Carter (Remington Ranch Book 3) (4 page)

“Taken away from you?”

“I might not get my voice back. I might not be
able
to sing again. Like I said, I know it’s silly. In fact it’s probably just an excuse not to make any decisions until I have to.”

Cassidy nodded. “That sounds more like it.”

“Yeah, well I’m not Miss Head-on Full-on like you are. I don’t want to face it until I have to.”

“So what’s your plan? Take three months here, see what the doctors say and then decide?”

“Yeah, that’s about it.”

“And what happens to Autumn in the meantime? And Carter, for that matter?”

Summer shrugged. That was the problem. She didn’t want to make any decisions about her career until she had to, but there were other decisions that she
did
want to make. Decisions that would depend on what happened with her career. “I don’t know, Cass! I don’t want to hurt either of them. I don’t want to screw either of them over, but how can I know anything, until I know whether I can sing again?” She could hear the croak in her voice as she finished—so much for not overdoing it!

Cassidy put a hand on her shoulder. “You need to decide what you want, not wait to see what’s possible.”

Summer nodded. She could only expect that from Cassidy, that’s what she herself would do—take life by the horns and wrestle with it till it submitted to her will. Summer was more used to going along with whatever life dictated and making the most of it. It wasn’t that she wasn’t strong. It was just that life had always dealt her a pretty decent hand and she made the most of the opportunities presented to her. She’d never been in this kind of situation before—where she needed to figure out what she wanted and go after it, for the sake of the people she cared about as much as her own.

“Do you know what you want?”

She shrugged. She thought she did, but everything she wanted conflicted with something else she wanted! Deep down, she already knew she wanted to quit her career. But she didn’t want to leave Autumn in the lurch—her sister’s career was dependent upon her own. She didn’t want to let Clay down either. He’d been so good to her and he had such faith in her. Much as she didn’t want to let them down, she
did
want to see what might happen between her and Carter. And the only way to do that would be to decide that she was going to stay right here. How could she get involved with him if she knew she might have to break things off and go back to Nashville? He’d loved and lost before and it had broken his heart. She had no intention of being the woman who put him through that a second time.

Cassidy patted her shoulder. “Take a little time. You’ll work it out. I’ll help if you want me. Just…” She looked toward the door at the sound of the guys laughing out on the deck. “Don’t take too long. I’d hate to see Carter get hurt.”

Summer nodded sadly. So would she.

“I’d hate to see
you
get hurt, too. And I think the longer you put off making your decision, the more likely that is. Be brave. Be honest with Carter; be honest with Autumn. You’ll work it out. But for now, put a smile back on your face and give me a hand.”

“Okay.” Summer was happy to make herself useful rather than carry on with this conversation which was making her so uncomfortable. Cassidy had made her realize that she had to make some decisions sooner rather than later. She was going to have to
direct
the flow of her life instead of just waiting around to go with it.

Chapter Four

Carter watched Summer as she chatted with Cassidy. Dinner had been wonderful. Cassidy was a great cook, although she had claimed Summer was much better. Now they were all sitting out on the deck over the river enjoying a glass of wine. He didn’t normally like to drink at all when he was driving, but he figured one glass was fine. Cassidy was asking Summer about her sister and Carter felt like he was prying, just listening to them. He knew Summer thought the world of her sister. He also knew that Autumn was a much tougher nut than Summer. Well, he didn’t actually know that. He just assumed it. She was Summer’s business manager, and he had read a couple of articles that mentioned her as a shrewd businesswoman.

Right now Summer was telling Cassidy about all the juggling Autumn had done to clear the schedule while she rested her voice, and to make sure none of her plans were canceled, they were simply postponed. It brought it home to him again that her life and her career were awaiting her return. The roller coaster he’d been riding since he learned she was coming back plummeted down again. What had he been thinking earlier, about risk and potential reward? There was no potential for reward if he got involved with Summer. He’d be setting a sure course toward heartbreak. She’d leave once she had her voice back and he’d be left behind.

“Have you heard anything from Beau lately?” Shane’s question interrupted his train of thought.

He nodded. “I talked to him a couple of days ago. Just about business, though.”

“Has he said anything about Dad’s plans with the ranch?”

Carter shook his head. All the brothers were waiting for their father’s announcement about how he wanted to divide up the ranch between them. Carter was fine with whatever happened. So were Shane and Mason, but Beau wasn’t happy about it at all. They knew that their dad wanted to divide the ranch five ways; between the four of them and Chance. Beau was dead set against Chance being included, even though he’d been like a fifth brother for many years now. “Like I said, we only talked about the rental houses and he wants me to work on one of the properties he’s putting up for sale. He knows I play dumb when he starts talking about Chance. Why do you ask?”

Shane sighed. “I ran into him in town the other day. He was ranting about it as usual. It seems he’s not happy about much of anything at the moment. He’s pissed that Mom and Dad are giving the big house to Mason and Gina. He’s pissed that they’ve already told Chance that the cabin is his.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess, since you explained to me why he is the way he is, I worry about him.”

Carter had to smile at that. “How about that? The littlest brother is finally discovering that thing they call empathy.”

Cassidy laughed. “I think that might be pushing it a bit, Carter. Let’s just say he’s realizing that people have their own pain and motivations. I think he’s fascinated by them, purely because they don’t revolve around him, and he always thought the whole world did.”

Shane gave her a hurt look. “Here I am, trying to become a better man, to be worthy of the love of a good woman, and all you can do is make fun of me.” He looked at Summer. “Told you these guys were mean.”

Cassidy laughed. “I wasn’t making fun of you. That was high praise. I’m very proud of the way you’re coming to realize that you aren’t the center of the universe after all!”

Shane rolled his eyes. “Back to the point. I’ve been thinking that he might just need to find himself a good woman and settle down. That might be just what he needs to make him get his head out of his ass. I mean it’s worked for the rest of us, hasn’t it?”

Carter stared at him. What did he mean by
the rest of us?
It had worked for Shane and for Mason. Carter just hoped Shane wasn’t including
him.
He had found a good woman. Summer was amazing, but he didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of settling down with her—and everyone at the table knew it.

Cassidy seemed to understand what he was thinking, as she so often did. She shot him a sympathetic look before turning to Shane. “Never you mind trying to straighten Beau out. You’ve found the best woman there is and you still haven’t got your head all the way out of your ass. Work on yourself before you go meddling in anyone else’s business.”

Shane really was getting better about picking up on what other people were feeling. He gave Carter an apologetic look before making a face at Cassidy, then rolling his eyes at Summer again. “Just plain mean. Didn’t I tell you?”

Summer laughed. “Poor Shane.” She smiled at Carter before looking back at Shane. “I mean who knows, you could be right. Maybe finding the right person and settling down is what brings out the best in all of us.”

Carter didn’t dare hope that she might be talking to Shane about him.

~ ~ ~

It was dark by the time they got back to the house. It had been a great evening, and Carter had been right about not being able to get away early. Summer turned to him as he pulled up outside the front door. “I saved my voice, so don’t go trying any excuses. You’re coming in and we’re going to talk.”

She loved the slow smile that spread across his face. He nodded and came around to open her door for her.

Once they were inside she led him through to the kitchen. “Would you like a glass of wine?” she asked.

He shook his head. “No, thanks. I’ve had my one.”

She was disappointed. She’d been envisioning the two of them sharing a glass of wine while they talked. She’d decided she was going to be completely honest with him—tell him how she felt and what her fears were. She was hoping he would do the same, and a glass of wine might help him open up a little.

He sensed her disappointment and relented. “All right. I’ll have a small one.”

Once they had their drinks, they went through to the living room. This was weird. He was her friend, they’d spent quite a bit of time together, but she was nervous. It felt like a first date. She was aware of the implications of every word and every move. She wanted them to talk, and she wanted to be able to look at him while they did. But she didn’t want to sit in one of the big armchairs facing the sofa, in case he thought she was avoiding sitting beside him. She took the easy option and sat on the sofa, leaving Carter to decide whether to sit next to her, or opposite.

She was a little disappointed when he selected one of the armchairs and placed his glass on the side table. He looked as nervous as she felt.

“So, where do we start?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Part of me thinks we shouldn’t start at all. Once we have this conversation, we can’t take it back.”

She let out a little laugh. “Maybe so, but we can’t take it back anyway. Just because neither of us have
said
how we feel. We both know, don’t we?”

He nodded, that slow smile spreading across his face. “We do. But…”

“But what?” her heart was hammering. She was afraid he was going to go back to his solution of avoiding her, and she didn’t think she could stand that. It would drive her nuts to be here and not be able to see him.

“But what do we do about it?” He took a sip of his wine then set his glass back on the table before meeting her gaze. “We’ve said we’re going to be honest with each other, so here goes. I like you, Summer. I like you a whole lot more than I should. I’d like to be more than your friend.”

She nodded. Her heart was hammering even harder now. It made her so happy to hear him say the words out loud. “Me too.”

His eyes widened.

“Why do you look surprised? Surely you already knew that?”

He nodded. “I guess I did, but it’s still a shock to have you confirm it. A good shock. But, Summer, I’m a coward. You know my story with Trisha. I’ve avoided women for years, because I never want to feel that kind of pain again.” He shook his head. “But you. You make me feel like it’d be worth it.”

“Worth it?” She didn’t understand.

“The pain is inevitable. You’re going to leave. I’m going to get my heart broken. But you make me feel as though whatever time we get to spend together will be worth a lifetime of hurt afterward.”

She sucked in a deep breath. “But I don’t want to hurt you, Carter.”

He smiled. “I know. That’s part of who you are, part of why I like you so much. You’d never hurt a soul if there was any way you could help it. But the fact is, I’m going to hurt any which way this goes down. I could hide from you for the next three months. But every day would be torture, knowing you’re here and I could be spending time with you. Or we could spend the time together, and then I’ll have to watch you leave.”

Summer sighed. She saw another option, but she didn’t want to say it before she knew if it was a realistic one. “I feel the same way. If you plan to avoid me while I’m here, that will hurt me so much. I’ll understand. But it’ll hurt anyway. But I’m scared. I’m scared that if we do spend time together…” She couldn’t help it, she let her eyes wander over him, taking in his gorgeous face, his big, strong arms, his broad chest and muscular legs. “…if we do get to know each other properly, I’m scared about what will happen afterward.”

He nodded. “I’ll survive.”

She shook her head. She’d known he would think that she was only worried about hurting him. “Maybe, but I’m not sure I will.”

His chin jerked up. “What are you saying?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying. I think I’m getting too far ahead of myself.” She took a long sip of her wine. She really was getting ahead of herself. Maybe this whole conversation was too far ahead of itself. They barely knew each other. Yes there was an undeniable attraction between them, but… She smiled. “I guess I’m saying that I’m starting to feel uncomfortable. I guess I’m saying that all we really need to do is decide if we’re both brave enough to give this a shot, and if we are, well, I guess we’ll just have to see where it goes?”

He nodded slowly.

She waited. Was he nodding his agreement with what she was saying, or was he nodding that yes, he was brave enough to give it a shot.

When he finally spoke, her heart felt as though it was exploding in her chest. “I’m brave enough if you are.”

She grinned and raised her glass to him. “I certainly am. Here’s to being brave.”

He touched his glass against hers and then downed the whole thing.

She did the same.

His smile was different. He seemed more relaxed and she was pretty sure the wine hadn’t affected him that rapidly.

He held her gaze for a long moment. “I guess I didn’t realize how uptight I was feeling. It’s funny, isn’t it, the relief that comes with making a decision.”

She nodded.

“Even if it might be a
really
bad one.”

Oh, she didn’t want him to feel that it was a bad decision! She got up and went to him, and did something she’d been longing to do since the first day she met him. She sat down in his lap and looped her arms up around his neck. “Let’s make sure it’s a good one,” she said. It already felt like the best decision she’d ever made. His arms had automatically closed around her. It felt as though he surrounded her, and it felt so right. He was so big, so muscular, and hard. She shifted a little. His muscles weren’t the only hard thing! He lowered his gaze and turned his head away. She didn’t want him to feel embarrassed! She tucked her fingers under his chin and made him look at her. “I don’t know why you’re looking like that. I take it as a compliment.”

The corners of his mouth turned up. “It’s a compliment all right, darlin’. You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” A low deep chuckle rumbled up from his chest. “I could compliment you all night long.”

Ooh! She liked the sound of that! She raised an eyebrow at him, but he shook his head. “You already know me better than that. I’m a good old-fashioned boy. There’ll be no rushing with that.”

She pouted, she couldn’t help it. That chuckle rumbled up again. He brought his hand up to her cheek and sank his fingers into her hair. “You can sulk all you like, but it’ll be worth the wait.”

She stared into his eyes, her body reacting to his words. She couldn’t wait! But she knew she’d have to. She brought her hands up to his shoulders and brought her face closer to his. Then she waited. And waited. “Are you going to kiss me, or not?”

His arms tightened around her as he pulled her against his chest. He held her gaze until his lips met hers. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, making her sigh. Then his mouth claimed hers in a kiss that left her with no doubts that he’d be worth the wait. She’d never been kissed like that in her life. With one arm, he crushed her to his chest; his other hand tangled in her hair, pulling her head back to give him better access to her mouth. She clung to his shoulders as she kissed him back. When he eventually lifted his head, her breath was coming low and shallow. She wanted more—so much more. From the way he kept shifting under her, she knew he did too. No matter how much he tried to move away, the bulge in his pants was pressing into her, letting her know that that part of him, at least, had no more patience than she did. She squirmed in his lap, but he shook his head.

“I should go.”

“No! I don’t want you to, and I don’t think you do either.” He couldn’t go now!

“That’s exactly why I should go.”

“But you just had all that wine!” She felt bad, but his safety on the road wasn’t really her first concern.