Careful of the Company You Keep (34 page)

BOOK: Careful of the Company You Keep
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58
Renee
Wednesday I went to Nyra Recreational Center looking for my mother. I hung around all day until one of the workers came up to see if she could help me. I guess since I'm not crazy I stuck out like a sore thumb.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
I looked into her kind chocolate face. “I was trying to see if my mother was here.”
“Who's your mother?” Her badge said program director.
“Bernice Brown.”
She frowned. “That name doesn't sound familiar, but I can check our database.”
I sat around watching the mentally ill playing Ping-Pong and doing arts and crafts activities at a nearby table.
“I'm sorry, but we haven't had anyone by that name. I checked the computer. Every participant has to register to attend our services here and they have to sign in during each and every visit.”
“What about Hattie Woods?”
He eyes lit up with recognition. “Oh yeah, Hattie is a regular here. Although we haven't seen her in two weeks.”
“That's because her mother died and she went to St. Louis for her funeral.”
Her brow rose. “Hattie's mother died when she was a kid. It was a traumatic experience because Hattie was spending the summer with her grandmother when she passed away. By the time she got home her mother had already been buried.”
All hope swept from my body.
“Schizophrenics have moments when they believe something is happening that really isn't. If she told you her mother had just died then she was reliving that time in her life. It's really sad because they sound so convincing. Unless you know better, you believe them.”
I left the building and felt like crying. I had gotten my hopes up. Despite everything I do and say, I really did want to see my mama again, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen until she was ready to come back home.
I drove home and spotted Hattie walking up the street. She stopped and waved when she saw me. “Hey, Hattie. What are you doing here?”
She was smiling and seemed agitated. “I just got back.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, they did a cremation. When I get my check I'm going to pay you back.”
I shook my head. “You don't have to.”
“But I want to,” she said in an animated voice. “I never saw my mother look like that before. She had on a white dress and a band around her hair that looked like a halo.”
I gave her a sad smile and didn't even mention that a few seconds ago she said her mother had been cremated. “Well, I'm glad you're back.”
“Me, too,” she said, then waved and moved down the street. I looked in my rearview mirror and realized she didn't even have on shoes.
I drove on home and went inside my empty house. The kids wouldn't be home for hours. I had taken off work because I really believed I was going to see my mama. I reached for my photo albums in the cabinet, pulled one out, and started flipping through it, looking at her pictures and remembering the happier times. Tears started running down my face and I reached for a tissue on the coffee table and wiped my face. Mama was out there somewhere. Hopefully, someday I'll find her, and when I do, I'm going to welcome her with open arms.
My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I reached for it, and when I saw it was John I got mad all over again.
“Hello?”
“Renee, this is John. Did you go and take your test?”
“Yep. And guess what, mothafucka, ain't shit wrong with me.”
“What?” He seemed stunned by my response.
“Do I have to spell it out to your gay ass? I don't have HIV!” There was a long silence. It was so long I thought he had hung up. “Are you still there?”
“Yeah, I'm just thinking, that's all. If I didn't get it from you or Shemar, I must have contracted it from Carl.”
“Who the hell is Carl?”
“A man I met online last year. Sorry about that.” He hung up just as I was ready to cuss his ass out. He put me through that shit for nothing. Gay-ass mothafucka! First thing tomorrow I am getting a lawyer and divorcing his ass.
My life was starting over. I hadn't heard from Kenny. I'm sure he's going to call me once things die down for him at home. And when he does, I plan to tell him it's over. I never felt good about messing around with a married man, and I shouldn't have ever started something that I didn't believe in, but at least I still had a chance to correct my mistake.
I put the books away. I was going by Danielle's later to see how she was doing. My heart went out to her, but now that she had Calvin back in her life, I had a good feeling that she was going to fight HIV with everything she had.
The doorbell rang. I moved to the door and looked through the peephole. What the hell? It was Regina Tolliver. The stalker who worked with Calvin. “Can I help you?”
“I need to talk to you for a moment.”
I don't know what we could possibly have to say to each other, but I opened the door anyway and let her in. She stepped into my living room and started walking around like she owned the house. “You've got a nice place.”
“What can I do for you?” I asked in a curt tone. I hoped her Amazon daughters weren't picking on Tamara again.
She swung around. “You know I work for the university police with Calvin?”
I nodded. “Yeah, he told me. But what's that got to do with me?”
She heaved a heavy breath. “I'm in love with him, but he swears he's in love with someone else.”
“He is.”
Regina pursed her thick lips. “I know, and that's a problem.”
“What are you talking about?” I snapped.
“I mean, I've warned you to stay away from my man but you don't seem to be listening, so I thought I'd come and tell you personally.”
My radar went off.
This
was the bitch who'd been calling my phone.
“I asked you to quit calling my man.”
“What?”
She really thinks I want Calvin.
“Honey, you got me confused. I don't want Calvin.” I took a seat on the couch and gestured for her to sit as well. She didn't seem interested.
“Why are you lying? I've seen the two of you together.”
I can't believe this shit. She's been harassing the wrong woman.
“Girl, you've seen us talking, that's it.”
“You're lying! I saw you coming out the house wearing his university sweatshirt.”
Sweatshirt? Oh shit! That day I set him up at Danielle's, I came out wearing his shirt and a black Expedition was parked at the curb.
“I saw him coming to your house. You called the office and asked to speak to your boo. And at the hospital the other day your hands were all over him.”
I couldn't help it, I started laughing. “Regina, you got it all wrong.”
“No, I got it right.” She glared at me.
“Bitch, it's time for you to go.” I rose and gestured toward the door. It was then I noticed she was holding a small twenty-two in her hand. She raised it and pointed it at me. “I called you private but you ignored me. Then the other day I was in his office and saw the ring he had bought you and I knew I had to do something soon.”
I shook my head. “He's seeing another woman. Not me.”
“I'm his woman, not you! The only person he should love is me!”
Okay, let me try another approach.
“You're right. He is your man and I'm going to go and call him right now and tell him to come over.” I moved toward the phone and heard the gun click.
“Bitch, don't you dare move.”
Shit, she didn't have to tell me twice. I froze and swung around with my hands in the air. “Regina, please, don't do anything stupid that you'll later regret.”
“The only person who's going to have regrets is you. You want to take my man from me and I'm not having it!”
I lowered onto the couch, keeping my eyes on the gun. “Please don't kill me. I have children and family who love me,” I pleaded.
“What about the man I love! Huh? What about me?”
“You can have him.”
“You're just saying that so I won't shoot you.” She laughed and pointed the gun at my head.
“No, it's true! It's true. You can walk out of here right now and I won't tell a soul.”
“Liar!”
She was getting more agitated by the second, and the last thing I needed was for that crazy bitch to shoot my ass.
“Get down on your knees.”
“Please, you don't want to do this,” I pleaded.
“Now!”
I dropped down and tears started flowing because I was no longer sure I could calm her crazy ass down. I had just been given my life back and now it was about to be taken away from me again. “Please, Regina. I am truly sorry. I never realized how much you really loved him.”
“I was planning to have a baby for him but I got fired this morning. Now he no longer wants me and everything is ruined. You ruined everything!”
I was shaking so hard my teeth chattered. All I wanted to do was pick up the phone and tell my kids one last time how much I loved them. The thought of never seeing them again had me so upset I peed on myself.
“I plan to shoot you in the head, then I can act like I just came over and found you like that.”
I tried to stall. “Won't work. They'll find trace evidence of gunpowder on your hands.”
Regina scowled and started pacing the length of the room. “Damn. You're right.” She nibbled on her lips, then grinned. “Then I guess you'll have to shoot yourself.”
She was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs if she really thought I was going to kill myself. “You'll have to kill me yourself.”
Laughter danced in her eyes. “No problem.”
I jumped out of the way just as Regina pulled the trigger. I screamed and felt a burn at the side of my head and another at my arm, then everything went black.
59
Renee
I glanced down at my lap again at my directions, making sure I was heading the right way. My brother had moved to a new house and had invited us over for Thanksgiving weekend.
Lisa would be so proud of me.
In the last five months my life had changed so much. Quinton got a full athletic scholarship to play football for Purdue. I was so proud of him, but it was hard to get used to my son not being around. Tamara was on the honor roll again. She had started her senior year and was still a member of the National Honor Society. I couldn't complain. Both my kids were doing the damn thang.
“Mama, I think that's his house over there.”
I stopped in front of a brown two-story house with a wraparound porch and put the car in park. My heart was pounding. I was so nervous.
Tamara turned to me wearing a strange look. “Mama, are we getting out?”
I wanted so badly to tell her no and put my car back in drive and peel away from my brother's house, but I had made a promise, both to my sister and to God, that I would see this day through, and I was going to do just that.
Even if it killed me.
“Yes, we're getting out.” I turned the car off. I opened the door and slowly pulled myself out of the vehicle.
“Mama, you need help?”
I shook my head. I refused to be a victim. The last five months had been a rough, long ride.
Regina had shot me in the face and arm. The main nerve in my face was damaged so the muscles on the left side of my face sag and I can't close my eye. The second bullet hit the upper left arm, so I've lost all mobility. It's totally useless. I just thank God it wasn't my right arm, otherwise I would have had to retrain myself to write. Typing with one hand was bad enough. My voice recognition software no longer worked because I slurred when I spoke and most times I slobbered as well. Despite my handicap, life was good. I had a strong support group.
Kayla is happily married to Jermaine. Nadine and Jordan are the mothers of twins, Tristan and Trinity. Danielle is taking her medicines, receiving counseling, and learning how to be a survivor. She and Calvin will be tying the knot next month and I'm her matron of honor. Calvin didn't contract the virus. Thank God! Nobody has seen Chance, not even his baby's mama. A week after Danielle discovered she was HIV positive, Ron was found floating face up in the Missouri River. All of us suspected Kee of the murder, especially after the way he went off when he found out who had infected his baby sister. But none of us would ever breathe a word of it. As far as we're concerned, he was with us that night.
“Mama, Uncle Andre's house is pretty.”
I returned my mind to the present and stared up at my brother's house. It was true. Big, spacious, with over an acre of land, and high maintenance. Little brother was doing quite well, but then I wasn't surprised. I had a house twice that size while I was still married to John. Now I had something that money couldn't buy, a peace of mind and a promising future. Something that months ago was quite uncertain.
There was a Cadillac in the driveway that I knew belonged to my daddy. He'd been buying them for as long as I could remember. In front of it was Janet's sports car. She worked as a Mary Kay consultant and being that her vehicle was pink, she was quite good.
Tamara rang the doorbell and by the time I managed to reach the wide porch, my sister-in-law had come to the door to answer it.
“Hello,” she greeted with a wide smile and hugs for both me and Tamara. I returned the hug. She had always been nice to me. “I'm so glad you made it.”
I released her, then smiled. “I'm glad to be here,” I said, then swiped my mouth with the rag I carried around. The last thing I wanted to do was drool all over her house.
She opened the door wide, then took the cake from Tamara and signaled us to follow her down a wide hallway to the family room where the family was waiting. There was loud voices and laughter. My nephew raced down the hall and I managed to lift him with one arm and gave him a big wet kiss before his spoiled behind wiggled free of my hold and hurried to find his daddy.
Taking a deep breath, I moved into the room to find my brother sitting on the couch and my father sitting in the chair across from him. As soon as I saw him I gasped. Paul looked nothing like the man I last saw at Lisa's funeral. But that had been almost four years ago. He was thin, very thin. With a smile on his face, he rose and moved toward me. I could tell that he was moving much slower. His hair, what little he had, had all turned gray and his eyes looked tired and his cheeks sunken. It took all I had not to cry. Chemo was taking its toll on him.
Andre told me that while I was in a coma, Daddy sat there in my room, reading and talking to me. I don't remember any of that but I was glad to know he really did care about me. It was then that I realized I needed to forgive him and give our relationship a chance.
“I'm glad you came,” Paul said and then he hugged me.
As soon as he wrapped his arms around me, the tears began to fall and I couldn't get them to stop. Before long I could feel his thin body shaking as he cried along with me. It felt so good.
When he finally pulled away, I looked up into his watery eyes and knew then that from that point on everything—kids, friends, family, and my relationship with my stepfather—was going to be all right.

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