Carousel (11 page)

But, from what I could see, the dust in the east end was stable and undisturbed. The costume stores and locksmiths sat dormant and steadfast. These were stores that were used to being quiet. They didn't seem to miss people like Live or the Apple Store did. My presence in them was neither welcomed nor despised. Another window shopper, showing fleeting interest, but holding a separate agenda.

Centre Management was a series of nondescript shopfronts in a cul-de-sac leading away from the back entrance. The glass was tinted and there was a list of stickers identifying who could be found inside. I pushed open the heavy glass door and stepped into the coldest room in the whole freezing complex. I shook out a shiver and looked around the reception area. It was all
pretty bland. A desk with a computer and a secret stash of gossip magazines. A couple of chairs for people waiting. A fish tank bubbling away with a solitary guppy anxiously circling the corpses of his tankmates. Doors leading to several offices and a kitchenette.

I sniffed at the stale, dank air and stepped around the desk to drop a bunch of fish food into the tank. The guppy gulped at it eagerly. I watched him and considered a rescue. There was a dreaded bulge at the back of his stomach that seemed more buoyant than the rest of him. It had him tipping dangerously upside down whenever his swimming slowed. I didn't like his chances and spread some extra food across the surface. At least he wouldn't go hungry.

The offices looked the same bar one, which was bigger and had its own couch and sitting area. I decided that this must be the manager's office and worthy of some poking around. Inside I loaded up the computer and fished through some drawers. I found applications for liquor licences. Several giant-size Snickers bars. Unopened letters from a local politician. A packet of menthol cigarettes. A calculator. No master key or secret escape button.

On the computer I snooped through the private folders of the potentially deceased manager. Again,
nothing unexpected. Without the internet I couldn't refresh the email account, but the existing inbox was still pretty interesting. There was a lengthy exchange between Cathy, in whose seat I was sitting, and a potential shop owner named Mike from Ra's Emporium. Mike sold Egyptian ornaments out of Victoria Park but wanted to relocate into the centre. Cathy reiterated that they had received his application but no spaces were currently available. Mike wasn't able to accept this and asked Cathy to remove the lowest-paying existing tenant and offer him the space at a slightly higher price. Cathy had explained several times, in a polite yet businesslike tone, why this wasn't possible and suggested he tried the Southlands complex or wait for a vacancy. Mike wasn't happy. In his final email he confusingly called Cathy a capitalist anti-Semite and threatened to curse the centre. Ironically Mike signed off every email with
Kindest regards to you and your family
. Maybe Cathy should have listened.

There was also a brief email from Centre Security. It contained an update on the installation of some new security cameras in the car parks. We had often thought that the security department might give us some answers on our situation, but had been unable to find their offices in the centre. For a fleeting moment I thought they
might have been in with the management but this wasn't the case. I searched through Cathy's folders for further correspondence with Security but found nothing of note. Frustratingly their email signature didn't reveal their position in the centre either.

Back in reception, I found a rack of keys behind the desk. I shook these into my pocket without much hope and left the icy room behind. We had a massive stockpile of unlabelled keys already and none of them had proven very useful. The most exciting discovery was when Taylor found one that opened the Giant Claw vending machine and we freed the stockpile of cheap stuffed toys.

I slipped some coins into a vending machine next to Best & Less and drank a Solo. We were actually running low on coins at the moment so vending machines were a bit taboo. There were notes all over the centre, but no use for them. Coins on the other hand got us gameplay on the video games in Hoyts. Wash cycles in the laundromat beside Coles. And the chance to validate a hypothetical parking token and get the hell out of this place.

I drained the can and lay down on a couch beside Wendys to listen to The National. The centre was different with a soundtrack. The emptiness filled and it
felt possible to think about people that I used to know. It gave my imprisonment a momentary context. I felt alive in these moments. Like I had as a teenager in a pot-filled garage with Rage Against the Machine. Or in bed with Heather while Soko played on Triple J. But Carousel really amplified the comedown at the end of the song. It was deathly quiet and still. A great big emotional vacuum. This kept my music listening limited and selective.

‘Hello? Nox?'

It was Lizzy. She sounded bored and a little annoyed. I lifted my radio to reply.

‘Yeah. Hi,' I said.

‘What were you doing?' she asked.

‘Sorry. Listening to music,' I replied.

‘Who?'

‘The National.'

‘
Trouble Will Find Me
?'

‘
High Violet
.'

‘Nice.'

She was silent for a moment. Then we both tried to radio at the same time.

Static.

‘Sorry,' I said, getting through a moment later. ‘Are you still in Rugs?'

‘No. The Apple Store. I need a new iPad,' she replied. ‘Where are you?'

‘Just riding around,' I said, having prepared for this question earlier.

‘What are we going to eat later?' she wondered out loud.

‘I can't eat any more refried beans for a while,' I said.

‘Oh. You too?' she asked.

‘What? No. I'm just over them.'

There was a little silence.

‘You love that Apple Store,' I said.

‘Yeah. It's rad. I'm pretty stupid though. I keep checking to see if the iPhones have been updated.'

I laughed but forgot to radio this through.

‘What else you doing? Surfing the net?' I asked.

‘Yeah, I wish,' she replied.

The internet had been down since our arrival. This bummed out Rocky and me but we were used to it now. For Taylor and Lizzy I think it was still like a phantom limb.

‘Maybe we could have a pizza,' said Lizzy.

Lizzy often suggested this but we had long since used up the frozen bases and none of us had bothered to learn how to make a dough.

‘Yeah,' I said, noncommittal.

There was some more silence. Radios weren't really designed for Taylor and Lizzy's kind of rapid-fire, mindless chatter. There was a delay that provided an opportunity to shape questions and answers. Plus the act of pressing a button to speak placed an inherent importance on the message.

‘Or hash browns,' said Lizzy.

I looked up at the ceiling as Lizzy continued to radio through whatever food slipped into her mind. It reminded me of primary school. Cheap looking square panels boarded by a thin steel frame. We used to jump up from chairs to push them upward into the roof cavity.

‘Are you back on the iPod?' asked Lizzy.

‘Yeah. Sorry. Should I have been listening?' I joked.

‘Asshole,' said Lizzy.

‘Where are you, Nox? Rocky and I want to race your ass.' Taylor had joined in on our conversation.

I hesitated.

‘I'm heading back to JB's. Lizzy made me hungry,' I said and rose from the couch.

‘Chicken,' said Taylor.

Or maybe it was Lizzy.

‘Sounds good,' I replied.

I set off swiftly westward, not wanting to run into
them in the east end and get a bunch of other questions I hadn't prepared for.

Lizzy and I snacked and watched some TV in JB's for a while before she drifted off to play some CDs at the other end of the store. Rocky and Taylor returned from their racing and caught their breath on the couch beside me. Lizzy's deejaying was a little higher than conversation level and drifted in over the television. I waited for Taylor to snap, but she surprised me and wandered over to join Lizzy at the stereos.

The pair of them flicked through albums and talked in a way I hadn't seen them do in a long time. They were separate from the world. In a bubble, not just born out of their sisterhood, but out of talent and status, and whatever else separated famous musicians from the rest of us. I watched and was almost relieved to feel a pang of envy. Carousel hadn't changed them yet. It was trying, and maybe it would eventually succeed, but for the moment Taylor and Lizzy Finn were still awesome.

The world retained an iota of sense.

At breakfast Taylor announced her plan to venture back into the staff car park and try to open the garage door. None of us were overly surprised. She was pretty determined to test every door in the centre, and the garage door was one of them. But the car park and the Fiesta were topics we'd steered away from, so there was automatic anxiety.

‘You don't have to worry about the backpacks or anything,' Taylor told me. ‘I'm just going to jiggle it around a little and see if it moves. If anything happens we can figure out a plan afterward.'

Lizzy and I chewed down our porridge quietly. Rocky hadn't surfaced yet.

‘I'm coming,' I said, my cubicle secret weighing heavier by the minute.

Taylor and I looked at Lizzy.

‘I'm not staying up here alone while you two take off into the city,' she said.

Taylor sighed.

‘You should stay in the corridor so that fucking door doesn't close on us,' I said.

‘A doorstop, Nox?' said Lizzy.

I nodded, mocking seriousness.

‘And Rocky?' asked Taylor.

Taylor and I were silent. It seemed like Lizzy should decide on this.

‘He has to come,' she said after a moment.

We nodded and continued with our breakfast. On cue, Rocky cycled around the corner.

I left breakfast and hastily put together a backpack in Army Depot. Taylor had told me not to bother but there were basic things we would need and there was no way I was heading into that car park unprepared. I stashed a couple of stronger Maglites in a bag, as well as a freestanding light that could be placed beside the door while we worked on it. I also stuffed in one of the gas masks. It seemed stupid to take just one, rather than four, but I didn't have a lot of room.

Before I left I packed one final item. A large, vicious looking hunting knife from behind the counter. I felt
ridiculous tucking it inside. Any danger that we were about to face would surely not be quelled by a hunting knife. But I had to take something. None of the others knew what I knew. Even if that wasn't much.

Taylor exited her bathroom and glanced at me with the backpack. She didn't say anything, but to ease the tension I put a couple of her tools inside. Rocky seemed to have been briefed on the plan and stood waiting in the corridor, flicking a skateboard around. Lizzy poured out the contents of a smoothie into a couple of takeaway cups, handed one to Taylor, and we set off.

This time Rocky and I had the door open without any problems. The three of us stepped outside while Lizzy took up position on the step.

I handed her a torch.

‘Your radio on?' I asked.

‘Roger,' she replied.

We turned on our torches and set off toward the ramp.

‘I'm eating the last Tim Tams if you guys take too long,' said Lizzy.

The extra power of the torches lit up a lot more of the space. Not that there was anything to see. Just a big empty car park slowly filling with dust.

At the base of the ramp the three of us immediately
turned around to locate the Fiesta. It was there, just as before. With this confirmed, we headed for the dull columns of light escaping down the sides of the roller door. Taylor stopped beside the door and put down her tools. I took off the backpack, pulled out the portable light I had packed and switched it on. It threw a steady pocket of illumination across the door.

Taylor nodded, impressed.

‘Stick around, Rocky. Okay?' she said.

Rocky nodded, looking slightly bored.

Taylor proceeded to wedge various crowbars under the steel while I searched around for a switch or lever that would open the door and make us all feel stupid. Sometimes I wondered if our escape from Carousel was as simple as pushing a door instead of pulling it and this whole experience had been completely avoidable.

There were a couple of control panels on the wall but nothing that seemed to relate to the door. Taylor had been able to wedge a crowbar underneath the door, but not move it upward even a fraction. She gave up and moved over to one side to see if it might shift that way. I turned to join her but Rocky stopped me.

I looked at him curiously. He nodded in front of me and held up his torch. I followed the light to find
a spider web strung between pillars with a tiny spider suspended in the middle. I patted Rocky gratefully and bypassed the web. His arm lingered on mine, as if there might have been something else. I glanced at him, but he kept quiet.

Taylor could increase the gap at the side of the door a fraction using all her strength on the crowbar. I watched as the column of light widened slightly on one side, and almost disappeared on the other. It was kind of exciting, but I couldn't really see how it would get the door open. Taylor stopped, seemingly thinking the same.

‘Alright. At least I can sleep now,' she said as we both stood staring at the door.

‘Yep,' I said and gathered a few of her tools.

Our radios crackled.

‘So I'm thinking
Gossip Girl
season three, Coke Zeros and those pizza shape biscuit things,' said Lizzy from upstairs as if sensing our failure with the door.

Taylor and I smiled.

‘We'll be back up in a sec,' Taylor replied.

I turned off the light and passed it to Taylor who had the backpack. She placed it inside but it wouldn't zip up. She took it out and shuffled the other contents. Her hand stopped on something.