Carnal Captive (38 page)

“Don’t tell me what I do or don’t want! You don’t know me.”

He opened his mouth only to close it.

“See.” Where had this crazy courage come from? “You have no idea who I am—was.”

“Tell me.”

“Why?
You didn’t give a damn before this minute.”

“No, I didn’t
because i
t was easier that way.”

Confusion raced in to war with desperat
ion
. “In other words, as long as you didn’t know I grew up dirt poor, that
I was terrified of my
step
father,
that
we moved around
a lot and
I
stopped going to school at fifteen
,
you wouldn’t have to think about me as a human being?”

“What happened after you dropped out?”

No! Don’t do this. I can’t handle thinking you’re more than a big dumb, powerful
, dangerous
jock.
“It doesn’t matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t. Look, I wasn’t prepared for the end to my career. Fortunately, after feeling sorry for myself for a while,
I
screwed my head back on. What about you? I’ve seen what you’re capable of creating.” He jerked his head at her paintings. “That
skill and sensitivity
doesn’t
come from someone who
hasn’t done anything with her life since saying to hell with formal education.”

He’d called her skillful and sensitive. What was she supposed to do with that? Angry at him for throwing her off-balance, she tightened her hold on the handle. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ve
robbed me of
what I most love about being alive.
”

“I understand that. Now.” He extended a beefy hand toward her. “Please don’t.”

Please
?

B
efore she could
think what to say or do
, he catapulted himself at her. His greater weight
forc
ed her back
. S
he
slammed into whatever what was behind her.
Her body went numb, and h
e
knocked
the knife
away
from her
throat
.
Somehow she held onto it.

“No
!
”
Hating him as she’d never hated, she rammed her knee into his crotch.

“
Ah!
Fuck you!”

He could have knocked her senseless. Instead, he
tried to
grab her knife-holding arm.
Desperate not to let him
, she blindly slashed out. The blade struck something. Bellowing, he punched her in her stomach. Robbed of breath, she swayed. The side of his hand slammed against her wrist, and the knife clattered to the floor.

“God
damn
,” he hissed.
They stared at the blood running down his side. Then h
is arms snaked around her, and he pulled her
into
him. S
till struggling, she started to cry.

“Give it up, damn it. You can’t win this.”

“I hate you! Hate you.”

“Yeah, I know.” Releasing her, he planted his widespread hand
against
her chest and pushed
, trapping her
betwee
n his strength and the wall.

Much as she
ached
to claw his arms and knee him again, he was right. No way could she win this battle. They stared at each other like wary dogs.

“I could have killed you,” he said. “For a few seconds I wanted to.”

“I wish you had.”

Chapter Twenty-eight

Bay’s
deep, rapid breathing frightened her. Regardless of what she’d just blurted, she didn’t want to die.
But n
either could she face a lifetime as a sex slave. No matter how earth-shattering this morning’s climax had been, it would never make up for the constant fear of punishment.
The loss of freedom.

“I had a life.” She needed to get the words out before she lost courage or he stopped her. “Nothing like yours, but it was what I wanted. A childhood
of
feeling as if I had no control
was behind me
.” S
he swallowed. “I have a gift. No matter what you do to me
,
you can’t take that away.”

He fingered his
still-bleeding
side with his free hand.
“Does it matter if you’re never able to express yourself?”

His question hurt far more than the blow to her stomach had. He had the power to deny her everything that had given her
life meaning. “I don’t know.”

“I do.”

Incapable of
making sense of what he’d just said, her arms drop
ped
.
S
o this was what
utter
defeat felt like.

Still restraining her, he pressed his
now bloody
hand to his forehead. His frown made him look older, a weary warrior. The words she’d spat during her outburst echoed through her. Of course he’d beat her for what she’d said
and done
. What master wouldn’t?

Did it matter?

Did anything?

“I’m going to lock you up,” he said. “Then I’m going to be gone for a while.”

The cage Master Bay had placed her in wasn’t as large as her dungeon cell but more comfortable tha
n
the outdoor dog kennel. He’d left the light on so she had no choice but to study what else was in the room. There was a sawhorse much like the one her trainers h
ad chained her while they
rape
d
her. The whips and floggers looked new as did the large
X
which was perfect for securing a slave for punishment or forced pleasure.

If her master’s intention had been to terrify and demoralize her
, he
was
succeed
ing. T
he longer she clutched the bars, the more
overwhelmed
she
felt
. Every time despondency threatened to destroy her
,
she fought it by
recalling
those moments when she’d ridden him to mutual release. She didn’t
ask herself
whether other
times like that
would be enough to get her throug
h the years because she
knew the answer.

In a week, a month, maybe a year the last spark would die. Her body would remain behind for her master to do what he wanted with it, but it wouldn’t matter. Maybe she’d forget that painting had once made her feel alive.

The lock on the door to what she
’d labeled
the hell room groaned, and Master Bay walked in holding his cell phone.
Despite his pullover shirt, she could see the outline of a bandage. There was no sign of blood.

“I’ve been out on the lake,” he said, “in my sailboat.”

A sailboat, the mainsail swollen by the wind and seagulls punctuating the clear blue sky. What a beautiful painting that could be.

“Thinking.”

“About what?” She’d already broken every rule that had been drummed into her.
What more could he do to her than he’d already planned?

“The future.”

Not just today’s punishment? Confused, she ran her fingers
over
the bars. She should be terrified, couldn’t understand why she wasn’t.

“This isn’t going to work.”

He was going to send her back to Carnal? If he did, Damek and Reno would decide she hadn’t been broken down enough.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s why I needed some time to myself, because I didn’t either.” He rubbed his forehead, drawing her attention to the frown lines there. “Now I do.”

Did he expect her to grovel and beg not to be
returned
to Carnal? Promise to be obedient?

“I’m going to make a phone call,” he said. “I want you to listen and not say anything but first you’re getting out of there.”

Confused and wary, she waited while he unlocked the cage door. She walked out but didn’t feel any freer.

“Let’s get some clothes on you before we go outside.”

Speechless, she followed him into the
kitchen
where she’d left her suitcase.
At his
nod, she opened it.
A
lmost giddy, she selected a pair of shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt. He might change his mind, laugh and tell her he
’d been lying about letting her get dressed
.
Done,
she turned toward him.

“What
—“
 

“
Don’t,” he interrupted.

The deck overlooking the lake was accessible from the living room, his office, and the bedroom. He led the way through his office. Photographs of him in action on the football field dotted
the
walls. Interspersed with that were team shots and a couple
of pictures
of
him shaking hands with what she assumed were dignitaries. She stopped before one of him in a hospital leaning over a bed with a small girl in it. He
’d just
hand
ed
her a teddy bear in a red and orange uniform complete with helmet. Seeing that side of him was almost more than she could c
omprehend.

The moment she stepped outside, a
water-scented breeze caressed her cheeks and hai
r
. Wildly delight
ed
and
scared
at the same time, she looked at her master. She was barefoot in contrast to his tennis shoes. Maybe that’s all he needed to keep her under his control. Not wanting to, she ran her fingers over the metal around her wrists.

“Sit.” He pointed at one of the patio chairs.

Wondering at her willingness to obey, she did. His outdoor furniture put her
cheap one
to s
hame
. De
spite her warning to remain alert, the view spun around her. A handful of clouds gave
the sky
definition, and she’d been right about seagulls. His sailboat was tied up to a well-constructed dock next to a sleek
sailboat
. The two served as even more proof of what
his career
had given him. Trees and bushes grew all around while a well-maintained lawn swept down to the dock.

R
ealizing he was studying her, she turned toward him
. She started to open her mouth. S
hak
ing
his head
, he held
up a finger.

“
It’s me, Bay,” he said
after punching keys on his cell phone
. “I take it you got my
text
that I’
d
be calling. We need to talk.”

He was going to send he
r back
. If she knew how to handle it, she’d sprint for the boat and put as much distance
as possible
between herself
and him
.

And undoubtedly pay the consequences.

“This isn’t up for discussion,” he said after a short pause. “I’
m
tell
ing
you what’s going to happen. I don’t want her.”

Worthless. She was worthless.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Damn it, listen.
H
er association with Carnal Incorporated is over.
Done with.
Whatever happens from now on is between her and me.”

Looking irritated, he listened. He held the phone away from his ear,
and she heard
a muffled male voice.

“That’s enough!” her master snapped. “You
are
going to the hell listen to me. If you and your goons so much as touch her, I’ll blow the whistle on
the
whole operation.”

Not believing what she was hearing, she leaned forward and locked her gaze on
him.

“She won’t go to the authorities. I’ll make sure she doesn’t.”

By keeping her in the cage? She rubb
ed
her collar.

“You have your damn money. What more do you need? Bow out of her life and
mine
.” Frowning, he listened some more. “Yeah,
of course
. Do you think I wouldn’t
?
”