smirked. 'Believe it or not, I was
livin
' with me mum
and dad.'

'What made
you leave them?'

'A girl's
gotta
get out and do things, see things for '
erself
,
ain't
she? Christ, but it
was awful there! They
was
always screaming at each
other, and he would bash '
er
, and then she'd bash '
im
, and there was always the other snotty-nosed kids
yellin
' the place
dahn
. The
nights were awful, them walls were like made o'
paper,
you could 'ear every grunt and snuffle from the next room, like a
coupla
pigs they were. I didn't '
ave
any privacy – even the bog in the backyard didn't '
ave
a lock. I weren't sorry to see the backs of '
em
, I
can tell you, and they was so pleased to see me go, they even '
elped
me pack me bags.' She giggled, and Connie reflected
it would take a lot to get this girl down.

Tilly
reached under her pillow and produced a packet of cigarettes and a box of
matches. 'Fag?' she offered.

'I don't
mind if I do! Thanks.'

They puffed
away for a while, and then
Tilly
said, 'And
wot
you
doin
' with
yerself
, Connie?
Where you
workin
'?'

'Do you
know Jessop House?'

'
That huge great skyscraper thing bang
in the centre of town?
Sure, posh-
lookin
' place,
innit
?
What
d'you
do
there?'

'I'm a secretary.'

'Respectable, huh?
Ah well, takes all sorts, I always say.'
Tilly
dragged smoke deep into her lungs expertly. 'What
d'yer
do
for kicks?'

'How do you
mean?'

'Kicks, girl, kicks!
Jeeze
, where you been
livin
'
– in the provinces? Look,
kicks is
what you look for
when you've finished at your nice little office at five. Kicks is living and
knowing you're still alive. When you don't kick no more, you can take it from
me, Connie girl, you're dead and buried!'

'I haven't
had a chance to find out where it's all at yet. Give me a chance, I've only
been here a short while.'

'Then
you're game, yeah? Anything for a laugh, I always say.

Connie
looked doubtful and mashed her unfinished cigarette into a dish already full of
old, burnt stubs.

'Surely you
ain't
really
so
prim as you
look!'

'I can't
help the way I look,' Connie replied, rising to the challenge. 'It's just that
I don't want to get myself landed in hot water.'

'You're on
your tod now, kid. You
gotta
learn to take care of
yerself
, same as I do. No one's
gonna
teach you about life, it comes with experience. I know what I'm on about.' She
looked at Connie, considering. 'You must toughen
up,
otherwise you'll be taken for a patsy. The losers are a dime a dozen and unless
you start thinking about number one, you'll be one too.' She shrugged her
shoulders.
'If you walk around with your head in the air.
thinking
of romance and daft stuff like that, don't be
surprised if you fall through a hole in the ground. Don't you want a good
time?'

'Depends on the good time.'
Connie said carefully. 'I don't want to end up
in the gutter like some. I've never taken drugs and I'm steering clear of
things like that.'

Tilly
screwed up her face scornfully.
'Drugs.
Bloody mugs
game, them. They're just a cop-out, and people who take '
em
are cop-outs, too! Christ. I've seen them kids hanging around the wharf, and in
bars and at street corners. Most of them don't know whether they're
comin
' or
goin
', or what time of
day it is, and I for one like to know what's happening around me and to me
always.' She shrugged nonchalantly. 'I won't say I
ain't
never tried the stuff,' she went on flippantly, 'but I just did it to know
whether I was missing anything. I only did it once, I didn't '
ave
to do it at all, I mean, nobody made me. I don't need
that
kinda
junk like some of '
em
do.' She rolled over on her back. 'Anyway, I wasn't talking about drugs. I
gets
me fun other ways – from men, like. I like to '
ave
them crawling an over me.
panting
like
bleedin
' dogs just for a tiny lick. Then when I
got what I want from '
em
, I give '
em
the boot, richer with cash and presents if I'm lucky, and I usually am.' She
winked lewdly. 'It's dead easy.'

'You don't
like men?'

Tilly
raised her face in astonishment. 'I didn't say that! If I didn't like '
em
, I wouldn't bother with them. Stands to reason, don't
it, girl!' She blew a cloud of smoke into the air thoughtfully,
then
asked Connie how old she was.

'Nearly seventeen.'

'You look
older, and act older.
too
.
I'd've
taken you for twenty easily.'
Tilly
stuck the end of
her cigarette to her bottom lip and let it hang there impressively. 'Do you
like working in a stuffy old office then?'

'So far.
Why?'

Tilly
shrugged. 'I
dunno
... you look like you could be a
model.
or
something glamorous like that instead.
You're nice looking.
you
know.'

Connie
inclined her head modestly. 'I think you're pretty, too.' she returned
generously.

'I'm OK
with me make-up on.'
Tilly
tossed her head and her
short, curly black hair, cut Afro-style.
bobbed
around
as she did so. She craned forward and looked into the mirror, tossing her head
again. She paused to admire the effect.

'I'm so-so
without me war paint,' she went on. 'But I
gotta
take
care of my figure. I adore bread.
cakes
.
sweats
an'
snuds
.
butt
can so easily go from a size ten to a twelve. You're
about a size twelve.
ain't
you? Yeah, thought so, but you’re
taller'n
me with
it. You know,' she kneeled on the bed and looked at Connie excitedly, 'what
with your long blonde hair and fair skin, and me being so dark, we wouldn't
arf
look good together when we go out.
Sorta
set each other off, like.'

Connie's
lips twitched. 'Where did you have in mind?'

'Well.
you
weren't
gonna
stay in this
hole every
naight
.
you
?
Wasn't you thinking of
goin
out to find some fun?'
She sat back on her haunches.
face
earnest. 'Listen.
most
evenings I'm at the Topaz, but I could get you in
fer
nothing if you wanted. On my nights off we could go
out, to the flicks, a dance, anywhere.
How about it.
Connie?'

They
arranged that Connie would go to the Topaz the following Saturday night,
Tilly
assuring her that she would introduce her to some
'real, nice gents' if that's what she wanted.

As warned,
Connie found working at Jessop's very demanding but, thanks to Sheila, who had
taken her under a protective wing, she coped without getting into a muddle.
Samuel Jessop seemed to drift in and out of the office at unusual times, but
his presence didn't bother her, although occasionally she'd look up to find his
eyes on her. Connie worked directly for Sheila and had little to do with him,
except making the occasional cup of coffee for him. She marvelled that such a
forbidding-looking man could even smile, yet she often heard him laughing with
Sheila in the sanctuary of his own rooms.

Connie
found the Topaz Club a real eye-opener.
Tilly
hadn't
been able to be with her for long, but that didn't stop Connie's enjoyment.

With her
first week's pay, she bought the dress that she'd worn to the club. She'd piled
her hair on top of her head, and felt extremely elegant with the results. Heads
had turned to watch the cool, blonde beauty go by in the streets and more than
one man sighed for a smile from her curved lips. Connie took her beauty for
granted almost and would have been surprised to learn just how many pulses
quickened at the sight of her slender body and long legs.

A dozen or
more men had asked her to dance during the evening at the Topaz, and one or two
she had really liked the look of, youngish, well-dressed and loaded with money.